"People who create their own drama deserve their own Karma".

What goes around, comes around! Nothing makes you believe in Karma like when one becomes a parent! Today around 2 pm, Ashu gets a call from her friend, Az asking if she wants to go to the pool with her. Ashu looks at me and I nod my head and she excitedly says yes to her friend, packs her bag and leaves the house. To the pool which is 5 mins walk from our house. At least thats where I assumed they were going and thats what Ashu told me as well. Cut to 5.30 pm - no sign of Ashu. At 6 pm, I am worried. Hd who was watching Nadal making history was worried enough to take his eyes off the TV and look at me. He then walked to the pool to see if she was there or in the nearby park but the pool was closed already and no one in the park. Then I started calling Az's home number, her parents mobile number but no answer. So I walk to Az's house which is 2 mins walk from our house. No ones home. I call three more of Ashus friends who are all in the neighborhood asking if they know where Az and Ashu went but no one knows. At 7.30 pm, my sister calls and asks if Ashu is home because I told her at 5.30 that she's not home yet. Now she's worried too! I knew Ashu would be fine and she would come home soon and safe but the not knowing where she was, was driving me crazy. And the fact that the girl did not think to call from her friends moms phone and tell me where she is and when she will be coming back. Not to mention the guilt trips I was taking. "I am an irresponsible parent! I should have checked with Az's mother. I should have told Ashu to call me if theres any change. " sigh. Anyway, Ashu got back at 8 pm. She had gone to another pool which is a 10 minutes drive away.  "I did nt know you will be worried, Amma. I was having so much fun that I did nt know it got so late. I did nt have my watch." Simple. And she got so upset that we were all worried for her. Sigh. 

The entire 2 hours when I was worried and looking out of the window every 5 minutes, there was only one thing I was thinking about. My Thatha. My Paternal Grandfather. I was 20 years old and in college. Usually I would be home around 5 pm. But on the day I would come late, I would find him standing outside the house, near the gate looking into the direction I would come from. If it was after 6.30 pm, then I can bet on my life that he would be standing there waiting for me. Sandhikaalam (dusk) was the curfew time according to him and in the morning when I left home, he would say "sandhikaalathukulla vandhudu" (Come back before dusk) and that was his way of saying good bye. Even when my parents did nt care, I knew Thatha would be waiting for me. And the most interesting part is that when I arrived late, he would see me and smile and walk back inside without asking me even a single question. I do not think I made him wait every other day but I do remember that in a span of 18 months, at least once a week I would momentarily forget about him because I was busy talking to the boys (what else!!) and would get home late and there I would see him in his white veshti and a mel thundu, waiting near the gate. And I don't remember he ever asking me why I was late. Not even once. And the next day, he would see me off with his usual send off. 

In those 2 hours, I was thinking about Thatha and his unconditional love and support and how patient he was with me and wowed to be the same way with Ashu. You give your child all the freedom they need and hope they are responsible with it. Thats all one can expect. And after all the careful planning on what to tell her and how to handle myself, I failed miserably! Guess one has to be a grandparent to achieve that kind of Zenness and a mere parent just won't do. In other words, Thatha did not slap me in my face because he knew Karma would! 

Spring is in the air!

I dont know if its because we did nt go to India or the US during the December holidays (like we usually end up doing!) but this winter has been tooooooo long! Hours and hours of skiing, ice skating, driving, drinking gallons of tea, pot luck lunches and dinner parties,.... How can anyone bear all these after a point? Not to mention the heavy jackets and boots one has to wear even to step outside for a minute! And for a Hausfrau like me who has to step out a dozen times a day, its highly frustrating! In and out between freezing cold and warmth makes you have crazy thoughts! Like buying a one way ticket to Hawaii just for yourself!! (Sigh!) 

And right in the middle of February, there is this 2 weeks Ski break! Ashu went for a ski camp the first week and read like a million books, the next week. (The latter deserves a separate post!) The camp was quite intense and poor thing did nt complain. One hour by by bus, 2 hours of skiing, lunch break, another 2 hours of skiing and then back in the bus for an hour! She did this Monday to Friday! Not to mention wearing the ski boots all day long, lunging the skis, helmet, etc... I know I would have quit sometime in the middle of the first day!! (Right after the lunch break! ;) And she was also in a ice skating class every Saturday and there was a final performance last weekend which was beautiful! Antu of course does nt embrace winter like Ashu does since shes more like me! Ice skating class - "NO!" Skiing - "ok! But I will cry the entire time! And you have to carry my skis and hold my hands while I walk with the skis and be handy with a tissue to wipe my runny nose and tears"! End of story! Somewhere a four year old Ashu is judging me!!

Anyway, for the first time in four months the weather seemed warm yesterday and I could nt believe my eyes! Is it really warm or am I hallucinating? Are they really kids I see playing outside? The pond melted and the ducks are out? Is it really the sound of the stream flowing? Are the birds chirping? Oh my God! I cant explain it in words! I could actually HEAR the change in the season! Thats when it hit me! That its the silence which is really unbearable about winter! As if Mother Nature is mad at you and decides not to talk to you for a few months! Ashu and Antu went to the shed where the cycles were hibernating and brought them out! I stood in the balcony and waved at them! Of course, nothing lasts forever and the weather forecast says its going go below zero next week but Spring is almost here and with the little preview we got this week, I cant wait!

2. Klasse

Ashu started 2nd Grade today. On any day, I would be crying and getting senti over it. But this is a big change in so many levels.  We switched her from the international school (IS) she has been going to for the past 4 1/2 years to the local school (LS). Even though IS was a 15 km/20 minutes drive and now LS is a mere 250 metres/5 mins walk from home, the huge change which was giving me sleepless nights (just a figure of speech. I slept like a log!) was the language. From a complete English environment with a bit of German lessons twice a week, she would be going to a completely German school. And last month when we went to meet the class teacher, he had a translator present for our benefit!! With self doubt every step of the way, I was worried Ashu will catch on to it. But bless her little soul, she was quite brave about the whole change. Today I walked her to school with the intent of going upto her class and have a few words with her teacher but when we went there was not one parent in sight! (All kids are supposed to walk to school on their own!) What a sharp contrast to the IS where truck loads of parents can be found outside school at any given time of the day! A little girl from Ashus class figured out shes the new girl and asked me if she can take her inside and Ashu was ok too. So I just left her there and walked back home. *sob sob* 

And you know what? Shes going to come home for lunch at noon! Thats what all the kids do. Or go to the Hort where they can have supervised lunch bought from the cafeteria. They cant take packed lunch. And she has a one hour and 50 mins lunch break! Have you fainted yet? If not, another bit of a shocker. She has only 3 full days in a week. Wednesday is a half day for everyone anyway. And her class is off on Friday afternoons too. So she will be home at 11.50! There goes my full day plans! I left the house at 11.45 today to pick up Ashu for lunch and she met me half way! She came running and hugged me and had a huge grin on her face! Phew. And then she dropped a bomb that broke my heart to million little pieces! She said, "Dont come to school anymore, Amma. I can walk on my own!"

Ashu & Antu get a summer make over!

Remember this old post when Ashu had her first hair cut? Well, after three and a half years, history repeats itself!

Here is Antu! We did nt have the heart to chop it all off like we did for Ashu when she was 4 though!

 This truly broke my heart. But what to do?

Ski Break!

Just when I was thinking I should write a post about how much I am enjoying skiing this year, I went ahead and broke my leg! Never a dull moment in my life, I tell you. Long story short - multiple ligament tear and meniscus tear in my right knee! *bangs head* This happened last Saturday when Ashu and I were skiing at Hoch Ybrig in a glorious weather! Two more families were with us and it was all fun in the morning until I fell down. The damage to the knee was not due to the fall but the way I rotated my knee. Hoped it was a bad sprain and tried to be in denial. But on Sunday morning, I could nt put my leg down.

Sunday - Hospital, X ray, kids at a friends house, dinner sent by the friend. A huge cast. (removable, thankfully) No fracture. Crutches!

Monday - MRI in the evening.

Tuesday - MRI reports. Ligament tear in two places and a meniscus tear. Physiotherapy suggested for now. Friend sends lunch. Cousin (college going girl!) comes home to help.

Wednesday - Hd drops the kids, drops me for physio, picks me up later and then goes to office. Cousin picks up Antu, makes lunch. Hd picks up Ashu and comes home. Cousin leaves after dinner.

Thursday - Hd holds fort. A friend picks up Ashu in the evening and drops her home. Friends visit. No horlicks bottle or mosambis!

Friday - Physiotherapy again. Hd holds fort. Cousin comes in the evening. I get a new Knee brace to wear during the day.

Saturday - Hd takes Ashu to a birthday party. Cousin and he make lunch. A friend sends dinner. Cousin leaves.

Sunday - Hd makes lunch/dinner. Takes Ashu skiing.

Monday - Hd drops the kids, makes lunch, picks up Antu at noon, works from home a bit and now off to pick up Ashu and then directly to the airport to pick up my SISTER!

Oh God! This was one of the toughest weeks in my life. Seeing Hd running around like a headless chicken and not able to help hurt more than my torn knee! God knows what I would have done if he had nt pulled through! And some dear friends and not to mention my little cousin! Sigh! I owe them big! Ashu too. She is an awesome helper. Fetching me stuff a million times and taking care of me. At one point, she hung a bag around my neck and put the phones, remotes, book, ipad, etc... and asked me to carry it everywhere! Guess she got tired picking up the phone! Antu is more keen on stealing my crutch though!

My mom will come as soon as she gets her visa. Sis decided to come and help until mom arrives. Family is a family for a reason, I guess. Me - I am just hoping that physiotherapy works and I would nt need surgery! And why oh why the right knee? Does nt the Universe know that we are screwed if I don't drive?

Out of the mouth of Ashu.

Ashu: Amma! What are these?

Me: Storage boxes, Ashu.

Ashu: For our room?

Me: Yes. More boxes that you girls can take stuff out of and make the room even more messy! *rolls eyes*

Ashu: You know, Amma? You can just ask me to clean the room and I will. You dont have to say mean things to make me clean. You can be nice.

Me: *runs to update her blog*

****

One Saturday, we went to the nearby Ice Rink so that Ashu can ice skate. It was terribly, terribly cold and I asked Hd to go home with Antu and come back later to pick us up. After an hour and half, Ashu and I decided to walk home instead of troubling the duo. It was a 15 minutes walk and even though it was freezing, (-10* C) we enjoyed the walk home visualizing hot cocoa! Just when I was about to enter our apartment, Hd calls me and asks where I am and if he can come to pick me up. When I told him that Im almost home, he says that he is out shopping and was thinking that he ll pick me up on his way home! I did the only thing that I do well under these circumstances, I hung up! Looking at my face Ashu asked me what was wrong.

Me: Im upset, Ashu.

Ashu: Why? Is it because I kicked that ball of snow? *panics*

Me: No. Im upset at Appa.

Ashu: What did he do?

Me: I asked him to go home. But hes not home.

Ashu: So what, Amma?

Me: Why cant he ever listen to me?

Ashu: May be he thought he is helping us.

Me: What help? We both walked in this freezing cold. I had the good intention of not disturbing him and Antu. Thats why I decided to walk. What was his good intention?

Ashu: Its ok, Amma.

Me: Its not ok. Why cant people follow instructions? Why? It was a simple instruction. Go. Home.

Ashu: You know, Amma? May be people dont want to listen to your instructions all the time. May be sometimes, they want to listen to their own instructions! OK?

Me: *runs to update her blog*

****

The One with the New Ipad.

I am alive! I am alive! Acute bloggers block and a busy,busy January made me neglect this blog for quite a long time. It has not even been three weeks since we came back from the US but feels like a year already. Numerous school events, dinner parties and potlucks and organizing a surprise baby shower made my life super busy. Not to mention the new dining table, coffee table and side board we bought which we had to assemble all by ourselves. The side board is still lying on the floor in various pieces. Wonder when its time will come!

The kids? Oh, they are enjoying the winter. Its snowing outside right now and Antu is doodling in her doodle board while Hd and Ashu have gone skiing. Life is good especially from the indoors! :)

Ipad has made an entry in our lives as well. A very indulgent Bil (and Sis, I should add!) gifted one to our family. I say family but he gave it to Ashu!! Now you know why we visit US very frequently! ;) Anyway, what with Bils Ipad and the new Ipad, both kids were sitting with one ipad each all the time while we were in the US. If not that, there was the TV of course! What it being vacation and all, I tried to let it go. And since I was coming back alone with the girls, (Hd left a few days earlier) I gave in and loaded all kinds of apps in the ipad for the kids to play in the flight. (Because stupid American Airlines does nt even have a TV and its a loooooooong flight!) While going from here, Ashu drew and colored page after page in her drawing book. Antu read her books again and again or heard music. But of course everything changed while coming back because we have the ipad now!! And to top it off, both of them refused to take turns and were fighting for the ipad! Hello? I was bored too! I needed the ipad to play Temple Run as well!! And once when Antu howled and refused to take turns, I completely lost it! Shoved the ipad in my bag and told the girls that they are being total brats and they are grounded forever! The rest of the flight was quite peaceful, I should say. Once we reached home, I sat them down and told them that they are nt getting any screen time the rest of January and they agreed. And from February 1st, we ll go back to our usual routine. Which is 30 mins TV on Wednesdays and one movie on Fridays. Weekends are flexible. They can watch a bit if we are home.(and depending on how crazy they drive me!) And they can choose if they want to play something on the laptop or watch TV. This was how it has been for the past one year.

It was quite a shock to Hd more than the kids when the new rule of total ban was imposed! Especially in this cold weather when we cant even go to the park after school! He was sure I ll become even more badhrakaali than usual and started coming back late from work! But problem came from a new angle. Antu got up the next day after the ban and asked first thing in the morning, "Is today February the first?" "No, Antu. Its 11th January." She came back from school at 11.30 and asked "Is it February the first now?" "No, Antu. There are 20 days more to February." 3 pm - same question. 4 pm - ditto. By 5 pm - I was ready to switch on the TV!!!! But resisted and let Ashu handle the questions! Ashu dragged her to a calendar and showed her that February is long time away and not to make it any longer by asking this question every hour!!! Ashu had technical doubts though. "Does it mean no TV, no ipad, no laptop?" "Can I still check the weather in the itouch like I do everyday?" "What if I need to used the laptop for my homework?" "Can I see photos in the ipad please?". When the answer was NO to every question, she knew I meant business. Once we went to a friends house for dinner, she refused to watch TV there with the other kids saying that its not Feb 1st yet! Antu has no such qualms, of course!

Honestly I thought that the ban would last a week and I would be at wits end by then and give them a talk and lift the ban! But by one week, they did nt even ask for TV or Ipad anymore and started inventing so many cools ways to play that I was so thrilled! They made a TV out of the packing materials of the dining table one day. And once the dining table was assembled, they pretended that the narrow glass top of the table is TV and camped under the table and watched "Tangled"! (Hd tried to over rule the ban right about now!) The long white thermocol piece was painted and used as a road and they played with cars! Books were read by dozens. Shelves were organized and Antu were perpetually dress-upping all the time! Like today, they spent an hour playing "One hundred adventurers". Which is to run around the house with a measuring tape and hunt for things which are exactly 100 cm long!! Innovative or what! It has been so much fun that Im looking for a loop hole to continue the ban all of February! But Hd being the softie he is has told me sternly that I can not do that! All because he forgot about the ban and showed something to Antu on the ipad one day and she came screaming to me saying, "Its not february 1st yet, its not february 1st yet!" What can I do? I cant help being a terror to my kids!

Anyway, I totally get how some people dont have TV in their house. Its so liberating. Even though TV was always rationed in our house, it always bugged me that they watched TV when they could be doing so much fun stuff! Especially with Antu. At least Ashu would always prefer a book or a story or painting over TV. Antu was/is a total addict! She would even sell her parents to watch Dora! But then, the apple does nt fall from the tree. At the ripe old age of 16, I skipped +2 physics tution class because the timing clashed with Doogie Howser MD! One cant fight Karma, thats for sure!

"What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think themselves cleverer than we are."

Ashu and her best friend G were asking each other some riddles and playing in the car. After a few rounds of this, G asks Ashu.

G: Im going to ask you a tricky riddle now, Ashu. Are you smart?

Ashu: Yes.

G: Ok. Are you very, very smart?

Ashu: hmm.... not really.

I dont know whether to be happy or sad! But I can say one thing. She is EXACTLY like her dad! These are the kinds of people who will not give us even an ounce of happiness when we win against them in any game/sport/debate/argument! Do you come across these annoying kinds? Theres no satisfaction in beating them in any game. Whats the whole point of playing, I ask? Take me, for example. Sis and I have never EVER finished a game of chess in all our life because every time she even came close to taking my queen, let alone the king, the board with all the pieces will magically fling themselves to the floor! There have been innumerable card games which have ended with me or my mom in tears. My sis or my dad swearing that they will never ever play with us ever again. And none of us are graceful winners either! Its a miracle how we did nt end up killing each other! But Ashu and Hd are the type of paavam characters with whom you dont mind losing. You even let them win sometimes because they are so paavam! Not that they are nt competitive but theres something in their demeanour. So graceful and sportive and I guess one has to be born with it and can never be learnt. I ve perfected the art of faking though. After 33 years and 2 kids, Im in a stage where I dont throw public tantrums! I said public!

Something tells me Antu is all me! And the thought terrifies me! *gulp*

The One in Which Ashu Loses Her First Tooth.

Just when I started to focus on Antu again, Ashu had to lose her first tooth and steal her thunder! The much awaited milestone arrived finally this weekend! Ashu has been really impatient the last one year seeing all her friends lose their teeth one by one and her's were nt even wobbly. Around 6 months back, she was thrilled to announce that one of her lower front tooth is teeny-weeny wobbly even though I could nt feel a thing. More like wishful thinking, I assumed. A couple of months back, I did see it wobble a bit and we were all eagerly waiting for the big day! Two days back I saw a new tooth sprouting behind the wobbly one and it looked really weird. By this time, the wobbly tooth was hanging by a thread so to speak and I asked Ashu if I can pull it. "No way!, she screamed. She wanted the tooth to fall while in school so that she can go to the nurse and get a cute little box to put it in. I wanted it to fall while shes home because I wanted to witness the grand event, of course! And finally when it did fall, it had to be on a Saturday while she was attending a birthday party and I was nt even there! A friend dropped her home after the party and Ashu was all excited to show something and while I was thinking that it was some cool return gift, it was her tooth! awww... I had to blink back tears. It does hit you, this losing the baby tooth business! sigh!

Before you ask what the tooth fairy gave her, let me answer you. The child does nt believe in fairies. I told her that she ll get a gift only if she believes in them but nothing could shake her resolve.

How do you know, Ashu? They may be real. Try putting the tooth under the pillow and see.

Amma! Its the parents who give the gift. Not the fairy! And I need the tooth. I want to take it to school on Monday.

You believe in Krishna, dont you?

Yes. But he is GOD. Not a fairy! Also I saw a tooth fairy book in the fiction section in the library. It means its not real!

Check and mate.

I found the box with the tooth safely tucked in her school bag. Decided to surprise her and put a CHF 5 coin in it. She found it this morning and came and thanked me. I told her thats an advance amount for all her teeth and she is nt getting any more money. "But Amma! The upper tooth is bigger. You need to give more money for it when it falls down." Holy guacamole! I need to plant a book on money in the fiction section right now!

A Milestone I dreaded: The F Word.

Loads of friends have told me how their kids said the F word, how shocked they were, how the kids wanted to know the meaning of the word, how they were stumped, etc.. etc... etc... I kind of worried too but Ashu is a kind of kid who instinctively seems to know what will make me happy or upset and she ll avoid asking anything which she thinks will upset me or get her into trouble. Not always, I can assure. But mostly. So I knew I had a long time before I had to face that kind of a situation. But then, one can only dream!

Ashus best friend, G had come home today for lunch and we were all eating at the table. Antu with her "impeccable" table manners had to say "yuck" for God knows what and G immediately gasped, "Oh my God! Antu just said the F word!" I froze. "Its a bad word!", G added! I was speechless. I looked at Ashu who was looking at G curiously! "She said "yuck", G!", I mumbled. "Really? Do you know what the F word is?", she asked. "Forget me. How do YOU know?", I managed to ask. "Oh my sister told me. It is F***! Its a very bad word and we should never say it!". Very clear! "Thats right! Lets not say it then. Why don't we talk about butterflies? Or fairies? or Rainbows?" The girls started giggling and the situation was diffused. Phew.

Was that the end? Of course not. Come bedtime, Ashu asked me the dreaded question. "What is the meaning of the F word, Amma?" Sigh!

"Have you heard the word before, Ashu?"

Quite a defensive "No!"

"Its just a bad word, Ashu. And you will get into a lot of trouble if your teachers hear you say that, ok?"

"Is it a bad word like Stupid?"

"Its much, much worser that stupid."

"Is it a bad word like sissy?"

"What the F***!" (Ok, I did nt say that! But really!)

"Excuse me? Where do you hear words like these? Dont you guys have classes to attend while in school?"

"I heard it in recess, Amma! A called B a sissy because he said he likes pink!"

"Ok, Ashu! Thats another word you cant use, ok? Thats all Im saying!"

"I ll never use it Amma. I just want to know the meaning."

"We ll talk about it when you are a bit older, Ashu! How about two stories today, huh? Once upon a time..."

Im so making Hd handle it when its Antus turn. Which might even be tomorrow for all you know!

The Earrings, the Witch and the Pumpkin.

Diwali came and went. Halloween came and went. It has been non stop partying since last week! Ever since I became the member of PA in Ashus school, life has been so hectic! Hd is wondering why I dont get paid for the amount of work I do and most importantly, will the school pay gas money?! My partner and I organized the Trunk or Treat event for the school last evening and it was a blast! Around 60 cars in the school parking lot, each trunk decorated so spookily and at least 50 more families walked in with kids to trick or treat from car to car! Does nt it sound like fun? The weather was perfect and Ashu was so excited since it was her first time trick or treating! She was dressed as a witch, a costume borrowed from my friends daughter! Yes, Im cheap like that! I did nt dress up but loads of parents did and this one couple looked so cute dressed up as ketchup and mustard bottles and I heard the guy telling someone "my wife left me for a hot dog!" So funny! Though I could have told people I was dressed like a janitor for the amount of cleaning up I was doing there! And regulating traffic and taking umpteen kids to the bathroom because the key was with me! Though I did add a touch of halloween by wearing the below ear rings! My mom bought it for me from the US last year. Is n she cute?

And below is Ashu in her witchy self with her candy loot!

And the jack o lantern Hd carved this year. The man is improving, huh?

Big-Ears and a Big Disappointment.

The very first book Ashu got as a gift at the ripe young age of 5 months was "Noddy's squeaky shoes". (Excluding the tonnes of book my sis got for her, that is!) We would have read it to her at least a million times. And I think her first TV show was "Make way for Noddy" too. At least thats what she liked the most to watch on TV. So much so that my mom got her a huge stuffed Noddy toy for her 1st birthday. She got a Noddy cake too. And when we left for Zurich when she was 20 months old, I bought a couple of Noddy CDs and about a dozen Noddy books. Which she has watched/been read to a couple of more million times. She has poured through each and every picture in each page, well... a million times. Rinse and repeat for Antu too. Now after all that Noddy overdose for SIX long years, Ashu picked up the "A Bike for Big-Ears" today and declared that she can read the whole book all by herself! I was all ears, of course! ;) But she stumbled on the second page. And on a very simple world - "He".

"Big-Ears is a BOY?", she asked with her eyes as wide as saucers! Silly me thought at first that shes asking if he were a man or a boy. So I said No. Then she said, "But it says "He" here. She is a He? He is a She?" Since I had watched Mrs. Doubtfire very recently, I burst out laughing!

"Of course Big-Ears is boy. Hes a man actually! Did you really think he was a woman all this time?"

"Yes, Amma! Look at the long hair!"

"Thats not his hair, Ashu! Thats his beard!"

"Really? Wow!

I could see her whole Noddy world crashing down inside her head. She literally shook her head and continued reading and finished the book. It was a bittersweet feeling for me. One one hand, I was thrilled that she could read on her own. But on the other, it was upsetting that she ll be concentrating on the words more than the pictures. Power of the word, huh?

Five lessons that Motherhood has taught me.

I think I have been tagged after eons. I have to be blamed because I mostly forget to take up tags. Apologies. So let me do Kiran's tag before I forget. Thanks K for shaking me awake from my blogger's block!

So here are the five lessons that Motherhood has taught me.

1. Patience. I never knew I had so much patience in me. And that its never enough. Like today. We came back from school, cleaned up, ate snacks and after packing every sand toy in the house left for the play area downstairs. I asked the girls to use the bathroom before we left and Antu was very sure that she did nt want to go! I even threatened her that I will not bring her back home if she said that she wanted to use the bathroom as soon as we reached the park. And what happened 10 minutes later? Madam says she has to use the bathroom NOW. This has happened before of course. I tell Ashu to play and that I ll go home and come back in 5 minutes. I walk home with Antu. When we cross the water fountain in front of our apartment, Antu says that she wants to play in the water. "Did nt you want to go to the bathroom NOW?", I ask. "No! I want to go to the water!" I give her a dirty look and drag her home. She sits in the bathroom for 10 minutes and declares that she does nt have to go after all! ARGH!

2. Motherhood has also taught me to shut up. When one does nt have a kind word to tell a mother, especially a new mom, then one has to really shut up. Especially things like "I chose not to take epidural" to a mom who is just being wheeled out after a C-Sec or "I nursed my child until so and so years" to a mom who is struggling with breast feeding are a strict no-no. Hold your tongue, woman! Just stick with "the baby looks just like you" and you will be fine!

3. I know all the Disney Princess's names. And I know who Ben10 is and what Bakugans are. I know how Tooth Fairy works. I know how to make a puppy from play-doh and hot to throw kiddie birthday parties. I know how to turn shoe boxes into storage boxes and I also have watched a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. I know all about potty and sleep training and the ups and downs of breast feeding. I learnt to appreciate Children's literature and can recognize Axel Scheffler's illustrations from a mile away! :)

4. Most importantly, it has taught me to walk out of my comfort zone and take risks. While I'm so afraid of deep frying that I don't ever make HD's favorite pooris or my favorite aamai vadai, I have no problem baking cake after cake for my kids even though many a disaster have occurred. Contrary to the popular belief, Im quite shy and suck at making new friends. I take a step if the other person takes a step but I wont initiate it. I'm too afraid that I might be stepping on their toes. But having a very reserved kid means that I'm her mouth piece. Whether its asking for a play date with Ashu's friend or targeting fellow Desi Moms and pouncing on them at the school entrance or volunteering in school or the numerous get-togethers that happen, I owe everything to motherhood. If not for the kids, I would have been very happy in my shell. But being a mother has taught me that the shell can pretty crowded for a family of four. I owe every friend I have right now to my kids. Including my very dear blog pals. :)

5. hmm.... What else? Oh yeah! I ve learnt that I can fake as a supremely patient and super mom when there are people around! When Antu refuses to leave the park and I tell her very nicely, "Lets go sweetie! We ll go home, eat dinner, read a book and go to bed. Come on now!" what I really mean is "kadankaari! Vandhu tholai! veetukku vaa, unakku irukku*!" Or whenever I write in the blog that I ve given up on Ashu's fussy eating habits and dont bother anymore, what I really mean is that meal times battles still exist but I am not going to write about it here anymore! ;)

* Come home, you brat! You will pay for this!

Real Muffins, Fake Cupcakes and Tiramisu.

Ashu's birthday celebrations seem to be extending for a long time. Since her school was closed for Spring break until the 1st of May, she had a small celebration in her class after the school reopened. The usual "going around the Sun 6 times", showing her baby pictures to her friends and teachers, eating cup cakes, etc... I baked rainbow cup cakes and they came out awesome thanks to the gel food colors Sis sent from the US. When I baked the rainbow cake last year, I did nt have gel food colors and even though the cake looked good, the colors were nt really vibrant. And I was quite apprehensive about making cupcakes because all that effort of mixing colors in four different batches for a simple muffin seemed tedious to me. But it turned out pretty easy actually. I had nt told Ashu that it was going to be rainbow muffins and when she got up in the morning and saw all the muffins, the expression on her face was priceless. Guess us moms are suckers for punishment just for that look on our kids faces! Whether its taking them to Disneyland during Spring break or baking rainbow muffins at midnight which are going to be half eaten and thrown in the trash by most of the kids!

We also had unexpected house guests the next week which Ashu thought was in her honor! We hardly have house guests and the kids were super thrilled. A very dear couple with their 2 daughters were on an Europe tour and stayed with us a night before going to Italy. Even though the friend claimed she was here to do laundry(!), we were excited to see them after ages! Ashu asked me yesterday if we can invite S and S for a playdate this week and I had to explain to her that they are in Italy now and will be going back to India and international play dates are nt the norm. Yet. :) The next day we had a small "cupcake" party at home with 2 girls who missed Ashu's birthday party. (Yes, you can say that again - Im a sucker for punishment!) Sis had sent a fake cupcake decorating kit for Ashu and the three girls went crazy making fake cupcakes while Antu and I were gobbling real banana muffins! Antu made sure to ask me "Is this real? Can I eat this?" though! Atta girl! The fake cream looked so real that whenever I got a bit of my cream in my hands while helping them, my first instinct was to lick it!!! Had to warn the girls a dozen times not to lick although Im sure a bit of it did find its way to their stomach! Well, a little bit of glue does nt harm anyone. Or does it?

The weekend was busy with back to back birthday parties for Ashu. What a busy social life these kids have! (And why does April/May have the most number of birthdays, anyway?!) And we had friends over for dinner on Sunday. And Ashu expected them to stay overnight! I made Tiramisu for the very first time and though it came out yummy, it was too much coffee for my taste especially since I dont drink coffee. Got to dilute the coffee more the next time I make it. Funny that when I was googling for Tiramisu recipe, I had to google "how to make coffee" because I did nt know the how many spoons of coffee powder to add to a cup of water to make the coffee! Yes, Im that girl who does nt even know how to make coffee that the Mothers-In-law love to complain about!! Come to think of it, I dont how to boil an egg either! I mean, I did nt! Have I told you how this one time I tried to boil an egg in a "microwave"?!!! God rest its soul! And I mean the microwave here! ;)

Gotta love this girl!

Ashu: Amma! Come and play a game with me.
Me: Not now, Ashu. Im making dinner.

(2 mins later)

Ashu: Amma come!
Me: Im not done yet. Why dont you play something with Antu? I ll join you when Im done.

(5 mins later)

Ashu: Amma! What game do you want to play?
Me: Anything. You choose.
Ashu: Ok. Come.
Me: ASHU! I ll come when Im done, OK? Dont keep calling me.
Ashu: But Amma...
Me: Shush! I dont want to hear one more word.

(Silence)

(I spot her playing by herself with some sight words flash cards.)

(A good 15 mins later)

Ashu: Amma look at this!

And this is what she had done with the flash cards!



I laughed and joined her for a game. I even let her win! :)

Milestones.

Another birthday came and went. Ashu made a lovely card for me. She asked me a couple of days earlier, "Are you going to be 25, Amma?" "Oh I wish, Ashu! I wish! But I'm going to be 33", I told her. "But why would you wish to be younger, Amma? I don't want to be younger. I cant wait to be 6. I feel like I'm already six." Ah! To be young and foolish again! Hd took us to a nice restaurant nearby for a Sunday brunch after surprising me with a pineapple cake! Then we dropped the kids at a good friends place and went for a movie. The Adjustment Bureau. Very interesting story but the end was a bit disappointing! Matt Damon and Emily Blunt were really good. One particular hospital scene was really powerful.

On other news, I completely forgot to mark a milestone. Antu is successfully potty trained by day. It has been almost a month now and I cant believe we got to this point. I was most skeptical because she was nt showing any signs. She was going to playschool. She has to spend so much time in the car so I was wondering where to begin and how to manage. I just let her diaper free one Friday and it was a disaster! But Day 2 was slightly better and Day 3, she could tell me that she wanted to use the bathroom and there were no accidents. I still sent her in diaper to the play school that week but kept her diaper free at home. By that weekend, she was 100% consistent. So I sent her to playschool without diapers and told the caregivers to remind her to use the bathroom. And Voila! She did it! All on her own! Add to that, shes also showing signs that shes ready to be night trained because her diapers are always dry! I cant believe Ashu and Antu are such opposites! Even though Ashu was potty trained earlier than Antu, she took forever to be night trained. Anyway, so thats that! Im done with diapers! Forever! End of an era! :) Funny that 2 weeks back, the entire household used to go on red alert as soon as Antu said "SOO-SOO" and run to take her to the bathroom. Then it became, "wait a sec!" and then take her to the bathroom. Soon it was, "So? Go!" and poor thing started to pull the step stool closer, put the potty seat on top of the toilet, climb up, use the bathroom, etc... all on her own! Now she has even stopped telling us! I got up today morning to see her sitting on the pot and coolly reading a bath book!! And yesterday Ashu told her, "Let me use it first. You wait in line!" and she patiently did! How the times have changed!

Ashu has also successfully completed Level 1 of Skiing and is confidently skiing the beginner slopes(Level 2) using the ski lift and all! Best decision ever to put her and S, a friends daughter in a private class and taking them to the slopes every weekend regularly since January. The girls enjoyed each others company, had fun skiing and enjoyed the whole experience. And we feel we had a productive winter too! She has also taken to her brand new Skateboard with a vengeance. It has been sleeping in the cupboard for a year. A gift from my sister for her 5th birthday on her request. Shes growing up too fast for me and talking the talk and walking the walk! "You know what a ramp is Amma? You don't? Its an inclined plane!!", she told me yesterday! *gulp* I know I have always been telling her, "Use your words, Ashu! Use your words!" for everything! But the other day she did and how! Antu kept on kicking her under the table when they were eating dinner. Ashu told her to stop repeatedly but Antu would nt listen. So she says, "Whats the point, Antu? Why are you kicking me? Whats the point?" I swear I choked on my tea!

Another one flies the coop.

Today was Antu's first day at play school. I was in tears in the morning. I felt pathetic for being so upset. God only knows how my mom let us go live in hostels and then let us get married! I dont remember being so upset when Ashu started school because she cried so much and took so much time to settle down that I had no time to think about my feelings. But Antu has been so excited and talking about this school non stop the last one month. "I am going to play school. My friend D is there.", she has repeating this a million times to anyone who would listen. After loads of deliberation, we as usual settled on a English speaking play school because of the comfort factor. And Antu will be starting two days a week to begin with. After dropping Ashu, Hd and I drove with Antu to her new school. We went in and I changed Antus shoes and she walked in. I was talking to the care givers for a few minutes, took a few pics and said bye to Antu. She waved to me and her dad and continued playing in the toy kitchen. I drove home and wondered about the point of my life staring at blank walls! One of the teachers called at 10.15 am to let me know that alls well and Antu is having fun. I cant believe Hd did nt think to hide the kitchen knives today!

So that Antu does nt feel bad, Im doing the same style of update as I did for Ashu.

What was playing in the car?

Antu's favorite "Kangal Irandaal". Hd switched on the music and this song started playing. We reached the school just when the song ended.

What was Antu wearing?

Ashu's old pants and a new full sleeve cream color top her dad bought her from London. Ashu's old sneakers and pink jacket.

What was she most excited about?

That she was going to "school" and that she is going to see D there.

What did she eat?

Milk, toast and quark at home for breakfast.

What was in her snack box?

The school gave her snacks. She said she ate bread and black colour nut!

Where is she schooling? Why this school?

Oooh! My chance to say that she's schooling in Switzerland! :) Its a small and sweet play school which is nearby and recommended by many friends.

How is Antu taking to School?

Like how I take to Jalapeno Poppers! Err.. like duck to water, I meant to say!

The day before first day of school.

It was a Sunday. Antu could nt understand "tomorrow" and insisted she wanted to go to school "now"!

The one thing that was more difficult than picking out the school itself.

Sigh! Dropping Antu and coming back to an empty house.

What I found most disturbing?

I called my mom after coming home and she did nt say "there! there!". Instead lectured me how to use my time when Antu is away! Cruella de Vil would have been more sympathetic, I tell you! hmph! Thankfully, my dad knew exactly how I felt and told me what a big mistake I have made by sending Antu to school. That felt good. :)

I picked up Antu at noon and she happily said bye to everyone, wore her shoes and followed me. This one just exists to break my heart. One tiny piece at a time.

What do you do all day long?

Thankfully I don't get the above question a lot. People are generally wary around me, I guess. But to answer that question, some days are so relaxing. The Sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Antu takes 3 hours naps and Ashu gets picked up by a friend after school and I have a relaxing, long day reading a book or surfing the net or watching TV. Amidst the housework, of course. And then there are other days. Like the day when I had to drop Ashu at 8.30 am, come back home, get myself and Antu ready, leave for the school again at 10 am for the assembly where Ashu and co were dancing, then come back home, get lunch for us both, clean up, then go back to school at 3 pm to pick up Ashu and her friend. Drive to a birthday party with them. Drop the kids off and get some groceries done. Go back and pick them up. Drop the other girl at her place. Come home and its already 7 pm. Get dinner ready, feed the kids, bed time routine, clean the house and then get something to eat for myself. And before I know its almost midnight and I'm still scrubbing the kitchen counter! I realize I ve spent most of the day driving! Its time I get a drivers uniform and call Ashu, "Madam", I guess!

And some other day when Antu has gymboree, Ashu has school, I have a lunch to go to, Hd is traveling, Ashu is bringing her friend to our house after school,... and its crazy fitting everything in one day and dragging Antu everywhere. But yesterday was the pits. Murphy would ve been really proud! So the morning went well. Ashu in school and Antu and I at home. Wednesdays are early finish for Ashu and usually Antu cant nap those days because I have to leave the house just before 2 pm. Even if she's asleep, I pick her up and by the time I get to the car, shes awake. Yesterday was the same. She had a late lunch and was in full form and not a little bit sleepy. Around 2 pm, we go to the school to pick up Ashu and her friend A who was coming home with us. So far so good. Around 3 pm, things start going downhill.

* Ashu is extremely tantrummy. Shes behaving very badly.

* Antu is a like a wrecking ball creating havoc where ever shes going and whatever shes touching.

* Poor A is clueless whats happening in this crazy household.

* I ask Antu to nap. She refuses.

* I ask Ashu to be nice to her friend and play with her. She refuses.

* I get snacks ready for the girls.

* Around 4.30 pm, I lose my patience and take Ashu to a room and yell at her so badly that shes howling.

* Antu meanwhile has made such a mess in one of the rooms that I take her aside and yell at her as well. Now shes howling too.

* Around 5 pm, I say enough is enough and get Ashu ready for the swim class which is at 5.30 pm. Pack up Antu and with A, get into the car. The idea is to drop A and then go the pool since the pool is very near A's house.
* The GPS does nt get started and I'm worried. I go in the general direction of the pool hoping the GPS will come alive in a while and lead us to A's house.

* Meanwhile Antu has fallen asleep! uh ho.

* We are almost near the pool and the GPS is still silent. I park the car on the curb and pray to all Gods. Thankfully, it comes alive. Phew.

*I drop A and rush to the pool. Its already 5.30 pm.

* Park the car, put the sleeping child in my shoulder, carry the bag and run inside with Ashu. 2 sets of stairs and 2 doors later, we are inside the dressing area. Ashu cooperates fully, changes and one more flight of stairs later, we are in the shower area. Ashu again showers by herself and I leave her with the teacher. Usually I hang around by the side while Antu plays in the kiddie pool since the class is only for 30 mins. But today I tell the teacher I ll be back and go back to the dressing rooms. The bench is not too comfy so I sit on the bottom most stair with Antu on my shoulder. Lets say I was only missing a disposable cup in front of me. Would ve made quite a bit of money if I had a cup since everyone who crossed gave a me a pity smile!!

* One of the class moms arrived in a while and said she ll bring Ashu to me after shes done. Long live her!

* I was playing carrot harvest in my phone. Could nt even call Hd since there was no network. and then the phone dies on me!!!! (Good move, Murphy!) And Im thinking to myself, "Ashu better give Michael Phelps a run for his money or else..."

* Ashu finishes her class, takes a shower and comes to me. We go to the dressing room and by this time Antu has opened her eyes but is cranky and crying. By this time, I cant feel my right hand because it has fallen off somewhere! I plonk her on the bench and help Ashu dry her hair and change her. Then I see that theres a door right next to the dressing area which directly goes to the car park. Hallelujah! Don't ve to struggle two flights of stairs. So we go out only to realize that I ve left the entry ticket card in the locker door itself! And these doors cannot be opened from outside. ARGH!

* 2 more flights of stairs again with a crying Antu and a whiny Ashu. I ask the receptionist if she can bring my card but she tells me I ve to go myself and gives me a temp card. At least I found the card. And I go back to give the temp card, thank her and walk out. Its already 6.30 pm and I have a farewell party to go to at 7.00 pm!

* You want me to stop now, don't you? Well I wanted it to stop too. But it did nt. So hear me out.

* As soon as I start the car, I see the tank is almost empty. I panic. Pray to all Gods and somehow reach the gas station near our house. I fill the tank, ask Ashu to wait in the car and that I ll be back in 2 minutes, lock the car and go inside to pay. Ashu can see me through the glass door. So can I. Of course, there have to be 4 people in front of me all buying their entire weeks groceries at a GAS STATION! I keep an eye out at the car and signal to Ashu. Then my turn comes and I pay. I come out to see that the car door is wide open and Ashu standing outside and she's crying! Right by the side of a busy road! I was so shocked that I go speechless for a second. There are a few people staring at the scene. I quickly bundle Ashu inside and ask what the heck does she think shes doing? She could nt see me when I was paying, got worried (because I was out of her sight for TWO SECONDS!), took off her seat belt, climbed to the drivers seat, unlocked the doors, opened the door, climbed outside, did nt know whether to leave Antu and come and get me so she started crying. Because she was scared! I banged my head against the wheel, told her how dangerous her move was which made her cry more, of course. Then hugged her and drove home.

* Hd was home. Murphy took pity on me, I guess. About time, I say! I quickly changed, gave the shorter version of my day to Hd and left the house to attend a school mom's farewell party. It was at a friends place and a dance party at that. "Munni badnaam hui" many times and for the first time in my life, I wished I drank!

So come on all you SAHMs. Tell me the worst day of your mommy life.(Leave a link or write in the comment section.) Parul had the By the Water Cooler contest for the working types. Let us have some fun too. May be I ll consider the working moms stories too if its really, really bad! ;) No prizes vrizes because I'm no celebrity author. But I got two shoulders you can cry on!

Whoever said that "Giving birth is the easiest part of Motherhood", show me your feet please. *does saashtaanga namaskaram*

Deepavali.

Every year, I get the blues on this day if I am out of India. This year is no exception. I try to make this day as exciting as possible for the kids but if theres no prospect of going out of the house bright and bushy tailed even before the sunrise and burst crackers, whats the point of getting up early and dressing up, pray tell? Nevertheless, I took Ashu and Antu out shopping yesterday and let them choose their new dresses. Ashu loved the experience and felt all grown up. I made Double ka Meetha sweet which Ashu and Antu refused to even try and Diamond biscuits which did nt even live to see daylight because Antu thought that that was dinner! Getting up early has never been a problem in this household. For the kids, I mean. So they got up around 5.30 am and came to our bed. And instead of swatting them away and curling up in my duvet like I always do, I yelled "Happy Deepavali" and got up much to their collective shock! But it was just the beginning. When I heated up some oil and massaged their hair with it, they crinkled their nose because of the strong smell and Antu who on regular days hates water in her hair, glared a "dont you dare at this time of the day!" look at me. Ashu was all whiny too. For a minute, I wondered what the whole point is! Ashu has school. Hd has office. As usual. What am I going to achieve by doing all this? Then I let out a deep sigh and decided I am not letting go of this tradition. Never. Its one of the strongest memories for me and if I close my eyes I can smell the arappu, nallennai and all the smoke form the burst crackers and sparklers. I did what any self respecting mother would do. "Do you guys know you can eat as many sweets as you want today? You can even eat your gummy vites first and then drink your milk, Ashu!" Bribe. Nothing works like bribe. Ashu could nt believe her ears. "Really, Amma? Wow!" And Antu who has never eaten a piece of chocolate until today and thinks that chocolates are "dirty" decided to change her mind and try one. Welcome to the big bad world of chocolates, my dear girl! If not on Deepavali, then when? Bathing, dressing up, etc.. were all done on fast forward with minimum crying by Antu. I decided to make Hd feel special too by making Pongal and Chutney and the man does nt know what hit him! Hes off to drop Ashu in school now. (Did nt I tell nothing works like bribe? ;) Parents, Sis, Bil and a special friend called to wish and now at 9 am, it does feel a little like Deepavali with my damp hair, the fragrance of incense sticks and candles lingering in the air, our new dresses with a touch of kungumam in them and a very tempting dabba of double ka meetha.

Wishing you all a wonderful, wonderful Deepavali!

O Re Kaanchi...

Ashu danced on stage for the first time on Saturday. It was a group dance with 5 other girls. I had never thought that Ashu will ever climb a stage, least of all dance in the near future. Shes extremely self conscious. So when a month back, an Indian school mom suggested a group dance by the kids, I reluctantly signed up Ashus name and was ready to accept Ashus decision if she wanted to quit. On the first day of practice, I wanted to beg her to quit because she was err.... not graceful. (And Im being kind here.) Another mom and I were the choreographers and I was cursing Hd for passing on the two left feet gene to our daughter! (of course, hes to be blamed!) She was also the youngest in the group. Us two moms were exhausted after every practice what with making 6 precocious kids dance to our tunes and not to mention all their younger siblings wandering around and distracting everybody at every turn! But we did it somehow. Ashu slowly progressed from not-dancing to exercising to partial-dancing. Grace is a long time away but Im not complaining. ( Cute little girls in cute little outfits! Whats there to complain about? ) I am so proud that she did nt quit. That she cooperated so nicely during practice. That though she was the youngest, she acted mature. That she remembered all the steps. That she made friends. But most of all, that she had fun and enjoyed herself.

Since the successful performance,the choreographers decided to milk the situation and make the group perform the same dance in two more events next month. As long as its not a dance competition, we have nothing to worry. ;)