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June 27, 2022

27.06.2022

 Dearest Antu,

Time flies like it always does. It also shows us what really matters. When I sit to write these birthday posts every year, it makes me think of the all important milestones and happy memories and reminds me to be grateful. And also to be in denial about all the things that should nt matter but still does. But hey, progress not perfection, right? You are fourteen today and I am still trying to adjust that you are a teen! You can be a total baby one minute and a mature old soul the next. Cuddling one moment and banging the door the next. Being silly and goofing around and then all emotional and upset. We spoil you rotten and in return you make us fell that we are your whole world. Your father dances to your every tune and you both belong to a secret club of two where I am not allowed. Who wants to belong in this silly club anyway? Im not at all jealous! We both have lot of fun together doing umpteen things without the rest of the family. You are my favorite car passenger. And my favorite person to cook for because you enjoy your food and never fail to compliment. Are you sure you are not adopted?

You have completed one year of secondary school and has made new friends. And that has been a total relief. I used to think you are more social than your sister but things have been hard in that department as you have become reserved and quiet in the past couple of years. Are nt school years supposed to be all about friends? Guess you and your sister take it quite seriously and actually learn! I thought Ashu had high expectations for herself but she has mellowed a bit in high school. You are a menace though! Anything less than a perfect grade and you fall apart. I am exhausted giving you pep talks and making you feel secure about yourself. And to accept life as it is. Let me say this again. You are smart. Believe in yourself. You are thriving in all things music. You play piano like a dream. Pick up carnatic songs with ease and music theory is something you love too. Never lose the interest. Just keep at it even when things plateau. Challenge yourself and don’t forget to enjoy the process. You are barely hanging onto swimming and tennis and am glad you are doing something sport related even though you are not a fan. Your father really wants you to take up running and join him in his weekly runs. Lets see if this is the year. Go on and make your old man happy, why don’t you?

We took care of our neighbors small dog off and on this year and you totally fell in love with the little one and took care of the dog with so much love and affection. It was heart breaking to say bye to the dog each time and you have upped your nagging about getting a dog of our own. It would tug at my heartstrings but unfortunately I have none! I really really wish we could. But its not practical so Im against it. But at times I feel I should give in. Believe me when i say that no one likes to have a dog more than me in this household. So lets see if the universe conspires.  Your sister hooked you into Marvel movies as well and its the one thing uniting all four of us in the household right now. Books have been bought. Cake themes have been done. Endless discussions have been had. Its fun to have something in common with the resident youth. Thanos is your favorite character much to your sisters annoyance but still she made a Thanos cake for your birthday this year. You both fight like crazy sometimes but also giggle over silly things. You want to emulate her in every way and she pretends to tolerate you. Its unbearable sometimes when you both are at it but while the bad times are bad, the good times are very good. So there.

Mistress of questions, that’s what you are at this age. You love to know everything about everyone. Right from favorite color to the deepest darkest secret. Its so easy to talk to you. You hardly judge and even if you say something hurtful, you are quick to apologize and own your mistakes and make the necessary changes. Which is a phenomenal character trait to have, according to me. And it comes so easily for you. Your emotional maturity astounds me sometimes. You are very clear in your beliefs and at the same time, willing to listen to the other side. I wish I could be as empathetic as you. I sometimes get upset with you for no reason. I overcompensate for your sisters indifference. Blame you for stupid things. But I hope and pray I have nt killed the spirit in you. I am genetically obligated to take your side against the world but you make it look like the right choice and I thank you for making my life easier. Go forth and flourish and I wish life is kind to you in all the ways I am not. Happy 14th Birthday, Thangamma!

Love,

அம்மா.

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