R.I.P Lulu, the Fish.

Sometime around July last year, Ashu walked to the nearby pond with her friend and came back all excited with a tiny little fish in a plastic cup. My immediate reaction was "Go back and leave the fish back in the pond right now!" But I want Lulu as my pet, Amma, begged Ashu. Any parent out there knows that once the kids have named something, we as well give up. So I put the fish in a flower vase and the doting dad took the girls to a pet shop to buy fish food. Ashu tried to ask me if she can get another fish since Lulu was lonely but I told her she has to choose if she wants me or another fish. And thankfully, she chose me! I had my doubts, to be honest.

In the beginning, I really felt bad about this little fish who was happily swimming in the pond with his family and now swimming in circles in a tiny vase. I even told Ashu how he misses his family and how his dad is looking for him and she should go and put him back in the pond but she rolled her eyes and told me, "This is not a movie, Amma. And its just a fish!" She also went on about how people eat fish and she's only keeping one as a pet! So I kept quiet. Hd cleaned the vase every week and changed the water. We added some pebbles to the vase. Everyday we had to remind Ashu to feed Lulu. ("peru vachiye, soru vachiye" moment*!) Months passed. Lulu survived a few weekends without us. Lulu survived the house move. Lulu stayed at a neighbors for 10 days when we were vacationing in December. And everyday I used to wonder how long does a pond fish so small would live.

Some days I even threatened Ashu that I will take Lulu back to the pond if she is not responsible. Every time she nagged us to buy her a dog, I used to say "You can't even take care of a tiny little fish." Antu used to stand near the fish and talk to him or show him off to her friends and over feed him. Except for feeding him twice a day, most of the time we even forgot his existence. And then eight months later, he died. Yesterday. I gave an involuntary scream when I found him dead and like a chain reaction, Ashu ran away to her room while Antu ran towards the fish. Both of them cried unconsolably and even I was choking a bit. Ashu did nt want to see Lulu again, did nt walk to talk about him or say goodbye. On the other hand, Antu wanted to know how he died, what we are going to do with him and whats going to happen to all the fish food! 

We gave him a proper burial outside our apartment. Antu was so sad that she could nt celebrate his first birthday. We called Hd and Antu cried her heart out to him while Ashu refused to talk to him. Antu also broke the news to her grand parents and aunt while Ashu refused to talk to them. "I just don't want to talk about him or remember him because it makes me sad", was her logic. Sigh. Anyway we went about our day and whenever we looked at the empty vase, we went silent. The house was too quiet and I don't know how its even possible. I have always had dogs while growing up and felt incredibly sad when each one of them died. But I never thought the death of a tiny little fish could bring so much sadness.

I talked to the girls about my dogs, how futile life is and how we should enjoy every minute, etc.. and gave them the whole spiel about being nice to each other. A mom has to milk every opportunity with a life lesson, no? Antu of course is one up on me when it comes to milking opportunities. At one vulnerable moment, she asked me in a sad voice, "Can we watch Finding Nemo today, Amma?"

* you named him but did you feed him? (but it rhymes in Tamil! :)

The One in Which Ashu Loses Her First Tooth.

Just when I started to focus on Antu again, Ashu had to lose her first tooth and steal her thunder! The much awaited milestone arrived finally this weekend! Ashu has been really impatient the last one year seeing all her friends lose their teeth one by one and her's were nt even wobbly. Around 6 months back, she was thrilled to announce that one of her lower front tooth is teeny-weeny wobbly even though I could nt feel a thing. More like wishful thinking, I assumed. A couple of months back, I did see it wobble a bit and we were all eagerly waiting for the big day! Two days back I saw a new tooth sprouting behind the wobbly one and it looked really weird. By this time, the wobbly tooth was hanging by a thread so to speak and I asked Ashu if I can pull it. "No way!, she screamed. She wanted the tooth to fall while in school so that she can go to the nurse and get a cute little box to put it in. I wanted it to fall while shes home because I wanted to witness the grand event, of course! And finally when it did fall, it had to be on a Saturday while she was attending a birthday party and I was nt even there! A friend dropped her home after the party and Ashu was all excited to show something and while I was thinking that it was some cool return gift, it was her tooth! awww... I had to blink back tears. It does hit you, this losing the baby tooth business! sigh!

Before you ask what the tooth fairy gave her, let me answer you. The child does nt believe in fairies. I told her that she ll get a gift only if she believes in them but nothing could shake her resolve.

How do you know, Ashu? They may be real. Try putting the tooth under the pillow and see.

Amma! Its the parents who give the gift. Not the fairy! And I need the tooth. I want to take it to school on Monday.

You believe in Krishna, dont you?

Yes. But he is GOD. Not a fairy! Also I saw a tooth fairy book in the fiction section in the library. It means its not real!

Check and mate.

I found the box with the tooth safely tucked in her school bag. Decided to surprise her and put a CHF 5 coin in it. She found it this morning and came and thanked me. I told her thats an advance amount for all her teeth and she is nt getting any more money. "But Amma! The upper tooth is bigger. You need to give more money for it when it falls down." Holy guacamole! I need to plant a book on money in the fiction section right now!

Kung Fu Panda 2.

Ashu's KG graduation gift was a movie - Kung Fu Panda 2. I was thrilled to go for a movie with her. Though her first movie was Toy Story 3 last year, she watched it with my Bil. So this was our first time to the big screen together. Naturally, I was making a big deal and she did nt care! The news spread and more moms and kids joined our plan. At the end, we were 4 moms and 9 kids. Hd could nt believe we were leaving him and Antu and going on Father's day but we reminded him that every day is fathers day and we don't believe in all this marketing scam! Mother's day is almost a year away. So he ll forgive and forget, Im hoping! ;)

Armed with 3D glasses and a pick-your-own-sweets bag (madam does nt believe in popcorn, the ultimate movie companion!) she walked to the dark screen and plonked herself in between two of her friends while I stood and glared at her! "Do you want to sit here, Ashu?", I managed to squeak. "No, Amma! I'm going to sit here!", came the prompt reply. hmph! I could have just dropped her at the entrance and gone home, I guess! The ungrateful child! Anyway, we loved the movie. Even though there were nt many laugh-aloud scenes, Ashu seemed to be laughing whenever Po was on screen! The 3D experience also enhanced the movie and the animation was just breathtaking. The colors were just brilliant. I could nt take my eyes off. I wanted to pause each scene and look at every little detail. What an effort! Lord Shen, the peacock was my favorite! ( But he seemed too stiff when he was walking. No offence to the Dreamworks team, but I have never seen a peacock walk without moving his long neck. Thats the classic movement of the peacock, is nt it? May be Lord Shen had a botox or something? ;)

After the movie, Ashu said that she liked this better than Toy Story. (Come on, Pixar! Do something!) I asked her if she understood the story and she said she did. "But I did nt understand one thing, Amma. What is Inner Peace?" Err.... A profound question indeed! But I expect no less from Ashu. "You know how Amma is on a school day morning, Ashu? When you cant find your water bottle and Antu refuses to drink her milk and your dad is on a phone call and I'm making tea and breakfast and lunch and trying to comb your hair all at the same time?" "Yes....", Ashu gulped. "Well. Inner peace is exactly the opposite!", I declared. She, of course, did not get it. But I found inner peace alright, even if it lasted only a minute! :)

Yathaa Sthaanam.

Sanskrit for "in its own place". I love the word. It fits us gypsies perfectly.

So much happened the past 4 weeks and I have duly forgotten what I wanted to write in the chaos of the past 2 days trying to settle into our routine. Its tough when the house is like an igloo and the daily chores beckon.

I remember this one incident which happened in Madras and I ll leave you with that. So we were coming back form Mahabalipuram and Hd wanted to get a cup of coffee and we stopped at the Cafe Coffee Day. We waited in the car while he went in. Ashu who is an avid reader these days read the name.

"Coffee coffee day? Thats funny!"

"Read whats written below, Ashu".

"A lot can happen over coffee?"

"Good Job."

"But what does it mean, Amma? What can happen?"

As always I gave my ready response. "You tell me, Ashu. Take a guess."

"Hmmm... The coffee can spill. Or the cup can break."

"ha ha ha"

"Am I right?"

"Absolutely!"

First Day First Show.

Let the records show that today while Ashu was really unwell and running a high temperature and taking a long nap in the evening, the father of the said sick girl sneaked out of the house to watch the first day first show of Enthiran and hes not even a Rajini fanboy!

You thought I would let this one go, Hd? *insert evil laughter* My sis and I have never ever let my dad forget the fact that he was watching a cricket match in a different city while our mom was in labor. This is Ashus trump card. Use it well, my dear.

ps.

Hd's records might show that we tossed a coin to decide who goes and who stays but lets focus on whats important, shall we? I was home. He was NOT. ;)

Appappa!

Hd called this morning and Ashu yelled, "I want to talk to Appa, I want to talk to Appa" and snatched the phone from me.

Ashu: Hello!
Hd: Hello Baby!
Ashu: Hi Appa! We can't talk to you right now because we are all going camping. Chula and Mieja are also coming. We are packing now and we are busy. Bye!

I could hear Hd's heart breaking into hundred pieces all the way here. Sorry, dear. She does miss you. In her own way! ;)

Lost & Found.

Jamadu is Antus favorite stuffed toy. He is a monkey. (Orangutan, I think.) In spite of me forcing Ashu to have a favorite toy when she was a baby, it did nt happen. Shes just not materialistic enough. But thankfully Antu is just like me and loves stuffed animals. But not everything, mind you. She has specific taste. When she was about a year old, we went to a department store and "Jamadu" is the stores mascot for the children's section. There were stuffed Jamadu toys and Antu picked one. I let her keep it for while and when we went near the check out, she would nt give it back. Hd and I thought it was so cute and bought her the monkey. She started hugging him to sleep and he became her best friend. I think "Jamaadhoo" was one of her first words!

When Antu went to India with her dad in October, I packed Jamadu along with her things. When they got back after a week, I noticed Jamadu did nt come back! I was horrified! Hd, needless to say, was clueless. "Are you sure you packed Jamadu", he asked! I was furious. I was thinking it will be with my mom but forgot to ask her. A week later, while I was talking to my mom I mentioned Jamadu. And she was like "OH NO"! "What mom? what did you do to the damn monkey?", I panicked. "I thought the airlines gave it to Antu. He looked so ugly and did nt think you would want it. Just yesterday I gave it to my cousins grandchild." And she went on to blame me. "What were you doing all these days? Why did nt you tell me earlier?" Yes, Its all my fault. By the way, ugly? Did she say UGLY? My mom was devastated that she has done this to her grand daughters favorite toy and told me that she ll go and ask my aunt to give the toy back. I absolutely forbade her from doing that. "Its OK, Mom. I ll buy another one if Antu misses him. Don't take it back from the poor child", I told her. But then who listens to me these days? When my mom came here in November, what do you think was the first thing she took out of her suitcase? Jamadu was back! (And my nephew in India is going to be scarred for life. Poor boy!)

Antu and Jamadu were reunited and all was well with the world. He traveled with her everywhere. This Tuesday, Antu and I went grocery shopping and I made the mistake of showing her a smaller version of the Jamadu in the store. She shrieked and held him close and would nt let him go. This one was small and had magnets in his palms and looked so cute too! I did nt want to to buy him though. So tried to distract her with other things but she would nt budge. I wanted to test a theory and showed her every toy in the store and asked her if she wanted it. She would say yes and take it in her hands but when I asked to give Jamadu back, she would nt but give the other toy back. She did this for a stuffed elephant, giraffe, teddy bear, hello kitty,... "Kutti Jamadu", she even named him. Oh ho! This is trouble, I told myself. Hd called up that same moment and I consulted with him. He being the doting father asked me to buy it for her. I gave in and bought him. We came home and she ran to get her Jamadu and introduced Kutti Jamadu to him. It was like the last scene of "Yaadon ki Baaraat"!!

Fate had different plans though. On Wednesday, Antu insisted on taking Jamadu with her when we went to the gym. I reluctantly agreed. Left her at the kids care and went to the gym. An hour later, I go to pick her up and the bright orange guy is missing! I searched everywhere but could nt find him. The caretakers there did nt know either. And they did nt understand when I said "monkey" and brought me a barbie and after all this time here, I did nt know what the German word for monkey was! (Its Affe, btw.) Antu just kept repeating Jamadu, jamadu but had no idea where she left him. I was so sad. Came home and Antu ran to get Kutti Jamadu and showed me and told "Here he is!" The spoilt brat! Called Hd, my sister, my mom and shared this major Earth shattering event. Ashu came from school and she was hugely disappointed with Antu at her irresponsible behaviour. Even went on to tell me, "You should nt have let her take him to the gym, Amma.This is why I don't take any toys to my school"! Who needs a Mil when you have a daughter like this? I was hoping that some child took it home by mistake and give it back the next day. Antu went to sleep with Kutti Jamadu that night.

The monkey motivated me to go the gym the next day. As soon as we entered the kids care, the lady there came running to us, took Jamadu from the shelf and gave it to Antu! I think I was more happy than Antu! :) The lady said that he was in the ball pit. Deep down. Phew. I wisely kept him in my bag, said bye to Antu and left to the gym. Yaadon Ki Baaraat- Part 2 (or "Naalai Namadhe" if you prefer! but seriously?) happened when we came home. Phone calls were made to share the happy news. Ashu was back to being proud of us. Hd came home in the evening and we all burst out the happy news to him. "He was in the ball pit? Did you wash him?", was his immediate response. (Avan avanakukku, avan avan prachnai*! Pasupathis dialogues are immortal, I tell ya!) So thats the tail end of the story!

*That, that person. Their, their worry.

Anti-jinx.

It has been more than a year since Antu was sleep trained. So she goes to sleep on her own in her crib and wakes up again only in the morning.(To Hd - This is not boasting. Just blogging. I know. I know. Its all the same.) There has not been one night in this period where she has woken up in the middle of the night. And all was well with the world. And then one night recently, she started crying uncontrollably around 2 am. Hd went to her room to pat her but she just would nt stop crying. So he brought her to our bed but she would nt quieten down even then. Then I put her on my chest and she stopped crying. She went to sleep in a few minutes. Hd transferred her to the crib again. And then she got up at 8 am the next day. We were really wondering what disturbed her sleep. She had a bit of a cough and Hd was blaming it on the cold. But I had a different theory.

Me - I think it was a jinx.
Hd - What do you mean?
Me - The other day this friend went aahh oohh over our kids sleeping habits.
Hd - *in an accusatory tone* who asked you to go and boast?
Me - First of all, I did nt boast. She asked if they sleep on their own and through the night and I said a simple yes.
Hd - You could ve underplayed it.
Me- Look. I cant lie about the kids like you do. And most importantly, I dont believe in this evil eye business.
Hd - You dont? *smirks*
Me - I dont, ok? I was just thinking aloud about the coincidence, thats all.
Hd - But you did think about it that way, right?
Me - Dude! You are my husband! I will tell you whatever goes through my mind and you cant judge me!
Hd - Thats what you will say. And then you will go blog about it and tell the whole world!
Me - No, I wont!

Oops.

Happy Holidays!

Just because we are a non believer does nt mean we wont go see him and eat the candy cane he gave. Like mommy like daughter, I guess. For all the "theres no God" lectures I gave while I was young, that did nt stop me eating Puliyodarai at the perumal kovils, did it? ;)


Happy Christmas, guys! We are off for the vacation from the vacation tomorrow. See you all in the brand new year. Wishing everyone all things wonderful in 2010!