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If you have been reading this blog and think that I am a controlling wife and have a darling husband, have we met? No? You came to this conclusion entirely by reading my blog? Really? There! I have screwed up yet again! And this time we have nt even met and I have done the damage!

The root of my character assassination started even before I was born. Three years prior to my birth to be exact. That’s when my sister came into this world! From kindergarten to 5th standard, I was the geek’s sister. The geek who topped her class all the time, the geek who always won the first prize in elocution and essay competitions, the geek who won in dance and drama competitions too! So every teacher wanted me to be like the geek. The only times I climbed on the stage and won prizes were consolation/participation certificates.(I ve truckloads of them! No one can say I did nt try!) Also the times my sis passed out of the school and was still receiving prizes and I climbed the stage to receive them on her behalf! I was very proud of her! Did I mention I was also very naive then? Not so much later because I started becoming jealous! There was always comparison. She the outgoing, me the reserved. She the genius, me the dumbo. She the honesty-reincarnated, me the lying brat! She the school topper, me the just-pass. She the responsible, me the unruly,.. The list goes on! But being the youngest has its own perks and I thrived on those!

I thought I would find some solace when I joined a different school in 6th standard. But little did I realize that this world is full of geeks! Did you have a gal in your class who was neither the topper nor a dumbass? Who was teachers pet but not popular among girls? Whose hand was always on the air ready with an answer, a miss know-it-all? Always a group leader but never the class leader? Who had a different close friend each year? Well, well, well - we went to the same school after all! Yes, that’s me! Just when the teachers think I am a bright student, I ll flunk in an exam. Just when the girls think I’m out of the competition, I ll bounce back with a 100% in Math. I surprised myself more than the others, actually! And my dad signed my report cards without any fuss every time! (One of the aforementioned perks!) Thus ended 3 years and we moved to a different town. I can start afresh. I can get a new attitude. I will use my charm and become popular in this school. I ll lose my half-baked character. One month into my new school with my new alter-ego and God plays a cruel joke on me. The geek sister had to join the same school after topping the school, street, town, district, etc... in her SSLC exams! In a minute, she becomes the darling of the school and me - the infamous geek’s sister! 2 years of this shit and she passes her 12th board exams with yet another district first in her pocket and a big lump in my stomach! (The lump came out only after a decade along with Ashu!)

The next two years were nt so bad except that I found my close friend, Vee in a geek! Also, she had a brand new bike! (Sunny!) We became the inseparables. She was the darling of the class. The generous, helping, sharing girl while I was the selfish, snotty, "what does Vee see in her" girl! The fact that I won’t share my homework with anyone and that I would report anyone copying in the exams did nt get me much votes. (The fact that I copied from Vee during the exams notwithstanding!)

Then came 3 years of undergrad. Every time I vowed to myself that I would turn a new leaf and be different this time and be the darling. But the geeks beat me to it everywhere. Our group was always the popular one in the school/college but as an individual I always came in 2nd, 3rd or sometimes 47th. No one can say I did nt chose my friends wisely. Staying in a hostel was a new experience. But if you don’t share your lemon pickle, you are out of the league! You will never become the hostel representative or the class rep. But at least I got to finish the whole bottle of pickle all by myself! Not everyone who has stayed in a hostel can say that about themselves, can they?

Post-grad! At last God took mercy on me and clouded my dad’s judgment and made him agree to let me go to a co-ed college. Boys loved me. I knew I should ve studied in a co-ed school all along. I hate you dad for wasting a decade of my life trying to win over girls. Never knew boys were so easy. All I had to do was talk to them and I was treated like a princess. The fact that I talked to all the boys made me a bitch but this time in a completely different context. I did nt care. I was popular!

Then came the most important phase of any women’s life! Marriage. If you lose here, you are doomed. I knew that. I had learnt that lesson all my life and from my sis's life too. So I was treading carefully. During the entire 10 months of our engaged period, it worked beautifully. I could see a change in myself. I was proud of myself. HD felt blessed. The moment we get married, out comes the monster in me and HD absolutely becomes the nightmare of my life. The quiet, never gets angry, putting up with monsters type of a guy! And the whole world comes to know of it in a matter of seconds. Every one who knows me sympathizes with HD and everyone who knows HD says I am lucky to get a guy like him. Where were you people before we got married? Even people who we hardly know and new friends get the message. Husband - sweet. Wife - controlling. If the roles were reversed, no one even gives a thought about it. That’s normal.

I did nt even try this time. I knew it was bound to happen. People have already started saying "Poor Ashu". The fact that I can't even win against something which came out of my tummy (along with a lump) proves what I am trying to say all this while - I am like this only!