Walking in the Rain.

Ashu is dressed in a white and green checkered shorts with a flower print. A white and pink lacy top with flowers and butterfly print. Pink Dora shoes and a colorful head band. And oh, ear rings. Shes all of 26 months old. And the Doctors assistant takes a look and asks me "boy or a girl?" Its an insult, I say!

Ashu got two shots today, second dose of MMR vaccine and the Meningococcal vaccine. She let out a scream and then quietened down when I told her I ll put a Dora plaster when we get home. (And she made sure I changed the plaster when we got home.) It started raining heavily when I was about to leave the Doctors office. I had one umbrella with me. I decided to wait for a while. I was getting hungry as I had nt had my breakfast. So I sat on the floor outside the exit door and rummaged my handbag to find a box of Ashus colorful fishie biscuits. We both started munching on them. Theres something about watching the rain through the glass door and munching on snacks with your loved one. As I was thinking about how heavenly that moment was, Ashu accidentally dropped the biscuits and they scattered on the floor. So I was cleaning up while giving dirty looks at Ashu and she has the gall to ask me for more biscuits. Evil incarnated! I decided to brave the rain and go home. I let Ashu hold the umbrella and I held the top while pushing the stroller. She was quite thrilled to go in the rain and to hold the umbrella. It took hardly 10 minutesto walk home and while I was fully drenched, she was bone dry! Now if that does nt explain parenthood...

Bitter nothings.

Some time after a fight...

Husband: I am sorry ok? Forgive me.

Wife: I will never forgive you for what you said.

H: I'm saying sorry right?

W: So?

H: Just say I am forgiven.

W: OK you are forgiven.

H: You did nt mean that!

W: How do you know? You asked me to say it and I said it.

H: Mean it.

W: How will you know if I mean it or not? You are not a mind reader. You are definitely not that!

H: I ll know. Say it.

W: No I wont.

H: Don't make me beg. It was just a silly thing.

W: What do you mean by silly?

H: I mean there are lot of other worse, unforgivable things.

W: You mean I should be thankful that you are not doing worse things?

H: I did nt mean that. What I said was stupid OK? Forget it.

W: Only stupid people say stupid things, You want to me to forget you as well?

H: Stop it now. I cant take this anymore.

W: Neither can I.

H: Then you are free to do whatever you want.

W: You don't have to tell me what I can do. I KNOW I can do whatever the hell I want!

H: So basically I should nt tell you anything.

W: At last you get the point.

H: OK I ll shut up.

W: Whatever! That's your answer for everything anyway.

H: But you want me to shut up.

W: As if you always listen to me?

H: Of course I do. *muttering* Ask anyone!

W: Excuse me? I heard that.

H: I mean when have I not listened to you?

W: Only like a million times. I know people think that I have twisted you around my finger and you dance to my tunes! But who knows the reality? When have you ever done anything without a long argument? Only God is a witness for all the problems I go through. To whom can I go and complain about you? Everyone is on your side. Even my stupid parents! I have nobody! *sob sob*

H: I am sorry OK? Forgive me.

W: I will never forgive you for what you said.

H: I'm saying sorry right?

W: So?
.
.
.

ps.
This is a work of fiction. This does NOT happen in Boos household regularly.

Fathers day, car seat, day care...

After a hectic shopping for groceries and stocking the fridge and the kitchen cup boards to last a week, realized that Saturday has flown by. Hds colleague, a single girl, new to Swiss and getting bored living alone invited us over for lunch on Sunday. Poor girl, must be really desperate for company! :) So as soon as we got up today at 10.00 am, I rushed to the kitchen to make some Sabji and rice to take to her house. Shouted at Hd for not waking me earlier and the next second realized that it is Fathers day! :) So wished him with a sheepish grin. Ashu got up a while later(we are still not out of jet lag!) and I gave her a pen and asked her to scribble something in the card I had bought earlier and she gave it to him. Its a funny card which says something like, "Dad, I know you do so much for me... but I totally deserve it!" :) I had also bought a fridge magnet in the US which has Homer Simpson in it and says "Best Dad in the house". Hd growled at me seeing this gift! This man cant take a compliment gracefully! ;) Is nt this a cute gift, people?

Back from the friends house after a hearty lunch. Thanks to the US trip, Ashu sits in her car seat quietly these days while I can sit in the front with Hd for a change. The Nursery Rhymes CD from a friend is of huge help as well. Don't know how long the novelty will last though! Since we take a rental car only during the weekends, she is nt getting used to it here. She drops a book or her doll and asks me to pick it up for her. And as soon as I twist myself and turn to the back and pick it up, she drops something else and asks me to help. I can as well sit at the back for all this twisting and turning. Today, she flung the doll back and it fell into the trunk. And she started crying for the doll. What a drama queen!

We have found a day care for Ashu where the care takers speak English. We checked it out last week and it is okay. Just a place where Ashu can be with other children for a couple of hours. Nothing fancy. If shes out of her jet lag, she might start this week. I cant wait for the Dday. Wondering how she ll react and how everything is going to work out. Most importantly, how I am going to cope with this big step! I am all excited but very much scared at the same time. I mean how do you trust strangers with your BABY? It is indeed going to be a huge milestone for me even if not for Ashu. *sniff sniff*

And the awards go to...

Thanks Art Navy and Utbt for making me walk a few inches above the ground for the past couple of days. Yes, awards do that to me and I have been acting all high and mighty and even avoiding cooking much to Hds concern. Hes waiting for me to come back to Earth.

Trying to come with five people was nt as difficult as I thought it would be as there are so many bloggers I deeply admire and lot more people I would love to tag are already tagged not surprisingly.

Without much ado, the awards go to...

Dubukku - My blog Guru who made me think as much as he made me laugh. How real life simple situations can be described in a totally hilarious way - got to learn from the master! If I live long, it would be thanks to him. Mudhal Vanakkam, Anna! :)

Gauri - According to me, every mommy blogger deserves this award because well... I am a mother and we deserve every recognition which comes our way. And Tharini and Gauri are a huge inspiration and they both are up there in a pedestal for me. I look forward to Gauris posts and to read about her children. Every post leaves a mark on its own and if I am a better mother today, shes definitely one of the reason. Need I say more?

Madura - She writes both in English and Tamil proficiently though her Tamil blog is missing these days. The subject of her posts and the research she does and her thorough knowledge on the subject she deals with make me her ardent fan. Write more, Madura.

Premalatha - When I was new to the blog world and started reading blogs, Lathas posts made me very nostalgic and wished she wrote more. I never thought that one day we will be on first name basis as she was like a celebrity to me. Her strong opinions on some topics make me wish I was nt such a wuss! ;) People like Madura and Latha who write excellently in more than one language leave me with awe as I know how difficult it is to keep writing in both as my sorely neglected Tamil blog will tell you.

Ashok - A writer, an architect, a painter, an artist, a poet, a photographer, a proud father,... His talent amazes me. I hope this award jolts him awake from his hiatus and he writes more often. I miss you Ashok. Or did nt you let me know about your new whereabouts?

If you choose to pass this award on, these are the Thinking Blogger Award rules:
This award was started here.
You have to award five others whose blog you think deserve this award.
Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging.
If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.Please, remember to tag blogs with real merits, i.e. relative content, and above all — blogs that really get you thinking!

Cut to Zurich.

Back in good old Zurich fighting the jet lag and busy unpacking the gazillion things I bought from the US. Ashus wardrobe is brimming with bright and new summer clothes. I hope the summer lasts really long this time! Got some picture frames from Michaels and at last put few of the good photos I have taken to better use. Hence my living room looks a little presentable. I would nt feel too bad to invite people over from now on! ;)

Got to catch up with hundreds of posts, take up a couple of tags and also update on Ashu. And not to forget the photos taken in the new camera as lot of you have asked for. So here I come with a bang. Hang on!

All Good Things...

When Hd arrived last week, it was a total surprise for Ashu as I had not told her that her dad was coming. On Thursday evening, Bil picked up Hd from the airport and came home. We made Ashu stand near the door and she was thinking that her Pepa was coming back from the office. When the door opened and Hd stepped inside, Ashu was so shocked for an instant and we could see her go speechless. Then she started jumping and doing a tribal dance of some sort and then running to her Appa. She said "Appa, Appa" and then stuck to him like glue for the next 2 days. Even her precious Pema was ignored much to my sisters disapproval. Then we left for Las Vegas where Pema ruled again as she was the one who always carried Ashu and also baby sat her in the room while the rest of us gambled away Ashus inheritance! ;)

Vegas exceeded my expectation and we had a swell time. The hotel we stayed was awesome and the service was excellent. We never wanted to leave the room which was in the 25th floor or the jacuzzi in the bathroom. But when we left it and entered the casinos, we never wanted to go back to the room either! We visited almost all the must see casinos like Wynn, Bellagio, Ceasars Palace, Treasure Island, Planet Hollywood, The Venetian, The Mirage, MGM Grand, Luxor, Paris, New york New york, Excalibur, Mandalay Bay, etc... Watched Cirque DuSoleil's Mystere show at the Treasure Island. It was mind blowing. The stage production and the original music and the spectacular performance makes it a must see show in Vegas. We also did the Manhattan Express roller coaster at the New York New york. It was amazing. Then of course gambled until late night at the blackjack and the slot machine. I gathered guts and sat at the blackjack card table and played $5 chips against the dealer. As soon as I got back the $20 I started with, I got up and ran out. It was the more thrilling than the roller coaster ride and I found out how addictive gambling can be. Stayed away from the tables for the rest of the trip. But then I lost some on the machine which was totally worth it! :)

Children under 18 can only pass through the casino floors and should not even linger around. The casinos are completely smoke covered anyway. Ashu took in all the colorful machines, the lights and the noise and could nt figure out what the people were upto. She had fun at the MGM watching the Lions and two newborn cubs. She enjoyed the aquarium, the rainforest cafe and our hotel room. After she slept, three of us sneaked out for some late night gambling. It was like college again. The desert heat was tolerable this time of the year and the free drinks at all the casinos made up for the meagre amount of money we lost there! Not to mention the waitresses who brought the drinks and their barely there costumes!

Hd and I had the best anniversary which began at midnight while we kissed and wished each other under the security camera of a casino. He had given me the Nikon D40 two days earlier. I gave him a cheap card which I just remembered to buy before midnight but did nt have a pen to write! I had told him I will get him a sun glass as he wanted one, but he did nt like anything so the day went without a gift from me! We have hardly unpacked the bags from Vegas and now we have to pack and leave the country.

We are leaving tomorrow to Zurich. There has been a lump in my throat and a sudden heaviness in my heart whenever I think about Ashu saying "Bye" to her Pema and Pepa at the airport and disappearing from their sights. The next second she ll be asking me "Pema illayaa","Pepa illayaa" (No Pema/Pepa?) in a hurt tone and I'm sure I ll have tears in my eyes. I feel as if I am snatching their baby from them and going away. But then, what to do?

Sin City.

Its our wedding anniversary today. And I forgot to buy a gift for Hd. I did nt even get him a card. So last night at 12.00, I gave him a $20 bill and he blew it on the Blackjack machine! Because we are in Las Vegas baby!!!!!

I cant begin to describe this city so I wont. We are taking turns baby sitting Ashu and the rest are gambling away to glory. We are leaving tomorrow and I am already sad! Oh by the way Hd got me this camera for our anniversary! More updates later if I don't gamble away my flight ticket! ;)

Dear Appa,

I know you are coming here tomorrow. Though Amma is keeping it as a surprise for me, I know. Just because I don't ask for you or talk to you on the phone does nt mean that I have forgotten you. I miss you loads and as Amma is telling everyone who has ears, I am not very good at long distance relationships. I am just waiting for you to come here so that we can continue from where we left off. I am having lots of fun here with Pema and Pepa and loads of other people. I am too young to realize that this is temporary. I live in the present. Which is good if you ask me. I don't get all sad like Amma or Pema that times flying and there are only 10 more days remaining in this trip.

Amma says that you wont recognize me at all as I have turned from an adorable angel to a total brat. I think I have grown taller too as I can reach those fridge magnets on the top now. I cant wait to show you all the cool stuff I am doing here. So come soon. It would be nice to have one more man listening to my every whim, so looking forward to it.

Luv,
Ashu.

ps.
I wrote you this letter because as you suspect, theres no scheme going on here to brainwash me in forgetting you. Do you think I ll let these people do such a thing to me? They cant even make me eat, for Gods sake!

Ashus antics at her Aunt's!

I think its high time I write a post when even Hd mails me and asks why there has been no update in my blog for a long time! The reason is that I don't find any time. How you working moms, moms with two kids and other busy SAHMs take time to blog is beyond my understanding! Do you girls ever sleep? At least I am having so much fun here that theres no time to even think about a post. And also I cant complain about my sister in this space as she reads it too! ;) Oh yeah and her house has a pool.

Here's some tit bits about Ashu and how shes spending her time for the past two weeks at my sisters place:

I don't recognize her anymore. I think she knows shes 2 years old and is trying to act her age.

Before as soon as I say "time to change your diaper", she used to run to her room, take a fresh diaper, changing mat and wet wipes and be ready to get her ass wiped. Now she runs to the farthest corner of the house and the chase begins. It takes 10 minutes to catch her, hold her on the mat and change her. She wriggles and wiggles and kicks and screams. This is on a good day.

She has twisted my sis and Bil around her little finger. So much so that right now they would do anything for her.

My Bil's sister had come here last week with her infant and Ashu would nt let my sis or Bil hold the baby. She wanted to be carried too when either of them carried the child and threw a tantrum when they did nt. I was absolutely ashamed of this behaviour though I could nt do anything about it. She was very gentle with the child and missed him when he was nt around and got very close to the baby's mom, Aunt V in just one day. She called her "Athai, athai" dozen times an hour and one time when she went out for shopping, Ashu started crying because Aunt V left her. But hear this! She was OK if I carried the baby though. Go figure!

Ashu has already attended two birthday parties including her own surprise party and theres one more next weekend. I'm eating all the good food I can and Ashu is getting all the balloons and party favors she wants. Its a win win situation since Sis pays for the gifts and drives us around. Now you understand why I have decided not to complain about her, don't you? And all those trips to the parks, of course!

She calls my sister "Pema" and my Bil "Pepa", for Periamma and Periappa which means Big Mom and Big Pop respectively in Tamil. Its always Pema this and Pepa that. She even calls me Pema first before changing it to amma. That's how many times she calls her Pema every day.

Ashu and I are having so much fun and so much social life here that I am wondering whats there in Zurich for me to go back to. Its not like I have a job there or anything, right? Just kidding, Hd!

One day Ashu had fun at a friends place with her two kids and it was a pleasure to watch her with another toddler. Jumping on the bed, playing ball, reading a book, having a make do picnic, kicking her and getting kicked back and playing big sis to the infant by bullying her. I have never seen so many sides of Ashu before. It was a total revelation. This ones no sissy as I thought she was.

Yesterday Ashu had her first of many more to come "falling down from the big bed" accident. During the night she shifted from the middle of the bed, crossed a wide bridge which is me and fell down with a big BANG. Shes going around and saying "Amma pushed me from the bed" to everyone now. Yes, I deserve it!

As if its not enough that Ashu is hooked onto Noddy and Dora, now she has started watching Diego too. Which I learnt is a boys version of Dora. She has switched her loyalties from Dora to "Digogo" now. Typical girl, huh? ;) We don't get Diego in Zurich and my sis is thinking about buying a DVD for Ashu so that she does nt forget him. Remember fingers? Twist? See what I mean? And she was so serious when she said that as if that animated boy is some dear relative. Get a life, Sis!

Yesterday, a fellow blogger and his family who also know my sister were kind enough to drop by. So for the first time, I have met a virtual friend. Hurray! Thanks Sundar and San for the cute dress for Ashu and shes still asking for Akka! Ashu is so good with kids a little older than her and I can also let the kids be without supervising them every minute that I so want a Big sis/bro for Ashu. Can I have the Junior, Sundar?

Its also confirmed that my child does nt believe in Long Distance Relationships. Just like she would nt talk to her grand parents over the phone after we moved to Zurich from India and run as soon as she hears my dads voice on the phone and would only say Bye to him at the end, shes doing the same now to her dad. Till now, she has never asked about her father or spoken one sentence to him on the phone. Except this one time, when she saw the climax of the movie Finding Nemo on TV and asked me "No Appa?" I hope she realizes soon that I'm Marlin in this house who would fight the entire ocean to come and see her. Her dads just the side kick Dory with an even more short term memory disorder, if that's possible, mainly existing to annoy Marlin!

There are so many other interesting(!) things which Ashu is saying and doing but let me stop here. More later if you are nt already bored to death.

ps.
Hd, you asked for it!

Ticket to ride.

Sunday was another fun filled day with a day trip to a big park with a dear dear friend and her kids. Then to my cousins place for lunch where while Ashu took a nap we played the board game Ticket to Ride. My sis has the US board and my cousin has the Europe board and she and her husband has painstakingly made an Indian Board by themselves too! So we were trying to make train routes from one city to another city and having pure fun! Every time my sis and I meet, she introduces us to a new game and the poor old games are totally forgotten. Ticket to Ride is so addictive that the old games which we used to play like crazy past midnight did nt even come out of their boxes. Every night after Ashu goes to sleep, we take the board out. Got to see what she does if we play with her around. There are so many coins and cards of different colors, I'm sure she ll invent a game of her own and snatch our board away. This reminds me of those days two decades back when my family used to play card games and exclude us kids. I used to create hell and cry my lungs out. Especially after my sister was included in the game and I was still the Uppuku Sappaani. (the third wheel or the spare tyre comes close to this Tamil expression meaning "She does nt make a difference to this game!") I'm happy we are able to do some adult stuff too in spite of having a toddler at home. Probably Hd and I should start playing some board games after Ashu goes to sleep in the nights. Otherwise its just one laptop each and doing our own thing as we have lost interest in watching even TV these days. And to think that I left the previously loved Settlers of Catan board game back in India as I was sure we would nt have any time to play. May be I should buy my own board of Ticket to Ride and take it to Zurich. And what do you know? Our wedding anniversary is just around the corner! Are you hearing Sis? ;)

Hola this is Dora!

If I ever have another child, it will only be because I would want Ashu to be a sister and if shes half as good as a sister like my sister is, then well the second one will be half lucky as I am right now! OK if that was nt a confusing statement to start a post! I cant begin to explain the fun I am having here with my sister but let me give it a try.

So on Saturday my sister was supposed to throw a surprise baby shower for a friend who's expecting her second baby. My sister and I are those kind whose lives are so inter mingled that all her friends are my friends too and all my friends are... well... lets just say she knows them too!! So I was expecting to see all our friends and their new babies and 2 of my cousins and their families too. My sister was busy making the food and I was wondering why she had nt made it a potluck. Since it was Ashus star birthday, we went to the temple in the morning and then got ready for the party, cooking and cleaning and dressing up. At 4 pm, guests started arriving and everyone gave gifts to Ashu and wished her a happy birthday and I was like "Oh! How sweet of them to bring gifts to Ashu since they are seeing her for the first time!" My sister had decorated the party area with Dora theme and Ashu was going gaga over all the Dora tissue, cup, cap, tattoo, stickers, etc... When my sister suggested I dress up Ashu in a pink party frock, I said no! I think you guys figured out by now where this is going. But I ll continue anyway since I am very gullible and not very smart in the smarts department! Anyhow, my sis brought out the cake after all the guests arrived and what do I see? Theres this beautiful Dora cake with "Happy 2nd Birthday Ashu!" on it. Well, what do you say for that? Have nt I got the best sister or what? Ashu was mighty pleased when everyone sang "Happy birthday to you" and could nt get enough of Dora! I rushed her to the bedroom and changed her into the party frock just before the cake cutting! (Listen to your sister people! Shes always right!) We cut the cake, played, caught up with friends, opened gifts and went crazy with all the books and toys. It was a blast! Thanks sis! You are the best! Ashu would probably be the youngest to get a surprise party like this one. And I certainly would be the oldest to fall for such a silly trick!

ps.
Yes, we missed you Hd. Eating two whole pieces of that delicious cake was tough even for me. ;)

Safe and sound.

I survived. Yippee! Ashu was a doll and behaved fabulously and made me proud when half a dozen people complimented her on how sweet and how nice she was through out the flight. But its never enough is it? Even if you travel with an angelic child, 14 hours in a stupid airplane can tire anyone out!

Pros:
The first row seat.
Personal TV screen.
The most friendliest steward I have ever seen. I strongly vote for Male Stewards. Fire those damn rude air hostesses!
A good natured child. Especially if its your own.

Cons:
OK I don't know how to say this. But this guy who was sitting in our row next to Ashu kept plucking his hair and EATING it. He was at it for 10 hours. He had bald patches in his head. Once I saw him pluck a lump of hair, ball it and eat it like cotton candy. I did nt let Ashu sit next to him. I kept her in my lap all the time except when food was served. I always looked at my right instead of that hair plucker(Translate this word into Tamil if you know the language!) and sprained my neck. I wanted to throw up violently every time I saw him doing it. I wanted some one else to see him doing that and almost told the friendly steward. But held my tongue at the end. This has to be the grossest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Every time he was about to smile or about to strike a conversation with me or Ashu, I turned the other way and wished he disappeared. It was HORRIBLE. I am scarred for life. I don't know why he of all people had to sit in our row. And to think that nail biting annoys me...

Ashu went to sleep when the flight landed in SFO. I cleared immigration and collected the baggage. Carried sleeping Ashu, folded the stroller and kept it on the trolley. And pushed the heavy trolley with one hand while balancing Ashu with the other. The ten minutes walk to the exit was painful to say the least. I wish there were some airport staff to help passengers traveling alone with kids. What if I had more luggage? What if I had two kids? (How do you moms who travel alone with two or more kids manage? Do tell. ) Anyway, I come out and see what? No Bil! Sis had told me that she was nt coming to the airport. And there was no Bil either! I was bone tired. So just sat on a chair and decided to wait. 35 mins later, I see my Bil coming. I give him a fake smile and ask what happened. My sis comes behind me and gives me a hug. I am relieved to see her because I don't have to fake with her! I shout at her and tell her I don't want to talk to her ever. Ask her to carry Ashu as a punishment which she happily does! Hmmph! Ashu gets up and looks at them in a daze. Goes to my Bil and says Bye to me! That little Brutus!

California here we come!

Ashu and I are flying to SFO tomorrow morning. 12 hours of flying and 2 hours stop over at London. With a toddler. So you can imagine my anxiety so I wont go into a long rant. Just wish me luck. The exciting thing of course is I am going to see my sister! Yippee!! (And BIL you too of course!) The last time I visited them was four years back which was also my first trip to the USA. This time its going to be Ashu's first trip to the US, my sis has a new home, Im going to see loads of new babies as lot of our friends have been busy since the last time I met them and I can do loads and loads and loads of shopping for Ashu. Unlike last time when I was shopping for my friends two young boys and wished my friend had at least one girl looking at all the pretty clothes in the Girls section. And now I have one! :) And the books! I can buy English books without going bankrupt. Double yippee! We are going to be there for 5 weeks. Hd will join us in the last week. Poor guy, hes already missing Ashu and is changing her poopy diaper without me asking him to. Must be really miserable! ;)

Over and out folks! See you all from the land of Desis! ;)

Zoo, cake and a cycle!

Ask Ashu "how old are you" and she ll show two fingers (sometimes three!) and answer "Two"! My baby is 2 and she knows it too! Sigh!

So on her birthday, this is what we did. We had a quick brunch and took a bus and then a tram to the Zurich Zoo. To say Ashu had fun would be an understatement. Let me just say that this was one of the best days of her life! She was so excited to see so many animals, birds and fish. She opened her mouth wide and said WOW every time she saw an animal and I could nt get enough of her wows. She loved the elephants, monkeys, crocodiles, giant turtles, fish, penguins, camels,... She saw the Rhinos and shouted "Amma! Hippo paaru"! Understandable as Hd is still confused between a hippo and a rhino! ;) The Zoo had a big play area and while Hd and I were having a late lunch, she had a gala time with loads of other kids in the slide. It was late evening by the time we came home and Ashu was very tired as she had missed her nap. But she cut a small cake and we sang and assembled the Thomas train and that poor guy is still loading and unloading rocks as she does nt want the train to stop. Ever!

Yes people! We did get a gift for Ashu. And here it is! Happy?

27.04.2007

Dear Arushi,
Yes, its Amma again and yes, its already your second birthday. I don't believe it either but lets fact it, you are getting old! :) What can I say about this year except thank God for every minute of it? And do you know we both have nt spent a day or night apart from each other in these 2 years? Yes, that's true baby and I'm mighty proud that I have nt had any life except you. And lets see how far we can stretch it. Until your wedding night perhaps? OK, OK I get the point. I ll try to be cool when you go out on sleep dates. No promises though! This year started with a bang for you with two grand parties, ear piercing and of course, the shaved head! I realised babies look cute no matter what when I saw your bald head yellow with the sandalwood paste. But you look a lot nicer with those curly locks and whenever people comment that your hair is exactly like mine, I can only pity you. Sorry!

The best thing about this year was that you spent nine months of it in India and that meant more time with your grand parents. Which meant I could relax and actually enjoy you. I realize that's the best thing to happen to an impatient mother like me. And the way you are so close to your grandpas and grandmas makes my heart grow heavy. I ll never solve this mystery of why you are the way you are with them. Remember when Thatha went abroad for 2 months and when he came back, you screamed "Thathaaaaaaaaaaa" and ran to him. And there we were wondering if you ll go to him or not since you were 14 months old and it would have been normal if you were shy at first. This happened so many times with both the grandpas and grandmas that we stopped questioning it. You figured out who is going to leave you loads of money pretty early in life - that's the explanation I'm sticking to!

Something I'm sure you have got from me is very interesting to notice. You have no problems adjusting to new places and you are OK with change. You like your dolls Paapu and Boo but never miss them. You don't ask for them. You love your grand parents to bits but as soon as they say good bye and leave, you give me a sad look and ask me "No Thatha/Paati" and then continue with your life. You don't ask for them again. Its the same when dad leaves for office everyday, you go until the elevator and say lots of byes and as soon as his face disappears you give me a sad face and then distract yourself with some toys. You have loads of fun in the park but as soon as I say lets leave, you say "Bye Park" and start following me. It breaks my heart every time you unquestioningly listen to me. You have been drinking milk out of a bottle or a sippy cup almost all these two years and the other day when I gave you milk from a glass you just drank it without protest and did nt wonder for a second where the bottle was. But if you cant find out which part of the house I am and if I don't answer your calls, you start panicking and about to cry and as soon as you find me, you swallow the tears and pretend to be OK and give me a smile as if you never doubted that I had left you alone and gone somewhere. Who taught you all this? This is when I get proof that not all things are taught but inherited. Because I am exactly like that to the T. Years from now when you get married and start panicking when your husband does nt answer his mobile phone, remember to blame it on your mother's genes. It works!

The most annoying thing about this year would be my Karma punishing me through you. Why oh why is everything in life a circle? Why cant you just be happy when you see your mom and dad hug? You can't stand it if we are touching each other. Actually, you don't want ME to touch YOUR dad. You push only me no matter who's touching whom. You have to come and squeeze yourself in the middle if we are cuddling in the bed. You push my hand away if I put my arm around his shoulder. You scream if we kiss each other and ask your dad to carry you. But its OK if we just give a short kiss though. A peck in the cheek is all you can take. And to think that I was exactly like you when I was young and my folks were nt even that fond of public affection. I did nt even want my mom to sit next to my dad. I would always insist on sitting in the middle. As you sow... But the funny thing is that you make an exception when dad leaves for office. As soon as he kisses you and says good bye, you say "Amma?" and point a finger at me. So your dad kisses me and says good bye and you are happy. Thank you darling. It feels great to be kissed with your approval and without you glaring at us. And we promise, no tongue!

When you were a newborn, I used to wonder what kind of a toddler you would be. You are nothing I imagined. I thought you would be a mini version of me - impatient, messy, loud, lazy and other things Im not proud of myself. But you are such a well behaved toddler that I'm sure your dad is sending you to night school to learn the good stuff. The one thing I adore about you is that you listen to me. Almost always. And it brings a tear to my eyes when you listen to me. Always. I was afraid I would be a bad mother by constantly screaming and shouting and probably even spanking. But you never give me a chance and you don't know how much you have helped me grow because of that. I have discovered I have a calm and quiet side in me too. That I have a very patient and creative side too. Thank you for bringing that out in me. Thank you for being here. I am a better person because of you and I hope you say the same thing about me one day. Well, I can hope!

Happy Birthday Darling!

Luv,
Amma.

Idea!

I know I was complaining about how going out shopping with Ashu is a pain and how I cant buy anything except may be a can of milk? Well, I had a light bulb moment last week when we were coming back from the library and passed a shoe store! :) Oh yes, I can buy a pair of pretty shoes for myself and bribe Ashu with a pair of flip flops and come home all the way grinning! ;)

By the way, those silly pair of flip flops costs as much as my shoes, can you believe that? And Ashu is not even able to walk properly and shes walking like a duck because shes not used to wearing sandals without straps. Who cares? I got new shoes! :)

Baby S died on Saturday evening after fighting for her life her entire life of over 2 months. She never saw her home. She never saw her Naana and Naani who arrived on Sunday. She never saw friends and family. She never saw India, her home land. She never saw her Uncles, Aunts, Nephew and Niece.

I am horribly upset. I am going to see my friend in the evening and don't know what to say. I feel guilty because I am breathing normally while the Baby is nt. I am living while the Baby is nt.

God bless the tiny soul.

Thanks to all of you who said a prayer for her.

Kidspeak.

The other day Ashu called me "Amma, Amma" and pointed at the picture of an umbrella in her book and said "Umbella". I said "That's right dear. Good job! What color is the Umbrella?" She thought for a second and said "Red". I said "That's blue, Ashu". So she says "Blue aa? Good job Amma"!!!!!!!!

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When Hd was out of town, I was having my morning cup of tea in the blue mug which usually Hd drinks from. Ashu saw me drinking and said, "Appa Tea. Appa Tea." God knows how kids observe so many things. I mean, after all these years, ask Hd what colour is our sofa and he ll think for a minute!

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Yesterday Ashu was running around and in the process kicked my sandals which were lying on the floor. She looked down and said "Oh Sorry" and picked them up and brought them to me to wear. And did I tell you she kicks me in the mornings with glee?

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She has this book called Animal Homes. Theres an empty kennel in the first page with "Who lives here?" And in the next page theres a dog in the kennel. Then theres a empty basket in one page and a cat on next and so on. So Little Missy opens the book and asks me "Wheres the cat" looking at the empty basket and I tell her its in the next page. But that does nt satisfy her. She has to know where the cat is in THAT page. I tell her "Ashu, this is a basket and on the next page theres a cat in the basket". But shes not happy. She always open that page and asks "Wheres the cat?". I think shes *this* close to asking "Why"! And when that day comes, my dear readers, I ll be pulling my hair and running on the streets!

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Today we took her to the new Paediatrician who is near our house. I'm glad I found him because he was wonderful. Very friendly and kind. Ashu was scheduled for a vaccination but we postponed it because shes still on antibiotics. The doctor got all her details, checked her and pronounced her "very smart" after observing her play with the toys he gave her. Hd and I came out of the office with a proud grin in our faces and shes not even in school yet. How pathetic are we? ;)

The Birthday Gift for "MY" daughter which she asked "ME" which "I" wanted to buy is already here because I have a big mouth.

Mommy and baby woke up at 7 am after an uninterrupted sleep except once when Ashu got up and asked "Appa Illayaa?" and went back to sleep the next instant. And as soon as she got up, she told "Appa is in the bathroom". I told her "Appa is out of town". She thought it was a word game and said "Appa is in the bathroom". I said "Yes baby, but in a bathroom hotel in AMSTERDAM". She completely lost my sarcasm and said again "Appa is in the bathroom". I gave up and shut her up by giving her milk. Then the door bell rang. I hurriedly brushed my hair and opened the door to see the Postman standing with a big packet. I knew exactly what it was when I saw the package.

Remember this post where in the last paragraph I told you guys about how Ashu was asking for a Thomas train for her upcoming birthday. Apparently I should nt have shared that piece of information with my crazy parents!!!!!! Yes, the package was from my parents from India with a heavy Thomas and his friends Big loader. Now what am I supposed to buy for her? I told you my parents were crazy!

And these ignorant folks could nt even get the address right for Gods sake. They asked my sister for my address and wrote it on the box even without writing "Switzerland" on it. My dad remembered after sending the courier and then asked me if that was OK. At that time I thought they were sending a card for Ashu, did nt know about the gift. I yelled at my dad for being so stupid. My address does nt even have Zurich in it so I was sure that the post will be lost. Then my dad had called the courier guys I suppose. Because on the package, I saw the word "SWIS", yes Swis, written with a different pen in small print somewhere near the return address!! And the return address looks larger than the TO address and the senders name and receivers name are the same as I still have my maiden name. There must have been one confused postman out there today! But still I got the package and Ashu got her gift. Their unconditional love has brought it all the way here I suppose. There were also a Kerala style frock and a skirt my mom has bought in Guruvayoor for Ashu.

Now what about the a luxury villa in Bangalore I have been hinting to buy for the sake of Ashu, Dad? How is it coming along?

This and that.

Ashu is sick since we came back from Prague last Tuesday. Her nose is running, shes coughing really hard and is also feverish during the nights, extremely clingy and ready to bawl at the drop of a hat. Phew! Since I had medicines for all the ailments, shes a little better now. Have to pay the doctor a visit tomorrow if she does nt improve considerably. Hd and I always seem to disagree with this Doctor thing. He wants to go and see the Doctor as soon as she starts getting sick. I want to go only after a couple of days if she does nt get better. Generally, I hate to go to the hospital or see a Doctor. And equally hate medicines. I don't go unless and until it is absolutely necessary like when I fall down a flight of stairs and bleeding like hell or in labor! I seem to do the same with Ashu as well. So far things have worked out OK but the nagging feeling starts eating me up from the day she gets sick. Should I have gone to the Dr today? Has she become worse? Is she in pain? Am I doing the wrong thing? Is this a bad judgement? Will she be ok tomorrow? God forbid but will the worst nightmare of my life happen? And then the next day when she seems better but becomes worse towards evening, I'm going through all the guilt again. And its bad if this happens in a weekend as the entire Zurich is in curfew and the only option is the Emergency at the Children's hospital. And last time when we went there for Ashus wheezing problem, we had to wait for 4 hours by which time Ashu was perfectly fine and the Doctor could nt find anything wrong with her and sent us home with some Paracetamol! Damned if I did, damned if I did nt! Perfectly explains life with kids, does nt it?

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Hd is going to Amsterdam today and will be back on Thursday. So its going to be just me and Ashu for 3 nights. And I cant go "Mommy! Help!" as I did in India. I am sure I ll be OK but theres a little chance that I might go mad too. Will let you guys know for sure!

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I think it became Summer straight after Winter here in Zurich. It is so warm and so bright everyday here since the time change. And its high time I buy curtains for the huge windows in this flat. The sun light is really blinding. I'm not able to see where Ashu is after I look out of the window for a minute to see what the cows are up to. Oh yeah, I completely forgot to tell about the cows. There are these three farms next to our apartment and so far I have seen only 4 horses roaming around. Hd was telling me that he spotted some cows in October and they ll be out once the winter is over. And there they were 2 weeks back. Around 50 cows in total and one of the herd comes real close to the fence and I have fun looking at them from our 10th floor window and balcony. Ashu could nt believe her eyes the first time she spotted the whole lot of them. And to think that I grew up in a village with our very own farm. Sigh!

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Remember Baby S? She has been moved to the Children's Hospital in Zurich. So I got a chance to meet my friend, P. The baby was in the ICU so I did nt get to see her. Which was good as I don't think I could have handled it well. P started crying as soon as she saw me and I could nt take it. We were sitting and talking for a couple of hours about this and that and catching up as we were seeing each other after an year. Her husband and her son were at home.(in another city an hour away by train) This happened a month back. Now shes commuting between Zurich and home everyday. The baby is still in the ICU. A surgery was performed last week and they are waiting to see if theres any improvement. The doctors told her that its a very slow process. She still needs our prayers.

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OK, I just got back from the Paediatrician. Hd left for the airport in the morning so I had to go alone. I deserve it for delaying to go to the Doctor. Ashu had high temperature in the morning too, so called the Doc and went there by 10. Ashu seemed to be fine then and I was worried what the Doc was going to say. But he took a blood test and confirmed theres an infection and prescribed antibiotics. I told Ashu that the nurse was going to prick her fingers and it will hurt a little but not to cry. To my amazement, she kept looking at her finger and the nurse and did nt cry at all! So I cried. I mean here's this little girl who has been crying in her sleep for the past 3 days and I was getting impatient with her. And then when I saw her not crying when a needle pricked her little finger, I felt so guilty and realized how badly she might have been hurting to cry like that. So I called Hd who was at the airport and guilt tripped him as well! Why should I suffer alone? Anyway, I had to go to the Central Zurich area to buy the medicines as all the shops here are closed due to Sechseläuten(The beginning of the Spring Festival). Ashu is asleep now and I hope she gets better soon. As my mom says, sometimes paying the Doctor fee is all it takes for the kids to get alright.

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Happy Tamil New Year!