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March 26, 2007

Time out.

A decade and a half back when my cousin was very little, his dad (my uncle) used to give him time outs. The typical "stand facing the wall and count 1 to 100" when the boy behaved badly. I really pitied the boy and thought that my uncle was heartless. My dad thought it was barbaric. He never gave us time outs when my sis and I were young and only hit us instead. On several occasions. Long story short, I started Ashu on time outs when she was around 20 months. One day, she threw a toy and I asked her not to but she still did. So I asked her to stand facing the wall.(Statue pannu!) She gladly obliged with a big smile and did nt move even after I asked her to move. All hell broke loose since this took place in my parents place. My dad did nt speak to me for days because of my barbaric act towards my child! (which ended with "You will see when you are a grandparent", blah, blah, blah,...) Once when I gave time out for Ashu in Bangalore, my mom went out to the balcony banging the door after her and started muttering "Who will give time out for you? I did nt have to see this day if I had given time outs to you when you were young. Why has God kept me alive to see all this suffering?". Loud enough for me to hear, of course! So basically I gave two time outs in 2 months. My mom and dad knew that I was just waiting to go to Zurich to start my tyranny and bid a teary farewell to Ashu, the child they were sure will never be the same again when she returned back to India. They might have even put some money and biscuits in a Ziploc bag with an escape plan and hid it in her pant pocket, but so far I have nt found any incriminating evidence. True to their word, I did start giving her time outs as soon as I landed in the airport because she would nt pick up the suitcase from the baggage carousel and keep it in the trolley!.What nerve!

In the past 2 months, I would have given Ashu around 5 or 6 time outs. Either for throwing stuff or kicking me in my stomach to wake me up in the morning. As soon as I put her in the corner, she ll stand facing the wall and would nt even try to move. Nor does she cry. She stands there because her mother has asked her to. No explanations needed. Needless to say, I'm almost in tears whenever I do that to her. She stands for 2 minutes and then I ask her to be a good girl and not to do such things, and say I love her and give her a hug. She hugs me back. Once she refused to clean up the blocks from the floor and said no when I asked her nicely. So a "time out" it was and after the 2 minutes were up, she picked up the blocks and put them in the bag. I was surprised that it worked. But the funny thing is Ashu seems to like time outs. Any attention is good attention for her, the making of a true celebrity! Even if I threaten her with a time out, she immediately walks towards a wall! I must be a terror.

So yesterday I hear raised voices from Ashus room and go to inspect. The Boo doll is sitting facing the wall and Ashus shouting "bad girl! statue! no!" while threatening it with a finger. Shes also doing some baby talk in a stern voice but I understand her totally. It has to be "Think about what you did, stay where you are, face the wall,..." since I know the drill very well. There has to be a lesson for me in all this but for the life of me I cant figure out what it is!

In the photo, the scene was recreated the next day as the light was nt good for taking photos on the day the crime was committed.

Dad if you are reading this, please do NOT, I repeat, do NOT take the baggage carousel part seriously. I was only kidding. Im seriously counting on you for the Liposuction surgery expenses. All our money goes for my therapy and the shrink says its because I had a bad childhood. ;)


Kowsalya Subramanian said...

bad boo.. now i will give a timeout for you for giving timeout for your girl..

its too much to expect the 20 month old to pick up blocks and put it in. My daughter is 6 years and still I have to plead with her to do it. But anyway its just my feeling and every mom knows whats best for their children

Oh.. don't think I am very considerate mother either.. I do scold her or threaten to beat her or beat her [rarely] if she really mis-behaves. But mostly, for just raising my voice, she listens.

I have never scolded her till she was 3 years thinking she might not understand that anyway. Also, I should say she was very well behaved child till my mom came and stayed with me for a year and pampered her.. No amma please don't think I am blaming you.. ESCAPE

Kowsalya Subramanian said...

> kicking me in my stomach to wake
> me up in the morning
LOL... but mam, if you sleep after she woke up, then you definitely deserve a kick ;)

Anonymous said...

Boo, time out is not all that bad. I never managed to give the lad time out (stuck to shouting instead:D) and I sometimes do feel that I did the wrong thing. You have to do whatever you think is right, don't let others tell you otherwise.

PS: Whatever you do, be prepared for the young one to tell you when they are grown up that you ruined their life :)

Unknown said...

aahaa !! so true ! same thing happens here. I go to India and my mom calls me a barbarian. In those days we just used to get slapped for anything and everything till we were blue in the face! these days we cant even slap our kids in public ! some smartass who has no experience with kids calls the cops !! Timeout is the only option we have and even that is being critiqued ? cruel !!

the only thing that works is bribing. and how long do you think the "I will not buy you anymore Dora sticker books!" line will work. Not when she has a dozen already !!

Instead of venting in your comments section, I should just write a post someday.

Shobha said...

:-) Funny, really cracked me up.
On a serious note, I am with you .. time-outs are essential as there is no other way to consistently discipline our babies .. and it's way better than hitting. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Hi boo...Yipee for time outs. I think we as generation are really hard on ourselves. We second guess each and every move of ours as a parent. I know for sure our parents didnt do that. They knew what was right for us and we followed their orders!!

Just think that in 20 years there will be only this post to remind your daughter that she even got time outs. Ashu is a good mom to boo doll----how do I know that----she shows by example. Imitation is the best form of flattery. So ensoy while it lasts.
Suriya Greens Priya

Anusha said...

LOL!! to imitate Boo, I know I am supposed to be taking this seriously and saying something profound, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what that is -so I'll just laugh my head off!! Wonder if the Boo doll will someday be replaced with the real Boo :)

B o o said...

Kowsalya - The time outs are for me as well for her as I dont want to react when Im angry. So works both ways especially since I have a BAD temper! And Ashu totally gets it! I mean she was born with an attitude! :)
And hey, thats not fair! I need my 6.30 am sleep on weekends! and weekdays for that matter! ;)

B o o said...

WA - You are so right about the ps. Its a no win situation so we as well do what we think is right!

Sundar - Hear! Hear! Exactly my sentiments. And Ashu is too young to understand bribes. As soon as I say No Noddy or Dora, she starts asking for them! :(

SS - Thank you. I feel I belong now! :)

B o o said...

Hi Priya - Good to see you back. You are so right. I do think a million times before deciding on a parenting technique! (Was that even a word when we were kids?!)

@ - You said it! Thats the lesson! "Be prepared to be on the receiving end pretty soon"! You are a genius! :)

Manchus said...

Well! I haven't reached the stage for time outs.But I am sure I will resort to this method and not the method my parents adopted. The good old beating!!

Well their method could only last until I was little taller than my Mom, then on I had the strength to defend myself :)

That was very cute of Aashu to enact the whole thing. I am sure in her dreams she might be seeing her Mommy as a Monster.

For my little one I am the Monster as I try to brush her teeth,clean her nose,cut her nails and clean her ears!! Those are really herculean tasks!!

By Deepa and Supriya said...

So you are her hero Boo, tyrant or not :)
and i hope you'll be able to get that liposuction :)

the mad momma said...

my God.. how do you get them to work? i try so hard. i put the brat in a high chair because he will not stay in one place and at the end of it all i end up giving him a whack... so high chair it is to avoid violence.. he sits there and wails for hours.. but yippee.. i have a daughter now and maybe she will be better!

Crumbling Cookie said...

Yay Timeouts!
I can't wait for Ananya to grow up (a little more). She's already being brattish-fliging things, hittings us, growling when something is out of reach and won't get to her the minute she lays her eyes on it...the list goes on. For now its a simple-Nanna, no hitting mamma, good girl right, good girl's don't hit.
Needless to say its not working.

Itchingtowrite said...

that was cute of her - giving time out to the doll. may be she understands that the time out is a punishment but since it doen't hurt / bother her much she obliges u!

Priya Arun said...

Ok, now I'm confused. So do I or do I not give time-outs to the kid? (FYI, I dont have a kid. Yet. Just making some notes now, hehehe)

P.S: Is it just me or does Ashu's hairstyle resemble Boo's? I mean the Boo Boo, not you Boo ;-)

Kowsalya Subramanian said...

No Priya.. its not just you. just today I was staring at Ashu's photo in the lilypie sticker with boo doll and both resembled a lot

Kowsalya Subramanian said...

btw, you can see the lilypie sticker of Ashu in the other blog

B o o said...

Manchus - U r right! Time out or not, we are the monsters!

Orchid - She has nobody else to emulate anyway! I mean to imitate her dad would be like sitting before the laptop all day long! ;)

MM - I have no clue. She just did nt protest! But I never give her time outs when shes crying. She usually needs something while shes crying and its not a time out!

B o o said...

SM - Easy does it Tiger! We have to choose our battles while giving time outs. If it works out for every problem, I would be a thinner mom! ;)

Itchy - Right. Like I said, she think its a game. Good for me! :)

Priya - You will know! ;)

Boo doll has 2 pig tails but the hair is such a mess like Ashus and mine too! We are one big happy bad hair family!

Shammi said...

Methinks Ashu looks as sad to see Boo-doll facing the wall as you do when you see Ashu facing the wall! :) She IS learning from you!

PS. When my little cousin was little (duh), my uncle & aunt used to sit her down on the "naughty stair" when she was misbehaving. She's 16 now and ALWAYS skips that particular stair when going upstairs or downstairs. She says it's because she's scarred for life and stepping on that stair would bring back the bad memories! :D

Me too said...

Awww... Little girls are always mommy's copycats! I have a 4 yr old and I wish I had tried timeouts too! Between 2 and 4 yrs of her age, both of us (collectively!) had become the 'terrible twos'!

Tharini said...'e nuts!!! And I mean that in the best way're a true genius when it comes to making someone laugh!

Looooved it!

Anonymous said...

I was ROFL so much. Hilarious post. Keep it coming


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