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March 10, 2007

Get well soon, Baby S.

Funny comes easy to me. Even when Im sick or down, I can joke about it. But I dont know what to say when my friends are unhappy. I usually tell them that Im there for them, my prayers are with them and then I shut up. I cant give a long speech like my sister does and make them feel better with my words. I cant figure out what to do for them or how to make them feel better. I willingly help if they ask but I cant pester them to take my help. And today I felt the most helpless ever in my life. I spoke with my friend who also lives in Swiss. She gave birth to her second baby 5 days back. A girl after a boy. Just like she wanted. But alls not well. The baby has a heart defect. The Doctors had diagnosed that the baby has some heart problems even when she was pregnant. But now it has become certain. The baby was 3 weeks early so her family is not here yet. Her older son is staying with friends. Its tough on the family to say the least. She lives in another city, so Im not of any help. The baby has trouble breathing. She has shortness of breath during feedings and gets tired very soon. So the Doctors dont want her to try too hard. But the baby has to gain weight and become healthy to withstand the surgery which will be in a month from now. Its a vicious cycle. For now, my friend is pumping and the breast milk is fed to the baby through her nose with a feeding tube. I had tears in my eyes when I heard that. The baby is in the NICU. My friend is getting discharged tomorrow. Thats right, shes going home tomorrow without the baby. And it might even take weeks for the baby to come home. I imagined myself in her place, leaving 5 days old baby girl in a cold hospital, all alone, amidst strangers and going home. I could nt. What a cruel world we live in. My friend is taking all this very positively and at least on the phone she sounded okay. I pray God to give the family all the strength they need and a very quick recovery for the baby girl. Please keep Baby S on your prayers too. It will mean a lot to the family.

Update on apr 16th.

She has been moved to the Children's Hospital in Zurich. So I got a chance to meet my friend, P. The baby was in the ICU so I did nt get to see her. Which was good as I don't think I could have handled it well. P started crying as soon as she saw me and I could nt take it. We were sitting and talking for a couple of hours about this and that and catching up as we were seeing each other after an year. Her husband and her son were at home.(in another city an hour away by train) This happened a month back. Now shes commuting between Zurich and home everyday. The baby is still in the ICU. A surgery was performed last week and they are waiting to see if theres any improvement. The doctors told her that its a very slow process. She still needs our prayers.


Mad said...

I get a dozen mails everyday, about children with some medical condition. Forwards asking me to send the mail to others. Some with pictures of little kids that should make your heart shrink to half its size.

I delete every one of them.

But when it happens to someone you know, it turns real.

It has been a long time since I prayed, today I did.

Please convey my regards to your friend.


Premalatha said...

Hope she gets well soon.

Crumbling Cookie said...

Prayers for Baby S. May God Bless her. Altho I can't imagine what her parents might be gone thru, i can relate to some extent. I had to leave Ananya in the ICU for 5 days while I went home the day after she was born. Those were the longest 5 days of my life.

Anonymous said...

My son was quite ill right after he was born ... it's the absolute worst.

I have never gotten over that and cannot take anything for granted .. health is indeed the most precious wealth.

My husband was in the emergency room a couple of weeks ago ... everything is so fragile that it makes you go down on your knees every now and then and thank God just for making it thru' each day with your loved ones safe and sound ... sorry for rambling .. your post hit a nerve.

My heart goes out to your friend.
I totally empathise with how helpless you feel.

I just wanna make a suggestion. Find out if your friend can get some counseling at the hospital. She just gave birth, her post partum hormones would have kicked in as well ... it can be very overwhelming and she needs to look after herself.

God is great. I pray everything turns out all right.

the mad momma said...

ohmigod... everytime i hear something like this my heart skips a beat... it recently happened to a friend and i am due in three days and its all so close home.. i pray that God blesses the little baby and heals her and that the family is put out of this tension and heartache sure she will be out of hospital and gurgling really soon...

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with Baby S and family. I hope everything goes all right for them. - Anupama

B o o said...

Mad - You are so right. We react only if its close to home. Sad!

Latha - Hope so too.

SM - What was the problem? Have you written about it your blog? I realized how much I take things for granted after this.

B o o said...

Shobha - Even the strongest person crumbles into pieces if a child or a dear one is in the hospital. Especially a child. Hope your husband is well now. I ll suggest my friend to get some counselling. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

MM - I hope so too.

Anupama - Thank you. Hope all our prayers speedens up the recovery.

By Deepa and Supriya said...

my prayers too, for baby is always tough dealing with a sick child...hope your friends get tougher

Tharini said... hurts so much to read about the little one having to feed thru her nose. And I just couldn't stand the picture of the big brother having to spedn time away from his parents and stay with friends. Having recently had this kind of thing with Akhil, tho is a much smaller way...I feel for your friend so much.

I know what you mean by not knowing what to say to help her. Its okay that you don't know the exact words of is a big thing to be there to hear her out and keep talking ot her to let her know she's in your thoughts and prayers.

Also, it would help, if when you talked to her, you helped her get thru the practical you eaten etc. and help her keep focus on the next thing that needs to be done...and not jump it and think too much ahead...

And though it may sound cliched to say that things will be alright....hearing it is a huge help too...say it with conviction and feeling, and she will take strength from your words. Every little bit helps, so don't under-estimate your role in helping her.

My prayers...fervent fervent prayers are for dear Baby S.

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