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December 07, 2005

Desperate housewife!

I hate being called a housewife. There I said it. I hate being assumed as a housewife although the assumption is certainly true in my case. Unemployed? Yes. Jobless? Yes. Stay at home mom? Oh yes! Homemaker? Probably. But housewife? Certainly not. Just the sound of that word makes me go crazy and if I get my hands on the person who coined that word, God save him from this housewife. When people use this word, I can hear a slight disapproval if that person is working, a sadistic satisfaction if she's a housewife as well, a look of pity, a look of accusation,... May be I am reading into it too much but its there nevertheless. I have to be honest here. I am slightly ashamed that I don’t work. But 4 years ago, I decided to quit my job to glob trot with my husband and now that I am a mother as well, I don’t regret it one bit. These 4 years have been the happiest in my life. I lived the life I always wanted to live, I traveled to places I always dreamed to go, had the best years with my husband which we can never have again and last but not the least, it was financially ok for us with me not working. You can’t describe this entire experience in one word - housewife!

As soon as people ask me if I am housewife, I nod my head and hurriedly clarify that I WAS working, I quit, I might go back to working, etc.. I remember once while I was traveling by train, I fibbed a long story to a co-passenger how I was working for this company (my husbands company), how I was traveling to Chennai to get my work permit visa (dependent visa), answering his questions about how "my" company was doing, "my project", "my" work hours! Man, that felt good. (Gotta thank HD here for sharing his office news with me!) I do long to be a career woman. But I did have it once and absolutely hated it. As they say, the other side will always be green. I hope I find something interesting, close to my heart, something I am passionate about to work on. I am doing nothing right now to go look for it. But someday I will and when I do, I will be proud of it. Just like I am today.


Unknown said...


U have 2 cool blogs and especially one, with the baby's pic.

enjoyed goin thru ur blog a lot.

Keep up the good work.

Wishing u all the best, for u getting back to work, or rather in what ever u undertake.

Good blog,

Anonymous said...


After Ashu grows up, maybe you can teach kids...i mean at home..I dont know if you enjoy teaching, but i think this way work wont be too hectic and you can do it at a time convenient to you..
well this is just one option...

Anyway, being a mother is tougher than any other job..
you arent unemployed or jobless!! :-))


B o o said...

Thanks Lakshmi. I do enjoy teaching and plans like these are in my mind. Like you said, managing Ashu is a full-time job and we are traveling so much that it is impossible to plan anything now. Just waiting for the right time. :)

The Visitor said...

Dear 'housewife' :) - you are already doing a great job, and probably enjoy what you are doing now. Don't get strait-jacketed into regular jobs, for, I feel, they would take the joy out of the job.

Don't get trapped in notions of who you are. Read this link about identity. This link I got from this discussion.

The Visitor said...

PS: I some sometimes feel like those web-bots that post spam comments saying, I found your post interesting have a look at this. :)

Anonymous said...

Your blog is wonderful, i can relate to most stories (my husband and i fight as you guys did, went through street harassment at an early age, am a housewife now after working for 9 full years).

I'm not trying to be harsh or hurt you by saying the following, it is based on my analysis on my actions and/or justifications. Seriously give me a break, you are not convinced that you are worth something without actually working and earning money.

If you are, you wouldn't bring that subject so often in your blogs or give justification to the other person.

This is a thankless job and appreciation never comes your way which makes you wonder if you are actually doing anything worthwhile. But believe me your kids will thank you one day, i always remember my mom being at home when i came back from school. She always had some snack prepared fresh in the eve and we went to the market in the eve.

I had a wonderful time with mom, my dad worked very late and wasn't available in the evenings.So i am really glad that my mom is a housewife/homemaker (even though she kinda regrets it ;) ) and your kids will be too.

Anonymous said...


I stumbled on your blog while surfing, am a new mom with a 6 month daughter and recently quit my job.

As i read few of your entries must admit i felt like am talking to my self...
This made me feel so relieved that am not alone and not an isolated part of society!!

Grt wrk...

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