Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month - April 2011.

All through April, there is going to be a lot of discussion, posts, expert opinions, helpful information, point to ponder, statistics, dos and donts about Child Sexual Abuse Awareness across many blogs. If its one blog you should nt miss reading, it is this - http://csaawarenessmonth.wordpress.com/

The blogathon begins on April 1st.

Please support the initiative. Here's how.


If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that entries are welcome.

a. mailed to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com OR
b. posted as FB notes and linked to Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month Page OR
c. posted on your own blog with the logo and linked to the main blog OR
d. linked or posted on Twitter tagged twitter.com/CSAAwareness OR
e. sent via some/all of the above methods

If you are wondering what to write about, the list of topics is available here. Or you can choose your own topic related to CSA. Anonymous contributions are accepted and requests for anonymity will of course be honored. Bloggers can publish guest posts too.

Please remember to send in a mail with all necessary links or just your input to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com

Hats off to Kiran and Monika who have been working hard round the clock to put everything together.

Gotta love this girl!

Ashu: Amma! Come and play a game with me.
Me: Not now, Ashu. Im making dinner.

(2 mins later)

Ashu: Amma come!
Me: Im not done yet. Why dont you play something with Antu? I ll join you when Im done.

(5 mins later)

Ashu: Amma! What game do you want to play?
Me: Anything. You choose.
Ashu: Ok. Come.
Me: ASHU! I ll come when Im done, OK? Dont keep calling me.
Ashu: But Amma...
Me: Shush! I dont want to hear one more word.

(Silence)

(I spot her playing by herself with some sight words flash cards.)

(A good 15 mins later)

Ashu: Amma look at this!

And this is what she had done with the flash cards!



I laughed and joined her for a game. I even let her win! :)

Milestones.

Another birthday came and went. Ashu made a lovely card for me. She asked me a couple of days earlier, "Are you going to be 25, Amma?" "Oh I wish, Ashu! I wish! But I'm going to be 33", I told her. "But why would you wish to be younger, Amma? I don't want to be younger. I cant wait to be 6. I feel like I'm already six." Ah! To be young and foolish again! Hd took us to a nice restaurant nearby for a Sunday brunch after surprising me with a pineapple cake! Then we dropped the kids at a good friends place and went for a movie. The Adjustment Bureau. Very interesting story but the end was a bit disappointing! Matt Damon and Emily Blunt were really good. One particular hospital scene was really powerful.

On other news, I completely forgot to mark a milestone. Antu is successfully potty trained by day. It has been almost a month now and I cant believe we got to this point. I was most skeptical because she was nt showing any signs. She was going to playschool. She has to spend so much time in the car so I was wondering where to begin and how to manage. I just let her diaper free one Friday and it was a disaster! But Day 2 was slightly better and Day 3, she could tell me that she wanted to use the bathroom and there were no accidents. I still sent her in diaper to the play school that week but kept her diaper free at home. By that weekend, she was 100% consistent. So I sent her to playschool without diapers and told the caregivers to remind her to use the bathroom. And Voila! She did it! All on her own! Add to that, shes also showing signs that shes ready to be night trained because her diapers are always dry! I cant believe Ashu and Antu are such opposites! Even though Ashu was potty trained earlier than Antu, she took forever to be night trained. Anyway, so thats that! Im done with diapers! Forever! End of an era! :) Funny that 2 weeks back, the entire household used to go on red alert as soon as Antu said "SOO-SOO" and run to take her to the bathroom. Then it became, "wait a sec!" and then take her to the bathroom. Soon it was, "So? Go!" and poor thing started to pull the step stool closer, put the potty seat on top of the toilet, climb up, use the bathroom, etc... all on her own! Now she has even stopped telling us! I got up today morning to see her sitting on the pot and coolly reading a bath book!! And yesterday Ashu told her, "Let me use it first. You wait in line!" and she patiently did! How the times have changed!

Ashu has also successfully completed Level 1 of Skiing and is confidently skiing the beginner slopes(Level 2) using the ski lift and all! Best decision ever to put her and S, a friends daughter in a private class and taking them to the slopes every weekend regularly since January. The girls enjoyed each others company, had fun skiing and enjoyed the whole experience. And we feel we had a productive winter too! She has also taken to her brand new Skateboard with a vengeance. It has been sleeping in the cupboard for a year. A gift from my sister for her 5th birthday on her request. Shes growing up too fast for me and talking the talk and walking the walk! "You know what a ramp is Amma? You don't? Its an inclined plane!!", she told me yesterday! *gulp* I know I have always been telling her, "Use your words, Ashu! Use your words!" for everything! But the other day she did and how! Antu kept on kicking her under the table when they were eating dinner. Ashu told her to stop repeatedly but Antu would nt listen. So she says, "Whats the point, Antu? Why are you kicking me? Whats the point?" I swear I choked on my tea!

By the Water Cooler.

I think Parul times her book release to coincide with my India trip! :) Just like last time, I bought her second book, By the Water Cooler, at the Landmark in Chennai. But this time I could nt find them in the shelves and had to ask the staff and the guy brought me a copy! hmph. How rude! But it was fun searching for "Sharma" in the shelves and telling the guy "Parul NOT Poonam Sharma" and giving him a look as if hes from Mars! Even though I could nt wait to read the book, I could nt begin to read it before I finished the other books in my waiting list thanks to my OCD. Especially since they were by a certain Stieg Larson.

I started reading the book in a nervous state. Will I like the book or wont I? If I dont like it, should I be honest in my blog review? But how can I lie to my BFF[citation needed]? This is the problem reading books written by people you know. (In my case, the grand total is just ONE - Parul.) But I need not have worried. Its a total fun read just like her blog. A very fast moving book and thats saying something in my case. Because if I get stuck in a book, it takes quite a long time for me to continue that book again. Which means I dont read any other book. Which means Im blog hopping like crazy! Phew. You saved me there, P!

I was in awe of Parul through out the book. Almost every line I read made me go, "How did she think of that?"

All the antics by Tanya planning her wedding right in the office were just hilarious. Genius idea, that!

I LOVED Tanya more than Mini. There, I said it!

I liked how Mini never quit. And a little jealous too.

I was picturing Paruls face for Mini, Deepika Padukone(!) for Anuradha Menon, that manager guy in the Rocket Singh movie as Avinash, an ex colleague of mine for Varun, etc... I could nt picture anyone I know as Shipra because I dont know anyone who would fit the name "Lardie" perfectly! Except for one person whose name begins with B, ends with an O and has another O in the middle! *ahem* Anyway, so now you know whom to cast when the book becomes a movie, right Parul? :)

Everyday Math.

I have been going crazy trying to teach Addition and Subtraction to Ashu. It takes talent to teach a kid something as basic as 2+2 = 4, I tell you. And I sorely lack that talent. She is getting better though after a month of me sitting on her head. Though the ride has not been smooth, it has been quite comical. Like when I ask her whats 15 + 4, she ll do some calculations in her head and answer "11"! And Im like "Dude! how can you add two numbers and then get a lesser number?" But of course she ll give me a blank look like her father does when I explain to him the method of loading the dishwasher. For the 100th time! And then she ll start guessing, "Is it 15 then? Or 17?" And when shes in one of those annoyingly silly moods, "Is the answer fifteen hundred and twenty, Amma? Or a Trillion and one?" Sigh! One day she wrote 9 + 9 = 19. I was nt even sitting with her or anything. She was playing with stencils and using the number stencils, wrote this in a paper. And many other sums. All of them were right except this one. I winced. Told her as gently as possible that she has done a very good job except this one. And thats it! She exploded! "I hate maths, Amma and I hate you! Im never ever doing addition again! 9 plus 9 is 19! You dont know anything!" and stomped off. I gave her the royal ignore. A few minutes later she walks to me and asks gently, "What is 9 + 9, Amma?" Phew. At least she is interested!

A few weeks back she was asking me when her Easter break was and I told her its in April. "Thats a long time away, Amma! Its only February now", she sighed! I told her that its only a month and a half away and that February is a short month with only 28 days instead of 30 and it will fly. "But thats only like 2 days less, Amma! Thats not a lot!", she responded! I was stunned needless to say!

As if all this drama with Ashu is not enough, Antu for her part shocked me the other day. So theres this shop (Migros) which gives out a small toy called "Nano" every time we buy something for 20 francs. Collecting them is the current craze amongst kids here. I dont shop there a lot much to Ashu's disappointment. So she had only two. The girls treasured them like gold and played with them all the time. Then a couple of days back, Antu and I went to Migros to buy groceries and got two more of them. I gave them to Antu and as soon as she saw them she screamed, "Nano!! Ippa namba kitta four irukku!" (Now we have four!) I refused to believe my ears. The girl can count, yes. But adding?! That too instantly! I think its time I ask Antu to teach Maths to her sister!

The Fungle.

This is a fun website for kids. Ashu and I explored the beta version of The Fungle together a couple of days back and as expected, the kid is hooked. As a beginner reader, Ashu was nt able to read everything on her own and needed my help to navigate in the beginning. Then I left her alone with it and came back 10 minutes later to see her dressing up her avatar, listening to a story and then playing a game! But being the scaredy cat that she is, she asked me to help because she was afraid of the snake that appeared in the game! Its nice that the stories and books are read alongs since she can listen to them. And I like the fact that theres an option of switching off the read along for kids who can read.

And like I wrote to Narayanan, the CEO, the Bee Mail idea is pure genius. Ashu went to bed asking if she got a bee mail! :) We cant wait for the Fungle to go live.

Please check it out if you are interested.

Heres Utbt's review of The Fungle and a short interview with the CEO.

ps.

Cross posted at http://indianmommies.blogspot.com/2011/02/fungle.html

Malaysia Vasudevan, MMKR and my Mom.

A couple of days back, I was listening to "Vachaalum Vaikaama Ponaalum" song form Michael Madana Kama Rajan (MMKR) in my car and was giggling like crazy thinking about the picturization of this song. Ashu asked why I was laughing and I told her its a funny song and that I will show the song to her later. ( But soon forgot. ) I can never listen to this song without at least a smile in my face. God, what a movie! I cant event think about MMKR without going "bheem boy bheem boy" in my mind! And then yesterday when I learnt that Malaysia Vasudevan has passed away, it brought a lump in my throat. The same person who put a smile in my face every time I listened to his voice is no more. RIP, MV.

Im sure I have a screw loose up there somewhere to mention this song as one of my favorites when people all around me are going "Kodai kaala kaatre" and "Poongaatru thurumbumaa" but let me redeem myself by saying that "Vetti veru vaasam" is my epic favorite too.

This made me wonder what are the other Tamil songs which are really funnily picturized. And the first one which came to my mind was the one from Bale Paandiyaa - "Neeye unakku"! God, MR Radha's body language is hilarious! And the whole suspense of what will Sivaji do when he sees MR Radha is just edge of the seat funny. (on another note - how the hell did Sivaji lip sync with such perfection for this extremely difficult song? The mind boggles!) And the "Jambulingame" song from Kasethaan Kadavuladaa. Thengaai is just too good in this one.

And talking about funny songs, I have to mention that Nithyashree song from Jeans - "Kannodu". I know that its not really hilarious or anything but then you dont know my mom. So my mom. You know how we type "ROTFLOL" for everything these days. But are we actually Rolling On the Floor Laughing Out Loud? Most often, we are nt even smiling while typing it, are we? Lets just say that who ever coined ROTFLOL got the idea after seeing my mom go ROTFLOL for the Kannodu song. In the cinema theatre that too! One second my mom was sitting right next to me and the next, she was on the floor and I thought she had a heart attack or something! It was 1998. Sis was in the USA and my dad had better things to do so it was just my mom and me. And then I heard her laughing with tears in her eyes and everyone was looking and I was so embarrassed. Then she managed to get up and sit in her seat. But she laughed so loudly the entire duration of the song, slapped and pinched my thigh so hard when the skeleton dances at the end that I had tears in my eyes too. From the pain! God, it was all so embarrassing that I pretended I was not with her when the lights came on. I should have known better though. She has a history. All my cousins and uncles and aunts run a mile from my mom whenever any scene from MMKR comes on TV. "Ava pakkathula ukkaandhamo, sethom" (we will die in her hands if we sit near her!) can be heard from various parts of the household and Im not exaggerating here! So imagine watching MMKR the first time with her in the theatre. Sis, Dad and I kept switching seats because our legs were getting sore!! "anga joke varudho illayo, unga amma kai namba kaal kitta varudha varudhaa nnu paakardhuke time sariyaa irundhadhu! padatha yaaru paatha?" - this was my dad after the movie!! (who had the time to see the movie when I had to watch out for your mom?) Play any of the Thiruppu-Kameshwaran scene to my mom if you want proof. But if theres Delhi Ganesh or Thiruttu Paati in that scene too, then watch it with her at your own risk!

I am just like her too but a bit more restrained after seeing family members run from her! I am always the one who laughs the loudest in any group. We watched Quick Gun Murugan last week with some friends and man! It was awesome! What a brilliant spoof! It was so wonderfully funny that I was truly ROTFLOL. But then I watched it sitting on the floor, so it did nt look quite as bad as my mom! :)

ps.

Can someone settle this for me once for all? Who sang the "Nila Kaayudhu" song from Sakalakala Vallavan? SPB or Malaysia? The song is credited to SPB but it totally sounds like Malaysia and I ve been thinking it was indeed him until a few years ago when my sis raised this doubt. It has been nagging me ever since. "Kattavandi" is credited to MV, "nethu raathri amma" is credited to SPB. So why not this song to MV? But if it was indeed SPB why did he sing it so different from his own voice? Discuss.

Breaking the break.

Things have been crazy in Boodom. The sick fest began in Jan and I just realized the whole family has been falling sick every January like clock work. I think I ll take some flu shots next year. I mention only me here because its the Universal truth that the whole world and its neighbor can get sick but a MOTHER never ever can fall ill! Its a recipe for disaster especially when she has to drop two kids in school! It all started with Ashu burning with fever one sunday and then bunking school the next 4 days. Antu fell sick somewhere around Day 3 and I caught it on Day 5. One day it was Thursday and the next thing I know, it was Monday morning! I have no idea how the three days in between flew by. It was one of the worst days in my life! Even though I was out of fever on Monday, it took me 5 more days to come back to normal. Phew! Just writing about it is giving me the jitters. Thank God for the husband. I would have killed myself otherwise. February has been kind to us so far. Ashu's school is closed for ski break and we are as usual busier then school days. BFF and I are taking our respective girls for ski lessons through the week and we want to be put in a pedestal and given a medal for this brave endeavor but no one is biting. hmph!

I wanted to write so much and every time I had something interesting to share, I wrote down a few words in a notepad so that I can blog them later. Now I have words like "Pacifier, Ashu- big sis, Eraser(!), Memory, Phone call", etc... but for the life of me, I cant remember what I wanted to say! You guys lucked out, I guess! :)

Talking of phone call - why the hell cant I bring myself to say "Im busy right now. Can I call you later?" to anyone? I just cant! Im taking Kid 1 out of the bath with the phone stuck between my ear and shoulder and in excruciating pain but I cant tell the person, "hold on for a minute!" Its not like I dont try. But I just am not able to find the right pause to say that! It always seems like the wrong time to say, "I ll call you later!" This one time, Antu even fell down from the sofa and bumped her head and was howling and I ran to the other room so that whatever the caller was saying did nt get interrupted!!! (yes, yes. Hd took care of her! But the fact remains that I did nt care!) I can NOT multi task while on my phone. My sister even uses her mixer while talking to me. But I sit on the sofa or lie on the bed or walk here and there at the most. I hate using call waiting and while Im on the cordless, I dont pick up the cellphone if it rings! Even if its from God himself!! If its Hd, I pick up and keep on talking on the other phone, so he hangs up very irritated. I swat the kids away like mosquitoes if they come near me while Im on the phone. As if Im living a secret life and if the caller finds out I have kids, he or she will terminate me from the secret mission or something! While in fact the caller most of the time is a fellow mom! I think I will die of stress if I ever work from home and have to take calls! And in the rare cases that I do initiate to end the call, Im apologetic to the point of embarrassment! argh! Im such a doofus! How hard is it going to be to say, "Im potty training Antu. And she just had an accident and sprayed the whole playroom including her toy laptop, piano, guitar, a picture dictionary book and a coloring book which is totally drenched and which I mostly have to throw in the trash and make sure Ashu never ever finds out. And to make matters worse, she thinks she has to clean the mess and is "mopping" the floor with a facial tissue! Can I call you later? Like once shes in college?"

Madras Musings.

Ashu and I went to the Bombay Jayashree concert at the Krishna Gana Sabha. Fil had front row tickets and was begging us to go. I knew it was a bad idea to go with Antu. So Hd decided to stay home with her. Ashu was thrilled but after 45 minutes, she went to sleep. I had a wonderful time listening to Jayashree. Live. Wow! My first Margazhi Kacheri. Unforgettable experience.

Hd and I managed to watch Kamal Haasan's recent movie "Manmadhan Ambu". Was a pleasant watch but the last 30 minutes were horrible. I was squirming in my seat especially since we had a train to catch in a couple of hours and I was kicking myself that I decided to watch the movie instead of hanging around with my parents and saying teary goodbyes! We also watched Mynaa a couple of days earlier in the same awful theatre and loved it. The songs were wonderful. The performances were flawless. I felt the tragic end was so unnecessary but then it would have been an ordinary movie otherwise, I suppose. "Mynaa, Mynaa" is the current favorite song on non stop loop.

I listened to this particular SPB song many times on FM Radio whenever I was in the car. I had no idea what song it was or which movie it was from. After coming back to Zurich, I was you tubing the songs from Aadukalam and thats when I realized it was the "Ayyayo" song. And what a song! Sigh!

Talking about movies, let me list all the movies I watched on the plane while going and coming back.

Teen Patti (hated the end. Also I had watched 21. So was nt impressed)

Anjaana Anjaani (horrible)

I hate luv stories (was OK)

Udaan (brilliant movie. loved it)

Megamind (absolutely awesome. Must watch)

Thiru thiru thuru thuru (Tamil comedy. Was time pass)

Once upon a time in Mumbai (was good)

Can you believe that I'm now in a stage where I can watch movies on the plane instead of juggling two food trays in one hand while making a kid sleep in my shoulder and at the same time reading a book to another? I never thought I will get here. But I did. Yahooooooo!! Or may be it was because Hd was also flying with us and that there was Dora in the kids channel! Whatever! I am not complaining.

Shopping is such an exhausting experience in Madras. Uff. Especially being the Christmas/New year/Pongal season, there were oceans of people in every shop and theres no way I could take the girls if I wanted any shopping done. We stayed clear of Pondy Bazaar and Panagal Park after this one trip to a Jewellery shop to buy Golusu (silver anklets) for Ashu where Antu tried on a heavy gold necklace and tried to make a run for it!!

And whats with all the anti piracy laws when I see a shop right in the middle of a busy road selling DVDs of every recent movie? I mean he was selling "Tees Maar Khan" and I think it got released like half a day earlier!! I was trying to find some DVDs to teach Tamil alphabets for Ashu and the guy was asking if I wanted "Eesan"! I said no and the guy says "Neenga naalaiku varuveenga, Akka!"* to which I replied, "Naan varradhu irukkattum. neenga iruppeengalaa?"** and he laughs!

*You will come back tomorrow, Madam.

** But will YOU be here?

Hd and I managed to go out for one meal without the kids while in Madras at the new Japanese restaurant called Teppan at the Benjarong. Being vegetarians, we have never tried Japanese food before and if not in Madras then where else? The 9 course meal was just a fantastic experience. The main course was cooked right in front of us and the whole set up has been so thoughtfully designed. Another interesting restaurant we went to is Rasa. I fell in love with the menu when I saw "Thulasi Vadai" and "Nellikkaai Soup!" Yum yum yum yum Delicioso!

It was lovely to meet Itchy and the boys again. I was so jealous seeing Mr.Itchy's paintings on the walls. Immensely talented. The twins and my girls had their proper first playdate and it was a relief when the four of them kept themselves busy leaving Itchy and me to gossip! (I swear we did nt talk about you! ;) We managed to go out for a dinner too along with the whole jing bang family and it was such fun. I think I talked too much though. Did I even let you talk, Itchy?

I'm sure not all women do this. But I have this annoying habit of wearing some old salwar suits I keep in the cupboards in Madras every time I visit. I don't know whats in fashion and whats not and for the past so many years, its the same old faded green salwar kameez and the pale pink churidar kurta I wear, at least for the first few days before I go on a shopping binge. So theres quite a possibility that I might be mistaken for a maid! This one time a shop keeper refused to show me a box of hair clips because they were expensive and out of my range! ("Adhu ellam fifty rupees, madam!") You think I would be hurt? Nah!

You know what hurts me though? The clothing sizes! Whats up with them? I think someone up there seriously hates me. Let me tell you that it takes immense courage to even ask a salesperson to show you XL sized kurtas. And then you go to the trial room and try it and it does nt even fit you! And you are so mad and hate the whole world and come out cursing only to see the salesperson standing outside and asking you, "Shall I pack this, Madam?" Argh! I wish they built trial rooms with emergency exits! If this is nt an emergency...

And this one time I get inside an accessory shop and ask for glass bangles and the guy says "unga size illai, madam!"* I told him, "Kai la dhaanga pottuka poren, neenga kaattunga!"** Bloody hell!

*we don't have them in your size, madam.

** The bangles are for my wrists. So show them!

Madras is growing on me. While I was a staunch Anti-Madras at one point of time, it seems like every Madras trip is making me like the place a wee bit more than the previous time. I told the husband, "I cant wait to hit forty and become a true blue Madras Maami" much to his utter shock!

Long Live Grandpas!

I read MM's recent post and could nt stop grinning. Grandpas surely rock and its the same in this household where the girls think their Thatha is the best thing that happened to them after gummy bears! The girls don't even acknowledge my existence when Thatha is around. The only lap both of them fight for is their Thatha's. Ashu who is so restrained when it comes to showing her affection screamed a high pitch shriek and ran to my dad when she heard his voice at the door in Madras. She hugged him and held on to him like a lizard on the wall for five whole minutes! He is the one who tells them stories of his trademark "Singaaram Bingaaram". For hours. On the phone! No wonder Ashu says that he loves her Thatha the most in the whole wide world!

I know I'm being a total copycat but Im sure MM wont mind if I post the below photos. I have to because of the striking similarity. I swear they were nt photo shopped! :)

What did Ashu do in India?

Dont ask what a step ladder is doing in the middle of the living room? My wish is my grandpa's command!

In Mahabalipuram. Can you spot me?

In the crocodile park. I read that the crocodiles can jump. Is there one behind me? Tell me NOW.

I did nt succeed. But I did try climbing!

At the swimming pool in the resort we stayed in Cochin. Any chance to climb, I will!

A titanic moment in the house boat.

Feeding the fish from a wooden bridge in the resort at Kumarakom.

Holding onto my dear life! This was my grandma's idea of fun!

Now this is my idea of heaven!

For once, Im jumping in instead of climbing!

Who said an Oonjal cant be used as a jungle gym?

Climbing up to see what a water tank is!

Sitting on a terrace wall and wondering why theres no "maadi" in Zurich!

ps.

I was going through our India trip photos and was surprised that theres a pattern when it came to Ashu's photos. She truly "monkeyed" around a lot. I swear all the photos were taken in a span of 3 weeks and I had no idea that there was a theme going! ;)

Another one flies the coop.

Today was Antu's first day at play school. I was in tears in the morning. I felt pathetic for being so upset. God only knows how my mom let us go live in hostels and then let us get married! I dont remember being so upset when Ashu started school because she cried so much and took so much time to settle down that I had no time to think about my feelings. But Antu has been so excited and talking about this school non stop the last one month. "I am going to play school. My friend D is there.", she has repeating this a million times to anyone who would listen. After loads of deliberation, we as usual settled on a English speaking play school because of the comfort factor. And Antu will be starting two days a week to begin with. After dropping Ashu, Hd and I drove with Antu to her new school. We went in and I changed Antus shoes and she walked in. I was talking to the care givers for a few minutes, took a few pics and said bye to Antu. She waved to me and her dad and continued playing in the toy kitchen. I drove home and wondered about the point of my life staring at blank walls! One of the teachers called at 10.15 am to let me know that alls well and Antu is having fun. I cant believe Hd did nt think to hide the kitchen knives today!

So that Antu does nt feel bad, Im doing the same style of update as I did for Ashu.

What was playing in the car?

Antu's favorite "Kangal Irandaal". Hd switched on the music and this song started playing. We reached the school just when the song ended.

What was Antu wearing?

Ashu's old pants and a new full sleeve cream color top her dad bought her from London. Ashu's old sneakers and pink jacket.

What was she most excited about?

That she was going to "school" and that she is going to see D there.

What did she eat?

Milk, toast and quark at home for breakfast.

What was in her snack box?

The school gave her snacks. She said she ate bread and black colour nut!

Where is she schooling? Why this school?

Oooh! My chance to say that she's schooling in Switzerland! :) Its a small and sweet play school which is nearby and recommended by many friends.

How is Antu taking to School?

Like how I take to Jalapeno Poppers! Err.. like duck to water, I meant to say!

The day before first day of school.

It was a Sunday. Antu could nt understand "tomorrow" and insisted she wanted to go to school "now"!

The one thing that was more difficult than picking out the school itself.

Sigh! Dropping Antu and coming back to an empty house.

What I found most disturbing?

I called my mom after coming home and she did nt say "there! there!". Instead lectured me how to use my time when Antu is away! Cruella de Vil would have been more sympathetic, I tell you! hmph! Thankfully, my dad knew exactly how I felt and told me what a big mistake I have made by sending Antu to school. That felt good. :)

I picked up Antu at noon and she happily said bye to everyone, wore her shoes and followed me. This one just exists to break my heart. One tiny piece at a time.

Yathaa Sthaanam.

Sanskrit for "in its own place". I love the word. It fits us gypsies perfectly.

So much happened the past 4 weeks and I have duly forgotten what I wanted to write in the chaos of the past 2 days trying to settle into our routine. Its tough when the house is like an igloo and the daily chores beckon.

I remember this one incident which happened in Madras and I ll leave you with that. So we were coming back form Mahabalipuram and Hd wanted to get a cup of coffee and we stopped at the Cafe Coffee Day. We waited in the car while he went in. Ashu who is an avid reader these days read the name.

"Coffee coffee day? Thats funny!"

"Read whats written below, Ashu".

"A lot can happen over coffee?"

"Good Job."

"But what does it mean, Amma? What can happen?"

As always I gave my ready response. "You tell me, Ashu. Take a guess."

"Hmmm... The coffee can spill. Or the cup can break."

"ha ha ha"

"Am I right?"

"Absolutely!"

Zurich to Chennai to Kumbakonam to Coimbatore to Kumarakom.

And we still have two more weeks to go. Wonderful time is being had, needless to say. Though we had no plans for an India trip this December, it so happened that an official trip came up for Hd and we decided to tag along at the last minute. Convinced myself its only Kindergarten and made Ashu skip school from 1st of December. Though she was most reluctant to miss the school xmas party, the winter concert and Sami Claus visit, everything flew out of the window once she landed here and now she says she wants to go to school here and never wants to go back to Zurich! *gulp*

We were off to Kerala with my parents for 5 days. The resort in Kumarakom was wonderful and staying a day and night in the house boat was the highlight of the trip though keeping Antu alive in that most child-unfriendly house boat was another issue! Ashu saw uniform clad kids using the boat to go to school and was super thrilled. We visited the Guruvayoor temple on the last day on our way back to Coimbatore. It was quite an experience too what with standing in line for 2 1/2 hours to see Lord Krishna for 2 seconds! We saw a short Kathakali performance in Cochin and Ashu loved it. She was enthralled by the whole experience.

Good time is being had at porandha veedu right now what with my mother trying to potty train Antu, Ashus friends taking time in spite of half yearly exams to play with her, Hd happily munching on home made murukku and sipping filter coffee while I surf tv channels from 1 to 80 again and again and again not watching one program for more than 5 mins! Hd is not amused when I tell him that I don't want to come back to Zurich ever again either. He can be such a party pooper sometimes. :)

The Girl with the Purple Glasses.

I dont know if its a milestone or not but the big news is that Ashu is wearing glasses. So a little more than a month ago, I took her to the eye doctor. Somewhere around June, Hd and I felt that her eyes need to be checked. We both are short sighted and thought that the sooner she gets checked the better. She did nt show any signs though. Nothing we noticed, that is. We got an appointment only in October. One part of me was cool about it and another part of course was a little apprehensive. The retinal dilation drops were given three times and the test was in the evening, Ashu was too tired. And it was a horrible experience for me trying to make Ashu cooperate and get it over with rather than come another day and go through the same thing once again. The doctor and the nurse were extremely patient with her. She was tested and the doc confirmed that she needs glasses. I remember I was 12 when I was tested and I was over the moon that I can wear glasses because they were cool. My parents and sister are nt short sighted so I felt really special. Thankfully, kids are still the same and Ashu was thrilled that she can wear glasses. One of her friends from school wears glasses and two more boys we know wear them too. And of course she sees me and her dad with glasses almost all the time. So thankfully she was ok with the idea.

A week later, we were off to this big Optical shop in Bahnhofstrasse. A kind saleslady guided us and Ashu was treated like a princess. She showed us the frames and after trying a dozen of them, Ashu selected a purple one. It looked nice on her, I thought. We ordered the glasses and walked out with a balloon! And a week later, ta-da! Ashus first pair of glasses arrived! I spoke to her class teacher about it and she told me that she will have a talk with the class about it. Ashu skipped to school that day and came back even more happier! Phew. It has been a month now and she wears them regularly. She is very careful with them too. She takes it off carefully and puts it on top of the drawer before falling on the bed face first! Even when she's upset about something! Thats more than what can be said of her mother! It helps that she is like her father in some things, huh? :) Here she is happily drawing with the window glass crayons! Best thing I ever bought, I tell you! Madam was upset that I would nt hang a Happy Birthday banner for her fathers birthday so she took it upon herself to decorate. :) On that note, Happy Birthday Husband Dear!

ps.

I ll be on a short blog break. See you on the other side.

Movie going experience indeed!

Last Friday, BFF and I decided to go out for a movie. She, very wisely, took the train while I drove from home since the bus connection to my place is nt great after 11 pm. Big mistake. I was near the theatre at 8.00 pm for the 8.30 pm show but absolutely no parking spot. I circled that area a dozen times. No luck. (Im sure my Paati would be saying, "pillayaara pradhakshnam panninaa punyamaavadhu kidaikum. ippadi cinema theatre a suthi irukkiye*?")There were so many cars parked illegally and the nearby indoor parking garage which I had counted as my backup plan (because its uber expensive) was FULL. 700 parking spots and it was full! At 8 pm when none of the shops are open. Only restaurants, bars and cinemas. Guess every one decided to go out on the one day I decide to go watch a movie! And do you think its easy to out for a movie for us poor folks? The same time the previous week the husband and his friend decided to go for the very same movie (The Social Network. I ll come to it eventually.) They decided in the evening and vamoosed within an hour and even found a parking spot 2 mins from the theatre! But us? Me and some other friends talked, talked and talked about going out for a month. One or the other was always busy. Or the kids were sick. Or the baby sitter was nt available. Or the husband was traveling,... yaada yaada yaada. And at last, S and I decided enough is enough and that we both will go whether the other friends could come or not. Once the day was decided, then theres the whole planning for the day, of course. Make dinner, eat dinner, pray all Gods that the husband comes back from office in time to hold the fort, go online and find nearby parking garage from the theatre, say bye to the crying kids who are hanging by your feet,.. Ok the last bit is not true. Ashu actually said bye and slammed the door on me! But you get my point, right?

And after all this, I cant find a parking spot! Grr.... Anyway, parked at another Parkhaus and literally ran from there to the theatre in the freaking cold for 15 mins to reach the theatre in the nick of time! S was waiting for me with our tickets while I walked in panting like a dog. Once inside, more surprise awaited! First row seats!!! oh Goody! Thankfully the two corner seats next to us were free and we moved there and turned our heads in a 75* angle to the right so that we don't have to stretch our neck upwards! But then it was all worth it! What a movie! I loved it. What fantastic dialogues! And the casting was pitch perfect. Did anyone think of Sheldon when watching Zuckerberg on screen? I did. (May be the dialogue delivery?) Though I have watched The Fight Club, Seven, Panic room and liked them all, David Fincher was never in my favorite directors list. I dont know why. But with this movie, hes up there in my list. (slightly below Nolan, mind you!) And I read that Rooney Mara who played Erika, Zuckerberg's ex girl friend, is playing Lisbeth Salander in Fincher's next movie, The Girl With The Dragan Tattoo. I cant W.A.I.T! I read the Stieg Larson books only recently and loved them. Yet to read the third book though. S, the above mentioned friend, pulled a fast one on me by lending me only the first 2 books! Since I tried to beg, borrow or steal "The Girl who Kicked the Hornets Nest" and did nt succeed, Im going to buy it. Soon.

"Pay them. In the scheme of things, its just a speeding ticket" is so going to be my new motto for 2011. Its one of my favorite lines from the movie. But Hd is a bit wary. He thinks I mean, Pay "for" them, them being shoes, clothes and bags. Cant blame him, can I? ;)

* "You should walk around a temple instead of a theatre". (It sounds better in Tamil what with the rhyming words and all, trust me!)

What is Antu upto?

Antu is growing up so fast that it hurts me unbearably. I don't know if its with the second borns but with Ashu I was always looking forward to the next stage. May be now that I know whats coming, it pains me whenever Antu reaches a new milestone. Crazy, I know! A month ago, Hd was short listing play schools for Antu and I glared at him. "She so ready, ok?", he said. "But what about me? Im not ready to send her. Ever", I replied. "The thought of sending her to school feels like someone is stabbing at my heart with a knife and then twisting it!", I added. He sighed, shook his head and gave up. Shes almost 2 1/2 now and I know its a good idea to send her from Jan. But it breaks my heart. However weird that might sound, it truly does. Yesterday I took her to a new play school for a tour and she just went in, took her shoes and jacket off and went straight to the play room and started playing. As if she has been coming here every day all her life! She even found a friend. The boy is a friends son and she has seen him a few times before. And an hour later, when I was ready to leave after talking to the caregivers, I had to go and find her and she refused to come! So my brain tells me that shes so ready but my stupid heart is in denial. Hoping 2011 will knock some sense into me!

I was watching TV one day and there was this commercial for some charity. A picture of a starving, sick African baby. All skins and bones and lying on the ground. Looking straight into the camera with painful eyes. Since I had seen this ad many times before, I quickly turned my eyes away from the TV with a bit of a guilt. And I heard Antu say so cheerfully and loudly, "Look Amma. A baby!" And she had such genuine happiness in her face and was thrilled to see a fellow baby on screen. I was captivated by the childish innocence. When do we start losing it?

When we ask the dreaded question, "Whom do you like more? Amma or Appa?", she does nt waste a moment before answering "Appa!" The ungrateful brat! 5 years and counting and Ashu has never ever said anything but "both" to this question. Karma, surely! I remember I used to say "only Appa" when I was a kid. Actually, I think I still do! :)

And another day she brought a drawing to me and said "Lookit amma!" I think she was tired of always seeing her sister bring me drawings to show and get all the compliments. So I oohed and aahed at the drawing and asked her, "Who did this, Antu?" and she immediately answered, "Ashu did it." My poor little kid! Im sure she ll get there one day!

Antu is such a happy child with a smile pasted in her face all the time. She has to reach out and touch babies when she sees them. She has to go sit near kids in parks. She comes to us for random hugs. Shes delighted to see Ashu after school. Its just impossible to be mad at her for more than 2 seconds because she ll totally charm your pants off with the most sweetest "sorry"!

Needless to say, she has her dad neatly wrapped around her little finger. The other day I had a talk with Hd on how hes letting her get away with anything and that he has to be more stern. And his reply, "But she's a baby. She's not even three!" This is the same guy who gave time outs to Ashu when she was 2 years old, mind you!

Talking about time outs, Ashu hates this word even now and takes it as a huge insult if I say the T word. But Antu? Gives herself time out happily and goes and sits in a corner for 2 mins, apologizes, gives me a hug and walks away content as if she has taught me a lesson!! What the hell!

She uses her left hand most of the times and Im eagerly waiting to see if she's going to be left handed. Im a secret admirer of lefties. :)

Antu started eating chocolates very recently and is not a big fan yet. I know things might change rapidly but Im proud nevertheless.

Shes a total party girl. She loves to drop Ashu at school and then pick her up. Loves when Ashu has friends over. Loves when we go to a friends place. Loves to accompany us to the swimming pool for Ashu's class. Can name every one of Ashu's friends and their siblings to boot!

She has a special bond with men. Her dad, her uncle, her grandpa, friends son, a friends husband,... are a "leetle" more special than the boring women in her life!

Both Ashu and Antu have always been good sleepers. They give me grey hairs in the food department but if theres one thing I totally escaped from, its sleep deprivation. And thank God for that. Because to be honest I am quite murderous even after 8 hours of sleep! But while Ashu was always rocked to sleep as a baby or by telling a story after story for an hour in the dark until she went to sleep after she turned two, Antu learnt to sleep on her own ever since she turned 7 months old. She even tosses and turns for an hour sometimes before going to sleep and is quite content just lying on the bed. Just like her mom, I guess! ;) The other day at party in a friends place with house full of adults and kids, Antu was nowhere to be seen. I went to their kids bedroom to see Antu on their bed blissfully asleep hugging a stuffed bear while kids were making a ruckus just outside the room. My heart just swelled. Theres something about sleeping kids, I tell you. Especially when they are out like that in a party leaving you to eat the Kuzhi Paniyarams in peace! :)

What do you do all day long?

Thankfully I don't get the above question a lot. People are generally wary around me, I guess. But to answer that question, some days are so relaxing. The Sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Antu takes 3 hours naps and Ashu gets picked up by a friend after school and I have a relaxing, long day reading a book or surfing the net or watching TV. Amidst the housework, of course. And then there are other days. Like the day when I had to drop Ashu at 8.30 am, come back home, get myself and Antu ready, leave for the school again at 10 am for the assembly where Ashu and co were dancing, then come back home, get lunch for us both, clean up, then go back to school at 3 pm to pick up Ashu and her friend. Drive to a birthday party with them. Drop the kids off and get some groceries done. Go back and pick them up. Drop the other girl at her place. Come home and its already 7 pm. Get dinner ready, feed the kids, bed time routine, clean the house and then get something to eat for myself. And before I know its almost midnight and I'm still scrubbing the kitchen counter! I realize I ve spent most of the day driving! Its time I get a drivers uniform and call Ashu, "Madam", I guess!

And some other day when Antu has gymboree, Ashu has school, I have a lunch to go to, Hd is traveling, Ashu is bringing her friend to our house after school,... and its crazy fitting everything in one day and dragging Antu everywhere. But yesterday was the pits. Murphy would ve been really proud! So the morning went well. Ashu in school and Antu and I at home. Wednesdays are early finish for Ashu and usually Antu cant nap those days because I have to leave the house just before 2 pm. Even if she's asleep, I pick her up and by the time I get to the car, shes awake. Yesterday was the same. She had a late lunch and was in full form and not a little bit sleepy. Around 2 pm, we go to the school to pick up Ashu and her friend A who was coming home with us. So far so good. Around 3 pm, things start going downhill.

* Ashu is extremely tantrummy. Shes behaving very badly.

* Antu is a like a wrecking ball creating havoc where ever shes going and whatever shes touching.

* Poor A is clueless whats happening in this crazy household.

* I ask Antu to nap. She refuses.

* I ask Ashu to be nice to her friend and play with her. She refuses.

* I get snacks ready for the girls.

* Around 4.30 pm, I lose my patience and take Ashu to a room and yell at her so badly that shes howling.

* Antu meanwhile has made such a mess in one of the rooms that I take her aside and yell at her as well. Now shes howling too.

* Around 5 pm, I say enough is enough and get Ashu ready for the swim class which is at 5.30 pm. Pack up Antu and with A, get into the car. The idea is to drop A and then go the pool since the pool is very near A's house.
* The GPS does nt get started and I'm worried. I go in the general direction of the pool hoping the GPS will come alive in a while and lead us to A's house.

* Meanwhile Antu has fallen asleep! uh ho.

* We are almost near the pool and the GPS is still silent. I park the car on the curb and pray to all Gods. Thankfully, it comes alive. Phew.

*I drop A and rush to the pool. Its already 5.30 pm.

* Park the car, put the sleeping child in my shoulder, carry the bag and run inside with Ashu. 2 sets of stairs and 2 doors later, we are inside the dressing area. Ashu cooperates fully, changes and one more flight of stairs later, we are in the shower area. Ashu again showers by herself and I leave her with the teacher. Usually I hang around by the side while Antu plays in the kiddie pool since the class is only for 30 mins. But today I tell the teacher I ll be back and go back to the dressing rooms. The bench is not too comfy so I sit on the bottom most stair with Antu on my shoulder. Lets say I was only missing a disposable cup in front of me. Would ve made quite a bit of money if I had a cup since everyone who crossed gave a me a pity smile!!

* One of the class moms arrived in a while and said she ll bring Ashu to me after shes done. Long live her!

* I was playing carrot harvest in my phone. Could nt even call Hd since there was no network. and then the phone dies on me!!!! (Good move, Murphy!) And Im thinking to myself, "Ashu better give Michael Phelps a run for his money or else..."

* Ashu finishes her class, takes a shower and comes to me. We go to the dressing room and by this time Antu has opened her eyes but is cranky and crying. By this time, I cant feel my right hand because it has fallen off somewhere! I plonk her on the bench and help Ashu dry her hair and change her. Then I see that theres a door right next to the dressing area which directly goes to the car park. Hallelujah! Don't ve to struggle two flights of stairs. So we go out only to realize that I ve left the entry ticket card in the locker door itself! And these doors cannot be opened from outside. ARGH!

* 2 more flights of stairs again with a crying Antu and a whiny Ashu. I ask the receptionist if she can bring my card but she tells me I ve to go myself and gives me a temp card. At least I found the card. And I go back to give the temp card, thank her and walk out. Its already 6.30 pm and I have a farewell party to go to at 7.00 pm!

* You want me to stop now, don't you? Well I wanted it to stop too. But it did nt. So hear me out.

* As soon as I start the car, I see the tank is almost empty. I panic. Pray to all Gods and somehow reach the gas station near our house. I fill the tank, ask Ashu to wait in the car and that I ll be back in 2 minutes, lock the car and go inside to pay. Ashu can see me through the glass door. So can I. Of course, there have to be 4 people in front of me all buying their entire weeks groceries at a GAS STATION! I keep an eye out at the car and signal to Ashu. Then my turn comes and I pay. I come out to see that the car door is wide open and Ashu standing outside and she's crying! Right by the side of a busy road! I was so shocked that I go speechless for a second. There are a few people staring at the scene. I quickly bundle Ashu inside and ask what the heck does she think shes doing? She could nt see me when I was paying, got worried (because I was out of her sight for TWO SECONDS!), took off her seat belt, climbed to the drivers seat, unlocked the doors, opened the door, climbed outside, did nt know whether to leave Antu and come and get me so she started crying. Because she was scared! I banged my head against the wheel, told her how dangerous her move was which made her cry more, of course. Then hugged her and drove home.

* Hd was home. Murphy took pity on me, I guess. About time, I say! I quickly changed, gave the shorter version of my day to Hd and left the house to attend a school mom's farewell party. It was at a friends place and a dance party at that. "Munni badnaam hui" many times and for the first time in my life, I wished I drank!

So come on all you SAHMs. Tell me the worst day of your mommy life.(Leave a link or write in the comment section.) Parul had the By the Water Cooler contest for the working types. Let us have some fun too. May be I ll consider the working moms stories too if its really, really bad! ;) No prizes vrizes because I'm no celebrity author. But I got two shoulders you can cry on!

Whoever said that "Giving birth is the easiest part of Motherhood", show me your feet please. *does saashtaanga namaskaram*

Deepavali.

Every year, I get the blues on this day if I am out of India. This year is no exception. I try to make this day as exciting as possible for the kids but if theres no prospect of going out of the house bright and bushy tailed even before the sunrise and burst crackers, whats the point of getting up early and dressing up, pray tell? Nevertheless, I took Ashu and Antu out shopping yesterday and let them choose their new dresses. Ashu loved the experience and felt all grown up. I made Double ka Meetha sweet which Ashu and Antu refused to even try and Diamond biscuits which did nt even live to see daylight because Antu thought that that was dinner! Getting up early has never been a problem in this household. For the kids, I mean. So they got up around 5.30 am and came to our bed. And instead of swatting them away and curling up in my duvet like I always do, I yelled "Happy Deepavali" and got up much to their collective shock! But it was just the beginning. When I heated up some oil and massaged their hair with it, they crinkled their nose because of the strong smell and Antu who on regular days hates water in her hair, glared a "dont you dare at this time of the day!" look at me. Ashu was all whiny too. For a minute, I wondered what the whole point is! Ashu has school. Hd has office. As usual. What am I going to achieve by doing all this? Then I let out a deep sigh and decided I am not letting go of this tradition. Never. Its one of the strongest memories for me and if I close my eyes I can smell the arappu, nallennai and all the smoke form the burst crackers and sparklers. I did what any self respecting mother would do. "Do you guys know you can eat as many sweets as you want today? You can even eat your gummy vites first and then drink your milk, Ashu!" Bribe. Nothing works like bribe. Ashu could nt believe her ears. "Really, Amma? Wow!" And Antu who has never eaten a piece of chocolate until today and thinks that chocolates are "dirty" decided to change her mind and try one. Welcome to the big bad world of chocolates, my dear girl! If not on Deepavali, then when? Bathing, dressing up, etc.. were all done on fast forward with minimum crying by Antu. I decided to make Hd feel special too by making Pongal and Chutney and the man does nt know what hit him! Hes off to drop Ashu in school now. (Did nt I tell nothing works like bribe? ;) Parents, Sis, Bil and a special friend called to wish and now at 9 am, it does feel a little like Deepavali with my damp hair, the fragrance of incense sticks and candles lingering in the air, our new dresses with a touch of kungumam in them and a very tempting dabba of double ka meetha.

Wishing you all a wonderful, wonderful Deepavali!

Well! Well! Well!

YY has indeed arrived in the blog world.

Check out her recent post for some entertainment. I am so amazed by all the coincidence that Im quite speechless.

Let me try to decipher what happened.

1. YY posts her Golu photo in this post which she wrote last year.

2. SG decides to write a Golu post this year and searches for a golu photo in google images.

3. Of the millions of pictures, the one in Page 19 strikes his fancy and he uses it. (Im guessing here!)

So far so good.

4. When the commenters compliment on the Golu, hes quite non committal in the beginning. (Thats the conscience, I guess and one should always, always listen to it!)

5. But when commenter, Anu Bharat praises the Golu, he gracefully accepts the compliments!

Except that they are MY GRANDMOTHER and MOTHERs bommais!! (ok, ok. I got a little carried away too. "Our". Not "My". And now my sister's.)

6. A few days later, he participates in Paruls By the Watercooler contest.

7. A week later, Parul announces the winners and SG is one of the five winners. Parul links his blog.

8. YY reads that post and follows the link to SG's blog. (What are the odds, huh?)

9. And she randomly checks the archives only to see her own Golu photo staring back at her. (Again, what are the odds?)

Im shocked at all these coincidences. A Bay area resident writes about Bay area Navarathri complaining mostly about the food (on how theres no "originality"!) only to copy and use another Bay area residents Navarathri Golu photo (unknowingly, I hope!) and then not clarifying that its neither his picture nor his Golu.

Im so fascinated by this Butterfly Effect that Im neither angry nor upset about this theft. Just intrigued. :)