Dear Antu,
Its your turn to hit the Sweet Sixteen and its a lot when the baby of the house is growing up to be a young woman. On one side, there exists the feeling of "been there, done that". On the other side is the bittersweet feeling of "this is the last time". I have become a serious baby snatching aunty these days. I want to kidnap every baby in our friends circle and never want to give them back to their parents. Young parents are looking at me like I have conquered Mt. Everest with glowing respect in their eyes and when they ask for parenting advice, I am like “The kids raise themselves very well on their own. Just stay back and don’t interfere.” If only, I could go back in time and tell myself this. You still think I am a super woman and that your mom can accomplish anything. And that kind of unwavering trust makes me want to be the best I can. I hope I make you feel the same. You are the kindest and most forgiving and nicest teenager around and that’s the highest compliment I can give.
You finish Secondary school this year and move on to Gymnasium from August closely following your sisters foot steps. Too bad you both have never been in the same school at the same time as you are academically 4 years apart and every time you enter her school, she graduates. But its also a blessing in disguise. No-one wants that kind of sibling pressure. Ask me! Ashus high school graduation ceremony was grand this year and I had to give you a talk about unconscious bias and not to feel pressurized. High school is after all optional here in Swiss. And its not the be-all and end-all if one does not go to high school. There are various other options. Just saying. You are enjoying piano, pretending to enjoy tennis and truly hate badminton! Sadly, that’s the only game I am marginally good at, so grin and bear it, please.
Your relationship with your sister took a worst turn this year. I can only hope and pray it gets better with her moving out this year for college. May be the distance will make the hearts grow fonder. I can’t say exactly what changed. You used to worship her and run behind her for validation and approval. Then one day, you just did not care anymore. As parents, its heart breaking when the kids fall out with each other and we blame ourselves. But I remember going through similar phase with my sister and praying you both get back in track at some point in the near future. Otherwise, I would die of guilt. Yes, its all about me. Why do you ask? May your year be filled with abundance of Läderach dark chocolates, Ben and Jerrys Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream, Taylor Swifts songs, trips to your favorite destinations, interesting friends and inspiring teachers! Happy 16th birthday, Thangam!
On other news, I completely forgot to mark a milestone. Antu is successfully potty trained by day. It has been almost a month now and I cant believe we got to this point. I was most skeptical because she was nt showing any signs. She was going to playschool. She has to spend so much time in the car so I was wondering where to begin and how to manage. I just let her diaper free one Friday and it was a disaster! But Day 2 was slightly better and Day 3, she could tell me that she wanted to use the bathroom and there were no accidents. I still sent her in diaper to the play school that week but kept her diaper free at home. By that weekend, she was 100% consistent. So I sent her to playschool without diapers and told the caregivers to remind her to use the bathroom. And Voila! She did it! All on her own! Add to that, shes also showing signs that shes ready to be night trained because her diapers are always dry! I cant believe Ashu and Antu are such opposites! Even though Ashu was potty trained earlier than Antu, she took forever to be night trained. Anyway, so thats that! Im done with diapers! Forever! End of an era! :) Funny that 2 weeks back, the entire household used to go on red alert as soon as Antu said "SOO-SOO" and run to take her to the bathroom. Then it became, "wait a sec!" and then take her to the bathroom. Soon it was, "So? Go!" and poor thing started to pull the step stool closer, put the potty seat on top of the toilet, climb up, use the bathroom, etc... all on her own! Now she has even stopped telling us! I got up today morning to see her sitting on the pot and coolly reading a bath book!! And yesterday Ashu told her, "Let me use it first. You wait in line!" and she patiently did! How the times have changed!
Ashu has also successfully completed Level 1 of Skiing and is confidently skiing the beginner slopes(Level 2) using the ski lift and all! Best decision ever to put her and S, a friends daughter in a private class and taking them to the slopes every weekend regularly since January. The girls enjoyed each others company, had fun skiing and enjoyed the whole experience. And we feel we had a productive winter too! She has also taken to her brand new Skateboard with a vengeance. It has been sleeping in the cupboard for a year. A gift from my sister for her 5th birthday on her request. Shes growing up too fast for me and talking the talk and walking the walk! "You know what a ramp is Amma? You don't? Its an inclined plane!!", she told me yesterday! *gulp* I know I have always been telling her, "Use your words, Ashu! Use your words!" for everything! But the other day she did and how! Antu kept on kicking her under the table when they were eating dinner. Ashu told her to stop repeatedly but Antu would nt listen. So she says, "Whats the point, Antu? Why are you kicking me? Whats the point?" I swear I choked on my tea! 
You ve been going full days to school this whole year and loving everything about it. G is still your best friend and your teacher promised me that you both will be in the same class next year too because she does nt have the heart to break you two up. How sweet that you can make such strong bonds in such a young age! And when your teacher told me how you took M, the new girl in your class, under your wing and mothered her and made her feel welcome, I was so proud of you. Keep it up, dear. I do hope you don't clam up when I'm around though. I have nt heard you speak one word to your teachers or your classmates when I'm present. It breaks my heart not to see you bubbly and chatty but your teacher reassures me that you are very vocal otherwise. If I ask you, your reply is "But I'm shy, Amma!" Sigh!
We travelled so much this year and you ve been such a sport. You love staying at hotels and going by bus, tram and trains. You spent a considerable amount of time with your grand parents, uncle and aunt this year and I'm happy that we are able to pull this off year after year. You are so lucky to have such wonderful people in your life and that you see them a lot. I remember how you brave you were and did nt cry when we left India this time. And you understood when Paati left back to India after staying with us for almost 3 months. It amazes me to see how mature you are and how clearly you understand the rules of life. At the same time, you are absolutely certain that you want to visit your aunt and uncle this summer and even went on to tell your aunt over the phone, "You come here and take Antu and me with you to the US, Perimma. Let Amma and Appa stay back in Zurich"! Hmph!
The tantrums miraculously stopped when you hit 4 1/2. They do surface on and off but I can take that. And like you told me the other day, "I am not a robot, Amma" when I asked you to give me a big smile when you were upset about something! The cheek! By the way, you are the least materialistic person in this household. If its giving your car seat to your sister or the stroller or your clothes or your shoes, I have nt ever seen you even flinch. That's some trait I am still trying to acquire so hats off to you. Also, one can take you to a toy shop without a worry because you never seem to want anything that badly. You might point to something and ask me if we can buy it but you are very understanding if I say no. You have always been like this but I never thought its a big deal until I took your sister shopping the other day. Could you train her or something for me, pretty please?
You are so interested in reading and writing and the artsy-crafty stuff now that its not funny. I pack your writing pad, paper and pencils first before packing a snack for you when we go out these days. I have learnt to do so much this year that I'm quite surprised that I even have a creative side in me. You are everything I dreamed about, my dear girl. You are the perfect little five year old I imagined you will be. You know what I do to make myself feel better as a mom when I'm really, really feeling low? I compare myself to some really irresponsible adults. (I know that I tell you all the time not to compare but then have I ever lectured you on hypocrisy? Never.) But even in my lowest of lows, I never had to compare you to another child. And I promise I never will. Just shove this letter in front of my face if I ever did, OK? Love you with all my heart, my dearest Princess. Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!
At this rate, he might also put her in a bicycle class to learn cycling! (No! That was nt a suggestion, Hd!) She is in the one hour group ski classes for kids on weekends. Go 15 minutes before the ski class, pay and learn! (kootathoda govinda dhaan!) Shes having fun and after 4 weekends, shes able to walk with her skis on! We sledge for a while after her ski class is over and thats my kinda fun. Though Antu is her grumpiest best in snow! 
We went to a friends place for dinner a few days back. Their 5 year old son, as a rule, does nt like babies. Though he played well with Ashu, he was nt nice at all to Antu. Within an hour of being in their house, Antu came and told me, "anna naanaa. vaasalla ponum" (the boy no-no. wanna go out) and was all set to go wear her shoes and leave! Hd and I could nt believe our ears! That a nineteen month old could understand that she was nt wanted and could vocalize her feelings so well. Sigh! Wish I could too.
