27.06.2024

 Dear Antu,

Its your turn to hit the Sweet Sixteen and its a lot when the baby of the house is growing up to be a young woman. On one side, there exists the feeling of "been there, done that". On the other side is the bittersweet feeling of "this is the last time". I have become a serious baby snatching aunty these days. I want to kidnap every baby in our friends circle and never want to give them back to their parents. Young parents are looking at me like I have conquered Mt. Everest with glowing respect in their eyes and when they ask for parenting advice, I am like “The kids raise themselves very well on their own. Just stay back and don’t interfere.” If only, I could go back in time and tell myself this. You still think I am a super woman and that your mom can accomplish anything. And that kind of unwavering trust makes me want to be the best I can. I hope I make you feel the same. You are the kindest and most forgiving and nicest teenager around and that’s the highest compliment I can give. 

Any year in which we have met your grand parents and uncle and aunt multiple times is a good year and this year exceeded expectations. A summer wedding in India, Christmas at your aunts house, grand parents visit of three months, a surprise visit by your uncle, visiting your great grand mother and the extended family,…it was all very heart warming. You sang at everyones house without any argument and every day during Navarathri. You have a new online carnatic music teacher and things seem to go well in that department, You had a taken a break for a few months last year and I was very sad about it. I am glad you are giving it another chance.  Traveling to Ibiza was a highlight and you loved our stay there. Our ride in a red Vespa yelling “Silenzio Bruno” in Formentera would be etched in my memory forever. You have always been my most favorite travel partner and I am glad its still holding true.

You finish Secondary school this year and move on to Gymnasium from August closely following your sisters foot steps. Too bad you both have never been in the same school at the same time as you are academically 4 years apart and every time you enter her school, she graduates. But its also a blessing in disguise. No-one wants that kind of sibling pressure. Ask me! Ashus high school graduation ceremony was grand this year and I had to give you a talk about unconscious bias and not to feel pressurized. High school is after all optional here in Swiss. And its not the be-all and end-all if one does not go to high school. There are various other options. Just saying.  You are enjoying piano, pretending to enjoy tennis and truly hate badminton! Sadly, that’s the only game I am marginally good at, so grin and bear it, please.

Your relationship with your sister took a worst turn this year. I can only hope and pray it gets better with her moving out this year for college. May be the distance will make the hearts grow fonder. I can’t say exactly what changed. You used to worship her and run behind her for validation and approval. Then one day, you just did not care anymore. As parents, its heart breaking when the kids fall out with each other and we blame ourselves. But I remember going through similar phase with my sister and praying you both get back in track at some point in the near future. Otherwise, I would die of guilt. Yes, its all about me. Why do you ask? May your year be filled with abundance of Läderach dark chocolates, Ben and Jerrys Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream, Taylor Swifts songs, trips to your favorite destinations, interesting friends and inspiring teachers! Happy 16th birthday, Thangam!

Love,

அம்மா.