India Trip Report.

Four weeks in India was hectic as usual. Apart from the usual Madras and Kumbakonam trips, managed to go to Hyderabad for a weekend to see Utbt and family after three loooong years. The highlight of the trip was Ro, Utbt and me walking around Charminar in the middle of the night thanks to the Ramzan night market. What an awesome experience! A stomach bug which caused havoc to my system a day back could nt stop me from eating pani puri at Kailash Parbat and the yummy biscuits from Karachi Bakery! Ashu and Antu had a blast with Utbt's girls and it was so heart warming to see the foursome together having fun! In less than two days, they managed a pajama party, movie night, camping (in the hall!), swimming, building legos, reading, visiting park, shopping and million other little things. Talk about time management! Thanks Ro for taking time to meet us and it was lovely to see Ayaan and Tarana too. (Happy? I mentioned you first! :) When in Madras, Ashu did nothing except taking over a room and setting camp there with her Kobo. (See pic.) She would come out only during meal times!

Did nothing new in Madras this time except visiting the Vandaloor Zoo and Dakshin Chitra. And a fabulous puppet display near Kanchipuram organized by the Kanchi trust. And the Phoenix Mall, if you insist! And visiting friends and family too! Stayed a night in Pondicherry at a resort before proceeding to Kumbakonam and I enjoyed my first trip to Pondi. Visited the ashram, Auroville, a few temples, the beach, etc... While Hd and the in laws left from Kmu the next day and Hd to Zurich the day after, the kids and I stayed on in Kmu for one more week before doing the same. It was a week of doing nothing for me and it was pure bliss, as usual. I dont know what I will do if I don't get to recharge my batteries like that once a year or so. Long live Mothers!

The kids did nt want to leave the house and were busy with a cat and two kittens outside our house and all their friends and cousins from the colony who come after school to play with them. My parents were so thrilled about the Kallanai dam opening its gates and water flowing into Kaveri and Kollidam that we went all the way there to see it on Aug 5th. The kids hated road trips there and had to be dragged out! "I dont know why Thatha is so excited that theres water in Kaveri! Are nt rivers supposed to have water?!!", asked Ashu! Poor girl! Thatha and Paati, of course, were over the moon and were photographing like crazy! The girls found a bouncy castle and a few rides on the other side of the dam and were quite happy! I just wanted to get back so that we can buy the Ashoka Halwa at Thiruvaiyaru before the shop (Aandavar Halwa Shop) runs out of it! It was devamirtham, if you must know! :) The next day, Antu said that she had a dream that Kaveri came and asked her to come and see her and when she went, there were crocodiles in the river! Im still analyzing that one! :)

A trip to Swamimalai Temple and an Aandaal Kalayanam at my Aunts house rounded off the trip nicely. Not to mention Ashu falling down and majorly scraping both her knees! The scar will remind her of this trip for a long, long time! I had long chats about many, many things with my grandma cuddling to her in bed and wished I were a kid! She is 98 now and according to Antu she is going to die soon because shes almost 100! I know teaching this kid math was bound to come back and bite my behind! When it was time to leave Kmu, Antu started bawling that she wanted my mom to come too! Ashu blinked many times and declared that she hated me! I guess everyone has their own coping mechanisms! I had the halwa handy! My dad accompanied us to Madras. Antu bored me to death by telling awful slug jokes from Panruti to Vikravandi and the horrible, horrible roads paled in comparison!

Loaded with boxes from Krishna Sweets, more kurtas than I need, a million children's books, home made pickles and bakshanams and a vague memory of watching Mariyaan at Thyagaraja theatre, we came back to Zurich with a heavy heart last Wednesday. I have been walking around with a lump in my throat ever since! Where the hell did I keep that dabba of halwa? *blinks back tears*

Ashu's First School Trip.

Hd and I got married one fine day in June and about 2 weeks later, he joined work. It was around 8 am and he was getting into his car and I was standing near the gate waving goodbye and felt this huge lump in my throat! Tears were about to roll down my cheeks and I did nt want him to see them so I just smiled and went inside. But he knew. We never talked about it later and even to this day, almost 13 years later, its hard for me to see him leave even if hes just going to get the mail! But of course the feeling is nt as intense as it was the first time he left and I even forgot how intense it could be and how hollow it makes you fell. Until yesterday. 

Ashu left on a school trip. Her stupid school trip! (Thats what I ve been calling it for the past one month, much to her annoyance!) I was all fine until the weekend. Then I started worrying! How will she manage! What would she do! What would I do! We bought her a new suitcase, a new sleeping bag, packed her stuff, gave her a million instructions, quizzed her on trivial things and when the day and time arrived, my dad, Hd and I walked her to school. She saw her best friend and stuck to her. The friends mom and I looked at each other and could nt say much because both of us had worry written all over our faces! The girls climbed into the bus, sat next to each other and buckled their seat belts. For a minute, I thought of grabbing her and running away! Hd was keeping an eye on me because he was sure I would do something utterly crazy! My dad kept on asking Ashu "Are you sure you want to go?" and Ashu was rolling her eyes at him! I took a photo and waved and blew her a kiss and the bus went on its way! This was Monday morning 9.40 am! I will see and hear from her next on Friday 2.30 pm! Needless to say, Im a nervous wreck! I cant even remember a day I did nt talk to Ashu in the last 8 years and now I cant hear her voice for over 3 1/2 days! I dont know what shes doing, what shes eating, what shes wearing,...! Sigh!

The house is eerily silent in spite of 4 adults and Antu! And the lump in my throat and the butterflies in my stomach are refusing to leave! Sorry Hd, the first time you left is a walk in the park compared to this one. But Im glad you are suffering along with me because I cant do this alone!

I know there would be many, many more trips and good byes but I dont think I ll ever forget this day. I dont want to.

The Last Day of Many Things.

This week has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me. Farewells and goodbyes are tough for me and when I have to do that for myself and my two girls, its so overwhelming! Today was Ashu's last day in First grade. Even on a good day that would bring tears to my eyes and now that she is not going to return to the same school, it makes it a million times worse! It was Antu's class performance yesterday in her school and she got a trophy and a certificate for finishing pre school and since shes not going to return to this school as well, it made me an emotional wreck! I cried all the way home today after dropping Ashu. Antu was also unusually quiet in the car! Wonder why we realize how much we love something only when we let it go! 

Antus German playgroup will go on for a few more weeks but for Ashu, its going to be a looooong holiday of NINE weeks! I dont know what I was thinking when I decided to stay put here for the holidays! This is going to be our first summer here not counting 2008 when Antu was born. (I did nt even see any sunlight that summer since I was stuck at home!)  Wish me luck!

Will leave you guys with a little anecdote. I finished vacuuming the house and asked Ashu to put the vacuum away. Next thing you know, I hear Antu crying! When asked why, she says, "I wanted to pull your plug Amma! But Ashu pulled your plug instead!" Sigh! My future looks so bright!

A Milestone I dreaded: The F Word.

Loads of friends have told me how their kids said the F word, how shocked they were, how the kids wanted to know the meaning of the word, how they were stumped, etc.. etc... etc... I kind of worried too but Ashu is a kind of kid who instinctively seems to know what will make me happy or upset and she ll avoid asking anything which she thinks will upset me or get her into trouble. Not always, I can assure. But mostly. So I knew I had a long time before I had to face that kind of a situation. But then, one can only dream!

Ashus best friend, G had come home today for lunch and we were all eating at the table. Antu with her "impeccable" table manners had to say "yuck" for God knows what and G immediately gasped, "Oh my God! Antu just said the F word!" I froze. "Its a bad word!", G added! I was speechless. I looked at Ashu who was looking at G curiously! "She said "yuck", G!", I mumbled. "Really? Do you know what the F word is?", she asked. "Forget me. How do YOU know?", I managed to ask. "Oh my sister told me. It is F***! Its a very bad word and we should never say it!". Very clear! "Thats right! Lets not say it then. Why don't we talk about butterflies? Or fairies? or Rainbows?" The girls started giggling and the situation was diffused. Phew.

Was that the end? Of course not. Come bedtime, Ashu asked me the dreaded question. "What is the meaning of the F word, Amma?" Sigh!

"Have you heard the word before, Ashu?"

Quite a defensive "No!"

"Its just a bad word, Ashu. And you will get into a lot of trouble if your teachers hear you say that, ok?"

"Is it a bad word like Stupid?"

"Its much, much worser that stupid."

"Is it a bad word like sissy?"

"What the F***!" (Ok, I did nt say that! But really!)

"Excuse me? Where do you hear words like these? Dont you guys have classes to attend while in school?"

"I heard it in recess, Amma! A called B a sissy because he said he likes pink!"

"Ok, Ashu! Thats another word you cant use, ok? Thats all Im saying!"

"I ll never use it Amma. I just want to know the meaning."

"We ll talk about it when you are a bit older, Ashu! How about two stories today, huh? Once upon a time..."

Im so making Hd handle it when its Antus turn. Which might even be tomorrow for all you know!

Bye- Byes and BFFs.

S and I came to Zurich pretty much the same time a little more than 4 years back. I would nt say we clicked immediately. Im sure the prim and proper S said Hi to me so as not to be rude! :) Her daughter, another S, and Ashu are of the same age. Their birthdays are a week apart. Our respective husbands were working for the same company then. This was all it needed to become friends in a strange country. Our friendship grew with each meeting and I think it was sealed when I announced I was pregnant with Antu and she said, "me too!" She went on to have a beautiful baby boy 2 months after Antu was born. I was in heaven. We compared notes on breast feeding, sleep training, teething, ... and we were truly together in sickness and health! :)

Its so difficult to develop friendships once ones out of school and college. There seems to be a little formality especially when you see the other person as the husband's colleague's wife. I think I crossed that stage when more than a year back when I was really sick and Hd was traveling and I picked up the phone and the only person I could call was S. I decided she is my BFF whether she likes it or not! Also, shes immensely creative and talented and has magic in her hands. It would be easy to have her as a friend and admire her instead of being distant and jealous! ;)

We went on many trips together as a family and our daughters bonded. Too bad that Antu and Y could nt follow their sisters' footsteps. (Though Antu did bully the boy whenever she got a chance!) Their decision to go back to India happened very suddenly and before I could get over the shock, they were packed and ready to go. Two weeks is too less to reminisce about the four years together. Eight of us ladies went to dinner on Friday to bid adieu to S and we ended up laughing so much that my jaw still hurts. I could nt have cried even if I wanted to. Then we met them again on Sunday for lunch. Ashu wrote and illustrated a book for her BFF instead of an usual card. It was uber sweet.

Bye bye, dear Friend. You will be sorely missed. Like Ashu said, "Its so unfair!" When I told another friend that S was leaving, her immediate reaction was, "Oh God! What are you going to do?" Sigh! What AM I going to do without you, S? :(

Madras Musings.

Ashu and I went to the Bombay Jayashree concert at the Krishna Gana Sabha. Fil had front row tickets and was begging us to go. I knew it was a bad idea to go with Antu. So Hd decided to stay home with her. Ashu was thrilled but after 45 minutes, she went to sleep. I had a wonderful time listening to Jayashree. Live. Wow! My first Margazhi Kacheri. Unforgettable experience.

Hd and I managed to watch Kamal Haasan's recent movie "Manmadhan Ambu". Was a pleasant watch but the last 30 minutes were horrible. I was squirming in my seat especially since we had a train to catch in a couple of hours and I was kicking myself that I decided to watch the movie instead of hanging around with my parents and saying teary goodbyes! We also watched Mynaa a couple of days earlier in the same awful theatre and loved it. The songs were wonderful. The performances were flawless. I felt the tragic end was so unnecessary but then it would have been an ordinary movie otherwise, I suppose. "Mynaa, Mynaa" is the current favorite song on non stop loop.

I listened to this particular SPB song many times on FM Radio whenever I was in the car. I had no idea what song it was or which movie it was from. After coming back to Zurich, I was you tubing the songs from Aadukalam and thats when I realized it was the "Ayyayo" song. And what a song! Sigh!

Talking about movies, let me list all the movies I watched on the plane while going and coming back.

Teen Patti (hated the end. Also I had watched 21. So was nt impressed)

Anjaana Anjaani (horrible)

I hate luv stories (was OK)

Udaan (brilliant movie. loved it)

Megamind (absolutely awesome. Must watch)

Thiru thiru thuru thuru (Tamil comedy. Was time pass)

Once upon a time in Mumbai (was good)

Can you believe that I'm now in a stage where I can watch movies on the plane instead of juggling two food trays in one hand while making a kid sleep in my shoulder and at the same time reading a book to another? I never thought I will get here. But I did. Yahooooooo!! Or may be it was because Hd was also flying with us and that there was Dora in the kids channel! Whatever! I am not complaining.

Shopping is such an exhausting experience in Madras. Uff. Especially being the Christmas/New year/Pongal season, there were oceans of people in every shop and theres no way I could take the girls if I wanted any shopping done. We stayed clear of Pondy Bazaar and Panagal Park after this one trip to a Jewellery shop to buy Golusu (silver anklets) for Ashu where Antu tried on a heavy gold necklace and tried to make a run for it!!

And whats with all the anti piracy laws when I see a shop right in the middle of a busy road selling DVDs of every recent movie? I mean he was selling "Tees Maar Khan" and I think it got released like half a day earlier!! I was trying to find some DVDs to teach Tamil alphabets for Ashu and the guy was asking if I wanted "Eesan"! I said no and the guy says "Neenga naalaiku varuveenga, Akka!"* to which I replied, "Naan varradhu irukkattum. neenga iruppeengalaa?"** and he laughs!

*You will come back tomorrow, Madam.

** But will YOU be here?

Hd and I managed to go out for one meal without the kids while in Madras at the new Japanese restaurant called Teppan at the Benjarong. Being vegetarians, we have never tried Japanese food before and if not in Madras then where else? The 9 course meal was just a fantastic experience. The main course was cooked right in front of us and the whole set up has been so thoughtfully designed. Another interesting restaurant we went to is Rasa. I fell in love with the menu when I saw "Thulasi Vadai" and "Nellikkaai Soup!" Yum yum yum yum Delicioso!

It was lovely to meet Itchy and the boys again. I was so jealous seeing Mr.Itchy's paintings on the walls. Immensely talented. The twins and my girls had their proper first playdate and it was a relief when the four of them kept themselves busy leaving Itchy and me to gossip! (I swear we did nt talk about you! ;) We managed to go out for a dinner too along with the whole jing bang family and it was such fun. I think I talked too much though. Did I even let you talk, Itchy?

I'm sure not all women do this. But I have this annoying habit of wearing some old salwar suits I keep in the cupboards in Madras every time I visit. I don't know whats in fashion and whats not and for the past so many years, its the same old faded green salwar kameez and the pale pink churidar kurta I wear, at least for the first few days before I go on a shopping binge. So theres quite a possibility that I might be mistaken for a maid! This one time a shop keeper refused to show me a box of hair clips because they were expensive and out of my range! ("Adhu ellam fifty rupees, madam!") You think I would be hurt? Nah!

You know what hurts me though? The clothing sizes! Whats up with them? I think someone up there seriously hates me. Let me tell you that it takes immense courage to even ask a salesperson to show you XL sized kurtas. And then you go to the trial room and try it and it does nt even fit you! And you are so mad and hate the whole world and come out cursing only to see the salesperson standing outside and asking you, "Shall I pack this, Madam?" Argh! I wish they built trial rooms with emergency exits! If this is nt an emergency...

And this one time I get inside an accessory shop and ask for glass bangles and the guy says "unga size illai, madam!"* I told him, "Kai la dhaanga pottuka poren, neenga kaattunga!"** Bloody hell!

*we don't have them in your size, madam.

** The bangles are for my wrists. So show them!

Madras is growing on me. While I was a staunch Anti-Madras at one point of time, it seems like every Madras trip is making me like the place a wee bit more than the previous time. I told the husband, "I cant wait to hit forty and become a true blue Madras Maami" much to his utter shock!

Another one flies the coop.

Today was Antu's first day at play school. I was in tears in the morning. I felt pathetic for being so upset. God only knows how my mom let us go live in hostels and then let us get married! I dont remember being so upset when Ashu started school because she cried so much and took so much time to settle down that I had no time to think about my feelings. But Antu has been so excited and talking about this school non stop the last one month. "I am going to play school. My friend D is there.", she has repeating this a million times to anyone who would listen. After loads of deliberation, we as usual settled on a English speaking play school because of the comfort factor. And Antu will be starting two days a week to begin with. After dropping Ashu, Hd and I drove with Antu to her new school. We went in and I changed Antus shoes and she walked in. I was talking to the care givers for a few minutes, took a few pics and said bye to Antu. She waved to me and her dad and continued playing in the toy kitchen. I drove home and wondered about the point of my life staring at blank walls! One of the teachers called at 10.15 am to let me know that alls well and Antu is having fun. I cant believe Hd did nt think to hide the kitchen knives today!

So that Antu does nt feel bad, Im doing the same style of update as I did for Ashu.

What was playing in the car?

Antu's favorite "Kangal Irandaal". Hd switched on the music and this song started playing. We reached the school just when the song ended.

What was Antu wearing?

Ashu's old pants and a new full sleeve cream color top her dad bought her from London. Ashu's old sneakers and pink jacket.

What was she most excited about?

That she was going to "school" and that she is going to see D there.

What did she eat?

Milk, toast and quark at home for breakfast.

What was in her snack box?

The school gave her snacks. She said she ate bread and black colour nut!

Where is she schooling? Why this school?

Oooh! My chance to say that she's schooling in Switzerland! :) Its a small and sweet play school which is nearby and recommended by many friends.

How is Antu taking to School?

Like how I take to Jalapeno Poppers! Err.. like duck to water, I meant to say!

The day before first day of school.

It was a Sunday. Antu could nt understand "tomorrow" and insisted she wanted to go to school "now"!

The one thing that was more difficult than picking out the school itself.

Sigh! Dropping Antu and coming back to an empty house.

What I found most disturbing?

I called my mom after coming home and she did nt say "there! there!". Instead lectured me how to use my time when Antu is away! Cruella de Vil would have been more sympathetic, I tell you! hmph! Thankfully, my dad knew exactly how I felt and told me what a big mistake I have made by sending Antu to school. That felt good. :)

I picked up Antu at noon and she happily said bye to everyone, wore her shoes and followed me. This one just exists to break my heart. One tiny piece at a time.

The Girl with the Purple Glasses.

I dont know if its a milestone or not but the big news is that Ashu is wearing glasses. So a little more than a month ago, I took her to the eye doctor. Somewhere around June, Hd and I felt that her eyes need to be checked. We both are short sighted and thought that the sooner she gets checked the better. She did nt show any signs though. Nothing we noticed, that is. We got an appointment only in October. One part of me was cool about it and another part of course was a little apprehensive. The retinal dilation drops were given three times and the test was in the evening, Ashu was too tired. And it was a horrible experience for me trying to make Ashu cooperate and get it over with rather than come another day and go through the same thing once again. The doctor and the nurse were extremely patient with her. She was tested and the doc confirmed that she needs glasses. I remember I was 12 when I was tested and I was over the moon that I can wear glasses because they were cool. My parents and sister are nt short sighted so I felt really special. Thankfully, kids are still the same and Ashu was thrilled that she can wear glasses. One of her friends from school wears glasses and two more boys we know wear them too. And of course she sees me and her dad with glasses almost all the time. So thankfully she was ok with the idea.

A week later, we were off to this big Optical shop in Bahnhofstrasse. A kind saleslady guided us and Ashu was treated like a princess. She showed us the frames and after trying a dozen of them, Ashu selected a purple one. It looked nice on her, I thought. We ordered the glasses and walked out with a balloon! And a week later, ta-da! Ashus first pair of glasses arrived! I spoke to her class teacher about it and she told me that she will have a talk with the class about it. Ashu skipped to school that day and came back even more happier! Phew. It has been a month now and she wears them regularly. She is very careful with them too. She takes it off carefully and puts it on top of the drawer before falling on the bed face first! Even when she's upset about something! Thats more than what can be said of her mother! It helps that she is like her father in some things, huh? :) Here she is happily drawing with the window glass crayons! Best thing I ever bought, I tell you! Madam was upset that I would nt hang a Happy Birthday banner for her fathers birthday so she took it upon herself to decorate. :) On that note, Happy Birthday Husband Dear!

ps.

I ll be on a short blog break. See you on the other side.

What do you do all day long?

Thankfully I don't get the above question a lot. People are generally wary around me, I guess. But to answer that question, some days are so relaxing. The Sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Antu takes 3 hours naps and Ashu gets picked up by a friend after school and I have a relaxing, long day reading a book or surfing the net or watching TV. Amidst the housework, of course. And then there are other days. Like the day when I had to drop Ashu at 8.30 am, come back home, get myself and Antu ready, leave for the school again at 10 am for the assembly where Ashu and co were dancing, then come back home, get lunch for us both, clean up, then go back to school at 3 pm to pick up Ashu and her friend. Drive to a birthday party with them. Drop the kids off and get some groceries done. Go back and pick them up. Drop the other girl at her place. Come home and its already 7 pm. Get dinner ready, feed the kids, bed time routine, clean the house and then get something to eat for myself. And before I know its almost midnight and I'm still scrubbing the kitchen counter! I realize I ve spent most of the day driving! Its time I get a drivers uniform and call Ashu, "Madam", I guess!

And some other day when Antu has gymboree, Ashu has school, I have a lunch to go to, Hd is traveling, Ashu is bringing her friend to our house after school,... and its crazy fitting everything in one day and dragging Antu everywhere. But yesterday was the pits. Murphy would ve been really proud! So the morning went well. Ashu in school and Antu and I at home. Wednesdays are early finish for Ashu and usually Antu cant nap those days because I have to leave the house just before 2 pm. Even if she's asleep, I pick her up and by the time I get to the car, shes awake. Yesterday was the same. She had a late lunch and was in full form and not a little bit sleepy. Around 2 pm, we go to the school to pick up Ashu and her friend A who was coming home with us. So far so good. Around 3 pm, things start going downhill.

* Ashu is extremely tantrummy. Shes behaving very badly.

* Antu is a like a wrecking ball creating havoc where ever shes going and whatever shes touching.

* Poor A is clueless whats happening in this crazy household.

* I ask Antu to nap. She refuses.

* I ask Ashu to be nice to her friend and play with her. She refuses.

* I get snacks ready for the girls.

* Around 4.30 pm, I lose my patience and take Ashu to a room and yell at her so badly that shes howling.

* Antu meanwhile has made such a mess in one of the rooms that I take her aside and yell at her as well. Now shes howling too.

* Around 5 pm, I say enough is enough and get Ashu ready for the swim class which is at 5.30 pm. Pack up Antu and with A, get into the car. The idea is to drop A and then go the pool since the pool is very near A's house.
* The GPS does nt get started and I'm worried. I go in the general direction of the pool hoping the GPS will come alive in a while and lead us to A's house.

* Meanwhile Antu has fallen asleep! uh ho.

* We are almost near the pool and the GPS is still silent. I park the car on the curb and pray to all Gods. Thankfully, it comes alive. Phew.

*I drop A and rush to the pool. Its already 5.30 pm.

* Park the car, put the sleeping child in my shoulder, carry the bag and run inside with Ashu. 2 sets of stairs and 2 doors later, we are inside the dressing area. Ashu cooperates fully, changes and one more flight of stairs later, we are in the shower area. Ashu again showers by herself and I leave her with the teacher. Usually I hang around by the side while Antu plays in the kiddie pool since the class is only for 30 mins. But today I tell the teacher I ll be back and go back to the dressing rooms. The bench is not too comfy so I sit on the bottom most stair with Antu on my shoulder. Lets say I was only missing a disposable cup in front of me. Would ve made quite a bit of money if I had a cup since everyone who crossed gave a me a pity smile!!

* One of the class moms arrived in a while and said she ll bring Ashu to me after shes done. Long live her!

* I was playing carrot harvest in my phone. Could nt even call Hd since there was no network. and then the phone dies on me!!!! (Good move, Murphy!) And Im thinking to myself, "Ashu better give Michael Phelps a run for his money or else..."

* Ashu finishes her class, takes a shower and comes to me. We go to the dressing room and by this time Antu has opened her eyes but is cranky and crying. By this time, I cant feel my right hand because it has fallen off somewhere! I plonk her on the bench and help Ashu dry her hair and change her. Then I see that theres a door right next to the dressing area which directly goes to the car park. Hallelujah! Don't ve to struggle two flights of stairs. So we go out only to realize that I ve left the entry ticket card in the locker door itself! And these doors cannot be opened from outside. ARGH!

* 2 more flights of stairs again with a crying Antu and a whiny Ashu. I ask the receptionist if she can bring my card but she tells me I ve to go myself and gives me a temp card. At least I found the card. And I go back to give the temp card, thank her and walk out. Its already 6.30 pm and I have a farewell party to go to at 7.00 pm!

* You want me to stop now, don't you? Well I wanted it to stop too. But it did nt. So hear me out.

* As soon as I start the car, I see the tank is almost empty. I panic. Pray to all Gods and somehow reach the gas station near our house. I fill the tank, ask Ashu to wait in the car and that I ll be back in 2 minutes, lock the car and go inside to pay. Ashu can see me through the glass door. So can I. Of course, there have to be 4 people in front of me all buying their entire weeks groceries at a GAS STATION! I keep an eye out at the car and signal to Ashu. Then my turn comes and I pay. I come out to see that the car door is wide open and Ashu standing outside and she's crying! Right by the side of a busy road! I was so shocked that I go speechless for a second. There are a few people staring at the scene. I quickly bundle Ashu inside and ask what the heck does she think shes doing? She could nt see me when I was paying, got worried (because I was out of her sight for TWO SECONDS!), took off her seat belt, climbed to the drivers seat, unlocked the doors, opened the door, climbed outside, did nt know whether to leave Antu and come and get me so she started crying. Because she was scared! I banged my head against the wheel, told her how dangerous her move was which made her cry more, of course. Then hugged her and drove home.

* Hd was home. Murphy took pity on me, I guess. About time, I say! I quickly changed, gave the shorter version of my day to Hd and left the house to attend a school mom's farewell party. It was at a friends place and a dance party at that. "Munni badnaam hui" many times and for the first time in my life, I wished I drank!

So come on all you SAHMs. Tell me the worst day of your mommy life.(Leave a link or write in the comment section.) Parul had the By the Water Cooler contest for the working types. Let us have some fun too. May be I ll consider the working moms stories too if its really, really bad! ;) No prizes vrizes because I'm no celebrity author. But I got two shoulders you can cry on!

Whoever said that "Giving birth is the easiest part of Motherhood", show me your feet please. *does saashtaanga namaskaram*

Deepavali.

Every year, I get the blues on this day if I am out of India. This year is no exception. I try to make this day as exciting as possible for the kids but if theres no prospect of going out of the house bright and bushy tailed even before the sunrise and burst crackers, whats the point of getting up early and dressing up, pray tell? Nevertheless, I took Ashu and Antu out shopping yesterday and let them choose their new dresses. Ashu loved the experience and felt all grown up. I made Double ka Meetha sweet which Ashu and Antu refused to even try and Diamond biscuits which did nt even live to see daylight because Antu thought that that was dinner! Getting up early has never been a problem in this household. For the kids, I mean. So they got up around 5.30 am and came to our bed. And instead of swatting them away and curling up in my duvet like I always do, I yelled "Happy Deepavali" and got up much to their collective shock! But it was just the beginning. When I heated up some oil and massaged their hair with it, they crinkled their nose because of the strong smell and Antu who on regular days hates water in her hair, glared a "dont you dare at this time of the day!" look at me. Ashu was all whiny too. For a minute, I wondered what the whole point is! Ashu has school. Hd has office. As usual. What am I going to achieve by doing all this? Then I let out a deep sigh and decided I am not letting go of this tradition. Never. Its one of the strongest memories for me and if I close my eyes I can smell the arappu, nallennai and all the smoke form the burst crackers and sparklers. I did what any self respecting mother would do. "Do you guys know you can eat as many sweets as you want today? You can even eat your gummy vites first and then drink your milk, Ashu!" Bribe. Nothing works like bribe. Ashu could nt believe her ears. "Really, Amma? Wow!" And Antu who has never eaten a piece of chocolate until today and thinks that chocolates are "dirty" decided to change her mind and try one. Welcome to the big bad world of chocolates, my dear girl! If not on Deepavali, then when? Bathing, dressing up, etc.. were all done on fast forward with minimum crying by Antu. I decided to make Hd feel special too by making Pongal and Chutney and the man does nt know what hit him! Hes off to drop Ashu in school now. (Did nt I tell nothing works like bribe? ;) Parents, Sis, Bil and a special friend called to wish and now at 9 am, it does feel a little like Deepavali with my damp hair, the fragrance of incense sticks and candles lingering in the air, our new dresses with a touch of kungumam in them and a very tempting dabba of double ka meetha.

Wishing you all a wonderful, wonderful Deepavali!

Ashu and Antu - The almost five year old girl and the 20 months old baby.

It has been 3 months since the last update on the girls and Im shocked at how much they ve grown up in such a short period. I also went through my archives to read about Ashu when she was 20 months and got all teary. We came to Zurich when Ashu was 21 months old. So in another month, Antu will be that old and I feel a lump in my throat. Until now I ve always been picturing Ashu in our Bangalore house whenever comparing Antu to Ashus toddler days. I cant believe Antu is a big girl now. Just like the big girl who I brought with me to Zurich from Bangalore. And that in turn is making me realize how even more bigger Ashu is. Sigh! But the good news is that I ve every piece of Ashus clothes from that age in my basement. So you can kiss goodbye to new clothes, Antu! Nothing new for you anymore! :)
(Thats Ashu on the left aged 20 months.)

Ashu has gone through a remarkable change in a short time. I'm proud to say shes not a time bomb anymore. (hurray!) Shes very independent, matured and more responsible now. If anyone had told me that I ll live to see this day 3 months back, I would ve punched their face for kidding me!

Antu is already following her big sister. She wears her jacket, shoes, cap,... all on her own and waits near the door for me when we are going out. So what if the jacket buttons are not done and shes wearing the shoes in the wrong feet? Shes trying, is nt she?

Ashu is also slowly exploring the world of vegetables. I don't want to make a big deal about it because I don't want to jinx it. But I ll let you know that I'm wriggling my behind and doing a war dance and typing these lines with my toes! Right now its only raw carrots, corn and boiled and salted beans, cauli flower, broccoli, peas, etc... but Im not a fool to complain!

Antu is in the middle stage where she eats mashed food for meals and anything and everything during the snack time. I ve to slowly phase the mashed food out. But the good news is that at last, shes willingly drinking 2 glasses of a milk everyday. Im doing the war dance again here.

Ashu is having a busy life with school, skiing, skating, birthday parties, play dates,... She loves her school to bits. And that's the only reason she agreed to come back from our US trip. She also finally wished "good morning" to the teacher who receives her from the car every morning. Yes, after seeing the same teacher every day for the past 2 years - she finally said a word to her! She also has nt spoken a word to the skating teacher after seeing her every day for a week and to the skiing instructor after 6 weekends! I ll update again after 2 years on that front!

Antu is the total opposite here. Wishes everyone and happily goes to anyone. Loves outdoor. I take her to Kids Care in my gym at least twice a week and to a Mommy & Me music class once a week. She loves both. Theres this absolute joy in her face during the music class that I'm feeling bad for not taking her early on. Looks like music or dance will be her calling. And I'm not saying this only because she shakes her tiny butt to "Excuse me Mister Kandasami!" :)

Ashu went through this phase for a week where she ll come back from school, see what Antu is wearing and then go to her wardrobe and select clothes in the same colour. Drove me crazy when she could nt find the exact match and one time, I had to dress Antu in the same orange pjs for three days straight! Its never a dull day, I tell you. These kids come up with weird stuff just to keep us in our toes.

Whenever I yell at Antu, she screams "Akkaaaaaaa" and Ashu comes running to her. Once I had to hear a long lecture from Ashu on how Antu is just a baby and I should just give her what she wants and should nt be yelling at her. She even issued a stern warning - "Don't do this ever again, Amma. OK?" Of course, all this lecture is conveniently forgotten when Antu is grabbing something from her.

Though Ashu is protective and possessive about her sister, its Antu who has this unwavering adoration for her Akka and I can say with absolute certainity that Amma and Appa rank very lowly in her list. Especially Amma!! *rolls eyes* One can clearly see the divide that Ashu is a mommy's girl and Antu is a daddy's girl.

Ashu is very into reading and writing these days and even practises on her own a lot. So I ve to sit with her to help her out. Wonder why I'm paying so much for the school if I ve to do all the work! She also draws like theres no tomorrow. Her life ambition is to make a drawing for everyone she knows in this world. The other day she wrapped birthday gifts for her classmates using scissors and cellotape. Also wrote a happy birthday note and stuck it on the present. Without zero supervision from me. Though my hands were itching to rewrap the gifts, I resisted because Im a good girl. (OK. I was afraid to face the consequences if Ashu found out. Happy?)

Antu can sing loads of rhymes. Can point things and say what they are in her books. Can even recognize a few alphabets. She has none of the mazhalai(babbling) like Ashu had when she was this age. She speaks clearly. The only babble she says is busserbee which is butterfly. That's only because all of us at home keep referring it as busserbee and not butterfly because we are afraid she ll stop saying busserbee! I mean, wheres the fun then?

Antu is into Noddy, Dora, Diego, Mickey Mouse and Barney. She loves Good night Moon, Brown Bear Brown Bear, Polar bear Polar bear and the first words books. Oh and the nursery rhymes books. She can say what nursery rhyme it is in every page. And to think that we don't even read to her that much.

Ashu is still going strong with Dora, Diego,etc... and in books, she loves Curious George, Charlie and Lola, DW(from the Arthur books) and generally anything and everything if someone is ready to read it to her. I ve got her lots of Usborne early reading books and they are super.

The almost five and almost two age group is good. Its like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Only time will tell if its the light from an oncoming train. Till then, the going is good.

The Karmic connection between Saakku Pai and Ballet.

When I was in college, post grad, I used to take a bus or my bike(kinetic) to get there. Some days, my dad used to drop me in his car if he had some work in that area. So this one day, I was getting ready and he offered a ride. I accepted and we walked to the car. The scene that met me was unbelievable. You cant guess even if I give you a million years. Imagine! A 20 year old getting dropped by her dad to college. A car whose entire back is loaded with saakku pai (jute bags) filled with some stuff. My dads boss is sitting in the passenger seat. The office security guy in full uniform ,with a huge moustache to boot, is sitting in the back holding the saakku pais in place so that I ve room to sit at the back!!! I double backed and told my dad that I ll take my bike after all, I ve to go to a friends house after class. He gave me a look and said, "vandeela eru"! (Get in!) Not wanting to create a scene before his boss, I did,while cursing him under my breath. I mean, is he a Moron? Which self respecting girl will sit amidst saaku pai and get dropped in college? We made some small talk with the boss and neared my college.

As soon as the side gate of my college came to view, I screamed ,"Stop here, Appa. I ll go through this gate". But fate was nt on my side that day. "No no. You ve to walk a long way if you go via this gate. Let me take you to the main gate. Saar wants to see your college campus too", said the man! Why, God, why? What did I ever do to you? Was this because I made fun of Shanthi when she came to school one day with a shaved head when we were four? Or because I pulled Chitras legs since she and her 3 siblings came in a Maatu vandi(bullock cart) to school? Or was it because I sniggered at Gundamma Ratnamala who brought this huge tiffin carrier(It was anju adukku, for Gods sake!) for lunch? It had to be Karma coming to bite my behind!

So dad pulls inside the main gate. Oh yes, my secret crush is standing right near his bike talking to some friends. He had to be there, right? And some of my classmates too. Oh, goody! "Stop here, Appa", I say again trying hard not to yell. But no. the man does nt get a hint even if the said hint is dancing butt naked in front of his eyes with a huge neon sign! He stops the car at last, right in the middle of the parking area. All eyes are in the car. I try to open the door and wriggle out. But the security guy is faster and wanting to prove hes worthy of the pay check, gets down first and with his side of the door left wide open, comes running to my side and opens the door for me. As if the Maruthi 800 stuffed with saaku pai was nt enough, the security guy opens the door for me as well! If ever there was a time I prayed Mother Earth to swallow me whole, that was it! I just gave my best dirty look to my father and muttered, "You could nt have stopped at the side gate, could you?" and walked inside with my head bent. Nothing dreadful happened actually in college. At least nothing that lasted more than a couple of days. I could always count on Sharmila and her current new boy friend to take over any other news! But I remember the feeling of humiliation. Till this day. May be I over reacted, may be I was just shallow, may be I was just silly, but the embarrassment was true.

I relived this incident last week. But from this side of the fence. It happened when Ashu told me, "You dont have to come to school to help me get ready for the ballet class, Amma. I can do it myself." And if this simple statement can hurt me so much when in fact she said that because she believes shes a big girl now and can dress up herself, how much more will it hurt me when she starts getting embarrassed by me? Sigh! Refer to my Karma statement on Paragraph 2. Circle of life, my dears, Circle of life. Its vicious.

With a heavy heart.

Last day at my parents'. Off to Madras tomorrow and then to Zurich on Tuesday. I don't know if Im relieved or sad. I told Ashu the other day, "Look Ashu, you should nt cry at the airport like last time. This time Appa is not here and Im alone with you and Antu. So you ve to cooperate ok?" My dad interrupted and said, "No,no.Sshes a good girl. She wont cry. Will you, Ashu?" "Yes thatha, I will cry", replied Ashu. Sigh! Was packing like crazy today. Seems as if I ve already developed roots here. The kids toys and books are all over the house. Our clothes are neatly stacked in the cupboard and I dont feel like packing them off and see an empty shelf. I dont know how my folks are going to bear it when they come back here from Madras to an empty house. Especially Antus soft babble and Ashus ear piercing "thaaaathaaaaa".

(Oh by the way, my knight in shining armor (Hd for the uninitiated!) is on his way to Madras fom ZRH right now. He ll reach tomorrow and then accompany us back on Tuesday. A sudden decision he took yesterday. I begged him not to and to please give me the ticket money in cash instead. The man would nt relent. But its such a relief. Suddenly I feel less burdened. As if someone took a load off my chest. Thanks, hon.)

In the evening, I was sitting on the terrace looking at the sky. Every evening, a flock of bight green parrots keep flying from one tree to another. Some 20 of them, either in small flocks or in one big flock. I can hear their loud "kee, kee, kee" a whole minute before spotting them. One cant see their color if we look at them against the blue sky. But when they all turn in unison against the backdrop of the huge neem tree, the gorgeous green color is sure to take ones breath away. It takes mine away every time. I dont think it can ever get boring. I have never been as blissful as I am at that moment. The going and sitting in the terrace waiting for the birds, then to hear their voice, then to see the flock and wait with bated breath just to get the glimpse of the green, the smile it brings to your lips, then just like that, the birds disappear. You dont know if you are happy or sad. But you are hopeful. That there will be a tomorrow. Somehow, all this makes me understand how my parents feel. For their grand kids. Sorry, Ma&Pa.

On that note (a la Tharini ;), wipe your tears and get ready for Ashus latest fad for silly jokes. Heres a sample.
Why did Tigger look into the toilet?

(scroll down)

He was looking for Pooh!

ROTFLOL!