A Milestone I dreaded: The F Word.

Loads of friends have told me how their kids said the F word, how shocked they were, how the kids wanted to know the meaning of the word, how they were stumped, etc.. etc... etc... I kind of worried too but Ashu is a kind of kid who instinctively seems to know what will make me happy or upset and she ll avoid asking anything which she thinks will upset me or get her into trouble. Not always, I can assure. But mostly. So I knew I had a long time before I had to face that kind of a situation. But then, one can only dream!

Ashus best friend, G had come home today for lunch and we were all eating at the table. Antu with her "impeccable" table manners had to say "yuck" for God knows what and G immediately gasped, "Oh my God! Antu just said the F word!" I froze. "Its a bad word!", G added! I was speechless. I looked at Ashu who was looking at G curiously! "She said "yuck", G!", I mumbled. "Really? Do you know what the F word is?", she asked. "Forget me. How do YOU know?", I managed to ask. "Oh my sister told me. It is F***! Its a very bad word and we should never say it!". Very clear! "Thats right! Lets not say it then. Why don't we talk about butterflies? Or fairies? or Rainbows?" The girls started giggling and the situation was diffused. Phew.

Was that the end? Of course not. Come bedtime, Ashu asked me the dreaded question. "What is the meaning of the F word, Amma?" Sigh!

"Have you heard the word before, Ashu?"

Quite a defensive "No!"

"Its just a bad word, Ashu. And you will get into a lot of trouble if your teachers hear you say that, ok?"

"Is it a bad word like Stupid?"

"Its much, much worser that stupid."

"Is it a bad word like sissy?"

"What the F***!" (Ok, I did nt say that! But really!)

"Excuse me? Where do you hear words like these? Dont you guys have classes to attend while in school?"

"I heard it in recess, Amma! A called B a sissy because he said he likes pink!"

"Ok, Ashu! Thats another word you cant use, ok? Thats all Im saying!"

"I ll never use it Amma. I just want to know the meaning."

"We ll talk about it when you are a bit older, Ashu! How about two stories today, huh? Once upon a time..."

Im so making Hd handle it when its Antus turn. Which might even be tomorrow for all you know!

What do you do all day long?

Thankfully I don't get the above question a lot. People are generally wary around me, I guess. But to answer that question, some days are so relaxing. The Sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Antu takes 3 hours naps and Ashu gets picked up by a friend after school and I have a relaxing, long day reading a book or surfing the net or watching TV. Amidst the housework, of course. And then there are other days. Like the day when I had to drop Ashu at 8.30 am, come back home, get myself and Antu ready, leave for the school again at 10 am for the assembly where Ashu and co were dancing, then come back home, get lunch for us both, clean up, then go back to school at 3 pm to pick up Ashu and her friend. Drive to a birthday party with them. Drop the kids off and get some groceries done. Go back and pick them up. Drop the other girl at her place. Come home and its already 7 pm. Get dinner ready, feed the kids, bed time routine, clean the house and then get something to eat for myself. And before I know its almost midnight and I'm still scrubbing the kitchen counter! I realize I ve spent most of the day driving! Its time I get a drivers uniform and call Ashu, "Madam", I guess!

And some other day when Antu has gymboree, Ashu has school, I have a lunch to go to, Hd is traveling, Ashu is bringing her friend to our house after school,... and its crazy fitting everything in one day and dragging Antu everywhere. But yesterday was the pits. Murphy would ve been really proud! So the morning went well. Ashu in school and Antu and I at home. Wednesdays are early finish for Ashu and usually Antu cant nap those days because I have to leave the house just before 2 pm. Even if she's asleep, I pick her up and by the time I get to the car, shes awake. Yesterday was the same. She had a late lunch and was in full form and not a little bit sleepy. Around 2 pm, we go to the school to pick up Ashu and her friend A who was coming home with us. So far so good. Around 3 pm, things start going downhill.

* Ashu is extremely tantrummy. Shes behaving very badly.

* Antu is a like a wrecking ball creating havoc where ever shes going and whatever shes touching.

* Poor A is clueless whats happening in this crazy household.

* I ask Antu to nap. She refuses.

* I ask Ashu to be nice to her friend and play with her. She refuses.

* I get snacks ready for the girls.

* Around 4.30 pm, I lose my patience and take Ashu to a room and yell at her so badly that shes howling.

* Antu meanwhile has made such a mess in one of the rooms that I take her aside and yell at her as well. Now shes howling too.

* Around 5 pm, I say enough is enough and get Ashu ready for the swim class which is at 5.30 pm. Pack up Antu and with A, get into the car. The idea is to drop A and then go the pool since the pool is very near A's house.
* The GPS does nt get started and I'm worried. I go in the general direction of the pool hoping the GPS will come alive in a while and lead us to A's house.

* Meanwhile Antu has fallen asleep! uh ho.

* We are almost near the pool and the GPS is still silent. I park the car on the curb and pray to all Gods. Thankfully, it comes alive. Phew.

*I drop A and rush to the pool. Its already 5.30 pm.

* Park the car, put the sleeping child in my shoulder, carry the bag and run inside with Ashu. 2 sets of stairs and 2 doors later, we are inside the dressing area. Ashu cooperates fully, changes and one more flight of stairs later, we are in the shower area. Ashu again showers by herself and I leave her with the teacher. Usually I hang around by the side while Antu plays in the kiddie pool since the class is only for 30 mins. But today I tell the teacher I ll be back and go back to the dressing rooms. The bench is not too comfy so I sit on the bottom most stair with Antu on my shoulder. Lets say I was only missing a disposable cup in front of me. Would ve made quite a bit of money if I had a cup since everyone who crossed gave a me a pity smile!!

* One of the class moms arrived in a while and said she ll bring Ashu to me after shes done. Long live her!

* I was playing carrot harvest in my phone. Could nt even call Hd since there was no network. and then the phone dies on me!!!! (Good move, Murphy!) And Im thinking to myself, "Ashu better give Michael Phelps a run for his money or else..."

* Ashu finishes her class, takes a shower and comes to me. We go to the dressing room and by this time Antu has opened her eyes but is cranky and crying. By this time, I cant feel my right hand because it has fallen off somewhere! I plonk her on the bench and help Ashu dry her hair and change her. Then I see that theres a door right next to the dressing area which directly goes to the car park. Hallelujah! Don't ve to struggle two flights of stairs. So we go out only to realize that I ve left the entry ticket card in the locker door itself! And these doors cannot be opened from outside. ARGH!

* 2 more flights of stairs again with a crying Antu and a whiny Ashu. I ask the receptionist if she can bring my card but she tells me I ve to go myself and gives me a temp card. At least I found the card. And I go back to give the temp card, thank her and walk out. Its already 6.30 pm and I have a farewell party to go to at 7.00 pm!

* You want me to stop now, don't you? Well I wanted it to stop too. But it did nt. So hear me out.

* As soon as I start the car, I see the tank is almost empty. I panic. Pray to all Gods and somehow reach the gas station near our house. I fill the tank, ask Ashu to wait in the car and that I ll be back in 2 minutes, lock the car and go inside to pay. Ashu can see me through the glass door. So can I. Of course, there have to be 4 people in front of me all buying their entire weeks groceries at a GAS STATION! I keep an eye out at the car and signal to Ashu. Then my turn comes and I pay. I come out to see that the car door is wide open and Ashu standing outside and she's crying! Right by the side of a busy road! I was so shocked that I go speechless for a second. There are a few people staring at the scene. I quickly bundle Ashu inside and ask what the heck does she think shes doing? She could nt see me when I was paying, got worried (because I was out of her sight for TWO SECONDS!), took off her seat belt, climbed to the drivers seat, unlocked the doors, opened the door, climbed outside, did nt know whether to leave Antu and come and get me so she started crying. Because she was scared! I banged my head against the wheel, told her how dangerous her move was which made her cry more, of course. Then hugged her and drove home.

* Hd was home. Murphy took pity on me, I guess. About time, I say! I quickly changed, gave the shorter version of my day to Hd and left the house to attend a school mom's farewell party. It was at a friends place and a dance party at that. "Munni badnaam hui" many times and for the first time in my life, I wished I drank!

So come on all you SAHMs. Tell me the worst day of your mommy life.(Leave a link or write in the comment section.) Parul had the By the Water Cooler contest for the working types. Let us have some fun too. May be I ll consider the working moms stories too if its really, really bad! ;) No prizes vrizes because I'm no celebrity author. But I got two shoulders you can cry on!

Whoever said that "Giving birth is the easiest part of Motherhood", show me your feet please. *does saashtaanga namaskaram*

At the breakfast table today - 2.

So there I was making tea and singing loudly "Govinda, Govinda Feel The Fire Govinda" while Ashu was drinking her milk.

Ashu - Amma? Did you say feel the fire? But fire is dangerous amma. You said I should nt play with fire!

Me - !!!!

What now? A woman cant sing(in my case yell!) peacefully in her own house?!! The little brat sings about cows jumping over the moon, black birds baked in a pie, boughs breaking and cradles falling without batting an eyelid but has problems with "feel the fire"? Is she kidding me? What kodumai, I say!

ps.
No Appa & Amma. I usually don't go about singing random Kollywood songs first thing in the morning. You both did nt bring me up that way. But today was an exception and its sort of a Saami Paattu anyway, no? :) And dont worry. I ll never ever sing "Kalyanam dhaan kattikittu odi polaamaa" in front of your beloved grand daughters ever. At least not this early in the morning! ;)

“To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.”

He does something stupid. I tell him so. In trying to defend himself, he digs a deeper hole for himself. I yell and scream. He ignores me. I throw things. He walks away. In frustration, I rant to my mom. She asks me to be patient. Tells me not to yell and scream and throw things because its wrong. I yell at her. She tries to calm me down. Tells me that my temper has always been my worst enemy.

What about the person who started all this? He goes scot free. He gets sympathies. Hes patient incarnated. People think he puts up with me . Hes a saint. But hey, but what about the stupid thing he did? Its all forgiven because I threw things and that's pretty stupid too and how can I be so hyrpcritical and accuse him? The end.

ps.
my sis perhaps will take my side. But that's because shes biased. So no one will pay heed to her.