Halloween, Horror and an empty kitchen shelf.

How do kids know what to be afraid of? This evening, I answer the door to see 2 Witches, a Monster, an older girl who's escorting the kids and another 3 year old in plain clothes. (May be her mom thought she is scary enough just being herself! I can use the idea next year and save money on a costume!) Anyway, Ashu gave a wild scream and ran away and hid in the bathroom. My scream died in my throat because, horror of horrors, I had totally forgotten to stock chocolates. So I asked the kids to wait and ran to the kitchen to look for some. Found some Easter Chocolates, a gift from a friend, which was on the top shelf and I had totally forgotten to eat after stashing away to hide them from Hd! After checking the expiry date(which was 11/07, I hope the kids eat the chocolates by midnight today!), gave 2 eggs per kid and still had a big bunny shaped one which the Monster snatched from me. Then he took the mask off and smiled at Ashu who was standing in a corner and peeking. She screamed more and ran back to the bathroom. I shut the door, told Ashu all about Halloween and dressing up and told her not to be scared. Since I have nt seen more than half a dozen kids in this apartment, I thought I was good. But the door bell rang again after 10 minutes and there they were. An angel with her two handsome escorts all around 4 years looking so cute. Ashu liked the trio and asked them to wait while Mommy was back again on the step stool looking for chocolates in the top shelf. God was on my side today as I found 3 more bars of chocolates.(Probably I was stocking for my hibernation!) Another team successfully sent off. Than I called Hd and gave him an earful. Why should I do everything in this house? Why could nt you have reminded me of Halloween and stocked up some chocos? He pleaded guilty so I had to shut up. Hes wisening up, this one! Afraid of more Trick or treating, I collected the lollipops from each one of my handbag, backpack, purse etc... and had a stock of 5 lollipops. (The orange flavored sour lollipops I keep in my bags in case of motion sickness!) A ghost and a pirate came by a little later and went off with the lollipops. Half an hour later, the doorbell rang yet again and gave me jitters. Ashu who had warmed up to ghosts and monsters by now, ran to the door to see her Dad coming in. She has never been so disappointed in her life seeing her dad come back from office. She gave him the remaining three lollipops and asked him "Nee vesham pottukaliyaa?" (You did nt dress up?) Is nt he scary enough, Kid?

Speaking of dressing up, this is Ashu all dolled up for Krishna Jayanthi last month. Last years Krishna has become Radha this time! :)

ps.

Update on Ashu at 30 months.

"Amma, this is a cow."
"Yes dear."
"Amma this is cows udder."
"Yes. Right."
"Ashus milk comes from the cows udder. Cow udder gives milk and I drink slurp slurp."
Good job Ashu. Thats right.
(Bending down to look between her legs) "Amma, Where is Ashus udder?"

By now, I have run away from the room and locked myself in the bathroom just about when she started to bend down, expecting the Question. This of course does nt stop her. She pounded on the bathroom door and asked, "Amma do you have an udder? Does Appa have an udder?" Amma is of course busy cursing the illustrator of the book who has to go and draw such protruding udder to a silly cow prompting young kids to ask what it is!

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Watching me rinsing the rice and switching on the pressure cooker, "Amma does rice come from Cow?" There we go again with the Cows!

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I tighten her ear rings once a day and in India I used to tell her that if I did nt, the ear rings will fall off and the lizards will take them away. So the other day she would nt let me tighten her hair band and I told her to let me do it or else the lizard will take it away. So she says, "No Amma the lizards wont take it away" and I ask Why? And she says "There are no lizards in Zurich"! She has got a logic, does nt she?

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Questions like Cant you hear me, Don't you see I'm busy, Are nt you a good girl, Are you going to drink/eat it or not, etc... are answered with a stern NO!

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If I say something like "Open your eyes and see Ashu, the red puzzle is just there", she will widen her eyes more with her fingers and then look and say "No Amma. I cant find it".

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She had an imaginary cat for a while after we returned from India. I knew she was missing her grand parents and all the dogs and cats she befriended there but I did nt know whether to encourage it or not. Sometimes she ll say "Amma, the cat went susu here" or "Amma look the cat is running" and I did nt know whether to go along or not. When I started saying "Yes Ashu, the cat is running", she sort of gave a shocked expression. "Has Mom finally lost her marbles? I was only kidding" kind of a look. Then when my cousin had come, she gave me a perfume bottle which purrs like cat whenever you lift it. So Ashu adopted it as her pet and now has a "real" cat.

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She has to know everything thats going on around the house. Whom did you talk to on the phone, what did they say, why are you shouting at dad, what did he do, Are you angry at him, Are you going to give him time out, What are you cooking, Is it Sambar, what are you cutting, Is it onion, are you going to cry while cutting it, Whats in the microwave, is it for Ashu, Are you going susu or potty, are you finished, Shall I give you some toilet paper,...

****She has to switch on the light on her own when she enters a room and will promptly switch it off when she leaves. Even when I am still in the room reading a book! The kitchen has an extended dining area. I walk between the table and the counter to take and keep stuff. She ll stand near the switch board and switch OFF the dining area light when Im in the kitchen and will switch OFF the kitchen light when Im standing in the dining area. "One light Enough Amma", she ll say loudly! Hd and I have never taught her this. This she must have inherited straight from my DAD!

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She recites about a dozen nursery rhymes with ease. Its a pleasure listening to her. Her current favorite is Mary had a little lamb, Itsy bitsy Spider and Jack & Jill. And to think that she learnt to sing all of them in a span of a month.

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The other day I called my in laws and Ashu was speaking to my FIL and singing rhymes to him and showing off and enquiring about the dogs, cats and cows there. Then my MIL came on the phone but Ashu would nt talk to her. I cajoled her to talk and my MIL talked about the cats and dogs to keep her interest. Though Ashu talked to her a little, she would nt recite rhymes to her. Since they were on speaker phone and while my MIL interrupted her to correct(!) her while she sang the rhymes, Ashu screamed "NO! DON'T SING!". After the call ended, I asked Ashu why she was nt talking to P Paati. She said, "P Paati is BAD BOY. I wont talk to her". I was dumbfounded. When I asked why she said Chumma. Then of course, I had to go on a lecture on how she can never say that about elders and how there are no bad boys anywhere(yeah right!) and she has to like everyone especially family and talk to them. (Am I a hypocrite or what!)

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One day she saw a strand of hair on the floor and asked me if its Ashus. I said yes. So she tried to stick it back on her head. I told her that the hair wont stick again and it will fall off. So she held one hand to her head to hold that hair and was walking around for quite some time. What did I tell you about her logic?

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Please tell me all kids do this. Off late, Ashu mutters under her breath repeating whatever it is that I am saying to her. Anything that comes out of my mouth is being repeated in a hush hush voice and practised for future use. Its downright scary, I tell ya. All that information shes storing in that little brain of hers! Oh My God, she can actually have me arrested if she repeats certain things in public!

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In one of the Dora episodes, Dora is seen with a camera and taking pictures of animals. So Ashu tells me, "Amma, Dora has a camera. She is taking photos like you"! Whoa! You know how much that means to me, Kiddo? Comparing me to the THE Dora? I'm honored!

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These days, when she wants to go No 1, she goes to the bathroom, switches on the light, puts her potty seat on top of the pot, pulls the step stool closer, climbs on it, takes off her pants, sits and does her job, gets up, wears her pant, gets down from the stool, flushes the toilet, moves the stool near the sink, climbs on, opens the tap, controls it so that water flow is slow, washes her hands, squeezes soap, rinses, closes the tap, gets down, dries her hands with a towel, moves the step stool back under the sink, switches off the bathroom light and comes out. All the while I'm hiding behind the door and watching her with a proud smile and all teary eyed! My baby girl does nt need me anymore when she wants to pee. Ah! The travails of motherhood!

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I have found it. I have...

I noticed this tag going around the blogs about "our song" and was wondering what our song was. Sadly we did nt include it in the prenup! ;) I thought back to our Post Engagement days. The movie Kandukonden kandukonden had just released and Hd and I decided to wait until we got married to watch the movie as we wanted that movie to be our first. The wedding date was set, for your information and there was a month or two to go. We both were listening to the songs from this movie all the time. The music was and still is amazing what with A R Rehman composing the music, Rajeev Menon directing and a heavy duty cast with Aishwarya Rai, Tabu, Mammooty, Ajith and Abbas. (Its inspired from Sense and Sensibility) I listened to the title song all the time and was always imagining myself and Hd together. Hds favorite song in this movie was also the same. So its one of our favorite songs still and that song came to me as soon as I read some blogs. Then Sahithi's Mom tagged me and it became official. The customary question of "whats our song, R" was asked today to the better half fully expecting him to blink and stare at me without a clue of what I'm talking about. So imagine my surprise when he takes 2 seconds and asks me "kandukonden,kandukonen?" And I was blown away! I was the one blinking and doing the staring. So even if this was nt our song before, it is now!

Heres the song beautifully rendered by Hariharan and Mahalakshmi Iyer - Kandukonden Kandukonden.

And here are the Lyrics. I have tried a line by line literal translation in English with my funny take (in italics) about it now. How naive I must have been! Ewwwww...

Here I go...

(Male)
I have found it. I have found the face to fall in love
I have found the Milky Moon (Yeah right!) near my finger tips

I ll be happy if the moonlight falls on the cup, fills it and overflows (Now dont ask me what the cup represents!)
But if it breaks the cup instead, it will break my heart too (Is it an expensive cup, dear?)
(Female)
Will the one I have set my eyes on ever reach my hands?(His check book perhaps?)

(Male)
Will she go away and give me tears instead?(But now shes staying and giving him tears instead!)

I have found it. I have...

(Male)
Bed of roses and begging eyes but my heart is beating fast (Will she fake a headache again?)

(Female)
With only my soul left, I am all yours (I am tired basically!)

(Male)
Can I open the door to your solitude? (Little did he know it was the door to the pandoras box)

I have found it. I have...

(Female)
I see your face in the parting clouds (Clouds? What clouds?)
I hear your voice in the blooming flowers (No wonder you are silent all the time!)

(Male)
I dream of you with my eyes open (And its Aishwarya Rai when he closes them!)
Loves touch will even upturn a stone (Why dont you try turning a Dosa first?)

(Female)
Is my journey in search of you? (Apparently NO! Lesson learnt a hard way!)
Will my road lead me to your house? (It did and it was a dead end!)

(Male)O my dream woman, will both of our hearts ever meet? (Dont hold your breath!)

I have found it. I have...

(Male)
The search of a river is to see the Sea (Oh really? Who told you that? And by the way what happened to that search of yours for the car key this morning?)
The search of my life is to see you (Let me guess! You are still searching, are nt you?)

(Female)
The river loses itself after reaching the Sea (Here it goes! Its the damn river again!)
But I ll find myself when I reach you (I found out I am an Idiot!)

(Male)
I will make a garland out of the Stars (Corner shop Flowers will do nicely, thank you very much!)
I might knock on your door any time now (Make sure you give me a call to find out if Im home first)

(Female)O Lord of Love! When I blink, its your eyes which close (Lord of WHAT? And by the way, when I blink it means I dont want to see your face for a while!)

I have found it. I have... (Sigh!)

Now the Tamil lyrics just as it is without me screwing it up!

(Male)
Kandukonden Kandukonden kaadhal mugam Kandukonden
Viral thodum dhooraththile vennilavu Kandukonden
vennilaa velichcham kinnaththil vizhundhu niraindhaal vazhindhaal magizhchchi
vennilaa velichcham kinnaththai udaiththaal uyirai udaippaal oruththi

(Female)en kann paarththadhu en kai serumo
(Male)kai saeraamalae kanneer serumo

Kandukonden Kandukonden kaadhal mugam Kandukonden ...

(Male)malarmanjam vizhi kenjum manam anjumallavaa
(Female)uyir minjum ival nenjam un thanjamallavaa
(Male)un thanimaik kadhavin thaazh neekkavaa

Kandukonden Kandukonden kaadhal mugam Kandukonden...

(Female)megam thirandhaal adharkul un mugam paarkkiren
pookkal thirandhaal adharkul un kural ketkiren

(Male)kangalaith thirandhun kanavugal valarkkum
kaadhalin viralgal kallaiyum thirakkum

(Female)unnaith thediye ini enadhu payanamo
endhan saalaigal un veettil mudiyumo

(Male)E kanavu mangaiyae unadhu manadhu enadhu manadhil inaiyumo

Kandukonden Kandukonden...

(Male)nadhiyin thedal kadaisiyil kadal kaanbadhu
uyirin thedal kadaisiyil unaikkaanbadhu

(Female)kadal konda nadhiyo mugam thanai izhakkum
naan unnil kalandhaal pudhu mugam kidaikkum

(Male)natchaththirangalai oru naaril kattuven
endha neramum un kadhavu thattuvaen

(Female)E kaadhal dhevane enadhu imaiyil unadhu vizhigaL mooduven

Kandukonden Kandukonden kaadhal mugam Kandukonden...

It sure is romantic in Tamil! ;)

A place to call Home.

There was sudden change of plans while we were in Madras(after Hd joined us) and we made a short trip to my home town again. Originally my parents were supposed to stay in Madras until we left for Zurich. But Hd has a weird sense of logic. What with all the pampering I got from my in-laws, he became very jealous and declared that he needs some in-laws love as well. Though my parents were in Madras too, it was nt enough. So we all went to Kmu and were there for 5 days. It was a win win situation for me so I readily nodded for the plan. As soon as we reached my parents house, Ashu declared "Ashus house has come"! Her play pals arrived within no time and I did nt see her after that until it was time to leave again.

I of course took Hd to the Darasuram Temple and that made it my third visit in one month. That's a first for me. Then one day we went to our village. Where my paternal grandpa was born, my dad lived until college and I almost lived and visited until I was 8 years old. Since its hardly an hour from my hometown, I used to go there to stay with my grand parents every weekend, school holidays and such. Its a very,very small village with hardly a dozen houses in our street and we had acres of agricultural land which my grandpa managed with the help of my dad and my uncle. I cant separate my grandpa from the village and I love them both equally. The childhood memories I have made in this village is precious. My sis and I have had fabulous times here. The leisurely baths in the motor sheds, eating raw mangoes and raw mango leaves straight from the trees daring the angry red ants, playing catch under the hot sun with friends and cousins, running helter-skelter at the sight of a water snake, splashing in the temple pond, sitting on top of the Vaikol Por(hay stack) and eating Gems after sorting them by colors, coming home with ant bites and getting a good scolding form Grandma, helping Grandpa count coins and stacking them and rolling then in newspapers, the countless number of dosas that go in listening to old tales, the pampering from the farm help who showed us the sights and allowed us to enter the forbidden dark forest, the imaginary expedition we had in the dark parts of the mango groves, the 7 pm Dheebaaradhanai at the Perumal Temple,.... Oh... I could just go on and on and on... The kittens, the dogs, the kingfisher bird which laid eggs in a hole in our wall,... I can never forget these things until my last breath.

Today our house is dilapidated, it is nt ours anymore, we have sold all our lands, all our neighbors are gone, there are hardly a few familiar faces, the Ilandhai tree is no more, the motor shed is gone.. but still going there with Ashu was an experience on its own. It was Hds first trip there as well and I could nt stop talking. I was going on and on about my childhood to him. How much ever long we are married and how ever long we talk about our childhood with each other, theres always more stuff to tell, is nt there? At least from my side, there always will be. Thanks to my dear village and my beloved city bred Hubby who has never hidden behind the barn door at the ripe old age of 7 and peeked through a hole to see a cow giving birth to a calf! Aww... those days...

Did some one say nicknames?

I dont know if I was tagged or not. If I was, I dont know by whom. So sorry about that. But this nick name tag has so much potential that I had to take it. Thanks to those who started this and whoever tagged me or did nt.

Ashu was called Bujju when she was in my tummy. I think my mom started addressing my tummy by this name and Hd followed and soon I did too. So officially this is her first nick.

Hd calls her "Ashu" and thats why I kept the nick for her in this blog. But I never call her Ashu. Mostly I call her by her whole name but there are also many, many more names I use. Like Pattu, Pattaani, Kuttu, Kuttani, Kutti, Chellam, ... the usual.

Then there are some special and peculiar names too. Like

Pillathoor Chellathamma - My grandma mentioned this name to me last month when I was in India and it stuck. Usually when Ashu is throwing a tantrum I say, "you are behaving like Pillathoor Chellathamma" and call her that jokingly when she is being adamant. Apparently, there was this woman Chellathamma who lived in a village called Pillathoor aka Pilloor some 100 years ago and ruled the village with a tight fist and everyone feared her. My grandmas mother used to take her name when her children were being adamant. See how deep the source is? I intend to pass this name on to my grand kids as well!

Parattai engira Azhagu Sundaram - My sister calls Ashu this. Parattai means unruly hair. There was a recent movie with the title "Parattai engira azhagu sundaram" and so my sister started using this name for Ashu. See what I had to live with for 20 years?

Mr.Monk - Do I even have to explain? Ashu has several OCDs and some very similar to Monk's. Hence the name. But I always use this name in an exasperated tone.

I also change her nick so as to rhyme. Like "Do you want Paal(milk), Pattoos?", Do you want Banana, Battoos?, Kulikiriyaa(bath?), Kuttoos, Juice venumaa, Jittoos? But only when Im alone with Ashu. For obvious reasons!

Another special name is Chinnaalu. There was this woman called Chinnaalu in my fathers village. She was almost my moms age. She was mentally unstable and lived with her parents. She was normal most of the time but went crazy sometimes and as kids we used to be terrified of her. Her parents used to lock her up in a room but she used to remove the ceiling bricks and escape and come to our house to chat with my mom and grandma. She is no more. I dont know how I started calling Ashu by this name but sometimes I do. My dad hates it when I call Ashu as Chinnaalu. All the more reason for me to do so!

I call her as Curly Shu after the movie Curly Sue and also as Noodles Thalayaa(Noodle head) like Koundamani calls Senthil!(Tamil Film Comedians.)

Some movie/TV influenced names include Nemo, Boo, Mowgli, Boots, Martha Monkey, Simba, Cinderalla, ...

Some sweet names like Laddoo, Rasogolla, Gulab Jamoon, Jaangiri, Rasamalai, Strawberry, ...

Some Tamil names like Pattu Kunjalam(silk hair ornament), Azhagu Sundari (beautiful girl), Thangame, Vairame, Patte, Maniye, Muthe, Maragadhame, ... (names of the precious gems), Kannamma,...

The most often used is Kuzhandhai (child), Kutti (small) and Samathu (Good).

My dad calls her Chinna Kutti. (small girl)

My mom calls her all sort of gibberish like puttaanu, gundaanu, pattaanu,...

My FIL calls her "Pichu" and my MIL calls her "Kannu".

There are also some temporary names which make rounds. Ashu calls Mickey Mouse as Picky Pous. So we call her Picky Pous. We also call her Kuvvi(Bird), Punky(Monkey),...

I call her as "OY" when shes showing attitude and Rowdy Raakkamma when shes being a brat.

I got to be honest and confess that theres one more name I use. "Kadankaari" - which means a female who is in debt. The meaning is silly of course but this is the name my mom used the most to scold my sis and I. And its the only thing I use to scold Ashu too. For now! Of course Kadankaari is followed by another word which I am trying hard not to use. And failing. Cant say it here. I dont know if any other Tamil uses it. I have nt heard anyone even mentioning it other than my mom from whom I got it of course! Mail me if you know. We can start a club or something! ;) Utbt and Yaada Yaada - Mind your own business!

I also call her "Amma Thaaye Mahalakshmi" when Im in the verge of blowing up. It means "My mother Goddess Mahalakshmi". But I actually mean "Enough of that. shut up and sit down". Of course Ashu does nt know that. Yet.

New Car.

How did I forget to write about this? We have bought a CAR! An used car! Our new car! A silver color, compact Citroën. Our first car, actually! That's right, our first car. Well, its a long story but that's what the blog is for so here I go.

When Hd and I got married, we lived in Chennai for 6 months with my In laws. Their car was as good as ours, so there! Then we both moved to Bangalore and since I took my Kinetic Honda with me there, we managed with it. Then after a while, FILs car came to Bangalore with us and stayed. Soon we moved to the UK and the car went to back to FIL. The next time we moved to Bangalore again, we managed with the Kinetic Honda. My uncle who lives in Bangalore gave his scooter as well, so we had two 2 wheelers! Then the last time we moved back to Bangalore again from Swiss along with Ashu, my dad came to the rescue by giving his car as he was hardly using it in our hometown. So for a year, we had his car. Yes, Hd and I are both shameless that way! We have absolutely no qualms squandering stuff from both our parents! For that matter, I have nt bought a single thing for our kitchen in all these years. Every stainless utensil is either my mom's or mil's, the gas stove is mil's, the mixie is my mom's, the microwave is mil's, the rice cooker is mom's, ...

All the time we lived abroad whether it was in the UK or in Swiss, the public transport has been excellent and we never needed a car. But this time with Ashu, things were getting difficult and especially once the winter arrives, its very tough to get out of the house and walk to take a tram or a bus. So we thought it was a good idea to buy a car. We had finalised on one before I left for India but Hd brought the car home when I was in India. So the excitement set in only after I came here. Oh, life is so easy after a car! It would be great if I get a license and start driving too. But generally I am very scared to drive and have zero confidence. I hated driving in Bangalore. Hope I get over it soon.

Ashu has started enjoying the car rides and we have been taking her to theme parks, lakes and play areas every weekend and shes on cloud nine. She can spot our car in a parking lot too which is more than what I can say about Hd! ;)

By the way, Hd thinks I'm overacting when I got a "little" upset that his colleague got to ride in our car and sit in the front seat before I got a chance to. A female colleague, for your kind information! He says that it would nt have bothered me this much if it were a guy. Of course it would nt have! Jeez, whats with these men? Don't they ever get the point?

Jungle book.

Last week my cousin and her husband had come to Zurich from the US and stayed with us for 3 days. Oh, what fun! This is the first time someone younger than me in the family was visiting as I am one of the youngest grandkid myself. And technically, the Maapillai(son-in-law) was coming home so I was all geared up to welcome them and cook my way to glory! I don't know how Ashu spots family but she just stuck to my cousin and the couple were ready to cancel their sight seeing plans and stay at home all day long to be with Ashu. And they did do that on the last day. Dora shoes as a gift did play a small role, to be honest! As if that were nt enough, the evening they were leaving, they bought 2 DVDs - Cinderella and Jungle Book and gave them to Ashu. We all watched Jungle Book together for a while and were having fun. Ashu showed some interest.

The next day after they had left, I played the movie again since I have nt watched it a long, long time and Ashu was absolutely hooked! She has watched movies like Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc, Ice age, etc... before but she has never sat still for the entire movie. She usually loses interest in a few minutes. But this movie is really something. Its a treat to watch her watching Mowgli. She howls with laughter when Baloo Bear says something funny, gets mighty scared when Sher Khan appears for the first time, giggles when Kaa the snake tries to put Mowgli to sleep, ... Oh its just so heartwarming to see this movie with her. It has become a night time ritual now for the past 3 days. She watches it from beginning to end, and tells me whats going to happen in the next scene. Thankfully its only an hour long movie. But what a movie! The bare necessities....

Confused!

I am really, really confused! I don't know how I'm going to catch up with all the blogs I read regularly. A little break and the amount of posts I have to catch up with is just overwhelming. Add to that, my laptops charger has died and it has been a month since we ordered one but no sight of it yet! So I'm using Hds laptop in the mornings and evenings hence the less frequent posts and absolutely no comments anywhere! Though I'm dying to upload Ashus photos, I don't want to clutter his office laptop with lots of photos. Its so frustrating. And the little blog hopping I did, I realized I have missed two of my favorite blog babies Birthdays. Belated Birthday wishes Poppin and Kodi. I identify so much with their moms since I feel we have very similar parenting styles and Poppin and Kodi are also very similar to Ashu in their temperaments and attitudes. Though Ashu is 5 months older than them, in a year or two that will not be a difference at all and I cant wait to see what these trio are up to then! If we moms are still blogging, that is! Even otherwise, we will be in touch, won't we Gals?

I don't know where to start reading, whom to start with, where to leave comments. Reading JLT, I realized Dotmoms husband had a heart attack and went to her site. What a relief to know hes better now. Then went to Rohins post on Maid from Dotmom. Then to Rbdans from Kodis mom, Mnamma from UTBT, Poppins from Moppet, Noon from a comment she left somewhere, generally I'm hopping here, there and everywhere. I need strategy. Before that, I need my laptop back. NOW!

While we were in Madras...

My FIL is an ADORABLE man! Hes every girls dream FIL. Of course, the fil-mil combo does nt work as beautifully as the individual FIL but one cant ask for too much, so no complaints. He has always treated me like a princess and now treats Ashu like a Queen. Ashu being the manipulative kid, adores him and sticks to him like glue and says all the right things to him. What can I say, shes but a natural! His entire desire in life is to show me that he can take care of her without my help. So at 6 am when Ashu gets up and runs out of our room to him, the day starts for him while I go back to sleep. He gives her milk, takes her to the bathroom, tries to give her breakfast while I slowly get up and continue where he left and finish feeding her. Then he takes her out, to the terrace, to the garden and comes back during lunch time. Sings her to sleep sitting on the swing. After the nap, we go out to the beach and visit a temple where he completely takes charge of her while she has loads of fun. Bliss! On the day I landed in Madras from Zurich, I left Ashu home and went to the Dentist. She was seeing my in laws after 8 months. She said bye to me and stayed with my FIL. Atta girl!

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She ll happily go to the driver, the maid, the gardener, the little girl next door but not to my MIL. I swear I have no part in this! Its totally her choice. Who am I to interfere? ;)

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We were taking Ashu to the beach everyday. Though she did nt like to walk on the sand or get her feet wet in the water, she liked to look at the sea, the crows and the stray dogs. She had taken to our driver very well and he was carrying her around mostly. (Driver, maid, car, beach, shopping,.. I did nt have to lift my finger for anything, so what am doing here in Zurich?)

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My fil and I took Ashu to the Besant Nagar beach one evening. There was a big horse and Ashu was excited and said she ll ride on it. But she would nt sit alone or with the horse guy. So our Driver came to the rescue and they both went horse riding on the beach. She sat with a smile on her face as if shes the Maharani doing the rounds! Then the merry go round, the kids giant wheel, a balloon, a kaathaadi, a ball, half an idli in Murugan Idli kadai, happily holding one of the waiters hand and walking away while Amma gulped down a whole Onion Oothappam, visit to the temples,... So tell me again, what am I doing in Zurich?

****
Hd arrived minus a baggage(it came the next day, thankfully) on Sept 7th and Ashu went bonkers seeing him. She screamed and started running in circles around me and it was hilarious to see her. Then when Hd carried her, she was swallowing tears and was choked and did nt talk for a long time. It was all so emotional and I felt so bad for her. The poor thing, how much she had missed him even though she did nt ask for him even once in those 5 weeks.

****
Officially, Ashu has "gone" on the beach, on the roadside, public toilets in the restaurants, department stores, wedding hall, train, plane, airport, temple,... She even stood in line and waited for her turn! Diaper less life is a bliss, I tell ya!

****
When my parents were also in Madras, Ashu was ecstatic. One thatha is bad enough, but with two - I started pretending she was nt mine! But got to tell you that she was to her good old self when we came to Madras. My dads definitely the culprit and his presence is what makes her a monster. My FIL is very similar to my dad too but the man is a bit afraid of me so he does nt interfere with my parenting style and listens to me.

****
Watched Sivaji again with Hd this time. Was nt bad even the second time. Had fun. Probably because we realized we would nt be watching a movie in the theater in a long, long time to come.

****
I have never really liked Madras before. But this trip has made me realize that I would nt mind settling down there. Some day. And only I know what a big deal that is for me. Children do change our lives upside down, dont they?

Kids do say the darndest things!

Amma, whats this?
Don't ask me anything, Ashu.
Amma, is this your Brestus?
*sigh* Yes, its my breast.
Amma, wheres Ashus brestus? (touching her chest)
*oh God! Why this soon?*

****

Amma who's going in the motorbike?
I don't know Ashu. How would I know?
Tell me, Amma.
I don't know. You tell me.
Uncle, Amma. Uncle is going on the motorbike.

!!!!

So one time, Im making paper boats from the tissue paper in a restaurant to keep her busy. I make a boat and ask her what it is and she says "Boat, Amma!" Then she takes over and generally makes a mess with the tissues. Then she crumpled a tissue, folded it one side and asked me, "What is this? Tell me, Amma". It looked like nothing to me and I told her I did nt know. "Tell me Amma. What is this?" So I say, I don't know Ashu, you tell me! "Its a tissue, Amma", she says with a grin!

????

While we were going to Madras by car, I had put on a diaper for Ashu as she might go to sleep or there would nt be toilets when she wanted to go. When we stopped in a restaurant for breakfast, she did nt want to to use the bathroom. She slept for a while. Later, the AC in the car broke down and we stopped at a garage in the highway to repair it. And Ashu wanted to go Susu. Since there was no toilet there, I asked her to go in the diaper. But she would nt. "Susu, Amma. Susu ponum, Amma", she was saying. I told her there was no toilet and she showed the road side and said, "I ll go here Amma". WHAT? Is it in her blood or something? To be ready to go susu by the roadside? So of course off went the diaper(which was sparkling clean!) and she squatted like a pro and did her job! You passed the test, Kiddo!

Back.

I am back. *sulk* The only good thing is that I can blog more now. Checked my blog as soon as I came back to find that my template is gone so even before unpacking the umpteen suitcases and before keeping the Kothamalli chutney(coriander chutney) in the freezer in spite of my mom reminding me a hundred times to do so, I surfed the dozen free template sites to find a suitable one. This is only temporary, working on the header. (Will take your offer if I cant find my way, Tharini!)

Missed you all.

ps.
Oh yes, about Ashu. Shes thrilled to be home and to see her room. But at 5 am today, she asked for my FIL and said she wants to go to his house. Then said she wants to go to "kammonam" to see my parents. Is asking why there are no mosquitoes, lizards, flies, worms, etc... in the house. Why indeed?

B-r-e-a-k

I ll be off the Internet from tomorrow. See you all, 3 weeks from now. Already I have truck loads of blog posts to catch up. At this rate, I think I ll be glued to my laptop for weeks after I reach Zurich.

Mad Momma - Please restrict yourself and do not post more than once a day! ;)

Poppins - Have a great time in Europe!

Tharini - Please don't change your beautiful headers before I get a chance to see it! :)

UTBT - Good luck with the Potty Training. May the force be with you.

Moppet - Mail me how Moppet settled down after the India trip. I would badly need some advice after reaching Zurich!

Art, Itchy, Kowsalya and other Madrasis - Hoping to chance upon you folks in Madras if I ever get out of the house!

Kiran aka Party girl - Go rock and tell us more!

Kodis Mom - Since no one has, I bid for the Monster. Provided you take Ashu. We do have more patience when it comes to other peoples children, don't we? ;)

Gauri - A little belated Onam wishes. And counting on you for more craft projects.

Ceekay, Noon and Rbdans - Hows it going the 2nd time around? Cant wait to catch up with your posts and find out.

Collection of Stars - Good luck with the beautiful beginning of terrible twos, threes, fours, fives,... and welcome to the club!

Just like that - Onam wishes to you!

SM - You moved without telling? WHERE? Please mail me. *Nobody tells me anything these days. sulk*

Dotmom & Mnamma - I'm hooked to your blogs. I cant wait to catch up with all your posts.

Orchid - Hope alls well and we get to read you soon.

Something to Say - So any luck on the Veggies? I ll even pay you for a surefire tip!

Rohini - I'm sure you would have written just one post, if at all, when I check your blog again. And no, that's no good! Write more!

Premalatha - I cant wait to know either! You would mail me, would nt you?

And all you Mommies - Will miss you and hope to hog your comment boxes soon. (If I have left out some mommies, it is nt intentional. I just could nt come up with a clever one liner, that's all!)

And all my favorite bloggers - Will miss you all too and please email me if theres a dirty debate going on. Would nt want to miss it for the world! (Any reason to get out of the house and find a browsing center!)

ps.
Sorry folks for not linking. Crunch time as I have still not finished packing. Check out Indianmommies.blogspot.com for the links, if you want them.

pps.
Today is Boo's 2nd Birthday. Sorry Boo, no time to throw you a party. But you have been the best thing that has happened to me since Ashu and is nt that saying something? And all you readers give me the energy I need to write. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Update on Ashu at 28 Months.

I don't know if its the age or being in India, but Ashu is a different child these days. I would nt know where to begin to describe her. She seems so grown up at times.

She talks. A lot. She uses sentences like Poonai Ottamaa Odi pochu (The cat ran as if in a race), Paati kindal pandraa(Grandma is pulling my leg), Thatha engayo poita (Thatha has gone somewhere), Biscuit mattum porum (I want only biscuit), Enakku onnum vendaam (I dont want anything)... Its a sweet shock every time she says something new and I make her say it again and again until she gets tired of it. I literally rolled on the floor laughing when she said Paati kindal pandraa. It was totally unexpected.

She is just like the annoying son of my friend who would say, "Amma lets go home", whenever they visited my house. As soon as Ashu scans the hosts house and finds no one of her height, she starts telling "Amma lets go home" and goes to wear her shoes. I am seriously thinking of buying a new book or a new toy before we visit someones house to keep her occupied. Anything to avoid the embarrassment.

She of course is fully potty trained except for the nights when she uses the diaper. She takes off her pant by herself, goes to the toilet and sits on the potty seat and does the job. She even volunteered to clean the potty seat, but I declined.

She has become so adamant and so stubborn that Im really hoping that its only a temporary thing thanks to my dad and she ll be okay once we go back to Zurich. If not, Im planning to send her right back to India on a plane. Alone.

Everything is a struggle these days. As soon as I say "Ashu come here", she ll run to the farthest corner away from me and stare at me from there as if daring me to come and get her. I stare right back at her and its all a downhill from there. Loads of tears, lots of shouting,... all for a simple "come here". So imagine the bathing, dressing, eating, drinking and the other dozen things.

Shes unpredictable with kids. She loves their company but when it comes to sharing the toys, she shares with some and fights with others. Hugs some and pushes others. Snatches things from some and gives away to others. Very confusing.

"Sorry" used to be dime a dozen. Now she rations it. If she hits me or others and I ask her to apologize, she stares at me and zips her mouth. 9 out of ten times, she wins!

Yes, my baby girl who I was very proud that shes non violent has started hitting. I don't know if its the school she picked it from or just another milestone, but she is hitting. Unnecessarily, that too. I have pleaded with her, begged her, scolded her, shouted at her, gave her time outs, hit her right back, advised her, blackmailed her, bribed her,... but nothing seems to work. Its not frequent but its there. Enough to bother me.

She goes from this high energy, laughing and playing kid to a crying mess in less than two seconds when shes sleepy. One minute shes playing peekaboo with me and the next, shes crying her lungs out. I don't even have the time to change her into her pyjamas. She cries as if someone tried to strangle her. This is one thing I don't understand at all about her. WHY?

She has clearly started voicing her needs. And no one in the world can changer her mind. If she wants me to accompany her to the terrace, she wont stop nagging until I go with her. I have no choice. If my dad takes her to the bathroom, then only he should help her wear her pants. Not I. If my mom fed her lunch, then only she should clean her mouth. Not I. She will wear her shoes herself. She will pluck flowers from the garden herself, she will close the door herself,... She has clear ideas of whom should do what. And she ll throw a fit otherwise.

She wont talk or sing rhymes or even say her name to strangers. Most of the times, the strangers just happen to be my uncle, aunt, cousins and friends. They already know her name anyway and just have to take my word for it when I say that she knows her ABC's and can sing "Twinkle, twinkle little star".

For the past 16 months, her diet has been almost the same. She has not added anything new. Im not bothered anymore. One can only try so much. But thanks to this trip, at least my dad now knows what a stubborn kid she is when it comes to food. I don't have to hear him lecture me on the phone on what to give her anymore. I hope!

Sometimes, she says things like "I don't want you", "go away", "I don't like you" and breaks my heart. She did nt go to my dad or talk to him for a while when he came back after a 5 day trip. My dad felt horrible. Forget the teens, Im more scared of her turning three!

She would nt walk two steps. She ll say "Thookiko" (Pick me up) after walking for 2 seconds. I hated walking and whined "Thookiko" until I was 5 or 6 years old, I think. So no use complaining. Fate has a cruel sense of humor.

Last night while taking to Hd on the phone and narrating Ashus antics, he told me that Im complaining a lot about Ashu these days and I have nt told him one good thing about her since I left Zurich. I hope you did nt read this post, dear!

The Amazing Chola Temple.

Today I went to the 12th century Airavateswarar temple in Darasuram built by the Cholas. Just a few miles away from home. Since it has been declared as a World Heritage Site by UNESCO, work is progressing to renovate the temple and since so much money is flowing in, it is being maintained superbly. But the temple itself is just amazing. No words can describe its beauty. The sculptures are out of this world. I visited the place twice within 2 weeks and I was just speechless both the times. The amount of details that has gone into it, the amount of work and labor, oh my God! And to think that even with so much technically advanced world, we have problems to move a rock from one place to the other and here 3000 years before, this temple has been built as if someone just flicked their finger and by magic, it appeared. Every nook and corner has been sculpted. Theres not a plain surface. The pillars are carved, the steps are carved, the gopuram is amazing, the windows have intricate designs, ... Theres the mythical animal Yaazhi, elephants, bulls, horses, snakes, folk dances, yoga postures, radha krishna, ganesha, muruga, ... There was this carving of lord Ganesha in one of the pillars. The ganesha was only an inch tall but the details were just amazing. Then there is this big statue of Goddess Annapurni with a vessel in her hand. If you flick on the vessel, you get a different sound even though the statue is made of one stone. Then theres Saraswati with a wisdom eye in her forehead, theres a huge Nandi, ... I was spell bound. A sculptor would have spent his entire life time just on one pillar, I guess. Awe inspiring, really.

I could nt help but remember this chocolate shop in Zurich which was opening shortly and for 6 months I saw the men with drills carving the shops name on stone at the entrance. And they had just about got the shape of S on it. And then to see such a temple built 3000 years ago with just uli and suthiyal (chisel and hammer), its unbelievable. And to think that I spent thousands of Euros seeing the roofs of Sistine Chapel and the statue of David and went gaga over them but never had the inclination to visit this landmark temple in my own backyard. I am glad I did it now. I am super glad.

My home town is a temple town. The name itself means that you will see a Temple tower from any angle of the town because of the number of temples crammed in this small town. If you have the habit of touching both your cheeks when you cross a temple like I do, then your hand will be permanently on your cheeks if you are in this town!


This is the famous Kumbeswarar temple where Ashu gave a banana to the temple elephant and took blessing from the elephant bravely while I stood a good 5 feet away!

This is the Sarangapani temple, the tallest in town.

And these are some of the Darasuram photos.

The rest are here. Check them out.

Terror Thatha.

I have seen my share of grand parents. But no one can come close to my father in the annoyance scale. Oh.My.God. I cant even begin to tell you what I have to put up with, day in and day out. I'm either going to leave Ashu here and escape. Or take Ashu and run away and never ever come back. He always, always keeps an eye on her so I cant even talk to him two sentences straight. He either interrupts to tell something to Ashu or gets up and runs to rescue her from I don't know may be a piece of paper which might fall on her head and hurt her badly. He sleeps when she sleeps. So no time to talk then. He always has her in his mind. Did she drink milk, did she eat, is she sick, is she better,... You begin to tell him some incident and he ll interrupt with a dozen Q's that you will scream your head off and leave the room.

"So dad, today Ashu climbed the stairs and..."

"Did nt u go with her? Why did you let her climb the stairs on her own?"

"Listen dad. when she went up, she saw the rain and..."

"Did she get wet? Why would you let her get drenched in the rain?"

"No dad. Listen please."

"Was the terrace door locked? Did she go out? Did she slip and fall? What was your mother doing?"

*screaming my head off and leaving the room*

If Ashu hits me, he checks her hand for injury.

When she throws a tantrum, he does whatever she wants.

He ALWAYS picks her up when she wants him to and always carries her everywhere. I have never seen them walk together even two steps.

He sits if she orders him to and stands when she asks him to.

He expects all of us to do the same.

This one time he was holding a piece of plastic paper between his lips for I don't know how long because she asked him to and screamed whenever he removed it.

When I am channel surfing and Ashu turns her head to the voice of some kid talking in a commercial and I do the grave mistake of changing the channel, I get a lecture from him about how Ashu will never be the same again because of this negligence.

He calls me a sadist if I give her time out.

He walks out of the room and sometimes even the house when I am scolding her.

According to him, we should nt let her do anything she does nt want to.

He clears all the toys that Ashu has scattered as soon as she leaves the scene because he does nt like me making her clean up.

He complaints that she eats little but also wants me to stop feeding her when she says enough.

Ashu has been drinking milk straight out of a cup instead of a sippy cup since coming here. But he gives her the sippy cup whenever my mom and I are nt looking.

Hes disappointed in me as a mother.

He wants me to be patience incarnated even when shes at her atrocious worst.

I should never complain about her.

If she is good, its because she is born that way. If she is bad (according to me) then its because of me.

When I think enough is enough and call him a hypocrite, he says "I did stupid things. But you don't have to do the same". Its hard to control myself from strangling him after such statements.

He always sees only the good side of her. Even if she throws a dagger at his heart, I guess he ll compliment her on her perfect aim before taking his last breath. (I would nt be the first to rush him to the hospital anyway!)

Train travails.

We were on an overnight train journey recently. My mom, Ashu and I. When Ashu was little, we only traveled in 2 tier AC compartment as it was comfortable to sit with Ashu in my shoulder, if she woke up in the middle of the night, without the middle berth. In the 3 tier AC, I have to crouch and sit and also the berths were nt as wide as the 2 tier AC. But this time, since shes older and mostly sleeps though the night and more importantly since my dad has retired recently, we traveled by 3 tier to save money! Its funny to observe the people around. This family of a husband and wife and 2 teenage daughters were sitting near us and as soon as they sat, the mother asked her husband loudly ""why did nt you book in 2 tier?" making sure everyone heard her. As if she had no idea until she sat on her seat! Yeah right! Then to make sure everyone knows she has traveled in 2 tier, she goes on to describe how 2 tier compartments have curtains, reading light etc... Her husband did nt utter a word. Then she said, "2 tier la waiting list aa?" as if to find an excuse. Whatever makes you happy lady! And after all this, she slept in the lower side berth. If I hate one thing on trains, its the side berth. Especially on a 2 tier AC. Criminal waste of money and its a torture to sleep there with a child.

This train trip to and fro was interesting to say the least. Ashu successfully for the first time in her life used a Southern Railways train bathroom!! If this is nt a milestone for an Indian child! Especially because she was wearing a diaper but insisted on using the bathroom. Who am I to stop this beautiful beginning, albeit the stench? On the return journey, there were lot of kids and Ashu was having fun saying Hi and asking "whats your name" to all the kids and their mommies! But she would nt say her name when someone asks. The Aunty who sat near us asked Ashu what her name was for 2 hours but she would nt budge. She would tell her dolls name but not hers. The little devil! Anyway, she went to the adjacent seat and was looking at a baby there. I was standing near her. The couple gave her some chips and she was force feeding them to the baby instead and I was asking her to stop. There was man in his late 30s sitting in the opposite seat and gestured Ashu to come near him. But she shook her head. He gestured again and she shook her head again. Then when she was feeding the child the chips, he started to tickle and pinch her in her waist and she wiggled and moved away. Though I wanted to take this harmlessly, I disliked the guy immediately. So I sat in a vacant seat near Ashu instead of going back to my seat. The guy tickled and pinched her a few more times and Ashu said "NO" in a loud voice and moved away from his reach. I asked her to thank the Aunty and leave. When she turned, the guy clicked a photo of her in his mobile phone. Ashu blinked at the flash and ran away to my mom to our seat. I was seeing red. I told him ""You should ask me before taking a picture". He immediately said, "No, no! Its only flash". I glared at him, muttered "yeah right", thanked the couple and left. I told my mom what happened and called him all possible names. The instant lie bothered me more than the act of taking the photo. I mean, my dad has a very similar reliance handset too and it makes a loud "klang" sound and a bright flash while taking a photo. And you cant just use the flash in it. The porukki rascals instant lie made me so mad. Since it was only my mom and I, I did nt want to pick a fight with him. Even then, I could nt sleep peacefully the entire night and at 3 am when Ashu got up and lied on my tummy, she said "Oh Nein! Uncle peekaboo pannaraa" and I saw the guys head disappearing. Gave me the creeps! It used to bother me that Ashu does nt go anywhere on her own and wants me to accompany her whether its a plane or a train or a restaurant. She would nt just wander away to explore. Even when I ask her to go to the next seat and say Hi to a child, she ll ask me to accompany her. Now I'm thankful that she is shy. The fear of the unknown is scary as hell.

Edited to add:
Thanks everyone for the understanding and concerned comments. Makes me feel better now after sharing this incident. Like a coward, I always give people the benefit of doubt and even now I'm not sure if the guy was a pervert or not. May be the entire thing was harmless and I am reading too much into it. Its better to be careful so I would stay away from creeps but I need proof before taking a violent action. Hence the passive reaction from my part. If he had even remotely crossed the line, alone or not, I would have shown him what would happen if he messes with me or my daughter.

Also, Ashu is not very much used to the touchy feely thing and she does nt even like family members hugging or kissing her when she is not in the mood. Ever since we came here, she has been swatting peoples hands whenever they came to touch her cheeks. I told her not to push people away but to say "please don't" when she does nt want people to touch her. So she has been saying NO to my grandma, aunt, uncle and cousin whenever they tried to touch or kiss her. Hence the NO to the guy in the train as well. I never thought she would face such circumstances so early in her life.

Days without internet.

The Internet connection went kaput and its driving me crazy for the past 10 days. I was pretending that it was ok and I can live without blogging for a while but I was shaking inside and felt as if my head would explode if I did nt catch up with the mommy blog world! My dad of course thinks I am insane and I suspect he willingly disconnected the Internet to save some money for his retirement fund. Hd and my sis calling everyday and asking if the Internet is back did nt help much either. So what was I doing?

I got up at 9 am and switched on the TV. Mom would give me a cup of tea and I would channel surf sipping the hot ginger tea. Then would take a shower reluctantly and since my grandma eats a proper meal at 10 am, I would give her company and eat rice with sambar, rasam, butter milk with 2 kinds of vegetables, Appalam, Vadaam, 3 kinds of pickles, etc... while chatting with my grandma, swapping stories about how our knees are hurting, how tired we get often, how difficult it is to raise children, etc.. She is 94 and went through 12 child births. Then more TV while I sit on the Oonjal and slowly drift off to a semi conscious state, thanks to all the food. Sun Musics occasional good songs like "Uppu kallu thanneerukku ekka pattadhu"(Karuppusamy Kuthagaitharar) makes me open my eyes. Then I complain Im bored till I drive my parents crazy. Hd calls up and I complain how theres no Internet, nothing on TV, no books and how Ashu is nagging me for Dora while my dads stupid DVD player would nt play the multi region DVD. Then it would be tea time again with home made murukku, then kuzhal, ... and probably a game of Pallankuzhi with my Grandma, if Ashu lets us. My mom also makes Onion Oothappam or bajji, pakoda to appease my boredom hoping I would shut up if my stomach is full. Then some more TV, watching young children sing and the old morons criticize them harshly. Some name calling later, its back to Sun Music and its loosu VJs and the occasional good songs, "Vizhiyil, un vizhiyil"...(Kireedam)

None of the Tamil channels would telecast any of the Sivaji songs fully much to my disappointment. Usually the Tamil channels show the trailer of the movie with bits of songs, scenes etc... before the movie is released. Then on the day it is released, they show full songs, comedy scenes, action scenes, etc... Then the day they review the movie, they show most of the good scenes in the movie. A week later, you would have seen almost the entire movie and 6 months later, you would see the whole movie on some channel on Diwali or Pongal, "mudhal muraiyaaga"! But not in the case of Sivaji. I so wanted to see the songs and my nagging was an all time high that my dad whose last visit to the theater was when "Manaalane mangaiyin bhagyam" was released, took me to the movie. He was squirming on his seat the entire movie while I enjoyed the songs. Now next month I have to squirm in my seat while Hd watches the songs. An okay movie since I went with very low expectation. Rajini sure rocks! "Avaluku vandha vaazhva paaren" - my moms comment on Shreya.


A bottle of Bovonto in the evening in the garden terrace while mom feeds Ashu looking at the parrots, sparrows, crows and eagles flying in the sky. Later, the children from the neighborhood come home and entertain Ashu. More TV later, its dinner time with Idlies, Dosas or Chapathis. Then phone calls with Hd and my sis, complaining about my dad and how he does nt care about me, how Ashu has become a total brat, how my mom gets on my nerves,... Then of course, TV until midnight. Unakkul Naane...

Half way through...

I so wanted to potty train Ashu when she was 21 months old before we left for Zurich. That did nt happen of course. Then I began some half hearted attempts in Zurich but they got us nowhere. Then the trip to the US happened and she started school, so I did nt want to burden her with one more thing. Ok ok, I did nt want to be burdened. I have heard from friends that its easy peesy to potty train kids in India but somehow did nt quite believe it. I mean what magic is there in India? Its the same effort everywhere and if the kid is ready, then its easier anywhere, right? Wrong! Because my stubborn kid is trained already. In flat 5 days. I don't even know how that happened but I said no more diapers and asked her to tell me if she wanted to use the bathroom and she did. There were only a few susu accidents at first and also she did nt want to do potty in the toilet. She asked me for a diaper when she wanted to do the big job. I thought its going to be tough to break her. But a lot of encouragement and compliments did the work and voila! Its bye bye diapers during the day. I'm still making her wear in the night, got to figure out how to train her for the night. Shes such a sleepy head that waking her up in the middle of the night and taking her to the bathroom is out of the question for now. Baby steps Boo, baby steps! :)

So here are the reasons it has been easy to train her here:

She is 28 months old and ready.

She is able to wait at least for a minute to use the toilet. She has bladder control. High time, anyway!

The bathrooms here are so convenient compared to the dry bathrooms abroad with a drain only in the tub. The "squat anywhere you want" type of bathrooms here are the best!

With this warm weather, she can take a shower after every bathroom break if she wants and I don't have to worry about her getting a cold. Also she can roam around in minimal clothing.

My mom and the maid, obviously! I would nt have the strength to do this if not for them.

The peer pressure. I don't know a 2 year old in India who is not potty trained. Ashu is a black sheep among them!

I ll be here at least for 3 more weeks and hopefully there would nt be any huge change for Ashu, so she can have a routine.

So there. The day I thought would never come before her 3rd birthday has come. My daughter is potty trained. (by day!) Do yo know how bad it is for the environment to use disposable diapers? ;)

Aadi Perukku, Sapparam, River Cauvery and fear.

Ashu pulling the Sappara Thatti (Sapparam) today on the occasion of Aadi Perukku. I remember buying the plain wooden Sapparam from the street vendors and decorating it with color paper, garlands and pictures of Gods and Goddesses and pulling it on the roads proudly in this same road when I was young. It does feel good to be back home, just the four of us, Ashu and my paternal grandma. I feel as if I am a child again and afraid that any minute now, my dad will ask me to get ready for school! *shudder* Thankfully Ashu reminds me that I'm the all powerful one now! Shes talking nineteen to the dozen and our heads are spinning listening to her. If my dad has any dreams of having a peaceful retired life without anyone bossing him around, hes sadly mistaken. The little Missy is making him jump through hoops and he is being a willing partner. She takes him to one of the rooms and asks me to get out and bangs the door on my face. Waves bye to me happily if I threaten her that I'm going to go back to Zurich. Few times a day, she switches allegiance and sticks to my sister. Sis is leaving tomorrow and I'm sure Ashu is going to miss her a lot. She also remembers the 2 boys and a girl from our neighborhood who used to play with her 8 months back and is having fun with them. For the first time, I let her go alone with the boys to their house. The older boy who is 9, carried her around and was baby sitting her in his terrace while I stood on our terrace and sneak peeked. OK, I did nt let her go fully but its a start! :) I find it so heart warming to see the children here completely unsupervised, running around and going to friends houses and having a wonderful time. So trusting, so innocent and so ignorant of the bad world out there! I am not sure if I can let go Ashu as easily as these parents have. But its so good to be in such an environment at least for a while. I pray to River Cauvery on this auspicious day to wash away all our fears and grant a safe world for all the children. Now let me go and gorge on the masal vadai, puliyodarai, coconut rice, curd rice and crisp vadaams! So long! ;)

We are like this only.

I don't know how it all started. May be my moms enthusiasm for life or my dads passion with life but we have always looked forward to each day with utmost pleasure and wondering how we can make someones life happier by doing something. It might be just some silly thing like writing a note or helping with sisters home work or folding the laundry but everything will have a surprise element to it. When I was a teenager, I would nt fold the laundry or help my mom around the house even if she begged me to. But the minute she went out to do some shopping or to visit a temple, I ll start planning on how to surprise her when she came back. I remember when I was 13, I wanted some drawings for my chemistry record book and my sister would nt help me. I cried the whole evening and went to school the next day without taking the book with me. I was planning to tell the teacher I had forgotten the book to get an extra day to do the dirty work. Then during lunch time, my sister comes to my school in a cycle on a hot day and gives me the book with neat drawings. It was always the surprises which made our lives so special and so extraordinary. My mom would cook a storm without telling us, my dad would buy a puppy and surprise us. I would get first rank in some exam but would give the report card with a sad face to my parents to see the look on their faces when they saw number 1 written on it. There was a never a dull moment in our lives.

Off to college and at the drop of a hat I would leave the hostel and take a bus to go home which was five hours away. Since we were living in office quarters, I would go to Dads office first to surprise him, Then call mom from his office and tell her that I'm going to leave the hostel and will be home by evening. After a minute, I ll be knocking the door and she ll say "Enna dee idhu"(What is this?) when she seesme. Numerous occasions like these but it never got boring. We four always tried to do better than the other when it came to surprising. Fast forward to 3 years back when I was in Swiss and my sister came to India from the US to attend her sister in laws wedding. My parents and she were going to have so much fun and this would be the first time they would be together without me. I was fuming inside but whoever thinks of spending a fortune on a flight ticket to attend sister's sis in law's wedding? People don't even attend their own sis in law's wedding these days! Then Hd asked me "why don't u go". I wanted to but felt it was nt right. But he insisted and when the surprise element was thrown in, the old me could nt resist. I say old me because my marriage had killed my surprise instinct thanks to my in laws who associate surprises to lying! A year after our marriage, they visited London and we went to pick them up at the airport. I told Hd to hide and I went to them and told Hd could nt make it as he had a meeting and welcomed them. Then Hd came from behind and surprised them when immediately my mil told him "She lied to us, da. She told us you have not come". My face well and that was the end of old me when it came to my in laws. Thankfully, Hd caught the infection and we lived happily ever after surprising the hell out of each other every birthday, anniversary or any other occasion. Anyhow, I booked my tickets to Chennai. Yes, to attend my sister's sis in law's wedding. I had to tell my dad as he had to pick me up from the airport. My in laws were traveling that day so they could nt. So I landed on a Saturday midnight and my dad and I stayed in a hotel. Next day, we went to my sister's In law's house and when my sister saw me, she was speechless for a whole minute and that's saying something as no one in this whole wide world has seen my sister speechless even for a second right form the moment she was born! :) Thankfully, my mom was in another room. I went and stood near her. But she totally did nt see me but was looking at my dad who had just entered. Then I said "Mom?" and she turned and saw me and she was so shocked that I was afraid she was having a heart attack. Conveniently, my BIL was not in the scene so I got to surprise him as well but he was nt blown over. He said he was confident that I would never leave my sister alone with my parents! Wise man, he is! Then of course since I had paid so much for the ticket, I went on to surprise my cousin, my aunt, my uncle, tom, dick and harry as well and was talk of the town for a while. Got a gorgeous Silk Saree from my sisters MIL as well for the wedding, So I would say it was Paisa Vasool! ;)

Then of course this time. I have never surprised my dad big time. And decided to do it this time to honor his retirement. I roped in my sister as well and the stage was set. She decided to surprise her In laws as well since by now you might have guessed what a loony bin family we are! As my In laws are nt the type, I pulled them in for the execution stage. I needed someone for transportation as well, you see! :) So after hazaar phone calls, chat and mails later we booked our tickets and could nt wait for the big day. And it all happened way much better than we had anticipated. After the surprise number one with sister's In laws who were totally blown over, we moved on to Scene 2. My dad was in the entrance of our house talking to his brother and my mom was at the back of the house talking to her cousin. My sister hid in the car while Ashu and I got down. My uncle(Dads younger brother and my favorite uncle!) and dad were shell shocked seeing me get down with Ashu at 8 o clock in the night. My dad took Ashu from me and literally ran home to surprise my mom. That's how our minds work - how to surprise the next person in the relay race! Anyway, my sneaky uncle who was sure I would nt have traveled alone, went to the car and took a look inside expecting my FIL or Hd when my sister popped out. From Switzerland he could take! But from the US! And the both of us!! He went ballistic! We shushed him and ran home when our clueless mom was walking back from her cousins place and saw us. At first, she was nt sure if it was really us. But then, a mother knows her brood does nt she? She let out a scream when we shushed her and ran up the stairs as my dad still does nt know that my sis has come. Poor dad was looking for my mom at home when we all went up and he was showing Ashu to mom and exclaiming when my sis went behind him and closed his eyes. The indecipherable scream from my dad when he saw her was just priceless. My mom was still in shock and for 2 minutes, she did nt even remember the existence of Ashu who was sitting on the Oonjal(wooden swing) and laughing out loud seeing the drama unfolding around her. My uncle, aunt, my moms cousin, my grand mother and dads office assistant joined in and the cacophony lasted for an hour. My mom just could nt sleep the entire night.

On the 31st, there was this gala party with a huge crowd and all everyone could talk was how Mr.V's two daughters surprised him on his retirement day and what a lucky man he is to have such a wonderful family and also had such a successful career. Tears flowed everywhere when they said their good byes to dad. We of course could nt stop smiling at the feat we pulled much to their surprise! As you would have known by now, this family is full of surprises, folks! What to do, we are like this only.