27.06.2019

Dearest Antu,

Your birthday party is already done and I wept so much while lighting the ELEVEN candle that you did even have to blow it out! If I was telling the previous sentence to a live audience, here's where you would have chipped in with a "you are lying, Amma. That did nt happen!" Sigh. You and your being fair and always so righteous! Thats you in a nutshell! Whether tattling to the teacher about your best friend cheating in a test (Ashu and I gasped in unison when you came home and reported this incident!) or speaking your mind (I like my room the way it is ok? You may not like it. But I do!) or helping me around the house without a peep or going above and beyond to help people, you are your great grand father and grandmother rolled into one! Do not ever change and keep the world at its toes!

Friends and family are everything to you. Of course we have to compete with lego friends and sylvanian family and every other cute little plastic thingies! You have a long list of requests for toys, books and apps that you absolutely "need" at any given point of time! Slime is the word of the year. Various liquids in various stages and smells line your shelves and sometimes my fridge too! "Poison! Do not eat!", you left a note thankfully! (Which your sister removed and stuck it in my muesli!!) Your dads shaving cream, my contact lens solution, shampoo, baking soda, everything is fair game in your slime making process! One liter of glue is one of your birthday presents this year! Music is life to you. We went to Anne Marie concert in May and when we surprised you and Ashu with the concert tickets, you let out a ear piercing shriek and hugged me and started bawling because you were so overwhelmed! Its worth doing everything for you just to witness the sheer joy in your face. 

Its lovely to travel with you. Whether we are visiting a museum or a cathedral, a beach or a national park, you are 100% into it and you ask a million questions and enjoy the little things. You walk for hours without complaining or whining. And most importantly, willing pose for my photos! You eat like a bird and that's quite a problem when we travel. But you are healthy and growing, so I guess I have to count my blessings. You love animals and collect info and trivia about them like a passion. Getting a dog would be your dream come true. Wonder when thats gonna happen though! You know everything about everyone. Whats our favorite color, favorite food, our likes and dislikes and individually cater to everyones needs. Theres never a dull moment with you around and you are the glue holding us all together and I thank you for that.

You are a confident and independent kid and I'm always learning from you a thing or two about loving and giving. The kind of mother I am to you is totally different from Ashu and its a very bittersweet feeling. We spend more time together and goof around more. You and Ashu are like chalk and cheese and its very difficult for me to be kind and nice to her when she's grumpy and is not ready to receive my love and kindness. How to give when one refuses to receive? But I look at you being your loving self and never changing the person you are in any situation. While I become a screaming banshee and unkind and mean and rude. Says a lot about me, does nt it? I tend to blame Ashu for bringing the worst in me but the worst should exist to come out right? If I keep changing myself that easily, who am I then? This one time when Ashu was very mean to you, I told you to stop talking and interacting with your sister. And even though you were hurt by her, you pounced on me with a "But I want to talk to her, Amma. I don't care what she says or thinks about me. I will always like her!" I don't know how a spiteful me gave birth to this zen monk! You are also very emotional and empathetic and broke down and cried when we heard the news on 29th May that my paternal grand mother has passed away. You were affected by how much I was affected by the news and hugged me. How the tables turn! I would never forget that in my whole life. Thanks for being there for me, Kannamma. It means a lot to me. Happy 11th Birthday and keep spreading your love and kindness to the whole wide world!

Love
அம்மா. 

27.06.2018

Dearest Antu,

You are 10 today. I feel like I am 100. People we meet in the parks and on the street used to give a big smile when you were a toddler with your chubby face and curly hair. And I did nt have eyes for anyone but you. And now I am longingly looking at other peoples babies and sighing. How did this happen to me? What is your hurry to grow up? It has taken me three years to accept that your sister hit double digits and before I could digest the fact that she's a teen now, you have to go and grow up on me. Not fair! And as if to make things worse, you have a sleepover tonight at your school and even your teacher said you don't have to stay since its your birthday. But NO!!! Whats a silly mother compared to a school sleepover?! Traitor!

This year was a big change for all of us with the move to Basel but you were the one who truly took it in your own stride and has already made a beautiful life here. Friends in the neighborhood - check. BFFs in school - check. Ballet class - check. Piano lesson - check. Playdates and birthday invites - check and check! And we also found a carnatic music teacher for you and you are enjoying the lessons quite a bit. You have a sweet voice and a good musical sense and memorize songs so quickly. Its amazing to watch your progress in the last one year. I have zero knowledge in this subject and your father is worse than me so good job overcoming our genes. We celebrated your birthday last weekend with 4 of your school friends. Thats 4 more people than what I had on my birthday, so good job there as well! 

You still love traveling and the great outdoors. You enjoyed your London trip last year. And every park and every museum. I love your company and picked you to go with me when I got two tickets free for the Foundation Beyeler Art Gallery recently. Not that I had anyone else to go with! (Monet was good Amma but I did nt like Bacon. Why is his self portrait so ugly? He does nt look that ugly in his photo!) We have an ongoing bet in our house that you can't last longer than a minute without laughing! You laugh all the time. Everything is funny. You find mundane stuff hilarious! Please don't ever change. And your love for animals is ever growing. You would do anything to get a dog. The other day we found a small dead bird in our balcony and Ashu would nt even step into the balcony and I was feeling very weird too. But you were the one who moved it into a bag and threw it away. My big little brave girl!


One day you decided you were going to cook an entire meal and baked bread. Made soup. Cooked pasta. And made these pretty little dessert with puff pastry. Only with little help from me. Another day you saw the yoga mat on the floor and created this elaborate set up with all your stuffed toys and we were nt allowed to move anything for a week! Like I need an excuse not to exercise! For your sisters birthday, you decided you wanted Harry Potter decor on the cake and did all the research. Shopped for the decor items and patiently decorated it too. Your sister who is not that easily impressed was simply stunned. And you were so happy that she was happy. Yet another day you decided you were going to be a part time DOG and named yourself Yoyo and would answer me with a bark whenever I called you. How can you be so annoyingly cute? Keep enjoying your life, Kannamma. Happy 10th Birthday!

Love,
அம்மா.

27.06.2017

Dearest Antu,

It is that day of the year you look forward to eagerly. You start planning your birthday as soon as your sister's birthday is done in April. You loudly announce that its your birthday month on 1st June. You begin to wish for presents and finally narrow it down to three from which you know you will get one. And as usual, you ask if I have bought the present the previous day just to make sure! And nag your dad to take that day off even though you have full day school! We don't call you high maintenance for nothing and you prove it every day of every year. We do love that about you and life would be so boring otherwise.You are so excited about our special days too and you could be a poster child for Hallmark! Birthdays, anniversaries, valentines day, mothers day, christmas, navarathri,... Name it and you are there 100% into it. Your enthusiasm is infectious and we all bend backwards to please you. And looks like, we always will.

This year has been totally glamorous, travel wise. San jose trip, Alaska cruise, Corsica, Ski trip to Solden, Bombay wedding, Milan and Gardaland, .. you do live the high life! You have had a terrific time everywhere. And your ballet school has an amazing show once in two years and this year you performed in six shows over two weekends in June. It was a 2 1/2 hours show with around 200 kids and you were in three group dances with costume change and everything. You had rehearsals every saturday and sunday for the last two months. And on wednesdays and fridays for a couple of weeks. You missed loads of play dates, birthday parties, .. You were tired and you complained. But you did nt give up. You worked hard, you enjoyed the rehearsals, you loved dancing in the show and were so proud of your accomplishment. We all were. These are the times I realize theres life beyond school and the commitment and responsibility, hard work and accomplishment is a lesson well learnt. Kudos to you, my little Ballerina! 

You have this amazing world inside your little head and you live in that little world of yours. Everything has to be fair, everyone has to be nice, every little thing has to be perfect and its always fun, fun and more fun there. You are always humming or singing or dancing or doing cartwheels and sometimes I am afraid to call your name and pull you away from that perfect world. You imagine a new world in every mundane thing. Rescuing the good potato person from the evil rasam rice, saving the soap bubble from the bad shower head, building a house made of grass for the ants, the tiny baby spider trying to find its mom,... Theres an interesting story behind every bug you see, every toy you have, every twig you find and every place you visit. Oh to be as young and as carefree as you! Though I am the stupid adult now, its so heartwarming to be part of your wonderful world once in a while and I will always cherish it. Keep dreaming, little girl!

Your friends mean the world to you. Your dad is your hero and your sister the boss. I am your universe and you will do anything for us. You are a proper Swiss who likes only freshly made bread, gourmet cheese and dark chocolate. You are a recent owner of a brand new swiss army knife (you assembled it on your own with your name engraved on it) which you always take with you on your hikes. You play outside snow or sun and speak Swiss German with an adorable accent. You are so funny and so practical. The other day I was brushing your hair and you were screaming bloody murder as usual. I asked you why you scream like that and you answered that it hurts. "Is it going to hurt any less if you scream, Antu?", I asked. "No, Amma. But you might stop doing it!", you replied. Jaw, drop and all that. But it is so you. Love you to bits, Pattu. Happy 9th birthday!

 Love,

அம்மா.