27.04.2014

Dear Ashu,

 You do not like too much attention to yourself and I don't know what you will make of all these birthday posts I write every year. May be these letters are just for me even though they are addressed to you. I look at the photos and letters from previous years and my eyes brim over with tears. How time flies and how fast a child grows! Sigh! This year has surely gone by in a hurry. You have always been very matured for your age and as years go by, the changes in you shock me more and more. "Are you Happy, Ashu?" is the question I ask you a lot these days because you seem to be in a "Why am I here?" mode most of the time. You have such simple needs and I learn a lot from you every day. I want to be you when I grow up! :) 

You are the queen of moderation. You like to dress up but you don't care about it too much. You like to eat sweets and watch tv but can also go days without asking for these. You have friends but not many. You talk to people but not too much. Of course, when it comes to reading, its a different story all together. The other day I was cleaning your room and was putting away some stuff to give away and was asking you and Antu what you need and what you don't. You said, "You can give anything away, Amma. Except my books!" You have high expectations for yourself and when you think you have nt met them, you get extremely upset. I make the situation worse by commenting on it which in turn makes you turn nasty to me which makes me lose my temper and the cycle goes on! I wish I were calm and collected and all zen because you deserve a mother like that. Better luck next time, kiddo!

As always, you are doing fine in school, making new friends and keeping in touch with old friends. When your best friend G dropped in on a surprise visit two weeks back to see you, you were so happy! Even though it has been a year since she left the country, you both started giggling as soon as you met and closed the door on us and talked for hours! Which is saying a lot for a child like you. Its heart warming to see you in that mode, Ashu and I wish you have many, many more people like these in your life. This year, we are in the US and you are celebrating your birthday with your uncle and aunt. Its so special for you. Also a bit sad that this is the first birthday you are away from your father and both of you are missing each other a lot. But my very dear cousin and his wife came to visit and theres a big party waiting for you in a few hours so I hope that makes up for it. Try to enjoy all the attention, please!

Antu and you! Sigh! Where do I begin? Lets just 

say planets were nt aligned well for sisters this year and leave it at that. Im gritting my teeth and telling myself that its a phase and you both will grow out of it and I hope it happens really soon for my own sake! I have been saying the exact same dialogues to you girls which my mom used to say to us and I don't even have to rehearse the lines. They automatically pop out of my mouth when the need arises. One would think that two kids who share their mom and dad with each other would have no problem sharing a lousy pencil or a piece of paper between them but NO! Apparently its too much to ask! I hope nine is the magic number and you become the doting sister you were once again. That said, you are very protective of her and ever since we lost Antu in Disneyland for half a minute three years back, you watch her like a hawk every time we are in crowded places. You know every little thing about her. Which is sometimes good and at time, very BAD!

India, Austria, Morocco, USA trips happened this year and you are a happy traveller. We visited Universal studios and Sea World the last couple of days with two sets of uncles and aunts and you had a blast! When almost every child was walking around with souvenirs and stuffed toys, I was the mean mom who would nt buy anything for you two. At the end of the trip, when I relented and let you girls choose one thing, Antu chose the little girl with a unicorn and you wanted all the three girls from the Despicable Me movie. When I said one, you said that the three girls are together and you can't choose just one and you were ok not buying them rather than buying just one. Even though its just a silly movie, it makes me proud that you care about people. I am little proud of myself that I did nt give into the marketing scam! Happy 9th Birthday my little big Girl! Its double digits from next year and I hope to cherish this special year as much as I can and hold on to this nine year old you for ever!

Love,

அம்மா.