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May 25, 2011

Five lessons that Motherhood has taught me.

I think I have been tagged after eons. I have to be blamed because I mostly forget to take up tags. Apologies. So let me do Kiran's tag before I forget. Thanks K for shaking me awake from my blogger's block!

So here are the five lessons that Motherhood has taught me.

1. Patience. I never knew I had so much patience in me. And that its never enough. Like today. We came back from school, cleaned up, ate snacks and after packing every sand toy in the house left for the play area downstairs. I asked the girls to use the bathroom before we left and Antu was very sure that she did nt want to go! I even threatened her that I will not bring her back home if she said that she wanted to use the bathroom as soon as we reached the park. And what happened 10 minutes later? Madam says she has to use the bathroom NOW. This has happened before of course. I tell Ashu to play and that I ll go home and come back in 5 minutes. I walk home with Antu. When we cross the water fountain in front of our apartment, Antu says that she wants to play in the water. "Did nt you want to go to the bathroom NOW?", I ask. "No! I want to go to the water!" I give her a dirty look and drag her home. She sits in the bathroom for 10 minutes and declares that she does nt have to go after all! ARGH!

2. Motherhood has also taught me to shut up. When one does nt have a kind word to tell a mother, especially a new mom, then one has to really shut up. Especially things like "I chose not to take epidural" to a mom who is just being wheeled out after a C-Sec or "I nursed my child until so and so years" to a mom who is struggling with breast feeding are a strict no-no. Hold your tongue, woman! Just stick with "the baby looks just like you" and you will be fine!

3. I know all the Disney Princess's names. And I know who Ben10 is and what Bakugans are. I know how Tooth Fairy works. I know how to make a puppy from play-doh and hot to throw kiddie birthday parties. I know how to turn shoe boxes into storage boxes and I also have watched a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. I know all about potty and sleep training and the ups and downs of breast feeding. I learnt to appreciate Children's literature and can recognize Axel Scheffler's illustrations from a mile away! :)

4. Most importantly, it has taught me to walk out of my comfort zone and take risks. While I'm so afraid of deep frying that I don't ever make HD's favorite pooris or my favorite aamai vadai, I have no problem baking cake after cake for my kids even though many a disaster have occurred. Contrary to the popular belief, Im quite shy and suck at making new friends. I take a step if the other person takes a step but I wont initiate it. I'm too afraid that I might be stepping on their toes. But having a very reserved kid means that I'm her mouth piece. Whether its asking for a play date with Ashu's friend or targeting fellow Desi Moms and pouncing on them at the school entrance or volunteering in school or the numerous get-togethers that happen, I owe everything to motherhood. If not for the kids, I would have been very happy in my shell. But being a mother has taught me that the shell can pretty crowded for a family of four. I owe every friend I have right now to my kids. Including my very dear blog pals. :)

5. hmm.... What else? Oh yeah! I ve learnt that I can fake as a supremely patient and super mom when there are people around! When Antu refuses to leave the park and I tell her very nicely, "Lets go sweetie! We ll go home, eat dinner, read a book and go to bed. Come on now!" what I really mean is "kadankaari! Vandhu tholai! veetukku vaa, unakku irukku*!" Or whenever I write in the blog that I ve given up on Ashu's fussy eating habits and dont bother anymore, what I really mean is that meal times battles still exist but I am not going to write about it here anymore! ;)

* Come home, you brat! You will pay for this!


Anonymous said...

I am laughing loud for point5 :)

Motherhood teaches us things which we would have never be done with out it.

Loved reading your post..

Anonymous said...

Dear Boo,

"kadankaari! Vandhu tholai! veetukku
vaa, unakku irukku"

Super o super.. That's why I love your writing Boo...

Sujatha ramesh

MLC said...

pt 5 made me LOL and i had to thank u fr tht!:-)

Lakshmi said...

love, love, love your take on motherhood!

R's Mom said...

hahahahaha! I so agree to you on point 5...I use the same sweet language but want to tell what you told :) and it sounds so much better in Tamizh na :)

Snowdrop said...

Hi Boo,
I don't remember how I landed here but as soon as I started reading your blogs I could not stop it I must say. I finished reading the whole thing in 2 weeks :) (thats too much reading for me). I am in love with your writing :).This one is as usual a lovely blog.I liked the points 3 and 5 :)Have a good day!
ps: I think 100 times before writing a comment even in my frnds' blogs. So it took me a while to post a comment here .

Harini said...

Hi Boo,
Point 5 made me delurk!! I think I've been reading your blog for almost 2 years now and love the tamil you insert in your blog - so apt and so down-to-earth!!

I got strange looks at work today for laughing out aloud at your words!!! :-D

Sunitha said...

Wonderfully thought out points. Fully appreciate the dedication it requires to be a mom. You ahve managed to make it sound divine and at the same time show a mom's human nature :)

d said...

oh THANK YOU for point 5. i have ALWAYS wondered whether the moms that are super sweet to their kids go back home and say exactly what you wrote! (i of course havent yet developed the art, i say it right there, and get all sorts of weird looks.

A and A said...

As usual good post with usual Boo's Touch! Loved it!

cantaloupes amma said...

Point 5, is the honest truth I tell you ... there are times you'd want to give your kid a tight slap ... but you hold back and say "Come on now sweetie" only in your mind you are yelling "Stop being a pain and come home NOW" :)

Been there and done that many times ...

justanothermommy said...

I love that another mom behaves like me in point 5 :)

Shammi said...

Point 5 cracked me up :)

Anonymous said...

I was starting to think ennadaa namba Boo has written romba serious 1-4 points and all.

You made it up with Point 5. Kadangari adada takes me back to my childhood thittus from amma. Shaniyaney, Kadangari, vandhu tholai etc...



Jill said...

Jill on May 28, 2011 at 8:46 AM said:
Your comment is awaiting moderation.

I love your ideas and for sharing.

I just came over from madmomma's post and had my own thoughts on the need to be judgemental as a parent.

I believe here is so much ‘grey’ in the world, sometimes things are black and white, we don’t always need to second guess ourselves. Gut instinct or first impressions are often surprisingly good,assuming you already have a decent track record of picking pathways through life!! I think this stems from the developmental years between probably 5 and 10 when all our core values and morals are learnt. I used to thnk the teenage years are most important but they are far more about pushing boundaries and discovering yourself rather than changing or learning core values. It just shows that you need the parental influence (as you said, don’t just rely on the babysitter!). Make parent – kid time count.

Going back to using judgements to make decisions, I am a strong believer that if someone is acting strangely or doing something strange- they probably are strange!! Take a wide berth! Without being overly serious, why put yourself in the path of an axe murderer if you can just trust your instinct and walk around. This becomes far more important as you grow up, have kids and realise that you need to look out for the collective and family wellbeing!

You have history and life experience on your side and this deserves others respect and gives you the legitimacy to guide your child’s experience of the world and provide a pathway into the future.

This also makes me think about a topic I recently posted about which is all over the news in Australia. The topic is planking.

Has this reached India or already been dismissed as a fad and the next great thing been discovered.

I would love to hear from all you readers on this controversial topic and whether it is just plain silly or something that workplaces and governments should be getting involved in and making judgements on.

Please see my Tuesday 24 May post if you are interested and leve a comment!!!

If you don’t know what planking is- please alsohave a look.

You have to be one step ahead of your kids!!

Lakshmi said...

Point (5)
Oh, thanks a ton. I thought I was the only hypocritical mom out there ! Good to know I have company.

Meera said...

Thank god u dint start off the post by saying u feel the luckiest to have kids etc etc... and finished it with kadankari...
True telling of motherhood.. Enjoyed reading it :):)

Anonymous said...

Good one..

The No:1 Florist India,

akamonica said...

Commenting after really really long. I was busy having my second baby who is almost 3 months old :-) Its a girl this time. Excellent post as usual.

Hawkeye said...

#2 good one

Anonymous said...

U need to add more tags to goog
E search. I typed in Swiss boo and stuff came up EXCEPT ur blog.

Just Like That said...

Appreciates all you wrote and collapsed at point 5. :-D how how very true! :-)

Priya Mohan said...

I just hit upon your blog and am glad that I did!..Loved reading your posts..hilarious posts I should say and I can totally relate with your writings!.. Thanks for sharing!

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