It’s all coming back to me now.

Agreed that you are always in praise about your hubby when you are newly married and can’t stop talking about him to Tom, Dick and Harry telling them how great he is. You have to prove to the whole world, the ex boy friends, the ex girl friends, the current friends, the cousins and their likes what a great catch you have landed. You believe you are perfectly made for each other and go on and on about it to your friends. How smart he is, what fun he is! The gifts he showers on you. You love to swap hubby stories among your friends and wait for an opportunity to tell them about the surprise dinner he cooked for you on your birthday. You can’t believe how some wives can complain about their husbands so openly and secretly thank God that you have nt ended up with a husband like theirs. You vow never to be like them. You never ever tell anybody about the fights. You quit a perfectly nice job and follow him to the end of the Earth. (I remember a week after getting married I told my sister, "I can’t live without my hubby"! Yikes! It sound so foolish now but if I go back in time, I would say the same thing again, I’m sure. Only more confidently perhaps. Ah! Those were the days!)

But after 5 or 6 years, it should stop. It will stop! Then you will tell only the things you mean. You would advise your 21 year old cousin not to get married so soon. You would tell your 27 year old single friend how lucky she is not to have got caught in marriage and its responsibilities. You would ask your parents why they believe in a stupid institution. You would tell your husband that your pre-married life was bliss. Not that you are nt in love anymore, but because you grow up!

ps. Absolutely my personal experience. Just replace the "you"s with "I"s if you don’t agree! And this post is dedicated to everyone who think couples are caught in loveless marriages after reading their blogs! ;)

Ashu - Dated today.

~> She is almost 14 months old.

~> She saw her first rainbow today.

~> "Suttum vizhi" song from the movie Ghajini is still her favorite.

~> Since she has done damage to her favorite Noddy book, he has been retired.

~> Her favorite is a book with pictures of animals now. Of the 35 animals in it, she points to the goat and says "Aadu". I am really proud of her!

~> She calls me, her dad and my mom as "Amma". Even though I pretend as if it does nt bother me, actually it does a little bit!

~> The fevicol bond is still stronger between her and my dad. I am still amazed why.

~> When asked what her name is, she very cutely says "Taashi". I am thinking about renaming her!

~> When a guest gave her a book she took it from him and said "Thans" much to my amazement. But has nt repeated it since then. Guess I was just hearing things!

~> She can point where her head, ears, ear ring, eyes, nose, mouth, tongue, tummy, hands and legs are. But she always gets only 8/10 things right. Did I say I am proud of her?

~> She loves kids and calls everyone under ten as "Paapaa".

~> She unscrews her ear studs and loses them. Once she put one of them in her mouth and gave me a heart attack.

~> If you give her a box or a bag full of assorted stuff, she ll be occupied for 20 minutes. But the same box/bag won’t work the second time. Because we have photographic memory!

~> When my 3 year old niece comes home to play, Ashu does nt share her toys with her and snatches them from her. She also does nt like it when my dad holds other babies in his arms. I am really wondering where she inherited this from?!!

~> Her shaved head is really funny to touch now!

~> She is still in the "beautiful-in-every-photo" phase! Probably she ll be as long as I live!

My Hero.

While all my classmates would pee in their pants at the thought of being asked to bring one of their parents to school by the teacher, I waited eagerly for an opportunity like that all my school and college life. Unfortunately for me and fortunately for the teachers, it never happened. Actually it happened once but did nt turn out like I wanted it to. I was 13 years old and did nt go to school one day when there was a History test scheduled. The next day the teacher asks me why I had nt come to school the previous day and I say I was sick. "Bring your father to school tomorrow", says she. After school, I go home and tell my dad to drop me at school the next day as the History Miss wants to meet him. He does. I take him to the Staff room and introduce him to my history miss. She asks, "Yes, what do you want?" I am puzzled. I tell her "You asked me to bring my father." She’s puzzled now. "Oh? Ok. So she was sick day before? She did nt come to school." My father: "Yes she was and she told you that did nt she?" "Well ok then!" says the teacher. My father: “You can take her word hereafter. She does nt lie. I don’t have to come to the school all the way for this, ok?" The teacher nods her head and tells me to run to the class as the lessons are going to start. I smile at my dad and run away. The funny thing about all this is I LIED. I was nt sick. I did nt study for the test and bunked school. My dad knew it too! I have never been so proud of him! He picked up a fight with my sisters school head master too in a similar incident but that time my sister was right and he stuck to her side.

To be honest, my parents overdid it. No one can get away with saying anything not-so-nice about their daughters. All my uncles and aunts would complain about their kids like they are nt studying; they are lazy; they are irresponsible, etc... But my parents would always compliment us. She has got first rank, she got first prize,.. .which was nt always true. Till this day my dad tells everyone that I was school first in my 12th board exams when I was only second. My best friend was first and when I remind him of that, he says "She’s also like my daughter!" What a logic, huh? All my classmates were really jealous of me to have such a cool dad. That he hit me unlike any other dad of my friends was another issue. But at least I could bunk school whenever I wanted to do! I don’t know how I turned out the way I turned out. I drew the line myself and did nt cross it and it worked out fine for me. My sister is the golden girl. She aced through school and college without my parents uttering the word "study" ever. We studied because we wanted to study. I know lots of children need to be told what to do and may be this method would have been disastrous for another child. But I loved my dad for what he did for me. I knew I could count on him and he would be on my side against anything in this world. That trust is something I treasure. He has always been a phone call away. When I called him from college, the first thing he would ask is "When do you want to come home?" He would judge my mood just from my "hello". I would go home for holidays and keep on postponing the trip back to college. He ll take me to the bus stand and as soon as the "Trichy" bus comes, I ll have a frog in my throat and tell him "I ll go tomorrow Pa." He ll immediately take me back home without a question. One time, this went on for 3 days continuously and on Thursday my dad said, "Stay here for the weekend. You can go on Monday". I readily agreed and left for sure on Monday. I can’t remember what went through my mind. Why did nt I quit college like Rupa did? Or why did nt I go to college without a single leave of absence like Shanti did? Puzzling!

There have been millions of instances when I have called him in a helpless situation knowing full well he would be helpless too. But just talking to him and having him worry for me made me feel better. When I was in Bangalore alone and HD was in Swiss and my dad in Coimbatore, I had a flat tyre with my Kinetic Honda. I stood in the middle of the road not knowing what to do. I called HD from my mobile! (Yes, to Switzerland!) He did nt pick up the phone. I called my dad then. He asked me to enquire in a shop for a garage nearby. I asked a pharmacist and he told me there was one in that corner. I walked there and got it fixed. After I got engaged, I was really scared to get married and go and live with almost-strangers. Every night I would pick a fight with my parents and tell them that they were heartless to make me go live like that.

Me: What would I do for money? Do I have to ASK "them" for money?
Dad: I ll open a bank A/c for you and get a cheque book.
Me: What would I do if they ask me to wash all their clothes?
Dad: They have a washing machine.
Me: I dreamt** that the machine was broke and they asked me to wash all their clothes by hand.
Dad: In that case, just pack your bags and come home.
Mom: *going bonkers* WHAT? What kind of advice is that? Will you please shut up!
Me: What? I can’t come home Ma?
Dad: Don’t care what she says. You can come anytime you want to.
Me: *mighty pleased* So have you decided the menu for the reception dinner?

I know I sound so stupid and naive but I have my own super-hero to think for me! :) So here’s to you dad! Happy Fathers Day!

ps. HD, take a hint and start doing something if you want Ashu to write about you fondly in her blog. I am pretty sure I have blown my chance already! ;)

pps. My dad has fallen greatly in my dad-scale since my daughter’s birth but has already passed with honors in Ashus grand dad scale. So no complaints there!

** I really dreamt that! :)

More like Teeny-Weeny-Me!

Since Ashu had her head shaved yesterday, I have been trying to find out whom she looks like as I was seeing a familiar face in her. And then to my horror, I realized that she resemebles Mini-Me!! That I watched a few scenes from Goldmemember *puke* a few days back on TV did nt help me on this one. It has completely grossed me out now. And I have gone and written about it here too! Oh God, what have I done? Anyway, this post will be long gone before Ashu learns to google. Imagine the horror when she googles for Mine-me by some freak coincidence and lands up here!

Mottai.

My poor baby went through a "hair-rising" experience today and lost all her hair to the Vaidhyanatha Swamy at the Vaidheeswaran Kovil. It was really bad. Poor thing screamed her lungs out. My dad who 27 years earlier had grabbed me half way between my mottai and ran for cover had to hold Ashu straight and put up with her screaming. He would have done the same to Ashu also but the baby he thought he was saving years earlier was giving him "I-will-kill-you-if you-even-think-about-it-look"! I mean, even I did nt want this thing done in the first place but half mottai? HD missed the whole thing. Good for him as it was really bad. Pretty barbaric! 15 minutes of pure heart break to any parent. Anyway, Ashu was her happy self as soon as the last hair fell from her head so that was a relief. She touched her head with both her hands and had a quizzical look in her face which made all of us smile! I thought probably all the man-handling by my dad would have some effect and she would stop clinging to my dad like a creeper but no such luck. Lets see if that happens after the 3 months separation when my dad goes to US. One can only hope!

By the way, heres the before and after snap. Not as bad as I thought it would be. Just like I was paranoid about how I would look in a Madisaar for the first time and then everyone told me "Unakku romba baandhamaa irukku"(You look good!), Ashu looks more cuddly now if that is possible only a little like a sand paper at one end!

Hair today...

... gone tomorrow! :(

Long time, no see!

I was blank. Just blank. Could nt think of anything to write and did not feel like writing anything at all for that matter. Probably my creative juices(I can hear you go "huh?" Ok ok, I get the point!) flow only when I am in the cubby hole of my flat in Bangalore sitting on my plastic moulded chair with one leg on the sofa and Ashu crying for my attention! Well, here I am in Bangalore after 22 days. Had a blast in my cousins wedding in Chennai. The weather was nt as bad as I had expected. My dad was staying in a hotel pretty close to the wedding hall and I took sanctuary there whenever I felt like it. And when Ashu had to go potty. And when she had to take a bath. And when she had to change into her next Pattu Paavadai. And when she went to sleep. So you get the picture, right? I was in the hotel room pretty much the entire time! :) It felt good to be decked up in Kancheepurams and jewelleries and pose for photographs after a long time! Ashu was at her crankiest and making her wear the pattu paavdai itself was such a big deal that I did nt even try to keep my hands on her hair! So she had the "just-got-up-from-sleep" look the entire time, much to my moms utter disappointment!

Anyway, its good to be back home but in 2 days Im leaving again to my parents place. On a sudden plan they are leaving for the US to be with my sister for a couple of months and I want to be there until they leave so that they spend some time with Ashu. The remote idea that I could also go with them was completely squashed when I found out that there is a 6 months waiting period for the US visa appointment in Chennai. Anyway, not like that I was desperate or something! :-P

ps.
Thanks Witchy for missing me! ;)