Today is special.

Me: I did nt get anything for your birthday. Not even a card. I am so sorry.
HD: It's ok. I understand.
Me: I absolutely did nt ve time to get anything. You know how busy I am at home.
HD: I know. No worries.
Me: I am not lying. I swear.
HD: Ok dear.
Me: I usually overwhelm you with gifts but this time nothing, nada, zilch.
HD: That’s ok.
Me: I promise that I ll try to be a better person from today.
HD: Great. That’s the best gift you can give me on my birthday.
Me: What do you mean? That I am not a better person? I am bad?
HD: No. No. You are good. But there’s always place for improvement.
Me: What do you mean I am good? I am the best.
HD: I know. Even I have to improve myself.
Me: Excuse me. "Even I??" What do you mean by "even" I?
HD: I did nt mean it that way, ok?
Me: Whatever.

Happy Birthday Dear. You are my best half!

20 things that change when you have a baby .

Something I came across in the Babycenter newsletter which I liked.

1. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
2. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
3. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
4. You're less self-involved and more self-motivated.
5. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
6. You respect your body ... finally. (Hooray for baby-making!)
7. You have stronger opinions and are stronger willed.
8. You respect your parents and love them in a new way. (Hooray for grandparents!)
9. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
10. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child. (Hooray for the tooth fairy!)
11. You lose touch with the people in your life that you should have banished years ago.
12. Your heart breaks much more easily.
13. You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else.
14. Every day is a surprise.
15. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
16. You think before you speak.
17. You become a morning person. (Hooray for watching the sun rise!)
18. If you have a son, you no longer curse men. (Hooray for all men!)
19. If you have a daughter, you hope she won't endure your same heartaches.
20. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

Se7en.

Ashu completed 7 months yesterday. As in every month, I can’t believe my baby girl is nearing her first birthday! I know I am going to feel the same way in every stage of her life. I ll become that old person who will keep saying, "When you were young...". I truly understand now how my parents feel when I order them around. How can the little person whose ass we wiped can tell us what to do? We ll always be the little person to them just like Ashu is going to be for me. Two decades from now or may be sooner, when Ashu is going to teach me how to work the TV remote, I am sure I’m going to think the same. After all, I am always going to be older than her. I was here first. I should know better!

Solids.

Ashu has started eating solids! We had a small function at home, Annaprashnam, and she was introduced solids for the first time! Slurped the teeny weeny bit of payasam and asked for more! Since coming to India, madam has developed a sweet tooth! Every one coming to see her, keeps a pinch of sugar on her lips and she starts liking them immediately and glues to them like super glue in the hope of getting more sugar. The ignorant guests think she is such a friendly baby and shower compliments. Guess I don’t ve to teach this one any tricks! A few spoons of mashes dal and rice, banana and apple followed. She likes the act of eating more than what she’s eating. I hope the excitement does nt wear off. Carrots and potatoes followed. She is thrilled that there are so many varieties in food. It’s becoming impossible for us to eat in front of her. She sees the food disappearing into our mouths, opens her own mouth and brings her head forward. Poor thing!

She’s saying "Thathatha" and my dad is thrilled. Only once she said, "papapa" and once she said "Aathaa". Guess "Amma" is nt far away. Kid, I’m the one who feeds you, cleans you, bathes you and takes care of you while your Appa is comfortably sitting on a bus somewhere in Hosur road, so start working on "Amma". Though "Aathaa" is acceptable, not for long! Got it?

Random thoughts I was recording until I got the Internet connection today.(atlast!)

Friday 21st Oct
------------------

Said good-bye to Basel one last time and left for Bangalore on Thursday morning. The flight was uneventful. Ashu did nt trouble at all and Maya our 10-month-old neighbor was a charming little thing. Do they spray "Happy-Baby" spray in the airplanes I wonder? (Can I get some?) Reached Bangalore without a glitch. Waited an hour for the baggage and with a racing heart rushed out to meet the two brand new set of grandparents. Like expected, the four pairs of eyes were on Ashu and we just became the insignificant baby carriers! Reached home at 2 AM and after an hour of baby petting HD and I had enough, took Ashu and locked us in the bedroom. Zoom to 8.30 am next day, I got up. Gossiped with my parents (!) until Ashu and HD got up. Number of teas, Idlis and visitors followed. Ashu sneezed non-stop, caught a cold and looked so miserable that I just wanted to scoop her up and fly back to good old dust-free Basel!! It's good to be back nevertheless.

Saturday 22nd Oct
----------------------

Phew! What a day! Relatives pouring in to see Ashu. If it was dresses and toys in Swiss, it’s all gold jewelry here! Good decision we made to come back here, huh? Ashu has met her great grand parents, grand aunts and grand uncles all maternal side. Once we go to Chennai there’s an even bigger crowd waiting. There’s going to be an engagement next weekend and it’s an exciting prospect to meet everyone from our family and not to mention good food.
Some of the things I ve to put up with:

1. There’s no name called Arushi in Sanskrit. There’s only Aruni. So try to change your daughter’s name, if u cant change then at least call her Aruni at home.

2. Don’t kiss the baby’s feet. She ll run away. (Odi poiduvaa)

3. Use Gram flour to bathe her, she ll become fair.

4. Don’t make her laugh. Her stomach will hurt.

5. Feed the baby. (The most repeated so far!)

Sunday
--------

Yippee! Shops are open on Sundays here unlike Basel where Sunday is more like a curfew. Hd and I checked out the new Shoppers Stop that has opened a branch in Bannerghatta Road. (Might be old. 2 years back it was nt here, though!) Rs.10 for parking. Why would a store want to charge for parking inside their premises? As if their exorbitant prices are nt enough? It seems they ll give back the money if you are a member. You are a member if you pay Rs.100. That money will be deducted from your next bill. So when I decided to buy a dress for Ashu, they say the next bill has to be after 24 hours after the first bill. Someone had too much time on their hands to think of such utterly useless rules. Shoppers stop or stop shoppers? We went there to check out high chairs for Ashu. There was only one and I did nt like it. It was Rs.4000. I definitely did nt like that.

TV
---

I happened to see "Mayilirahe" song from the movie "Ah Aah" on TV. This is a song I ve been hearing all the time on headphones and loved it to bits. And now I see it on TV. I was too much in shock that I am still in denial. How can such a beautiful song be slaughtered like this? No sane person can do this. The director is the actor and it is easily the worst picturization ever. I ve been disappointed before. (Thannan thaniye from Rhythm) but nothing to this level. I thought I ve seen everything. But Sachein is considered for Oscar entry and now this. What is this world coming to?

HD joined office today. Exactly after two years, he is traveling to Electronic city from home. It took him 3 hours and 30 mins to reach. It seems it’s because of the heavy rain which battered Bangalore yesterday. Otherwise it takes only 1 1/2 hours it seems. I am relieved!

Note to self: Put a book, Cd player, biscuits, water bottle, water jacket, tooth brush, underwear and a bicycle in Hd's backpack.

2 weeks later
----------------

After lots of traveling here, there and everywhere we are back to Bangalore. HD came to Bangalore a week before us and missed Ashu a lot. In this one-week, Ashu started crawling, stands up on her own with support comfortably and cries if she needs anything. HD said she has grown up a lot in a week. For the first time in my life, I had to sacrifice some thing because I have a baby. I could nt attend my best friends wedding. Traveling with Ashu is difficult and traveling without her while breastfeeding is unthinkable. I know my friend will never forgive me. But one day she ll understand when she has a little one of her own. To avoid her wrath, did nt call her yet. Another unforgivable mistake. But the silence is getting longer and uncomfortable. I better call her soon before the situation gets out of hand. 8 years back if someone had told me that I would nt be attend her wedding and also feel reluctant to call her, I would ve slapped them then and there, called them names and swore on my great-grand mothers grave (May God rest her soul!) that nothing would stop me from attending her wedding. Time, I tell you!

Today Ashu was playing. My mom moved the mat under Ashu with Ashu on top to one side and she fell face down on the mat. Nothing happened but as I saw it, I had a strange feeling. The closest I can describe it is it felt like a car ramming through my heart. I am not kidding. It happened in a flash. But it was very much on the left side of my chest and for the first time in my life I actually felt my heart. Guess, this is what is a tug in your heart. Nobody can call me heartless anymore huh?

Heard the music? Now move aside!

Two years out of India and I knew I would be comparing and have dislikes. But to my surprise, I am glad I am back and enjoying every day. Well, until now. Something, which is supposed to be insignificant, is annoying me a lot wherever I go. Noise. A particular noise. Honking we all are immune to. Even if honking seems new, you get used to it. But who ever thought of reverse gear music? Can it even be called music? Beethoven, Mozart, latest film songs, ring tones, Vande Matharam and even our National Anthem are nt spared. What's the point of this piece of noise? It's not like you don't look back while reversing. And if you want to catch someone's attention, that's why the honks are for right? Or are the drivers so bored with honking that they had to go for this? Or they think honking is for the person in front and popular ring tones for the people behind? They are so loud and played so long that you thank the heaven that parking rules are nt strict here. Otherwise by the time a learner parallel-parks perfectly, you would ve heard every "kuthu paatu" currently in the charts. As if this is nt enough, my neighbor parks his car even at 2 am sometimes and I live on the first floor directly above the car parks. I could ve forgiven him earlier but not now. It's not that "your sleep is disturbed and you go back to sleep" anymore. It's "screaming and crying and feeding and rocking back to sleep" now. If you thought I was over-reacting, now you know how this insignificant thing is playing havoc in my life. As if we need more factors to lose sleep. Come on; get a mute button all of you. Or else, you will find a baby in your back seat. But you probably won't hear her screaming while reversing to Nokia ring tone!

Whats with the grand-parents?

My dad wants to resign his job and spend all his time with Ashu. My mom is ready to leave her husband and come to Bangalore with me and stay with us to take care of Ashu. My FIL wants to buy a big car so that Ashu can be comfy and my MIL shows the gentle side in her. They have all the patience in the world. They can talk to her and play with her all day long. They get excited at everything she does including the farts. Grand indeed!

1/2 year "old".

Ashu has changed. A lot. I don’t know if she would ve been like this if we had stayed in Switzerland. Probably. But it’s astounding to see how fast she has learnt new things and how fast she’s growing. There she did new things but at a slow and steady pace and we would ve time to enjoy and the phase would last at least for a couple of days. But here, she’s doing a new thing almost every minute and if you blink, you miss. She’s swimming forward, almost crawling. She gets up and stands on her own with support. She falls so much that we cant put her anywhere but the family bed and one person has to be there with her every second. We leave her alone when she is sleeping with 10 pillows forming a fortress around her. But somehow she makes a gap, moves forward and bangs her head on the headboard and screams. Thankfully she has not fallen out of the bed yet. But that day is nt far. She absolutely does nt want to sit on her car seat strapped. Her grand parents don’t want her to cry even for a second. So I don’t know how difficult/easy I’m making my life. She smiles all the time and at everyone. Her whole face lights up when she sees HD or me. She cries only if she’s sleepy or hungry. During Diwali, she liked the sparklers and smiled at them. She did nt like the crackers and cried at their sounds. She behaved beautifully during the "Annaprashnam" (Introducing solids) function and the "Thottil" (cradle) function. Everyone had something nice to tell about her. I can’t tell how proud I was. If she shakes hands and fetches a ball, I will be in heaven!

Location : India.

I am alive and Ashu is kicking. 15 days without Internet and it felt like hell. Cant google, cant mail, cant blog, cant blog-hop, ... What was I doing before I got my first Email Id I wonder?

It's good to be back. I have to say that. I owe it to all the good food I ve been eating. But the rains,..! One day of rain and Bagalore is flooded. Half a day of rain and Chennai is flooded. The roads and the traffic were horrendous. A week in Bangalore, then Diwali at Chennai and now at my Parent's place, my home town, Kumbakonam. Ashu is being a doll all the time with all the attention and everyone keep asking me why was I complaining about such a well-behaved baby! Yeah, right!

My one hour is up at the browsing center. More later. I cant tell you how excited I am to be back to blog and mainly read my favourite blogs. Thank you so much people.