Notes from a Small Town.

The one good thing about my parents living in a small town is that Im totally relaxed. I am taking laziness to an all new level. Like in Madras, no mad shopping to do hunting for that perfect short kurta, no restaurant hopping looking for that elusive Schezwan fried rice, no beaches, no visits to the dentist,... Im not even moving my behind to go to any of the temples for which this town is famous for. Only one quick visit was done to Govindapuram the day before the Kumbabhishekam.

I signed up Ashu for a 10 day swimming camp in a hotel pool nearby. Never in a million years would I have thought that my daughter will learn swimming in Kumbakonam of all places!! Unfortunately I took my dad along for the first class and seeing her splutter and pant, he took the coach aside (Im not sure if he bribed him! Hes capable of it!) and told him to teach her swimming with her head above the water! sigh. The even more sad part is that the coach agreed and now after the last lesson, Ashu is swimming exactly like how our Labrador (God bless her soul!) used to when she fell on the Kodaikanal lake!

I hardly come online or talk on the phone. My mom and dad take care of the girls. If Im really tired watching TV or looking at the ceiling (during the power cut), I play judge to the Pallankuzhi match between my 96 year old grandma and 6 year old daughter. My happiness cant be measured when Ashu makes her move after she counts the Sozhis discreetly so that she can pothufy Kaasi or take a muthu. I can proudly say that she has become the member of the Secret Society of Pallankuzhi! Antu is having her own fun upturning the heavy wooden board and scattering the Sozhis everywhere. Some (read Sis!) might say that Antu is following my footsteps but for the record, I did it only when I lost a game, mind it!

If you think at 96, my grandma is the oldest in the family, you are wrong. My grand uncle turned 100 (One Hundred!) recently and he lives with my uncle and aunt next door. Ashu and Antu visited him as usual and he remembered their visit 6 months back and said, "The little one will come to me. Shes not shy like the older one!" Gotta give it to the old man! Sharp as a cookie even though hes very weak physically. The irony is that every time we visit home, my mom or my grandma will insist that we go visit him as soon as possible because "God knows when what will happen? Seekram poi paathutu vandhudu". This has been going on for the past 10 years and its really hilarious that this dialogue is coming from my 96-not-out grandma. Poor thing used to wipe her tears and say, "May be I wont be here the next time you visit. Take care of the kids"! But even she thought enough is enough and during my last trip declared, "May be Im not going anywhere until I see Ashu getting married! So see you next time!" Hope to God I have the same sense of humor when Im old. (Not that old, please God!)

I dont know why but I sense that my parents are very proud that we live in Switzerland and I cant explain why but Im most reluctant to tell near strangers where I live. Ashu being the girl she is hardly ever strikes a conversation with strangers and even if she does, she ll only answer to Yes or No questions. Antu being small, people hardly direct their questions at her and even when she says "I live in Zurich", people assume she said Zoo and give me a weird look! So that only leaves my mother! While on the train, I went to the loo for like 30 seconds and my mom had introduced her grand daughters to half the compartment and maamas and maamis are asking me how I manage in the snow! One gentleman is asking ashu what her name is in German(!) and another lady is asking me if I get Murungaikaai there! Some people dont even know where Swiss is (Adhu enna? Newzealand pakkathula irukko?) and I have to tell them that it is near London! (My apologies to the Swiss!)

I dont know how my parents did it when we were kids but watching TV with Ashu is like Chinese torture. It does nt help that she has nt watched a full length Hindi or Tamil movie. Or a non-kiddy English film for that matter. It feels like a different Ashu is unleashed when I watch a Tamil movie and she catches a few scenes. "Why is that baby crying? Why is the mom leaving the baby and going to fight a war? Why is she crying now? So what if she came to know she is adopted? She has a mom and dad, right? Why does she care about her real mom who left her?" All this for a two minutes scene from Kannathil Muthamittaal. As if this is nt enough, there was a scene where Maddy and Iduppazhagi are hugging and the Akka character stops them. "Why cant they hug? Why is she stopping them? So what if they are nt married? So why dont they get married? Why should they ask the dads permission? Why dont they just get married and surprise him?" This from a girl who still informs me that shes going to the bathroom before she does! God save me! And here we were my sis and I as kids suffering through rape scenes, kissing scenes, hugging scenes, near rape before the hero saves his sister scene, rape after which the girl marries the rapist and lives happily ever after scenes, rape followed by suicide scenes, rape followed by murder scenes, MGR duet songs, Moods advertisement, etc... etc... etc... without batting an eyelid and without a peep! And in those days, parents could nt even change channels like we can today because there was only one channel to watch and most importantly there was no remote. And even if one was lucky to get the Srilankan channel Rupavahini , changing the channel meant that someone has to go to the terrace and change the direction of the TV Antenna to a certain angle and for people below to scream, "Yes, yes. STOP! No, no. Go back! Yes. A bit more. No No. Too much." Im sure its hilarious to hear now but it was one of the most frustrating thing, let me assure you. Coming back to the point, what am I doing wrong?

All good things must come to an end and so did the mango season. Just when I was finishing a whole Rumaani Mango and scraping the seed with my teeth for that last bit of pulp stuck there, my mom announced that that was going to be my last mango for this trip. For a moment, I thought of swallowing that seed whole but the childhood conditioning of how a tree will sprout from my head if I ever swallowed a seed would nt let me do it. Well, theres always the next season I suppose. I can wait.

Let He who has never eaten a road side Pani Puri cast the first stone!

Yes, we just swat the flies away and continue to eat the very same food the fly was sitting on a second ago. We remove ants from our tea/coffee and drink it. Not only drink, we even relish it! We dont stop and wonder where the fly was sitting two seconds before it was sitting on our bondas or if the ants marched from the bathroom! We do draw a line when it comes to cockroaches and lizards though! (Only because the critters are too big to ignore!) Ok? Alright? Happy? Now dont roll your eyes! Yes, you! You dared to ask me how I could possibly do such awful stuff? I just smiled and nodded and walked away. All the while I wanted to ask you, "I have never seen you or any member of your family take off your shoes before entering your house. Your child crawls in that house. Your older one drops a biscuit on the floor and picks it up and eats it. Have you ever wondered that the very same shoes you are walking around the house with are the same pair you were wearing when you used the public bathroom earlier in the day?" And dont get me started on public swimming pools! Now, shoo! Go away and let me eat my beach side molaga bajji in peace!

Summer Vacation.

As usual, our India trip is going strong. After a wonderful week in Madras where we went to the beach everyday, the kids, my mom and I Ieft for Bangalore while poor Hd had to go back to Zurich. Antu being the appa gondu is missing him quite a bit! The Bangalore trip was to strictly meet my maternal family and friends and we did just that. We stayed in four different places in five days, met dozens of relatives and friends and spent more time in the car than any house! The girls had a wonderful time everywhere. S who left Zurich in April and had nt even settled in Bangalore fully yet dared to invite us to spend a night in her place and Ashu packed her bag even before I said yes! The girls had a sweet reunion and my heart swelled. Antu too seemed to have missed the little boy. So much so that she did nt bully him at all! As far as I know, that is! :) Thanks, S! Whats life without a blog meet? Lovely Art opened her house yet again for a blog meet and it was nice to put a face to many people! My cousin A with her two kids played host one day and I got so nostalgic thinking about all my summer holidays as a kid spent in Bangalore with A playing Amma-Appa games! Where did time go? My two college going nieces were absolutely adorable and the kids stuck to them. I was so tempted to kidnap one of the girls back to Zurich. Perfect baby sitters! :) They also took me with them to watch Dehi Belly! God! What a movie! I cant remember having laughed so much in a theatre in the recent past! A must-see! That reminds me, Hd and I caught Aaranya Kaandam and it was bloody BRILLIANT! I plan to watch both movies again.

Ashu and Antu met so many of their cousins and other friends kids that they were truly overwhelmed and Ashu was giving me the "What the hell are we doing in Zurich?" look all the time! Sigh! After the hectic trip, took a train back home. My parents place, I mean. Phew. The true vacation begins here with nothing to do all day long! Just what I need to recharge my batteries before I board the flight back to Zurich and get into the routine life! Ashu is busy playing Pallankuzhi with her great grandma, hide and seek with her friends, magic tricks with her grandpa, fighting with her sister, arguing with me, going for swim classes and skipping her Tamil tutions with my mom and playing Uno with her instead! I don't see Antu in one place for more than two minutes unless and until shes sleeping. Me? I am sincerely doing the one thing I came here to do braving the summer. Mangoes, ripe mangoes, red mangoes, sweet mangoes!

27.06.2011

Dear Antu,
As long as we live outside India, your birthday is always going to be in India or in the US, I guess. Just like your first birthday, we are back in India for your third as well! Are nt you a lucky girl to be celebrating amongst your doting Thathas and Paatis? This year, you were truly looking forward for your birthday and even declared, "Amma! I ll blow the candles and you cut the cake, ok?" I know its all your sister's coaching but it sounded so sweet when you said that. Unlike the previous years, I'm shocked that you are only three! Really? You talk more than your sister and some times you even seem to know more than your father and you act like a thirteen year old me! Deadly combination, I tell you! Tone it down, little girl! I want to live long enough to see your kids giving you grey hair! ;)

We had a family dinner get-together yesterday in Madras and you blew the candles and cut the birthday cake surrounded by your grand parents, grand uncles, grand aunts, uncles, aunts, older and younger cousins and especially your great grand mother. This is the best kind of birthday according to me. I felt so loved with so many of the family present and I hope you realize how lucky you are to have had that special day. Ashu was the perfect hostess, as usual! Thank her when you are old enough to understand how much she does for you. It is frustrating to see you take her for granted and manipulate her to get your way in everything but I know its just a phase (correction: loooooooooooong phase!) and later you will worship her and that she ll mean the world to you. Personal experience speaking, of course! So I guess I have to grin and bear.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Sweetie Pie! Hope you are always surrounded by love like you are today.

Love,
Amma.

ps.
Yes, I owe you half a piece of baby corn fry. I should nt have let the Cascade waiter take your plate away when you had nt finished your baby corn fry. But you need not have kept saying,"He took my baby corn!" with an accusing finger pointing to the waiter every time he crossed our table. Before your next birthday, I ll get you a full plate of baby corn fry and will also let you finish it. Deal?

Kung Fu Panda 2.

Ashu's KG graduation gift was a movie - Kung Fu Panda 2. I was thrilled to go for a movie with her. Though her first movie was Toy Story 3 last year, she watched it with my Bil. So this was our first time to the big screen together. Naturally, I was making a big deal and she did nt care! The news spread and more moms and kids joined our plan. At the end, we were 4 moms and 9 kids. Hd could nt believe we were leaving him and Antu and going on Father's day but we reminded him that every day is fathers day and we don't believe in all this marketing scam! Mother's day is almost a year away. So he ll forgive and forget, Im hoping! ;)

Armed with 3D glasses and a pick-your-own-sweets bag (madam does nt believe in popcorn, the ultimate movie companion!) she walked to the dark screen and plonked herself in between two of her friends while I stood and glared at her! "Do you want to sit here, Ashu?", I managed to squeak. "No, Amma! I'm going to sit here!", came the prompt reply. hmph! I could have just dropped her at the entrance and gone home, I guess! The ungrateful child! Anyway, we loved the movie. Even though there were nt many laugh-aloud scenes, Ashu seemed to be laughing whenever Po was on screen! The 3D experience also enhanced the movie and the animation was just breathtaking. The colors were just brilliant. I could nt take my eyes off. I wanted to pause each scene and look at every little detail. What an effort! Lord Shen, the peacock was my favorite! ( But he seemed too stiff when he was walking. No offence to the Dreamworks team, but I have never seen a peacock walk without moving his long neck. Thats the classic movement of the peacock, is nt it? May be Lord Shen had a botox or something? ;)

After the movie, Ashu said that she liked this better than Toy Story. (Come on, Pixar! Do something!) I asked her if she understood the story and she said she did. "But I did nt understand one thing, Amma. What is Inner Peace?" Err.... A profound question indeed! But I expect no less from Ashu. "You know how Amma is on a school day morning, Ashu? When you cant find your water bottle and Antu refuses to drink her milk and your dad is on a phone call and I'm making tea and breakfast and lunch and trying to comb your hair all at the same time?" "Yes....", Ashu gulped. "Well. Inner peace is exactly the opposite!", I declared. She, of course, did not get it. But I found inner peace alright, even if it lasted only a minute! :)

Kindergarten Girl Graduates.

Was nt it just yesterday that I blogged about Ashu's first day of Kindergarten? Time flew and here we are on the last day of KG. Sigh! At least Ashu is all excited that she is going to be in FIRST GRADE from TOMORROW. (according to her!) But I cant seem to let go of my Kindergartner. Well, there is always Antu, I suppose!

Today when we were getting ready and I was wiping tears and packing her lunch, (because I knew it will come back half eaten AGAIN!), Ashu declared "I don't want to go to school, Amma!"

"What? Why? You love school."

"Yes, Amma. But I don't like last days. I want yesterday to be my last day and I dont want to go today."

"I know its tough, Ashu. But you have to go today and say good bye to everyone."

(sighs) "OK."

"And also today is the last day and if you miss today then you can never ever go to Kindergarten ever again in your life even if you wanted to. Think about that."

"No Amma. I can go to Kindergarten again if I become a teacher!"

Well, theres no arguing with a Kindergartner, I guess! I shudder at the thought of a precocious first grader at home!

Big-Ears and a Big Disappointment.

The very first book Ashu got as a gift at the ripe young age of 5 months was "Noddy's squeaky shoes". (Excluding the tonnes of book my sis got for her, that is!) We would have read it to her at least a million times. And I think her first TV show was "Make way for Noddy" too. At least thats what she liked the most to watch on TV. So much so that my mom got her a huge stuffed Noddy toy for her 1st birthday. She got a Noddy cake too. And when we left for Zurich when she was 20 months old, I bought a couple of Noddy CDs and about a dozen Noddy books. Which she has watched/been read to a couple of more million times. She has poured through each and every picture in each page, well... a million times. Rinse and repeat for Antu too. Now after all that Noddy overdose for SIX long years, Ashu picked up the "A Bike for Big-Ears" today and declared that she can read the whole book all by herself! I was all ears, of course! ;) But she stumbled on the second page. And on a very simple world - "He".

"Big-Ears is a BOY?", she asked with her eyes as wide as saucers! Silly me thought at first that shes asking if he were a man or a boy. So I said No. Then she said, "But it says "He" here. She is a He? He is a She?" Since I had watched Mrs. Doubtfire very recently, I burst out laughing!

"Of course Big-Ears is boy. Hes a man actually! Did you really think he was a woman all this time?"

"Yes, Amma! Look at the long hair!"

"Thats not his hair, Ashu! Thats his beard!"

"Really? Wow!

I could see her whole Noddy world crashing down inside her head. She literally shook her head and continued reading and finished the book. It was a bittersweet feeling for me. One one hand, I was thrilled that she could read on her own. But on the other, it was upsetting that she ll be concentrating on the words more than the pictures. Power of the word, huh?

Schloss Neuschwanstein.

This year for our anniversary, we were in Fussen, Germany. It happened to be an extra long weekend here last week and in continuing our tradition of being in a different city for each of our anniversaries, we pulled it off successfully for the 11th time. When we went here 8 years back on our first visit to Germany, I was so looking forward to visit the Neuschwanstein Castle. But it was a foggy day and we could nt see a thing. While we did take a tour inside, the picture postcard views were sorely missed and I vowed to go back again just for the views. My dream came true last Saturday. Ashu was thrilled to see a real castle and the weather was just perfect.

We bought a combo ticket for both Neuschwanstein Castle and Hohenschwangau Castle. We booked it online so that we dont have to stand in long lines and also theres a mad rush in Summer. One can see the inside of the castles only with guided tours and chances are that we might not get a time we want if we buy it directly from there. So in spite of the online booking fee, its worth it. (Though kids go free, there was a booking fee for them too. Go figure!) We drove from Zurich to Fussen which is around 3 hours and stayed there overnight. The next morning we drove to Schwangau which is 10 minutes drive and parked near the ticket office. From there, its a 10 to 15 minutes walk to the Hogenschwangau castle. Theres also a horse drawn carriage which takes you to the castle. But we used it for the Neuschwanstein Castle since its a 40 minutes uphill walk and also time was tight between the two castle tours. Its a very good idea to take the stroller for young kids.

Hohenschwangau was King Ludwig's childhood home. He built the Neuschwanstein Castle later but never completed it since he died under mysterious circumstances.(He drowned in the lake at the age of 41 along with his... wait-for-it... psychiatrist!) After the tour of the first castle, we walked back and took a carriage to go to castle no. 2. There was a long line but we did nt have to wait long since there were many carriages. The girls thoroughly enjoyed the royal ride! Neuschwanstein Castle is just breathtakingly beautiful. And what a location! After the tour, we walked to the Marienbrucke (a bridge) which is around 30 minutes walk from the castle for the fantastic view. It was totally worth hiking with the kids. Then we walked back to a restaurant near the castle and had a late lunch. (A platter of asparagus in hollandaise sauce, anyone?) Fussen is also a beautiful town and the town centre with the cobbled roads is very charming with shops and restaurants lining the street. The next day we drove to Forggensee, a beautiful lake, and did a one hour boat cruise. The views were beautiful. A perfect anniversary weekend getaway.

Five lessons that Motherhood has taught me.

I think I have been tagged after eons. I have to be blamed because I mostly forget to take up tags. Apologies. So let me do Kiran's tag before I forget. Thanks K for shaking me awake from my blogger's block!

So here are the five lessons that Motherhood has taught me.

1. Patience. I never knew I had so much patience in me. And that its never enough. Like today. We came back from school, cleaned up, ate snacks and after packing every sand toy in the house left for the play area downstairs. I asked the girls to use the bathroom before we left and Antu was very sure that she did nt want to go! I even threatened her that I will not bring her back home if she said that she wanted to use the bathroom as soon as we reached the park. And what happened 10 minutes later? Madam says she has to use the bathroom NOW. This has happened before of course. I tell Ashu to play and that I ll go home and come back in 5 minutes. I walk home with Antu. When we cross the water fountain in front of our apartment, Antu says that she wants to play in the water. "Did nt you want to go to the bathroom NOW?", I ask. "No! I want to go to the water!" I give her a dirty look and drag her home. She sits in the bathroom for 10 minutes and declares that she does nt have to go after all! ARGH!

2. Motherhood has also taught me to shut up. When one does nt have a kind word to tell a mother, especially a new mom, then one has to really shut up. Especially things like "I chose not to take epidural" to a mom who is just being wheeled out after a C-Sec or "I nursed my child until so and so years" to a mom who is struggling with breast feeding are a strict no-no. Hold your tongue, woman! Just stick with "the baby looks just like you" and you will be fine!

3. I know all the Disney Princess's names. And I know who Ben10 is and what Bakugans are. I know how Tooth Fairy works. I know how to make a puppy from play-doh and hot to throw kiddie birthday parties. I know how to turn shoe boxes into storage boxes and I also have watched a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. I know all about potty and sleep training and the ups and downs of breast feeding. I learnt to appreciate Children's literature and can recognize Axel Scheffler's illustrations from a mile away! :)

4. Most importantly, it has taught me to walk out of my comfort zone and take risks. While I'm so afraid of deep frying that I don't ever make HD's favorite pooris or my favorite aamai vadai, I have no problem baking cake after cake for my kids even though many a disaster have occurred. Contrary to the popular belief, Im quite shy and suck at making new friends. I take a step if the other person takes a step but I wont initiate it. I'm too afraid that I might be stepping on their toes. But having a very reserved kid means that I'm her mouth piece. Whether its asking for a play date with Ashu's friend or targeting fellow Desi Moms and pouncing on them at the school entrance or volunteering in school or the numerous get-togethers that happen, I owe everything to motherhood. If not for the kids, I would have been very happy in my shell. But being a mother has taught me that the shell can pretty crowded for a family of four. I owe every friend I have right now to my kids. Including my very dear blog pals. :)

5. hmm.... What else? Oh yeah! I ve learnt that I can fake as a supremely patient and super mom when there are people around! When Antu refuses to leave the park and I tell her very nicely, "Lets go sweetie! We ll go home, eat dinner, read a book and go to bed. Come on now!" what I really mean is "kadankaari! Vandhu tholai! veetukku vaa, unakku irukku*!" Or whenever I write in the blog that I ve given up on Ashu's fussy eating habits and dont bother anymore, what I really mean is that meal times battles still exist but I am not going to write about it here anymore! ;)

* Come home, you brat! You will pay for this!

Real Muffins, Fake Cupcakes and Tiramisu.

Ashu's birthday celebrations seem to be extending for a long time. Since her school was closed for Spring break until the 1st of May, she had a small celebration in her class after the school reopened. The usual "going around the Sun 6 times", showing her baby pictures to her friends and teachers, eating cup cakes, etc... I baked rainbow cup cakes and they came out awesome thanks to the gel food colors Sis sent from the US. When I baked the rainbow cake last year, I did nt have gel food colors and even though the cake looked good, the colors were nt really vibrant. And I was quite apprehensive about making cupcakes because all that effort of mixing colors in four different batches for a simple muffin seemed tedious to me. But it turned out pretty easy actually. I had nt told Ashu that it was going to be rainbow muffins and when she got up in the morning and saw all the muffins, the expression on her face was priceless. Guess us moms are suckers for punishment just for that look on our kids faces! Whether its taking them to Disneyland during Spring break or baking rainbow muffins at midnight which are going to be half eaten and thrown in the trash by most of the kids!

We also had unexpected house guests the next week which Ashu thought was in her honor! We hardly have house guests and the kids were super thrilled. A very dear couple with their 2 daughters were on an Europe tour and stayed with us a night before going to Italy. Even though the friend claimed she was here to do laundry(!), we were excited to see them after ages! Ashu asked me yesterday if we can invite S and S for a playdate this week and I had to explain to her that they are in Italy now and will be going back to India and international play dates are nt the norm. Yet. :) The next day we had a small "cupcake" party at home with 2 girls who missed Ashu's birthday party. (Yes, you can say that again - Im a sucker for punishment!) Sis had sent a fake cupcake decorating kit for Ashu and the three girls went crazy making fake cupcakes while Antu and I were gobbling real banana muffins! Antu made sure to ask me "Is this real? Can I eat this?" though! Atta girl! The fake cream looked so real that whenever I got a bit of my cream in my hands while helping them, my first instinct was to lick it!!! Had to warn the girls a dozen times not to lick although Im sure a bit of it did find its way to their stomach! Well, a little bit of glue does nt harm anyone. Or does it?

The weekend was busy with back to back birthday parties for Ashu. What a busy social life these kids have! (And why does April/May have the most number of birthdays, anyway?!) And we had friends over for dinner on Sunday. And Ashu expected them to stay overnight! I made Tiramisu for the very first time and though it came out yummy, it was too much coffee for my taste especially since I dont drink coffee. Got to dilute the coffee more the next time I make it. Funny that when I was googling for Tiramisu recipe, I had to google "how to make coffee" because I did nt know the how many spoons of coffee powder to add to a cup of water to make the coffee! Yes, Im that girl who does nt even know how to make coffee that the Mothers-In-law love to complain about!! Come to think of it, I dont how to boil an egg either! I mean, I did nt! Have I told you how this one time I tried to boil an egg in a "microwave"?!!! God rest its soul! And I mean the microwave here! ;)

Atzmännig.

We had a wonderful time in Atzmannig yesterday. When our dear friend S left for India recently, I knew that I was going to miss a travel partner along with a best friend! Usually its S and her husband who pick out a place and we tag long with them! God knows how they do it but they are always finding just the perfect place to go as a family! So when S went to Atzmannig the last weekend she was in Swiss, she made sure to pass on the information to me and almost made me promise that I ll take Ashu there because she knew how much Ashu likes to climb! :)

Along with another family, we drove to Atzmannig yesterday and reached within an hour. The place is located in the most beautiful location ever. There is this leisure park on top of a hill one one side and a Rope Adventure Park on the other. The park's main attraction is a 700 m Toboggan run with 17 turns! Its really cool! Theres also something called a sliding tower with different kinds of slides where Antu had a blast! The kids went crazy on the trampoline, the play area, the coin operated cars, flying chairs, petting goats and donkeys, ...

After a picnic lunch, we went to the Rope Adventure Park which was the main reason we went there. Ashu and the other boy who are under 8 were geared up with the climbing gear, helmets and gloves and were told that they can do the two easy courses how many ever times they want! Hd and the other older kid were given a crash course for 15 minutes before they took the advanced course. Antu was napping in her stroller by then so I left her by a table near the outdoor restaurant and was happily cheering Ashu while Hd was somewhere up on the trees like a cliff hanger! It was such fun to say the least! Ashu went on the two courses again and again a dozen times! The park was closing at 6.00 and at 5.58 she was asking me, "Can I do a quick Route A and come back, Amma?" and hurried up to the tree and clamping herself to the safety rope, disappeared in the woods! Could nt believe this was the same girl who cried when she did it the first time because she was a scared of a slidy thing! It was so nice to see her so dedicated and walking on tight ropes and wobbly bridges and webs and hanging onto ropes. A mother's dream come true, I tell you.
A must-see place for the entire family near Zurich if you live or visit here. The Toboggan ride is from Age 3 onwards and the Rope Park is from Age 4 onwards. But the Leisure park has enough for under 3 too. Perfect place to do picnics and there is a restaurant too. Huge parking lot which is free. Take loads of coins for the rides though. For more information click here.

Ashu's Birthday Party & the Big Surprise.

Last week was a roller-coaster ride. Just before we left for Disneyland, my sister called up to tell me that my Bil is coming to Zurich on 26th as a birthday surprise for Ashu and asked me to keep it a secret. I, of course, immediately sent her the birthday party shopping list before going "WHAT?" Since no one in our family even goes to the bathroom without surprising someone(!), my antenna went up and I asked sis if actually she was coming! She denied of course and kept on denying the whole week and I believed her only after seeing my Bil in the train station standing alone! (Even then, I thought Sis might ve taken a taxi and gone home! One never knows when it comes to my family!) On Tuesday evening, I took the kids to the station and they thought we were going to pick up their father! When they saw Perippa, Antu royally ignored him and Ashu went absolutely speechless and we could see her heart racing! She just held his hand and stood there for a long time before hugging him. And she let him go only after a whole week when he was leaving for the airport back to the US! Plan 2 was to surprise my parents who had no idea Bil was here. The kids and I were skyping with them when cooly Bil came and sat with us on the sofa and it was incredible to see my parents face. My sis was on the phone with them at the same time and they thought she was here too! hee hee! Plan 3 was executed when Hd came home from office in the evening. Ashu planned it and asked Bil to stand behind the door. Hd entered and seeing me armed with a camera, he gave a look and then turned to see Bil and was shell-shocked! muahahaha! Missions accomplished!

Sis had sent a bunch of decorate your own fabric backpacks, fabric pens, wild animals stickers, goody bags and even paper plates, cups, napkins, etc... along with a dozen gifts for the kids! Hd was asking me why I was nt going crazy shopping for the birthday party earlier and he had his answer when Bil arrived! He scolded sis and me for using Bil like a courier service! hmph! What does he know? I wish Reva sent one of her fabulous cake through him as well! Then I would nt have had to lift a finger for the party! ;) The party was that sunday at the Wildpark nearby. Ashu and I decorated the backpacks and wrote each kids name on it and stuck some of the animal stickers. I packed the bag with a juice bottle, an apple, a chocolate cookie and a map of the park. (Inspired by my friend, S. She stitched the backpacks herself for all the kids when she threw a party at the zoo last year! Im not that creative but I ve a sister and Bil who are very useful! :) Once all the kids(15) arrived, we set out for a walk to see the animals. It was a drop off party but a couple of parents stayed back to help me out. Bil was the official photographer! The kids loved to carry their personalized backpacks and consult their own maps! We took a snack break half way through. Once we came back to the restaurant, we cut the cake and ate lunch. I had taken cake, sandwiches, cut veggies, dips, zucchini bread, chips, etc,,, and ordered pizza and fries from the restaurant. Later the kids went wild in the play area and the carousel. Everyone was satisfied after going on the carousel four times straight!

All in all, a very good birthday party. I baked a chocolate cake and glazed it and bought some sugar animals, flowers and sprinkles and decorated it! The cake was a bit dry and but looked good and thats all that matters! Added a goody bag with stickers and sweets to the backpack when the kids were leaving. All the kids cooperated so well and were in excellent behaviour much to my pleasant surprise! The three hour duration was just perfect. We saw bears, wild cats, wolves, mountain goats and loads of deers. Antu was stuck to my Bil the entire time and I did nt even hear a peep from her. Hd was mad at me for doing "so much" for a 6 year old party and was wondering how much he has to suffer at my hands when the girls are getting married! I wont let you down, dear! All my friends were in awe that Bil came all the way to be here for Ashus party and she was so proud! She had been nagging my sis and Bil to come to her party for the past few months and she was thrilled that her wish was fulfilled. Even though she missed her Perimma, she got over it as soon as she saw the Rapunzel loot that sis had sent for her! And the scooter. Bil came with a huge suitcase full of stuff for us and went back with an empty suitcase! I am so ashamed! What does one send from here? The only thing my sis would ve loved refused to climb into the suitcase!

Bil went back this Tuesday much to Ashus disappointment. She kept telling him to go one day later, poor thing! But she was glad that her school reopened after the spring break on Monday and she could take him to her class and introduce him to her teachers and show him around the class. It was so cute this time to see Ashu with her Perippa. She was so much "in love" with him! One day we went out for a walk and she plucked a flower and started picking the petals one by one chanting, "perippa loves me, perippa loves me not,....!" And she was thrilled that it ended with "perippa loves me!" When Bil asked what if it had nt, she said, "Its just a game, Perippa! I know that you love me!" She was literally glued to him, watched the IPL matches with him, made cards for him, played games with him, wanted him to read her bed time stories,... It was so heart breakingly adorable to see them together. Antu for her part charmed him and was attached to him too but I guess she can recognize "true love" when she sees it so did nt fight for his attention too much. Phew. Thanks V for doing this trip. The girls are so lucky to be loved like this. And yes, yes. I did nt forget you, Sis! You are the greatest Sister ever. Happy? :)

27.04.2011

Dearest Ashu,

You turn six today! Like your Perimma remarked the other day, you are not a kid anymore. But a young girl! At least that's what the the clothing store is labeling you. You look quite grown up all of a sudden too. You talk like one most definitely. You are so profound at times that I go completely speechless. One day I spilled some milk on the kitchen counter and was cleaning it. You happened to be there and I told you, "See Ashu? It was an accident. I spilled some milk and I'm mopping it. Everyone makes mistakes and its OK!" Because you think you are Miss.Perfect and whenever you make some mistakes, you go out of your way to defend yourself and we both always get into an argument over that! For which you replied, "You have your mistakes, Amma. I have mine" and walked away. Whats the word? Yes, speechless. You are also brutally honest. Like the other day when you asked me to draw a heart for you and I did. When I asked you how the heart looked you said, "Its not perfect. But its better than mine." Sigh.

As always, we traveled a lot this year too and my heart swells with pride to see what a good traveler you are. Whether it was our week long Norway trip where I did nt include anything kid oriented just because it was our anniversary trip or the Yosemite road trip from San Jose or the camping trip or the annual trips to the US and India, the special Kerala trip this year or the local trips within Swiss or the recent Disneyland trip, I cant remember you giving me trouble for anything anywhere. I so wish you teach a thing or two to your sister though! You also spent loads of time with your Grand Parents, Perimma & Perippa and various other relatives and friends and like I repeat every year, don't forget how lucky you are that they are part of your life. Especially your Perippa who came all the way from the US to surprise you on your birthday this year armed with gifts. What a treat!

You became a Kinder Garten Girl this year and to see you so proud of your school, class, teachers and friends is heart achingly beautiful. You think your teachers know everything and even your Super-Mom comes only second to them. It makes me so happy that you are in such a healthy and cheerful environment when you are away from home. G has been with you for the third year in a row and am crossing my fingers for the next. You had a fantastic time skiing this season with your best buddy S. You danced on stage with 5 other little girls. Twice. Though the swimming classes keep getting interrupted, you love water. Another thing you love is climbing. Last year the same time, I never thought that you would do these things. I cant believe that the rather reserved five year old Ashu disappeared although I see her now and then. But that's because you are selective. Which is really brilliant, if you ask me. I wish I were like that. And oh, you eat Broccoli. Willingly.

Although you seem to be a serious girl, you can be downright silly when you want to be. Right to the point of annoying. God knows why you save those phases only for me though! While you talk like a grown up about certain things, I'm glad you have your childish innocence intact too. Like how you wanted the Ben 10 t-shirt and when I gently asked you when you are planning to wear it, you replied, "I will wear to school, Amma! I don't care if people think only boys wear Ben 10 clothes." And when we were reading some happily ever after story, you remarked, "You know, Amma? Even a man and a man can marry. Woman and woman too!" I don't know where that came from but am glad it did. You are still obsessed with being a twin and I'm dreading the day you ll start reading the St.Clare's series because that's when my obsession began. With the O'Sullivan twins. I apologize in advance, OK? It was nt in my hands. Because if I could have had two of you, I most certainly would have.

Antu and you are inseparable these days. It might sound outright silly to you but I drop whatever it is I'm doing and start listening to your conversations on the sly because they are unbearably cute! The way you look out for your sister is amazing. Whether its holding the elevator doors for her or helping her climb a chair or help her dress up, you are there for her 100%. I used to think that my sister was born an older sis. She was so mature and responsible even at a very young age. God knows why I doubted you when I was expecting Antu. You have turned out exactly like that. The other day in the park, you and I were sitting on the steps and eating a snack while Antu and a little older boy were running around in circles. Antu was following him like a puppy and both our gazes were following them. Then the boy turned a corner out of our vision and Antu followed him. Even before I said something or got up, you were up and running behind Antu. It took you only a split second to do that and I was totally amazed. How did you know to do that? Was it instinctive? I have never been more proud of you than that moment. May you and Antu always look out for each other. That's my only prayer. Happy 6th Birthday, Darling!

Love,

Amma.

Disneyland.

We went to the Disneyland in Paris and came back home yesterday exhausted and bankrupt. What a money pit! The kids of course had fun but the way Antu was enjoying in the hotel lobby and thinking that that was Disneyland, we could have easily fooled Ashu too and could have had a cheaper vacation!!! Hd and I had been to Disneyland some 9 years back and I remember how excited I was and how much I enjoyed the make-believe world! And when we planned to go during the spring break as a birthday gift for Ashu, she was ecstatic. A few of her friends have been there and she had a general idea about the place. For the past one month, we talked about nothing but Disneyland. At last the D day arrived last Wednesday and after a hearty breakfast and a packed lunch, we piled the kids in the car and took off. Eight hours and a million "Are we in Disneyland yet?" later, we arrived at the Dream Castle Hotel. The hotel lobby was like a theme park in itself with loads of coin operated rides and games and Antu screamed "Yay! Disneyland!" and dived head first into the ball pit! Like I said, we should have taken a hint and had our vacation just there!

The next morning all excited we drove off to the theme park. Ashu spotted the castle and was in high spirits. We parked our car in the huge parking lot and walked and walked and walked some more to the entrance only to find the entire world and its uncle standing in line to get in! Spring break and Disneyland! What was I even thinking?! We entered and took the sights in and all excitedly I was showing Ashu everything. Straight to Fantasyland of course and we began our marathon "standing-in-line" with the Snow White and the Seven Dwarves ride. To say that Ashu was terrified would be an understatement! Such a jujube ride but she got so scared because it was dark and when the evil queen turned around, she was a witch! I think its time to toughen up the kid with some real Kollywood masala films! When we went and stood in line for the Peter Pan ride, the entire time we were waiting(which would be 45 minutes!) she kept saying "I dont want to go!" But of course she loved the ride and wanted to go again once we were done! I told her that theres no going AGAIN in Disneyland and that happens only in the hotel lobby! Antu of course was a total daredevil throughout. She wanted to go on the Carousel and even that had a 70 minute waiting time! Promised her that I ll take her on the carousel in the park near our house and ran away! We had some lousy lunch and stood in more lines and went on more rides and just before 4 pm, came back to the Main Street and plonked our behinds in the hard ground so as to save seats to watch the Disney Parade which begins at 5 pm. While the dad and daughter duo walked off to explore more, a sleeping Antu in her stroller and me with a heavy back saved seats for them while inhaling secondhand smoke! (Welcome to France!) I am sure this was Thirupathi Venkatachapalathy's plan of secret revenge on me when I got so annoyed standing in lines for hours in Thirupathi this one time long, long ago and swore I would never go there again! (Sorry Balaji!) Antu woke up in time for the parade and the sheer joy in the kids faces when they saw the parade was almost worth it. I said almost! Then we went on the most awesome ride ever - The Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast. That was the only ride we went on again the next day too! After a dinner of fries and hot chocolate(Naanga Vegetarians kettelaa?) we left the place finally at 10 pm after twelve straight hours. We all slept even before our heads hit the bed.

The next day was almost rinse and repeat except that we spent half a day in the nearby Walt Disney Studios which was relatively less crowded and was loads of fun. Hd had also reserved a table for us in one of the restaurants where the Disney characters came to visit. So Ashu was in heaven and armed with an autograph book and a pen, hounded Mickey, Minnie, Woody, Pluto, Goofy, etc... for their signatures. We also met Sully and Buzz and Ashu had this fantastic idea that she can sign all their names by herself, why wait in line! Excellent point, I thought! We bought a fastpass for the Buzz Lightyear ride and went on it again taking turns since Antu was napping. There was a mile long line even to get the fastpass! We also managed to lose Antu for 10 seconds which felt like an eternity and madam was cooly walking off with another family! May be she was trying to tell me something! And the polar opposite Ashu who thought she got lost even though I was watching her and burst into tears! Sigh! What an odd pair of sisters! We "showed" the kids the Disney Store and quickly vamoosed out of it! Pagal kollai! The kids were also good as gold and did nt open their mouths. I did want to buy a costume for Ashu after seeing every other kid walking in a Princess costume or a Peter Pan costume but Ashu was very particular about what she wanted and would nt settle for anything less and lucky for me and unlucky for her, the stores there did nt stock it! Phew. Because if they did, we would have to sell our car to pay for the costume and walk back home!

The third day we drove to the city and showed the popular sights to Ashu from the car. We only stopped near the Eiffel tower to take a few pictures and then proceeded to Saravana Bhavan for lunch. Parking was a nightmare there and the customer service even more nightmarish! Hd literally had to restrain me from punching that sorry excuse of a waiter! At last we left around 5 pm and around 10 pm, decided to break the journey and stayed in a hotel on the highway and came home only the next day. We also experienced a hail storm which came out of nowhere and surprised us. Wonder whats with us and hail storms. Happened once before too. Anyway, we had a good break and the kids had super fun. Parent trap or not, we ll always have Disneyland! :)

Bye- Byes and BFFs.

S and I came to Zurich pretty much the same time a little more than 4 years back. I would nt say we clicked immediately. Im sure the prim and proper S said Hi to me so as not to be rude! :) Her daughter, another S, and Ashu are of the same age. Their birthdays are a week apart. Our respective husbands were working for the same company then. This was all it needed to become friends in a strange country. Our friendship grew with each meeting and I think it was sealed when I announced I was pregnant with Antu and she said, "me too!" She went on to have a beautiful baby boy 2 months after Antu was born. I was in heaven. We compared notes on breast feeding, sleep training, teething, ... and we were truly together in sickness and health! :)

Its so difficult to develop friendships once ones out of school and college. There seems to be a little formality especially when you see the other person as the husband's colleague's wife. I think I crossed that stage when more than a year back when I was really sick and Hd was traveling and I picked up the phone and the only person I could call was S. I decided she is my BFF whether she likes it or not! Also, shes immensely creative and talented and has magic in her hands. It would be easy to have her as a friend and admire her instead of being distant and jealous! ;)

We went on many trips together as a family and our daughters bonded. Too bad that Antu and Y could nt follow their sisters' footsteps. (Though Antu did bully the boy whenever she got a chance!) Their decision to go back to India happened very suddenly and before I could get over the shock, they were packed and ready to go. Two weeks is too less to reminisce about the four years together. Eight of us ladies went to dinner on Friday to bid adieu to S and we ended up laughing so much that my jaw still hurts. I could nt have cried even if I wanted to. Then we met them again on Sunday for lunch. Ashu wrote and illustrated a book for her BFF instead of an usual card. It was uber sweet.

Bye bye, dear Friend. You will be sorely missed. Like Ashu said, "Its so unfair!" When I told another friend that S was leaving, her immediate reaction was, "Oh God! What are you going to do?" Sigh! What AM I going to do without you, S? :(

CSA – A Father’s perspective.

(A guest post written by the husband on Child Sexual Abuse Awareness.)

It is not too long back that I realized that Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) is so rampant in our society. I was horrified to hear about stories of young girls being abused by uncles and good friends from the neighbourhood. At first I couldn’t even comprehend the fact that a 4 or 5 year old could be sexually abused! Yes I have been naïve and I am ashamed about my lack of awareness. It is painful to note that CSA is rampant in the current world. A few weeks back there was a news of a mother making pornographic video with her 2 year old. This news really brought tears to my eyes and my heart sank.

I grew up as an only child and was brought up in a bubble by my parents. I have been so lucky that I was not even aware about such a serious abuse being faced by many of my friends during my school days. Ofcourse I was aware of the senseless brushes, vulgar looks of men and how they train their eyes on young school going girls when they travel by public buses. It never used to disturb me then when I was a boy. I just used to think yes these guys are really rogues but nothing beyond. Now I see and understand the long lasting scars that such unpardonable acts leave on people’s lives.

As a father I am starting to feel so paranoid and insecure about the world into which I have got my kids into. Their innocence and the world surrounding them makes me feel so guilty and helpless at times. How am I going to protect my kids as a parent and how to ensure that my child comes and tells me about a bad touch or a bad intentional approach by a friend or stranger? These days even when I meet with my friends in a kid’s birthday party, I get so conscious before I hug or kiss a child for his or her birthday. Even with my own kids, I sometimes get conscious and ask a question if I am really overdoing it when I hug or kiss them. Such thoughts makes me wonder..God what kind of a world I am in and why is my mind starting to think in lines that I never imagined a few years back. And what are we going to do to make this world a better place for our kids.

I think it is important to educate our children from the age of 4 onwards about good touch and bad touch. We need to constantly let our children knowhow it is important to be open to parents when a friend or a family member behaves in a weirdly affectionate way with them. It is very tricky to educate kids about such an issue at such an age. I pains me to realize how we as parents need to sensitize our kids about such evil issues at such a tender age and still how helpless we are in this world as we cannot always be around and watchful with our kids at school and public places, etc., I am not even sure if such education at tender age is going to have the desired impact on our children or it is just going to clutter or complicate a beautiful mind. At the same time I also realize that we have no other option in this world. There is no point in being in denial. We need to reinforce the importance of this matter in our children and hope that they come and tell us at the first instance when they see or face such an act.

The most worrying point is that I am still very doubtful if our kids will be comfortable to come and report such incidents to mom or dad. CSA is a real evil and unpardonable offense that occurs widely across the world. But it has been such a taboo issue that people like me are starting to realize about the wide spread prevalence of this menace only now. I would like to laud the bloggers for their efforts to put up this CSA awareness blog. Its time we spoke about it.

What a Match!

Boo and kids Venue: P's house.

Who was present? P, me and 3 more moms and kids. (Their respective husbands were all traveling.)

Menu: Dal, paneer, pajma, rice, rotis, puris, tiramisu, cake, muffins, tea,...

HD's Venue: D's house.

Who was present? The host and 3 more families.

Menu: Rice, stew, dal, salad, apple crumble,...

HD's second innings Venue: A pub.

Who was present - A friend and 100 more cricket fans!

Menu: Beer!

This information is so that everyone knows what we were doing and where we were when History was made! Though Im sad that Hd and I were nt together, it was better this way. Why, you ask? Because we both watched Ind Vs Eng in D's house and it was a tie. Hd watched Ind Vs SA there and we lost. Hd was in Amsterdam and I was home for the Ind Vs Aus and we won. Hd was in Geneva and I was home for the crucial Ind Vs Pak match and we won! So of course we had to get separated for the greater good! Im nothing if not logical! ;) So when Tendulkar got out and Hd called and said he was still in D's house, I yelled at him like I ve never yelled before and asked him to hit the pub asap as per our original plan! Im sure the man caught the train before I could change my mind! So now you know why we won! :) Good job, Team India! I am glad we lived to see this day and not carry the picture of Kapil Dev and his 1983 trophy to our graves!

So where were you?

Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month - April 2011.

All through April, there is going to be a lot of discussion, posts, expert opinions, helpful information, point to ponder, statistics, dos and donts about Child Sexual Abuse Awareness across many blogs. If its one blog you should nt miss reading, it is this - http://csaawarenessmonth.wordpress.com/

The blogathon begins on April 1st.

Please support the initiative. Here's how.


If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that entries are welcome.

a. mailed to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com OR
b. posted as FB notes and linked to Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month Page OR
c. posted on your own blog with the logo and linked to the main blog OR
d. linked or posted on Twitter tagged twitter.com/CSAAwareness OR
e. sent via some/all of the above methods

If you are wondering what to write about, the list of topics is available here. Or you can choose your own topic related to CSA. Anonymous contributions are accepted and requests for anonymity will of course be honored. Bloggers can publish guest posts too.

Please remember to send in a mail with all necessary links or just your input to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com

Hats off to Kiran and Monika who have been working hard round the clock to put everything together.

Gotta love this girl!

Ashu: Amma! Come and play a game with me.
Me: Not now, Ashu. Im making dinner.

(2 mins later)

Ashu: Amma come!
Me: Im not done yet. Why dont you play something with Antu? I ll join you when Im done.

(5 mins later)

Ashu: Amma! What game do you want to play?
Me: Anything. You choose.
Ashu: Ok. Come.
Me: ASHU! I ll come when Im done, OK? Dont keep calling me.
Ashu: But Amma...
Me: Shush! I dont want to hear one more word.

(Silence)

(I spot her playing by herself with some sight words flash cards.)

(A good 15 mins later)

Ashu: Amma look at this!

And this is what she had done with the flash cards!



I laughed and joined her for a game. I even let her win! :)

Milestones.

Another birthday came and went. Ashu made a lovely card for me. She asked me a couple of days earlier, "Are you going to be 25, Amma?" "Oh I wish, Ashu! I wish! But I'm going to be 33", I told her. "But why would you wish to be younger, Amma? I don't want to be younger. I cant wait to be 6. I feel like I'm already six." Ah! To be young and foolish again! Hd took us to a nice restaurant nearby for a Sunday brunch after surprising me with a pineapple cake! Then we dropped the kids at a good friends place and went for a movie. The Adjustment Bureau. Very interesting story but the end was a bit disappointing! Matt Damon and Emily Blunt were really good. One particular hospital scene was really powerful.

On other news, I completely forgot to mark a milestone. Antu is successfully potty trained by day. It has been almost a month now and I cant believe we got to this point. I was most skeptical because she was nt showing any signs. She was going to playschool. She has to spend so much time in the car so I was wondering where to begin and how to manage. I just let her diaper free one Friday and it was a disaster! But Day 2 was slightly better and Day 3, she could tell me that she wanted to use the bathroom and there were no accidents. I still sent her in diaper to the play school that week but kept her diaper free at home. By that weekend, she was 100% consistent. So I sent her to playschool without diapers and told the caregivers to remind her to use the bathroom. And Voila! She did it! All on her own! Add to that, shes also showing signs that shes ready to be night trained because her diapers are always dry! I cant believe Ashu and Antu are such opposites! Even though Ashu was potty trained earlier than Antu, she took forever to be night trained. Anyway, so thats that! Im done with diapers! Forever! End of an era! :) Funny that 2 weeks back, the entire household used to go on red alert as soon as Antu said "SOO-SOO" and run to take her to the bathroom. Then it became, "wait a sec!" and then take her to the bathroom. Soon it was, "So? Go!" and poor thing started to pull the step stool closer, put the potty seat on top of the toilet, climb up, use the bathroom, etc... all on her own! Now she has even stopped telling us! I got up today morning to see her sitting on the pot and coolly reading a bath book!! And yesterday Ashu told her, "Let me use it first. You wait in line!" and she patiently did! How the times have changed!

Ashu has also successfully completed Level 1 of Skiing and is confidently skiing the beginner slopes(Level 2) using the ski lift and all! Best decision ever to put her and S, a friends daughter in a private class and taking them to the slopes every weekend regularly since January. The girls enjoyed each others company, had fun skiing and enjoyed the whole experience. And we feel we had a productive winter too! She has also taken to her brand new Skateboard with a vengeance. It has been sleeping in the cupboard for a year. A gift from my sister for her 5th birthday on her request. Shes growing up too fast for me and talking the talk and walking the walk! "You know what a ramp is Amma? You don't? Its an inclined plane!!", she told me yesterday! *gulp* I know I have always been telling her, "Use your words, Ashu! Use your words!" for everything! But the other day she did and how! Antu kept on kicking her under the table when they were eating dinner. Ashu told her to stop repeatedly but Antu would nt listen. So she says, "Whats the point, Antu? Why are you kicking me? Whats the point?" I swear I choked on my tea!