My Daddy Strangest!

There is this riddle about two fathers and two sons and there are three seats in a train and all of them get a seat. How? Antu asked me this once. I gave her the simple answer that there was a grandfather, a father and a son. But I guess its deeper than that simple answer. My father is visiting us. My mom visited us in May and exhausted her visa and finally dad agreed to come after lot of nagging and whining and complaining. (all by Antu!) Anyway, Mom also gallivanted to Canada to visit my cousin (her peraadha pullai*, in her own words!) and is kooch-icooing with her grand niece much to Antus jealousy. (fine! I am jealous too! But only a little.)

Anyway, back to my fathers trip. He has been here for a few weeks. Antu is over the moon and spends every waking minute with him. Ashu smiles and laughs a lot more than usual and is so patient and so nice and kind to him that I am both proud and sad at the same time. Things were all fine for the first two weeks when I kept my mouth shut and ignored everything and did nt say a word against Ashu, the only person my dad would save even if its her against the rest of his entire family! The one day I lost my patience, all hell broke loose. I was the mother, no longer the daughter. He was the grandfather, no longer the father. Ashu was nt sure what she was at the moment. Hd regretted the day he said yes to this dysfunctional family and went to sleep! And Antu picked up a book and shut herself in her room. 

Long story short, it was very, very awkward. A 68 year old man yelling at his 39 year old daughter because she yelled at her 12 year old daughter. He just does nt get the irony. I wanted to be his little girl and cry on his shoulders but I was afraid I would strangle him instead. God knows what he was thinking because the man does nt believe in talking. Shoving everything under the carpet is his speciality. And here you think you are doing so much better than your parents only to find out that theres no pleasing when it comes to your children and they hate you no matter what! Yes, yes, I get that irony too. Do you get the riddle now?

* the son she did nt give birth to

Bhaktha Antu.

Antu has been waiting for her teeth to fall and the tooth fairy to visit for a long time. Last month when her first tooth fell, we all did the needful by clicking photos, sending the said photos to grand parents, uncles and aunts, getting very excited, remembering to sneak the tooth away from under her pillow and to put some money there. And Antu was the happiest child in the universe when she found the money and promptly we all oohed and aaahed at the Tooth fairy's efficiency and did the needful by clicking photos, sending the said photos to grand parents, uncles and aunts, getting very excited, etc.. etc.. Two weeks later when the second tooth fell, she was nt every pleased that we were nt as excited as we were for the first tooth! And she also remembered the fact that Ashu had got a gift from Tooth Fairy and not money when her second tooth fell and told us that she was expecting the same! I felt bad for the poor kid and hid a gift this time. (A left handed pencil that the doting father had picked up from an airport somewhere a long time ago and had forgotten to give it to her came in handy!) Little Missy was very thrilled the next day and flaunted the pencil to everybody she met and we all did the needful! 

Antu loves gifts and this was proven when she she kept wiggling her tooth and made it fall this week. The third tooth. I don't even remembering getting anything for Ashu after the first two teeth and not like she cared anyway. And three teeth in three weeks was too much for me! So I thought I will put an end to this nonsense but Ashu and Hd kept telling that they will keep a 1 franc or 2 franc coin and make Antu happy so I said fine and left it at that. But Little Miss Greedy kept telling the whole day how Tooth Fairy gives cash only for the first tooth and how she gives gifts for the rest! That got my goat and I told her that thats not the case. 

"But I wished for a gift, Amma. Tooth Fairy also gets gifts like Santa. She will know what I wish for and give me that gift."

"Antu, listen to me! Theres no Tooth fairy ok?"

*Antu starts crying immediately*

(Meanwhile Ashu was giving me a look as if I was drowning a puppy.)

I got so mad but I have had enough of all this tooth fairy business and calmly started telling Antu that she's old enough to understand that its the parents who give the gifts and there is no tooth fairy. And that she's being greedy.

She was howling now as if I told her that I stole her as a baby for her magic hair!

Ashu could nt believe her ears and that her mother could stoop so low and was trying to pacify Antu. One would think I would have shut up right about now. But once I start, theres no stopping me! I kept telling Antu that theres no tooth fairy thinking that its better this heart breaking information came from me instead of her friends.

"You are lying, Amma. Tooth fairy is real and she is the one who gives gifts. I do not believe you", she screamed while still crying her heart out.

I got a bit scared now having grown up with the Prahalad story and Antus conviction was as strong as his! I imagined The Tooth Fairy flying into our house through the window and breaking all my teeth and wearing it as a "Maalai" and strangely could empathize with Hiranyakasipu like I could never before! 

"Listen Antu! I am just telling you that you are being a little greedy by wiggling your teeth and wishing for gifts. And I don't like that. You can believe in the Tooth Fairy if you want but you are not getting any gifts anymore, ok? So don't be disappointed when you wake up tomorrow and find nothing!"

"I believe in tooth fairy, Amma! AND SHE IS REAL, OK? And you know what you are doing? You are just spoiling my fun, Amma. That's what you are doing. You just want to spoil my fun!"

That stung.

Hd was duly informed about my failure as a parent and he took over and Antu got up the next morning very happy to find a 5 Franc coin under her pillow!

The fourth teeth is wiggling now and she did nt even mention it to me once. When I enquired about it today, she kept on talking about different things and when I persisted, she said "I believe in Tooth Fairy, Amma. I want Tooth Fairy to know that I believe in her, ok?"

This time, I shut up.

ps.
Chalk and Cheese.

"People who create their own drama deserve their own Karma".

What goes around, comes around! Nothing makes you believe in Karma like when one becomes a parent! Today around 2 pm, Ashu gets a call from her friend, Az asking if she wants to go to the pool with her. Ashu looks at me and I nod my head and she excitedly says yes to her friend, packs her bag and leaves the house. To the pool which is 5 mins walk from our house. At least thats where I assumed they were going and thats what Ashu told me as well. Cut to 5.30 pm - no sign of Ashu. At 6 pm, I am worried. Hd who was watching Nadal making history was worried enough to take his eyes off the TV and look at me. He then walked to the pool to see if she was there or in the nearby park but the pool was closed already and no one in the park. Then I started calling Az's home number, her parents mobile number but no answer. So I walk to Az's house which is 2 mins walk from our house. No ones home. I call three more of Ashus friends who are all in the neighborhood asking if they know where Az and Ashu went but no one knows. At 7.30 pm, my sister calls and asks if Ashu is home because I told her at 5.30 that she's not home yet. Now she's worried too! I knew Ashu would be fine and she would come home soon and safe but the not knowing where she was, was driving me crazy. And the fact that the girl did not think to call from her friends moms phone and tell me where she is and when she will be coming back. Not to mention the guilt trips I was taking. "I am an irresponsible parent! I should have checked with Az's mother. I should have told Ashu to call me if theres any change. " sigh. Anyway, Ashu got back at 8 pm. She had gone to another pool which is a 10 minutes drive away.  "I did nt know you will be worried, Amma. I was having so much fun that I did nt know it got so late. I did nt have my watch." Simple. And she got so upset that we were all worried for her. Sigh. 

The entire 2 hours when I was worried and looking out of the window every 5 minutes, there was only one thing I was thinking about. My Thatha. My Paternal Grandfather. I was 20 years old and in college. Usually I would be home around 5 pm. But on the day I would come late, I would find him standing outside the house, near the gate looking into the direction I would come from. If it was after 6.30 pm, then I can bet on my life that he would be standing there waiting for me. Sandhikaalam (dusk) was the curfew time according to him and in the morning when I left home, he would say "sandhikaalathukulla vandhudu" (Come back before dusk) and that was his way of saying good bye. Even when my parents did nt care, I knew Thatha would be waiting for me. And the most interesting part is that when I arrived late, he would see me and smile and walk back inside without asking me even a single question. I do not think I made him wait every other day but I do remember that in a span of 18 months, at least once a week I would momentarily forget about him because I was busy talking to the boys (what else!!) and would get home late and there I would see him in his white veshti and a mel thundu, waiting near the gate. And I don't remember he ever asking me why I was late. Not even once. And the next day, he would see me off with his usual send off. 

In those 2 hours, I was thinking about Thatha and his unconditional love and support and how patient he was with me and wowed to be the same way with Ashu. You give your child all the freedom they need and hope they are responsible with it. Thats all one can expect. And after all the careful planning on what to tell her and how to handle myself, I failed miserably! Guess one has to be a grandparent to achieve that kind of Zenness and a mere parent just won't do. In other words, Thatha did not slap me in my face because he knew Karma would! 

How clean is your house...

...when you leave in the morning to drop the kids in school? Im so curious to know. No prizes for guessing that my house looks like a pig sty (no exaggeration!) when I leave in the morning. Whoever said that theres a time and place for everything never had to do the school run, I guess! Toys everywhere! The kids room is a mess! The dining table looks like there was an explosion of cereal, bread and milk! There are clothes all over the bed! The kitchen looks as if an elephant had run rampant! (Not that my kitchen is big enough to fit an elephant!) And it drives me crazy! I hate coming back to a messy house but who has time to clean up in the morning when one is racing against the clock? The other day a friend invited me to her place impromptu after dropping the kids in school and I was amazed to see that her house was relatively clean! She does have older kids but still.... it hurt my ego! Theres no way in hell I can invite people just like that to my house. I would die!

Ashu wants to find her library book and a dozen books are in the floor. Antu drops the bowl and theres cereal everywhere. A wet towel here, a dirty jeans there, here a mess, there a mess, everywhere a mess, mess.... ARGH! Old Mc Donald is clearly not happy! Im wondering if some people employ house elves who clean up for them. This one day I had invited a mom and her child for a lunch playdate at my place after picking up Antu and the other child. And suddenly a coffee morning straight after Ashus school drop off came up too! So I had to get up, get the kids ready, make lunch, then take Ashu to school, go to the coffee thing at a friends place, then go to pick up Antu and come home with the other mom and the kid. Thankfully Hd was in town and he said he ll drop Antu and go to office. I begged him to clean up the house and leave it in a decent shape before he left the house. It was like a bomb ticking inside my head until I came home. And the man had kept his word, phew. May be its not a house elf I need after all, huh?! ;)