My Daddy Strangest!

There is this riddle about two fathers and two sons and there are three seats in a train and all of them get a seat. How? Antu asked me this once. I gave her the simple answer that there was a grandfather, a father and a son. But I guess its deeper than that simple answer. My father is visiting us. My mom visited us in May and exhausted her visa and finally dad agreed to come after lot of nagging and whining and complaining. (all by Antu!) Anyway, Mom also gallivanted to Canada to visit my cousin (her peraadha pullai*, in her own words!) and is kooch-icooing with her grand niece much to Antus jealousy. (fine! I am jealous too! But only a little.)

Anyway, back to my fathers trip. He has been here for a few weeks. Antu is over the moon and spends every waking minute with him. Ashu smiles and laughs a lot more than usual and is so patient and so nice and kind to him that I am both proud and sad at the same time. Things were all fine for the first two weeks when I kept my mouth shut and ignored everything and did nt say a word against Ashu, the only person my dad would save even if its her against the rest of his entire family! The one day I lost my patience, all hell broke loose. I was the mother, no longer the daughter. He was the grandfather, no longer the father. Ashu was nt sure what she was at the moment. Hd regretted the day he said yes to this dysfunctional family and went to sleep! And Antu picked up a book and shut herself in her room. 

Long story short, it was very, very awkward. A 68 year old man yelling at his 39 year old daughter because she yelled at her 12 year old daughter. He just does nt get the irony. I wanted to be his little girl and cry on his shoulders but I was afraid I would strangle him instead. God knows what he was thinking because the man does nt believe in talking. Shoving everything under the carpet is his speciality. And here you think you are doing so much better than your parents only to find out that theres no pleasing when it comes to your children and they hate you no matter what! Yes, yes, I get that irony too. Do you get the riddle now?

* the son she did nt give birth to

Why can't a woman be more like a man?

At times, I do wonder about the drama that our lives seem to be. It sure makes life interesting but a little complicated too. Take this for instance. How do I want my husband to behave when
a) my parents visit
b) my in laws visit
c) fil visits without the mil

c is our current scenario and even Hd who is a pro by now seems to be struggling even though it has nt been 24 hours since the Fil arrived. Sigh! I don't want to be in the husbands shoes, that Im sure of. Anyway, where was I? Yes, the husbands behaviour. When my parents visit, he should help as much as possible. No boundaries. Should never argue with me. Should take my side always. Simple. When in laws visit, he should help but not too much. We don't want the Mil to think that we are overworking her precious son, do we? But at the same time, he should nt watch TV while Im cooking. We want to show the Mil that we ve achieved what she could nt with her husband. So doing the laundry, yes yes yes. Cutting veggies - no no no. Surfing the net pretending to work while Im cooking - yes yes yes. Watching Tv - no no no. Asking if we can do a takeaway for dinner - yes yes yes. Volunteering to make upma - no no no. And on and on... you get the picture? When my mom comes, she completely takes over the kitchen so not much strategies needed there. We can make rules as we go. And a stern look at the husband does wonders to straighten any situation as you might know.

But with the in laws, the situation is a little more tricky. You have to make them believe that your husband does what you say WITHOUT you saying it and that he is ALSO happy doing it. Hah! And all this for what? God forbid if you think that she thinks that your husband is tied to your Saree end. That that is the truth is not the point, ok? She does nt need proof - that's the point. And now that Fil has arrived without the potential candidate, all bets are off. Unlike my mil whose eyes rarely miss anything, Fil is oblivious to who cooked his lunch and does nt care if the yogurt is store bought or home made. So today morning when I asked the working-from-home-Hd to change Antus diaper, he was a bit shocked. Are you sure, he asked! (which means "what about the Mother Teresa award you think you are going to get from my folks which I know is never going to happen but still you make my life hell by trying?") I'm sorry, my man. Your loss that your mom is nt visiting but this is my ideal situation to be in! While you are changing the diaper, give her a bath as well. :D

Ah, the web we weave.