R.I.P Lulu, the Fish.

Sometime around July last year, Ashu walked to the nearby pond with her friend and came back all excited with a tiny little fish in a plastic cup. My immediate reaction was "Go back and leave the fish back in the pond right now!" But I want Lulu as my pet, Amma, begged Ashu. Any parent out there knows that once the kids have named something, we as well give up. So I put the fish in a flower vase and the doting dad took the girls to a pet shop to buy fish food. Ashu tried to ask me if she can get another fish since Lulu was lonely but I told her she has to choose if she wants me or another fish. And thankfully, she chose me! I had my doubts, to be honest.

In the beginning, I really felt bad about this little fish who was happily swimming in the pond with his family and now swimming in circles in a tiny vase. I even told Ashu how he misses his family and how his dad is looking for him and she should go and put him back in the pond but she rolled her eyes and told me, "This is not a movie, Amma. And its just a fish!" She also went on about how people eat fish and she's only keeping one as a pet! So I kept quiet. Hd cleaned the vase every week and changed the water. We added some pebbles to the vase. Everyday we had to remind Ashu to feed Lulu. ("peru vachiye, soru vachiye" moment*!) Months passed. Lulu survived a few weekends without us. Lulu survived the house move. Lulu stayed at a neighbors for 10 days when we were vacationing in December. And everyday I used to wonder how long does a pond fish so small would live.

Some days I even threatened Ashu that I will take Lulu back to the pond if she is not responsible. Every time she nagged us to buy her a dog, I used to say "You can't even take care of a tiny little fish." Antu used to stand near the fish and talk to him or show him off to her friends and over feed him. Except for feeding him twice a day, most of the time we even forgot his existence. And then eight months later, he died. Yesterday. I gave an involuntary scream when I found him dead and like a chain reaction, Ashu ran away to her room while Antu ran towards the fish. Both of them cried unconsolably and even I was choking a bit. Ashu did nt want to see Lulu again, did nt walk to talk about him or say goodbye. On the other hand, Antu wanted to know how he died, what we are going to do with him and whats going to happen to all the fish food! 

We gave him a proper burial outside our apartment. Antu was so sad that she could nt celebrate his first birthday. We called Hd and Antu cried her heart out to him while Ashu refused to talk to him. Antu also broke the news to her grand parents and aunt while Ashu refused to talk to them. "I just don't want to talk about him or remember him because it makes me sad", was her logic. Sigh. Anyway we went about our day and whenever we looked at the empty vase, we went silent. The house was too quiet and I don't know how its even possible. I have always had dogs while growing up and felt incredibly sad when each one of them died. But I never thought the death of a tiny little fish could bring so much sadness.

I talked to the girls about my dogs, how futile life is and how we should enjoy every minute, etc.. and gave them the whole spiel about being nice to each other. A mom has to milk every opportunity with a life lesson, no? Antu of course is one up on me when it comes to milking opportunities. At one vulnerable moment, she asked me in a sad voice, "Can we watch Finding Nemo today, Amma?"

* you named him but did you feed him? (but it rhymes in Tamil! :)

Bhaktha Antu.

Antu has been waiting for her teeth to fall and the tooth fairy to visit for a long time. Last month when her first tooth fell, we all did the needful by clicking photos, sending the said photos to grand parents, uncles and aunts, getting very excited, remembering to sneak the tooth away from under her pillow and to put some money there. And Antu was the happiest child in the universe when she found the money and promptly we all oohed and aaahed at the Tooth fairy's efficiency and did the needful by clicking photos, sending the said photos to grand parents, uncles and aunts, getting very excited, etc.. etc.. Two weeks later when the second tooth fell, she was nt every pleased that we were nt as excited as we were for the first tooth! And she also remembered the fact that Ashu had got a gift from Tooth Fairy and not money when her second tooth fell and told us that she was expecting the same! I felt bad for the poor kid and hid a gift this time. (A left handed pencil that the doting father had picked up from an airport somewhere a long time ago and had forgotten to give it to her came in handy!) Little Missy was very thrilled the next day and flaunted the pencil to everybody she met and we all did the needful! 

Antu loves gifts and this was proven when she she kept wiggling her tooth and made it fall this week. The third tooth. I don't even remembering getting anything for Ashu after the first two teeth and not like she cared anyway. And three teeth in three weeks was too much for me! So I thought I will put an end to this nonsense but Ashu and Hd kept telling that they will keep a 1 franc or 2 franc coin and make Antu happy so I said fine and left it at that. But Little Miss Greedy kept telling the whole day how Tooth Fairy gives cash only for the first tooth and how she gives gifts for the rest! That got my goat and I told her that thats not the case. 

"But I wished for a gift, Amma. Tooth Fairy also gets gifts like Santa. She will know what I wish for and give me that gift."

"Antu, listen to me! Theres no Tooth fairy ok?"

*Antu starts crying immediately*

(Meanwhile Ashu was giving me a look as if I was drowning a puppy.)

I got so mad but I have had enough of all this tooth fairy business and calmly started telling Antu that she's old enough to understand that its the parents who give the gifts and there is no tooth fairy. And that she's being greedy.

She was howling now as if I told her that I stole her as a baby for her magic hair!

Ashu could nt believe her ears and that her mother could stoop so low and was trying to pacify Antu. One would think I would have shut up right about now. But once I start, theres no stopping me! I kept telling Antu that theres no tooth fairy thinking that its better this heart breaking information came from me instead of her friends.

"You are lying, Amma. Tooth fairy is real and she is the one who gives gifts. I do not believe you", she screamed while still crying her heart out.

I got a bit scared now having grown up with the Prahalad story and Antus conviction was as strong as his! I imagined The Tooth Fairy flying into our house through the window and breaking all my teeth and wearing it as a "Maalai" and strangely could empathize with Hiranyakasipu like I could never before! 

"Listen Antu! I am just telling you that you are being a little greedy by wiggling your teeth and wishing for gifts. And I don't like that. You can believe in the Tooth Fairy if you want but you are not getting any gifts anymore, ok? So don't be disappointed when you wake up tomorrow and find nothing!"

"I believe in tooth fairy, Amma! AND SHE IS REAL, OK? And you know what you are doing? You are just spoiling my fun, Amma. That's what you are doing. You just want to spoil my fun!"

That stung.

Hd was duly informed about my failure as a parent and he took over and Antu got up the next morning very happy to find a 5 Franc coin under her pillow!

The fourth teeth is wiggling now and she did nt even mention it to me once. When I enquired about it today, she kept on talking about different things and when I persisted, she said "I believe in Tooth Fairy, Amma. I want Tooth Fairy to know that I believe in her, ok?"

This time, I shut up.

ps.
Chalk and Cheese.