Its all uphill from here.

Antu is one month old and being a baby shes supposed to be. Feeding, sleeping and dirtying diapers by the dozens! If you want any more update on how shes cooing, how shes smiling, how shes following objects and how utterly butterly adorable she is, please contact "mymom at onlygrandmascandoit dot com".

Ashu is another story, of course! Do you know how you are constantly asking your child to use words and talk and speak and not just howl and cry and throw a tantrum? Let me tell you its not nice when they "actually" tell you! One day, in the middle of a tantrum over nothing, I asked her to just tell me what she wants instead of being angry. I kept on asking her and forcing her to just tell me what she wants and I ll do it! She told me in a clear tone, "Take this baby back into your tummy. I dont like this baby". If you want to know, I felt as if someone had pierced me in the middle of my heart. With a very sharp knife. Its not like I did nt have a clue. But hearing her tell it in her own words was shocking. And I realized what I was doing wrong. Since Antu arrived, Ashu has been totally with my mom. My mom plays with her, feeds her, bathes her, reads to her, takes her out on walks and does EVERYTHING. Even if I attempted to do something, Ashu insisted Paati do it for her and I relaxed. Little did I know that she was testing me. And on weekends, my mom, Hd and Ashu went out. One day to the Zoo, the other day to the park, pool, etc... And this little thing was being all cutesy cute with Antu. Kissing her and hugging her and asking me to feed her when she cried. Helping me to changer her diaper, dress her, bathe her,... She was fully involved. But apparently, she had missed me. And I did nt know.

Anyway, I hugged her and kissed her and took her to our room and talked to her. She said "You are not playing with me Amma". I reminded her that she only had to ask. Since she never asked, I relaxed. I told her to ask me if she wants anything and also promised that I ll spend more time with her and that I love her. Then slowly I asked her why she said she did nt like the baby. The star that she is, she immediately replied in a guilty tone, "I did nt mean it, Amma."(Naan chumma dhaan sonnen.) Of course, that statement broke my already bleeding heart into a million pieces.

Since then, I have been spending more time with her and for the first time in a month, all of us went out to the park on Sunday. Ashu had a super duper time with a couple of kids there and when we came back home, she announced "I had a jolly good time today, Amma". She has never said anything like that when she went out with her dad and grandma. Usually she replies with a yes when I ask her if she had fun. But I felt elated that this 3 year old needs this 30 year old only because I am her Mother. Even though her Paati is more fun to be with. Even though her dad carries her happily unlike me who makes her walk.

I ll always be there for you, Honey. I ll make sure you dont have to ASK next time. I promise.

ps.
I realized that it helps talking about Ashus school friends who have baby sisters/brothers. Ashu is close to S who has a 7 month old baby brother. Ashu has seen the baby a lot of times and played with him. So talking about S and her brother helped. Two of my friends are also expecting their second babies and Ashu is friends with their first borns, both girls. Telling her that A and S are also going to become Big Sisters soon helped. She now thinks that she belongs to a group and its cool to be a big sis! But I had done all this groundwork even before Antu arrived and I think thats the reason Ashu has let her live! Who knew she did nt need me but wanted me? I tell you, this parenting is killing me. A bit at a time. Sigh!

Updated:
Something I realized after Bhavanis comment. Antu actually is quite low maintenance for a newborn. When Im not feeding her, shes sleeping. So its not that I did nt have time to spend with Ashu. The thing is whenever my mom is around, I completely unleash Ashu to her and totally relax. When we were in the US in March, my mom was doing everything for her and I did nt lift a finger. Since my mom is the only person who can take care of Ashus every need next to her parents and my mom loves to do that, I let go. I don't get a break like that often, so don't blame me! And Ashu did nt have a problem before. But now that Antu is in the picture, its difficult for her digest the fact that though Im not spending time with her, I'm spending some time with Antu and shes jealous. Paati is just not enough now. And I get her. Oh boy, don't I get her! I do that even now with my mom. Its OK if my mom is sitting idle without talking to me. But if shes talking to my sister and not talking to me, I go ballistic. I'm just going with the flow for now. I don't have any set plans to execute but understanding the problem is half the battle won, right? Or is it not? I ll know it in a while.

Thriller Movies and Me.

Any Mommies out there who watched A Clockwork Orange, Kill Bill, Oldboy and Pans Labyrinth in a span of one year? I need to know that I'm not the only freak. In my defence, all the above movies were shown on Film Four and I did nt rent the DVDs.

A Clockwork Orange - Watched it about a year ago, so the effect has worn off. But I had nightmares for an entire week.

Kill Bill - Watched it while I was pregnant. What to do? I could nt resist. I just covered my eyes with my hands and watched it through the gap between the fingers. That did nt help.

Oldboy - Watched it last week. If you have watched it, you know what I am talking about. If you have nt watched it, do NOT watch it. Violence, gore, mentally upsetting, physically revolting,... You name it, the movie has got it. And that too in EXTREME doses. How did someone come up with such a story and screenplay is what puzzles me? Is he a genius or a mental? Am I insane that I actually liked the movie?

Pans Labyrinth - Watched it yesterday. Excellent movie though some scenes were revolting.

I cant believe a weak hearted, easily scared person like me watched these movies. Till date I have nt watched the ending of Moondram Pirai/Sadma because I could nt take it. Did nt watch the second half of the movie Kaadhal because I knew it had some disturbing scenes. Some scenes in Mahanadhi and Kurudhi Punal freaked me out. I cried buckets after one of the Kajols gets murdered in that movie with Ashutosh Rana as the bad guy. By the way, I watched all the said 4 movies alone. Hd watched only Kill Bill after I watched it. He did nt watch the rest at all. And I promptly deleted the movies from the DVR as soon as the end credits rolled. I was a little ashamed for having watched them. Anyway, Hd does nt have the time and unless and until I force him, he would nt watch them. And I did nt want to watch these movies again. I wanted to erase them from my memory as soon as possible. A repeat viewing would seriously affect my mental health!

Anyway, to cleanse myself off these movies, I watched "The Prestige". Just WOW! Officially, The Prestige has become my most favorite movie EVER. I bow to Nolan. I watched Memento five years back. I just knew that it was a great movie but did nt know anything about it before watching it. Hd and I fell off from the sofa when we watched it. And as soon as the movie ended, we watched it again. Back to back. We even thought of watching it in reverse. It was mind blowing. But The Prestige is not as confusing as Memento. I mean, it does leave loads of questions unanswered but Im so much in awe with this movie that the whole world seems more brighter and happier to me. "The Pledge, The Turn and the Prestige" - Michael Caines voice will haunt me for a long time. While I see loads of people raving about Christian Bale's performance in this movie, I just loved Hugh Jackman. I think the casting is stellar. Now Im nagging Hd to watch it with me again. I cant wait to see his reaction and discuss the movie with him. I want to watch The Dark Knight badly now. But apparently, the movie is releasing in Switzerland only in September. And Wall E too. Can you believe that? Sucks!

So whats happening at Boodom?

Im busy with Antu. Moms busy with Ashu and the kitchen. Hd is busy with work and doing groceries. Hes doing more of the latter, he complains! (And no it did nt occur to me to get the groceries door delivered. Trust me to come up with a blog story and to mention my husband actually buys the groceries, ugh! ;)

Ashu is all lovey dovey with Antu. Probably faking it because I can see she does nt like it if my mom or Hd carries Antu. And instead of telling it directly, she comes up with gems like "Paati. Carry me. I have hurt my leg", "Appa, dont carry Antu. Give her to Amma. Shes hungry and Amma wants to feed her", "Paati, finish that story you were telling me", "Appa, Im hungry. Feed me". Its really heart breaking to see her camouflaging her true feelings and trying to be nice! My poor darling! Who teaches these little things to hide their true feelings? Sigh! Probably its part of the baby package these days as they have to continue this charade all their lives with someone or the other.

Went to the Family Centre in our area last week. The children's nurse there checked Antu and the baby has put on weight and thank God for that. (Ashu as a baby was always borderline or under weight!) Right now, all she does is feed and sleep. Shes hardly awake. I remember Ashu was awake and observant a little more than Antu even though she was a good sleeper too. But this one takes the cake. We can hardly take pictures of her. And that reminds me, we had a hard time taking her photos to apply for the passport. And not to mention the thumb impression. Since we applied for Ashu when she was 3 months old, we did nt have this much trouble. Making Antu look straight at the camera itself was a big task. And the flash was hurting her eyes. And since we needed a white background, could nt put her in the car seat either. And Antu tried every expression possible to make our task tougher. (See the photo for proof.) Anyway, after clicking loads of pictures for over 10 days, we got one. Phew! For the thumb impression, tried stamp pad, ink, kohl, eye liner, marker pen, sketch pen and at last poster color. Poster color worked. But the downside was that Ashu sneaked away with the bottle to her room while my mom and I were busy with taking the thumb print and started painting the floor using her hand and feet as brush!! Thank God, she did nt touch the wall.

And we will be moving nearer to Ashus school from October. We have given the notice for this house and but no luck finding a new house so far. The ones we like, we are nt getting. The ones we are getting, we don't like it. I mean 3 bedroom and ONE bathroom? 4th floor with no lift? At this rate, we ll be "c/o platform" from Oct. And there are some changes in Hds job front as well. New house, new baby, new class and new school timings for Ashu and my mom will be gone in Sept. I think I ll go rest now when I can!

The Mystery of the Mudichu.

I got up from the bed today morning after feeding Antu and walked to the bathroom. (You can never ever guess what I am about to say in my next sentence.) I found my pyjama strings in a clump of knots.(Mudichu in Tamil.) And of course once the brain realizes you are in the bathroom, it orders the bladder to empty NOW even though you try to send a distress signal - "May Day, May Day - We ve a Moondru Mudichu situation here!" So I try to undo the knot but they are very twisted. It looks like a sabotage to me. Not the usual tight knot situation but lots of amateurish knots. (Yes, Im an expert in the Mudichu problem.) Can a 3 week old tie knots while nursing? Not if a 3 year old resident monkey is present, right? Right. So I go to Ashus room where she and my mom are reading a book.

"Did you tie knots in my pants?"
"Yes Amma", with a proud smile.
"When did you do this?"
"Tomorrow." (She means yesterday which actually means some time ago. Can be minutes ago or days ago or even weeks ago!)

Then I see my mom giving a sheepish smile and I ask in horror, "Did you have a hand in this?" And she says that Ashu came to her with a fabric belt and kept on asking her to tie it around her waist and my mom taught her how to make a knot. So Ms. Smarty Pants, knowing that she needs practice and cant do it on herself (what if SHE needed to pee in a hurry?) decides to try it on Mommy who is sleeping like a log and would nt know even if someone "uruvufies" her pyjamas let alone tie knots on the strings!! Anyway, while solving the mystery, I was still trying to undo the knot. To prove that Mr.Murphy is right, I had trimmed my finger nails the previous day and could nt undo them easily. Then Hd came to rescue and with his teeth and my short nails we managed to undo them after a while. (But it was a sight to watch. Hd going for my naadas with his teeth! ;)

And that is why, my dear ladies and gentlemen, life with kids is so interesting. Even in your wildest imagination, you cant come up with a situation like this. Can you? If not for the resident monkey, this post would have been - "I got up. I peed." And now who would want to read that? Hey, but you just did! :)

Antu's Arrival - The Birth Story.

Friday, 27th June 2008

5.00 am - I get a feeling today is the day. Yes, its our once in two weeks Laundry Day, usually a busy day for me. Then I experience the beginning of mild contractions. I time them. Lasting 15 seconds and coming every 8 minutes. "Oh no, not on laundry day", is my first reaction! There are still some baby clothes to be washed. The clothes my mom brought from India which smell of Payatham Maavu and Oorugai. Then there are the bed linens and towels, of course. So like any self respecting house wife, I start sorting out the laundry while timing the contractions.

7.00 am - The contractions are coming every 5 minutes lasting 25 seconds now but manageable. I wake Hd up and ask him to start on the laundry as we have a long day ahead. His reply - "I'm not waking up a minute before 8 am". I thrust the notebook on his face where I ve written down the timings of the contractions and ask him "Are you sure?" His reaction was priceless. Knowing his priorities right, he starts on the laundry. If not for the fact that we ve to climb two floors with a fully loaded laundry basket to get to the laundry room, I would ve done it, of course. But even a super woman like me knows her limits! So I shower, organize a few things around the house, give instructions to my mom, call my sister and father, eat light breakfast, call the hospital and get ready to go.

9.00 am - Every three minutes lasting 40 seconds and they are becoming worse. I hold a door, bend a little, breathe and try to manage the pain every time it hits me. I do a Namaskaram for God and for my Mom and get into the car with Hd. (Did you know that the Namaskaram position - Child's pose in Yoga - helps the baby descend through the birth canal?)

9.15 am - The midwife is expecting me. She does an internal examination, my water breaks and I am 3 cm dilated. "You are nt going anywhere", she tells me and I change into the hospital garb.

10.00 am - I am 7 cm dilated. The contractions are more painful and more frequent. But still manageable. "Your breathing is good", tells the midwife and gives me more ideas to handle the pain. I ask for an exercise ball and sit on it. It helps a little. Hd pressing my back with his fist every time I get a contraction helps me immensely and not to mention the breathing. I don't think I perfected the art of breathing the first time, but this time it came to me as natural as, well, breathing! Kodi's Mom come to my thoughts a lot during all these ordeal. I have nt even seen a photo of her but somehow I feel shes there. Guiding me. Don't ask me, it was just one of those surreal things that happens during labor. (Thank you for the invisible presence, A. You were my strength. Truly.)

10.45 am - I am 10 cm dilated. I want to push. I say so to the midwife. She guides me. The contractions are horrible now but I focus on pushing. The midwife tells me what I am doing wrong. I am stretching my neck, exhaling through the mouth and pushing my legs instead of bending my head downwards and focussing on pushing. So I do that. Meanwhile, the IV needle inserted on my left wrist gets ripped off and theres blood everywhere. Hd asks for a tissue to wipe his hands. I manage to give him a look in spite of my situation.

11.00 am - The baby plonks out. Hd cuts the cord and the baby is lying on my chest. Placenta is delivered, my Doctor who arrived a few minutes before the delivery does the honor of stitching me up. Second degree tear. Not as bad as the first time, thank God. Hd calls up family to share the news.

And this is where the story should end on a high note. But not in my case. The after pains which came soon after the delivery was HORRIBLE. It seems they are worse after the second delivery. I truly felt that the labor pains were much easier to handle than these God-knows-what-pains! I started crying and pleading to Hd, "Kill me, Kill me now." He was totally lost on what to do. "I thought my part was done as soon as the baby came out or did I forget something from last time", he seemed to ask. Of course, he did nt dare ask. He knew I would ve killed him first. The midwife thought that it might help me if I pee. But I could nt. So out came the catheter and my bladder was emptied. I was also losing too much blood. I tried to get up, but felt dizzy.

1.00 pm - The midwife commented that I'm looking pale. More than one doctor was checking my pulse and BP, a ECG machine was wheeled in and I was monitored. I did nt know what was going on. Meanwhile, the baby was bathed and dressed and was sleeping. The midwife asked Hd to give the baby her first bath and he looked at me as if the midwife has gone nuts! "Just wash her. I don't care if shes not clean but don't drown her ok?", I gave my 2 cents. He passed the test though.

2.00 pm - Hd and I shared a light lunch. I was drinking gallons of water. I tried to sleep but could nt. I wanted to take a shower and be taken to my room. I was getting impatient. I was bloody and battered and felt dirty. Why am I still here, I wondered. My pulse and BP were being checked regularly.

3.00 pm - The Doctor tells me that my pulse went down, BP was alarmingly low and my heart beat was erratic. I gave them a scare. She asks me if I'm feeling anything. No, I reply. "I'm having heart palpitations", I gloat to Hd.

4.00 pm - The after pains are killing me. The awesome midwife I had so far wishes me good luck and leaves while another one joins duty. I tell her I want to pee and take a shower. She helps me to the bathroom. I'm happy to be up on my feet again. I sit on the toilet and heave a sigh of relief. Then get into the shower cubicle and switch on the shower. Next thing I know, I am lying on the floor like a tonne of bricks and the midwife is asking me, "Can you hear me? Can you see me?" Hd is switching off the shower and getting me a towel. They bring a wheel chair and take me to the bed. So much for being on my feet again!

5.00 pm - Hd leaves the baby and me and goes home to bring my mom and Ashu. The baby is cosily sleeping on the counter and I'm lying on the bed hooked to the IV. I think about all those movies where the deathly ill hero/heroines yank off their IVs and tubes and run to each other either to die together or to be killed by one of their parents.(duh!) I don't think I would ve budged an inch even if some stranger came to the room, took the baby and ran away. All I could ve managed was a weak "Good Luck". Its not like I would ve recognized the kidnapper(or the baby for that matter!) in a lineup later since I was nt wearing my glasses, so whats the point?!

6.30 pm - Hd, Ashu and Mom arrive. Ashu is thrilled. Photos are taken. I am still in pain.

8.00 pm - At last! We are taken to our room. I am hooked to the IV. I'm given a mild pain killer. I need help to go to the bathroom. I am constantly monitored.The baby latches on beautifully and nurses. I eat dinner.

9.00 pm - Everyone leaves. Its just the baby and me in the room. We both sleep soundly the entire night. Nurses check both of us every 3 hours.

I felt better the next day. But very weak. Even with a third degree tear and comparatively longer labor last time, I was on my feet within a few hours of delivery and was on the phone non stop. But this time, I was on IV for two days. Could nt walk to the bathroom without help and could nt lift the baby. My right hand was swollen due to the IV and I could nt write or type. But things got better the third day. On Monday, I was sent to the Cardiologist. He did an ECG and declared that my heart is normal. Told me that my palpitations could ve been due to the labor and advised me to get it checked if it happens again. I was relieved. But that does nt stop me from using such a juicy excuse to taunt Hd. Clutching my heart and pleading "Don't argue with a heart patient" has been working like a charm these days!

And thus arrived Baby Antu making my heart skip a beat. Literally! :)

Homecoming attire ready for future grand kids!

Comparison starts right from the moment you find out you are pregnant again. Actually even before. While you are trying to conceive perhaps? And I'm no different. I know all new born babies look very similar. In fact, I saw a baby in the hospital who looked exactly like Antu and if I were nt holding her in my hands, I would ve grabbed the other baby claiming she was mine! So it should nt come as a surprise when the sisters look alike especially in the same set of clothes. I had asked my mom to bring this particular white outfit of Ashu's from India. It was what Ashu was wearing when she came home from the hospital. And that's exactly what I wanted Antu to wear too. (Utbt - Remember the dress? Yes, you sent it for Ashu 3 years back!) So here they are and thus my alpa aasai (silly wish) has been fulfilled.

Wimbledon.

Federer lost! Federer lost! Federer lost! Boo hoo hoo, Federer lost! But Nadal totally deserved to win. The best player truly won today. But what a match! Almost 7 hours of not changing the TV channel. That has got to be the first time in our household. I became so impatient at the end. Even asked Ashu to pray for "Federer Uncle". But it was too late, I guess. Why else would nt God listen to a little girls prayer, I ask! I remember watching the 2005 US Open when Ashu was a baby. Federer won against Agassi. Now with Baby Antu, the winds have changed. Sigh!

What with winning the Euro 2008 Football Championship last weekend, Spain is surely on a roll! Here's Ashu in her Euro T shirt practicing her moves. If not a Tennis player, she has good chance to become a goalkeeper, methinks! ;)

Meet My Sister.

Hello World!

I am happy to introduce ANTU, my brand new baby sister, to all of you. She arrived on 27th June 2008 at 11 am weighing 2.950 Kg and measuring 49 Cm tall. How cute is that she was born on 27th too just like me! Or is she already competing? I ll give her some benefit of doubt for now since she did nt give Amma too much trouble while coming out and shes so tiny. I managed just fine for 4 days without Amma at home though it made me realize no one can replace Amma. (I SO did nt feel that way, but you know who is writing this post, don't you? I cant even read yet let alone write blog posts!) Amma was in such a dizzy state and in so much pain while recovering that she did nt have the time to miss me. Grandma and I welcomed Amma and Antu home yesterday and now Antu can see me in my element although all she does is drink milk and sleep. Which is supposed to be good, I am told.

Amma will give you more details later as soon as she can sit it one place long enough without hurting her behind. For now, leaving you with a photo of us two sisters. Yes, yes, you are allowed to take your eyes off me and see Antu and rave how cute she is. I wont mind. We saw my baby pictures yesterday and I can see I was cuter. Now Antu cant compete with my deadly dimples, can she? ;)

And thank you so much for all your wonderful wishes through emails and comments. It put a special smile on Ammas face and so a special thanks from me for the same. And oh, what about Appa, you ask? He survived the labor, cut the cord and is recovering fine too. Do you think he had any other role in this baby making business? Beats me!

Luv,
Ashu.

Update on Ashu at 3 Years and 2 Months.

No, she has still not become an older sister. Yet. But shes as ready as one as young as her can be. She is still sticking to the name she has chosen for the baby and since we don't have anything better, we are keeping it. Shes all "I ll do this for the baby Ma, I ll do that for baby Ma". But I can so picture her as a "Jealous Jalaja"(JJ as the syndrome is called in my family!) If shes anything like me, she ll eat the baby alive. Im counting on the baby to be more accommodating than her.

So my mom arrived on Friday night. And since then Hd and I have seen only little of Ashu. My mom is behaving like a house elf. She gets up early, does her thing, cooks for us and then Grandma and Grandchild disappear to their room. We hardly see them. Then Ashu is fed, entertained, bathed, dressed, dinner appears on the table, tea is made, clothes folded,... So Hd and I decided to make hay while the sun shines and caught two movies on big screen. We watch football matches together on TV, eat dinner together, don't snap at each other, talk without being interrupted,... You know the saying that a candle flame lights up brighter before burning out? I guess this is our chance for that bright period before the baby comes. And I strongly suspect that Ashu is going to have a problem if my mom picks up the baby. Mom and dad are dispensable, but grandma? She rules!

I can see shes upset that theres no school. Today she asked me "Is today school day, Amma?" and when I told her for the umpteenth time that the school is closed for summer, she nodded in a sad way.

She has become noticeably independent since she turned three. She plays on her own for long stretches with her blocks and dolls and toys making up stories. She does puzzles after puzzles with great interest. She keeps looking at pictures in her books taking in everything. Wears her clothes on her own with only little help from me. If only she ate all on her own and night trained herself out of her diapers! Yes, yes, I want it all!

She has become this annoying kid who has to know everything. What did you say to Appa? What did Appa say? Why did you say Stupid, Amma? What did Appa do amma? Why are you scolding the car on the front amma? Is it a bad boy car? Are you angry? Why are you angry? What are you laughing at amma? What are you reading amma? What is this? What is that? The questions are endless.

Shes painfully shy among strangers. She turns her back to people on the elevator, does not accept gifts from friends, does not say thank you or please, does not say anything, period. But house guests are different. She gets attached to people when they come home. I told her a couple of times to be nice to people and tried to talk to her. I can see that she wants to try but does nt know what to do about it. Shes tongue tied. So I have just let it go. She ll learn in her own time. Whats the hurry to socialize? Hd and I were shy kids too so no surprise there. Dot Thoughts sent an article - 8 way to help the shy child- on the same issue via email. Immensely useful if you have a shy kid. Thanks, Dottie.

By the time I write her next update, she ll be an older sis. Forever.

Dasavatharam - My Take.

We watched Dasavatharam on Saturday. I am a HUGE Kamal fan. I loved him in the movie. I was in awe. I was bowled over by his performance. But the movie sucked. BIG time. What WERE you thinking, dude? And all this incredible and brilliant performance for this script? What a waste. But hats off to him. I ll always be a fan.

(Pictures collaged from sulekha.com)
Liked Fletchers make up and performance. Brilliant. And Balram Naidu and Poovaraghan. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Liked the Japanese dude and Nambi too. Bush was nt as bad as I expected him to be. Avtar Singh get up was good but hated that character and the Paati and Kalifulla. Total waste. And these were my honest, first impressions. I dont want to be told how its a movie on chaos theory and how these characters matter. Just because its based on chaos theory does nt mean the story has to be chaotic. I mean some story discussion did happen before making the movie right? Or did they just let 10 characters loose and asked them to be as chaotic as possible and shot them candidly? Give me a break.

And here I went for the movie 38 weeks pregnant for the 11.30 pm show leaving Ashu with my jet lagged mother. It hurt my back to sit there for 3 hours. The ticket cost 50 freaking Francs for both of us. I had read dozens of reviews, discussed the movie with my sis and parents. Did nt expect too much but still I was disappointed. Even though I had made up my mind to like it. I think theres no cheating oneself. What you feel is what you feel. Cant help it. But saying "I hated the movie" in one sentence is such a huge insult to Kamals performance. That I can say for sure. But right now, I am the black sheep in my family. My mom, dad, sis and bil have let me live because I'm carrying another life. Indha oru vaati, mannichudungapa please.
Some of the ridiculous reasons I was given defending this movie:

1. Its better than Kuruvi.

2. It does nt have romantic duet songs.

3. I did nt get the story.

4. Kamals performance is brilliant.

5. That I discussed this movie for 45 minutes on a long distance phone call to my dad.

6. I had too much expectations.

7. I ve watched far more worse movies.

8. Kamals performance is brilliant.

9. I should not compare this to Devar Magan, Anbe Sivam and Virumaandi.

10. And did I mention, Kamals performance is brilliant?

Yes, Kamal is God. Hes already up there for me, even without Dasavatharam I would worship him. So I ve nothing against Kamal but I did NOT like the movie. Came out of the theater with a bitter taste is my mouth, thats all. Im only wondering how far worse the movie could have been if it were nt for Kamal. But then Ajith did prove that in Citizen, did nt he? ;) Hd and I decided to make hay while the sun shines and went for Indiana Jones last night. Now this, me likey! What to do? I can totally imagine Kamal saying something like "Namba vera naatula porandhurukalaam da"! If only...

This week.

On Monday, we had a parents teachers meeting at Ashus school. Our first. Since shes only in play school, nothing serious - Just a "Oh we are happy", "you are happy", "good", "bye then"! The teachers gave a potted plant for Ashu. A sun flower seed she had sown and has been watering every day for the past 2 weeks. A tiny shoot with one leaf. So cute. They also gave Ashus port folio. A folder with lots of pictures taken during class, the crafts she has done, a page on how she behaves in class, about her friends, that shes a little shy, that she likes to listen to the other kids and observe, loves puzzles and books, etc... A geek in the making, alright!

On Tuesday, it was match day in Zurich. (France Vs Italy) So roads were closed, traffic diverted, traffic jams and all the works. Reached the school 10 minutes late by which time Ashu had slept. Also, I had made the mistake of telling her the previous day that she ll go to big class from August with different teachers which she did nt like. So she started crying when I left her in the class. That's a first in months! Anyway, Ms.S carried her off and I decided to do some shopping nearby rather than going home and coming back in the bad traffic. Picked her up at 3. She told me that she wants Miss.M and Miss.S as her teachers and does nt want a new teacher. Oh Boy! I said OK and left it at that!

No school on Wednesday. Cooked, cleaned and prepared Ashu for the teddy bear picnic the next day in school and asked her to choose a bear. She chose her care bear.

On Thursday, Hubby was traveling. I made some cucumber sandwiches for the picnic and left for school in the afternoon. Since it was the last day of school and the kindergarten classes were also having picnic, the car park was over flowing. I parked the car in a nearby paid parking lot and walked to the school. We were 9 kids, 5 moms and 2 teachers. Had fun sitting on the grass and chatting with everyone. It was a perfect sunny day. We moms gave the gifts we had bought for the teachers. Ashu gave them the card she made and I took loads of photos. But then, felt really bad because Ashu would nt sing any rhymes during circle time, would nt answer any of the teachers Qs, would nt play with the kids in the play yard, she was either playing on her own or sitting beside me. Only the last 30 mins, she joined the other kids and played in the slide and the swing. Miss M told me not to worry as she usually joins in all the fun and shes being shy because I was there. Strange kid, this one. I really, really like Miss.M. Shes great with the kids. Too bad she would nt be Ashus teacher in Pre K. One of the moms had brought her youngest baby along. Hes 6 months old. Ashu just fell in love with him, gave him her bear, her hat, her snack and was touching him and kissing him and talking to him. It was so nice to see her with a baby. At 3 pm, said good byes to everyone, collected Ashus things from her class and came home dead beat because of the sun and the heat. Hd came home quite late in the night.

I wanted to do something special with just the 3 of us together yesterday but did nt work out. Because technically, it was the last day with just the 3 of us. My mom arrives tonight(Yippeee!) and in less than two weeks, the baby will be here and we will no longer be a family of 3. Sigh! Planning to go out in the evening. But theres loads of shopping and cleaning to do that I don't know if we ll have the time. Well, the thought counts. Speaking of which, I don't think we are going to be a "perfect" family once the baby is here. Whats with wishing "Oh, your family is perfect now" after the second baby arrives? I think we were a pretty perfect family with just Hd and I, then with Ashu too. It was a perfect family when my sis and I were kids and for that matter, I think it was more perfect before I was born! *evil grin* I don't think this baby has to come into this world with the baggage of making my imperfect family perfect! I don't think theres any agenda attached actually. The first child was well, we wanted to see what a baby is actually like and whether we can produce one. Then I did nt want to have another one. Neither did Hd. Hes an only child and he said he did nt miss any sibling and he did nt think Ashu needed a sibling. I was nt too keen either. I thought I would be a better "mom of one" rather than a "mom of two". But once Ashu was 2 1/2, I started telling Hd, "I don't want one. But if you want one, lets just get it over with. I don't want to wait until Im 35". And he was like "I don't want one. But if you want, I am ready!" (Of course you would be dear!) Then we both said what the heck and decided to get pregnant. Because we can. That's all there is to it. So its "We wanted to see what a baby is like and how good are we as parents" if Ashu asks why she came into existence and "Because we can have unprotected sex and no one can question us" to answer baby no 2. And then, they lived happily ever after. The End.

Four more weeks to go.

The other day I was showing Ashu her baby pictures and preparing her for Baby Pinocchio. And I told her "Look Ashu. you did nt have any teeth when you were born. The baby also wont have any". She was really intrigued and pointed the next photo and said, "Look Ma. Theres no tongue either!" And today after a month or so after that incident, she came to me with a worried look and asked "Amma! Will Pinocchio have hands?" Uh,oh! Then I had to reassure her that Pino will have all the body parts intact. Only the teeth will come later. Its tough being a clueless child, I suppose!

****

Had a Doctor appointment on Friday and alls well." So your due date is July 3rd! Is 10 am OK for you?", asked the Doc. What? That's all? No more check ups? So the next time I go to the hospital, I ll come back with a baby? Arrrrgh!!!

****

As always, last minute panic attacks have struck. I'm so ill prepared. Last pregnancy by this time, the crib was assembled, baby clothes laundered and folded and arranged, diapers bought, hospital bag packed, lists after lists were written and was waiting for my mom. But this time, I'm just waiting for my mom. I'm counting down to my moms arrival on the 20th more than the due date actually! But I'm sure all I ll do after she comes is sit on the couch with my feet up and eat all the goodies she cooks. (If you are reading this post today, "Happy Birthday Mom"!)

****

Talking about the crib, listen to this freaky coincidence. We bought a wooden crib in Basel for Ashu and gave it to a friend before we left for India when Ashu was 5 months old. Fast forward 2 and a half years, this friend moved back to India last month and asked if I wanted the crib!! Its really, really freaky because every one of the ten or so friends we had in Basel have moved from that city and these are the only friends who still lived there and almost 3 years later, we are back in Zurich and they are moving back to India and we got the crib back. The crib we chose and bought 2 months before Ashu was due. The first ever DIY Hd did and I knew he would nt go anywhere without my help. The bed Ashu slept on like a baby! Sigh! Its really huge for me because in the last 8 years, I have lived in so many places that theres nothing sentimental I have hung on to. Buy stuff, throw stuff, move to another city, buy stuff, throw stuff,... has been the story of my life. So I'm really thrilled to have the crib back.

****

We went to a Lebanese restaurant for dinner on our anniversary. Awesome food. I seem to love Mediterranean cuisine a lot in spite of being a vegetarian. I remember having a great time in Greece, especially the food part. Keep the Pita bread coming and with the Mezze (Salads, dips, olives,...), I'm one happy puppy! Not to mention, the assortment of Baklava for dessert! *drool* Ashu had half a falafel ball, 2 bites of pita bread, one small piece of tomato and one scoop of Vanilla ice cream. Yes, the girl exists purely to torture me. Slowly.

****

We ve almost decided on a name for the baby. Actually, Ashu has! We made the mistake of asking if that name was good a couple of months back and she stuck to that name. Now whenever Hd or I come up with a different name, she absolutely refuses to give up that name. "No Amma, I don't like that name. I like ****** only", she says! And this one had the nerve to reveal that name to the house guests who were here last week. Well, at least its not Pinocchio. So I think we ll keep that name. We cant seem to come up with anything else anyway!

****

Waiting for the release of Dasavatharam this weekend. If the only Tamil friend here is not interested, then I'm going to watch it alone. It better be worth it!

****

Ten Reasons Why I Love You.

1. I know that you will be on my side even if the whole world is against me. How you are still on my side even when we are fighting.

2. How you like to learn and grow in this relationship. How you constantly tune into my needs and satisfy them. How you are just so perfect. For me.

3. I will always, always remember the time you got me that beautiful necklace for my birthday 6 years back but without the matching ear rings and then told me, we can go and get the ear rings later in the evening if I like the necklace as the store policy is against returning ear rings. How thoughtful was that! And I loved you more since the necklace was just perfect. I realize now that these little things are which make or break a relationship. And come what may, "We ll always have the Necklace". :) Well, at least I ll have it! (and the matching earrings!)

4. That you have let me believe that your family is more important to you than work and given a chance you would spend your day with us than at work. It might or might not be true and honestly I don't care. I just need that reassurance and I'm glad you know that.

5. I love you the most for letting me win a futile argument because it means so much to me to have the last word. I can get away with stuff like, "Because I say so", "Because I am carrying your child", "Just because",... and you indulge me. Thank you so much for being the bigger person in this relationship. I know its a lot of hard work and it would ve killed me by now if I were at it.

6. That I don't have to think twice before telling you something. The biggest reason why I love you has to be this one. Calling you a moron, myself a fatso, our daughter a genius, my sister bossy, my Bil hen pecked, my mom horrible, my dad a jerk, your parents loony bins, ... and lets not even go near our friends. (yes, bloggers included! ;) OK now the whole world knows but then we have more dirt on them than these, don't we? One person I don't have to pretend with. Ever. Ah, the bliss!

7. Ashus puppy dog devotion to you only makes me love you more, if that's possible.

8. That it took me less than 10 minutes to write this list.

I ll stop this list with eight things. For now.

Happy 8th Anniversary, Darling! :)

Bose, the Boss!

Did I tell you I got an iTouch from the husband for my birthday in March? Since we were in the US then and Hd was leaving back to Zurich a week before my birthday, he took me to the Apple store and let me choose an iPod. Of course I fell in love with the iTouch as soon as I saw it and I wanted that or nothing! Its as cool as it comes, I tell ya. Love it! Yes, this is my first iPod. Hd got an used iPod(bought it from my sis) a couple of years back and somehow I never bonded with it as much as I did with my 1 Gig MP3 player. The trusty player helped me through the boredom of breastfeeding Ashu 24/7, three years back. So I thought that iTouch would be ideal for the coming months. Then Hd with his mastermind kept ordering this and that from Amazon sitting in Zurich and a package a day was arriving at our door steps with my sisters name there! A beautiful leather pouch for the iTouch one day, a language translator the next, then a Digi cam lens protector, some Digital photography books and then came one more package. I knew about it of course but was discouraging Hd but he went ahead and bought it anyway. A Bose Headphone (the one in the picture) is what Im talking about. It looks bulky but light weight and when I opened it from the package and tested it, I knew for sure that I was never going to give it to Hd!! All my favorite songs sound even more fantastic now and the way the music surrounds me and the way I can appreciate every single musical instrument which is a part of the song is truly bliss! Hd is mighty annoyed that I ve stolen it from him even though I was the one who did nt want him to buy it in the first place. Hey, a girl cant change her mind or what!

Currently, Jodha Akbar and Guru are on non stop loop! Oh God, how can I describe the feeling. Its 10 pm. Ashu is in deep sleep in her room, Hd is busy with some office work and Im lying on the bed in the darkened room with just the music surrounding me. Occasionally, the baby kicks and reminds me that Im not entirely alone! And then my mind goes on a tangent and I start to look forward for the months of feeding the baby when the baby will actually be kicking me from the outside. The moment is just precious.

If only I can lose some weight post partum with my innumerable (mentally) choreographed moves for the Mayya Mayya song from Guru, life will be just perfect. I think I can be at the Elpitical for hours if I have this song on repeat. Got to hit the gym as soon as possible. Crossing fingers.

Now for some bashing. Why would Harris Jayaraj make Bombay Jayashree and Madhushree sing the same song and release them both in the album? Pachai Kili Muthu Charam was released sometime last year and I have heard the songs hundreds of times so far. But with Bose now, every little mistake is glaringly obvious. Unakul Naane is truly amazing when Jayashree sings it and annoying as hell when Madhushree sings it. Wont a Music Director realize that? What was the whole point? Did he have something against Madhushree? I definitely think so. Every "vaa" (sollavaa, allavaa, paarthidavaa, ...) sounds like a question when Jayashree sings it which is what it should be and is like "Vaa" (come) when Madhu sings it which is just annoying like hell!!(solla VAA, alla VAA, paarthida VAA,...) I mean theres a huge difference between "Ranamum Then Allavaa" and "Ranamum Then Alla VAA", no? I cant help but remember that old Bhagyaraj movie where the Hindi Teacher is trying to teach Hindi to that friend of Bagyarajs ("Ek Gaaon mein ek Kisaan...") and in frustration bangs the students head and beats the hell out of him because he cant learn one sentence properly after all those classes. I feel the Hindi teachers pain. (Madhushree thalai la naalu kuttu kutti, nangu nangu nu nalla nokkanum pola irukku!) On a good note, how fabulous is that song "Karu karu Vizhigalaal". Why am I not surprised that Karthik is one of the singers! *drool*

And I also realized that my most favorite movie album is "Mudhal Mariyaadhai". I know! I am surprised too! The movie is 25 years old, I guess. But what great songs. What great lyrics! The thing I like most about it is that you cant take these set of songs and use them for any other movie. Unlike movies today where the songs are totally interchangeable with any other movie. Of any other genre even! Every song of Mudhal Mariyaadhai is just so apt for that particular scene and the lyrics are as if they are part of the screenplay. I never thought I would rave about Bharathiraja, Ilayaraja and Vairamuthu so much especially for the same movie! The trio truly rocked. And the singers Malaysia Vasudevan and S Janaki. They just created magic. Of course, the entire credit goes to the cast. If not for Sivaji Ganesan, this movie would have never worked for me! Comparing this to Kizhakku Seemaiyile where the music(AR Rehman) was great, the lyrics too and the same Bharathiraja as the Director. And great acting too. But somehow Vijayakumar did nt do justice.(But Napolean rocked though!) Sivaji would have taken the movie to a different level, no? According to me, Devar Magan would nt have been Devar Megan without Sivaji even though its a Kamal movie. By the way, I either like a movie or dont. I dont care whether I like the actor or not! On that note, I have made up my mind that I like Ilayarajas music better than Rahmans. But I like Rahman better than Ilayaraja.(If that makes sense!) And thats the reason, celebrities should nt give too many interviews. It totally affects a fans impression of them irrespective of how great their work is. In a good way and bad! It should nt be that way but hey, its not a fair world. If it was, would PR be such a thriving business? ;)

Notes for Husband.

Hd,

So I'm 34 weeks pregnant and the d day is arriving fast. You know that far, don't you? This time around I'm more scared about the home front than the hospital front. I'm going to be in the hospital at least for 5 nights. That means, its just going to be Ashu and you at home. I'm sure if Ashu was old enough to understand the enormity of it, she would get herself admitted in the hospital bed next to mine. But the poor child does nt have a clue. Anyway, I dont want to be unfair. I can leave with absolutely no instructions and I know you can manage Ashu and the house just fine. Only not my way! After all, when have you ever "listened" to my instructions? But this time, Im writing them all down. Because, these are the little things which mean a lot to our baby girl. Her world is going to turn upside down in a month or so and for the first time in her life, her mom is going to be away in the night. So lets try to make this easier for her, shall we?

Here it goes...

1. I know that you know the breakfast routine, even a visually challenged person would know that by now, but let me go through it once more. She does nt want her milk as soon as she wakes up. Give her some time. And ever since she started drinking from that silver tumbler, theres this small routine you ve to follow. Pour half of the milk from the big plastic cup to the small tumbler. Only after she finishes every drop, should you pour again. But not all. You should leave a teeny bit of milk in the plastic cup so that she herself can pour that milk to her tumbler. Pour everything and she ll cry foul. Leave a lot and she ll complain that its too heavy for her to pour! And once shes done, she ll drop the plastic cup in the sink and keep the silver tumbler gently on the counter so that not to dent it. Yes, I taught her that. And she actually listens. And theres a lesson for you right there!

2. For your information, she cant drink milk, juice, eat a banana, an egg, toast, cereal,... all in the span of an hour. Unlike some people! *rolling eyes* So give a decent interval before asking her to eat the next thing.

3. Yes she can use the bathroom by herself when she wants to pee and would nt let us help. But sometimes when shes in a hurry, she will ask us to come and help her, afraid that she ll have an accident. That's your cue to throw the laptop and run to her. Unlike me, shes not saying that "just" to get your attention!

4. She loves bath time and has an elaborate routine with her bath toys. Its an honor if she invites you into her imaginary world of ocean animals. Indulge her. And she neatly puts the toys back in their place after her bath. So that's one job less for you. After the bath, she prostrates before Lord Krishna and sings along a short prayer. Then she puts some viboodhi on her forehead and expects you to bend down so that she can put some on your forehead too. Accept it. Even if you have nt had your bath yet.

5. Her school would be closed for summer soon. So no school routine to learn, you lucky sod!

6. Give her a notice period. Don't do anything abruptly. Tell her that that's the last book you are going to read before beginning it. She understands better that way. (Try this with me at your own risk, though!)

7. She will regularly remove the clothes of all her dolls and nag you to no end to dress them up again. Its an easy thing even you can do it! Except for one doll. That doll has to be dressed in an order. Panties first, dress next and then the shoes. But leave the Velcro strap of the dress undone. She ll do it herself. Do it any other way and be ready to face her wrath. Hey don't look at me! Her doll, her rules!

8. When in doubt, ask her. No shame in it! Even if you want to know where the "pottu kadalai" (fried gram dal) is. Yes, she knows.

9. She knows her outdoor clothes from her indoor ones. Don't try to mix and match. She knows I hate that! So should you. And I ll find out too when you guys visit me in the hospital. Duh!

10. And last but not least, don't you dare call me while I'm the hospital and ask where the Mustard seeds are or where Ashus hat is. That's the worst thing you could do.

I ll stop here although the list could go on. I know you would rather be by my side and leave her with a friend knowing how you held my hands while I was delivering the placenta instead of taking pictures of Ashu soon after she was born. But I would be more at peace if you were with her than me. Of course, my mom is coming in a month and all these are just in case I go into labor before she arrives. But if its later, then you better get your behind to the hospital and take care of this baby. Instructions to take care of me will come to you automatically once you go through the familiar pain of me squeezing your fingers to pulp.

Good Luck.

Much Love,
B o o.

I remember writing this post about a fight with Hd and in the comment section I went on to say that our fights are getting shorter and shorter after the baby. Well, its now official that Ashu is no more a baby. And we are back to the usual these days. The one thing I do when we fight is deprive Hd of any information and sooner or later he has to come to me to beg for some info. Alas, I ve lost that privilege now thanks to my talkative daughter. So he comes back from work today and I give him a cold shoulder. Ashu as usual jumps with joy seeing her dad and they both ignore me. Goes on to say, "Amma did nt make mammam. I had pasta for lunch" when Hd asks her what she ate! Then lifts my shirt and feels the baby kicking and asks her dad to come and touch my tummy! Goes on to tell him about "our" day! There goes my strategy of withholding information out of the window. The man who would have apologized by now has nt even turned to my side yet. Instead both had their dinner together(He got us take away dinner as we had planned before the fight. That's another score for him!) and are reading books now. Sucks! Well, at least theres another baby due. But I'm sure Ashu would nt miss a detail even then! Its ONLY trouble when they grow up, I tell you.

Say "Cheese"!

Last minute planning and on Saturday morning we hit the road. Destination - Gruyères (pronounced as groo-yehr), the town famous for its Cheese. We reached the town in the afternoon. As the town center is car free, we parked the car on the foot hills and walked the 10 minutes trek stopping and staring at the cows grazing. When we reached the town, it was as if we traveled back in time and reached a medieval town. I have never seen such a picturesque town anywhere in my life. The pocket size town is so pretty overlooking the castle on one side and snow covered mountains on the other. Cute little souvenir shops, hotels and restaurants line this French speaking town. Our hotel was right in the middle of the main street and after a short rest and lunch, we walked to the 13th century Castle, Chateau de Gruyeres, one of the most prestigious in Switzerland. Ashu was in full form and enjoyed the tour but was a little upset that there were no Kings or Queens! The view from the Castle walls is breath-taking and theres a pretty little garden too. We took our time soaking in the views and walked back to the town center. We sat in a Restaurant Terrace and ate ice cream, the perfect thing to do on such a sunny day. I tried the town speciality, Ice cream with Meringue and Cream. Bliss! Theres a beautiful church behind the Castle and a small play area for kids. While Hd and Ashu were in the play area, I walked to the church clicking away photos. It was so peaceful inside the church and since it was almost 8 pm, there was no one inside. It was a surreal experience. There is a cemetery behind the church and a beautiful view of the castle and a narrow road leading to the woods. To stand there alone was so spooky. In a good way, of course. Father and daughter joined me a bit later and we walked back to our Hotel and called it a night.

Ever since I told her that we would visit a Cheese factory in Gruyeres, Ashu was super excited and was asking every hour if we were going to the Cheese Factory. So as soon as we finished breakfast, we checked out of the hotel and headed for the Cheese factory. (Oh, I almost forgot. Since Sunday was Mothers day, Ashu wished me Happy Mothers Day as soon as I got up and gave me a Mothers day special goodie bag from The Body Shop. Hd remembered after all! ;) We reached La Maison du Gruyère which is in Pringy, a 10 minute drive from Gruyeres. We took an audio tour where the cow(!), Cherry, explained us everything about Cheese making and what makes the Gruyeres cheese so special. We saw huge amounts of milk being churned and also the cellar where the cheese is stored. We got free samples too. Did you know it takes about 400 litres of milk to make 34 Kg of Cheese? That the Gruyeres cheese is so special because the cows there eat lot of herbs which grow on the hills? It was really cute to listen to Cherry talking! ;) It was lunch time by the end of the tour and we decided to try the restaurant adjoining the factory. We sat outside and ordered, what else, but Fondue of course! We dipped bread and potatoes in the melting cheese and gobbled them up thus justifying our trip to Gruyeres. The strawberry Frappe I had for dessert and the Vanilla ice cream Ashu had were also heavenly. Cherry has every reason to be proud of being a cow in the Gruyeres region! ;)

As if this is nt enough, we visited a Chocolate factory next. The Caillers Chocolate factory in Broc. Unlike the Lindt Factory in Zurich, you can actually see part of the chocolate making process and the tour is really good. Theres a 20 minute movie made in the 60s reliving the factory history, then a tour where you see the raw materials, the machines, the moulds, ... and at last, the sampling of course. Ashu had one piece in her mouth and one in her hand and was quite surprised when I asked her to take one more! I had three in my hands, you see! ;) When I was a kid, all I ever wanted to do was go to a chocolate factory and eat as much chocolate as possible. And here I was and could nt even eat two pieces! And Ashu of course, like kids of these generation, does nt know what a treat it is to eat two candies back to back or finish a whole bar of chocolate on ones own. Sad! I missed the child me.

We had plans to go to Moleson village from here but when we reached the place, it started raining. Ashu was also sleeping so we decided to head back to Zurich. One minute it was bright and sunny and the next, there was a hail storm! We were cruising around 100 kmph in the highway and it felt as if a truck load of pebbles were hitting the car. The noise, the storm, the speed, the zero visibility, cars stopping or slowing down,... it was scary to say the least. Luckily we were able to stop just under a bridge on the shoulder and most of the cars stopped in the shoulder too. I have never witnessed such a hailstorm before and it was hard to believe my own eyes. Some of the hails were as big as an ice cube! With Ashu sleeping through it all, Hd and I holding hands and talking and listening to music, it was surely an experience I ll never forget in my life. The storm lasted for 45 minutes and even then, the rain did nt stop. We headed for the nearest rest area for a break and reached Zurich safely late evening. A perfect weekend trip with just the three of us after a very long time.

Its so refreshing to see places with a kid, I have to admit. If it were just Hd and me, Im sure we would have just rushed through the sights, taken customary photos and would be in a hurry to go to the next place in our check list. But with Ashu, it was wonderful. She pretended she was a mouse and ran through the maze like garden at the Castle. She stopped to watch the cows grazing and worried about them when she saw the flies sitting on them. She actually stopped to smell the flowers. She looked at the old cannon at the castle and asked if it was a telescope! She asked who the bad boys were who had tied Jesus' hands when we went to the Church and wondered if his wounds healed fast! She asked if the cows eat the cheese! She exclaimed loudly, "Amma when I woke up today, we were in a hotel room and not in our Zurich house" in an absolutely cute way. She kept the cocoa bean as a souvenir when the chocolate factory guide gave her one and cherished it more than the free chocolate. ("Amma keep this cocoa bean. Don't eat it OK?", she warned me. Ah, how well my daughter knows her mother!) And she was so happy to be back home too. We were away hardly for 36 hours but I could see how much she missed home. Its good to know shes not ready to fly the nest. Yet.

Ashu attends a Party.

Last Sunday was a friends daughters Birthday. S also turned three a week after Ashu. Since S came to Ashus party, Ashu was all excited to attend S's party, cut cake, blow candles,... We were talking about the party all the time and she was in her excellent behaviour all through the week! But there was a slight catch. My friend had invited only kids to the party. Since shes a good friend of mine, she suggested I stay back if Ashu wants me to. So I was contemplating. Ashu has never attended a party or a play date without me and has never stayed in a friends house even for a couple of hours so far. But I wanted to try. We ve to begin somewhere and S's party seemed to be the right place to start since Ashu knows S and S's mom quite well. So I prepared her, telling her that the party was only for kids and I ll drop her and pick her up later. She did nt care as long as she went to the party. So on Sunday, we dropped her at 3 pm at S's house and had to linger for a while, waiting for another friend who was supposed to join us. Ashu ran to S's room, started playing with the toys there with the other kids and did nt even come to us once. Then after 30 mins, once the other friend arrived, I said bye to Ashu and we left.

Fast forward 2 hours and we went back to their place in time for cake cutting. Ashu came and hugged me and wanted to go to the bathroom. As soon as she sat on the seat, she started talking. "I played, I fell down from the chair, bit my tongue, Aunty gave sugar, I cried, I cried some more, I did nt eat Pizza, I ate cheese,..." and she said she had fun. Phew! That's one milestone crossed! Later, I cross checked with my friend and yes, she fell down, cried, ate sugar,... Not bad, huh? My little parrot can actually tell me about her day. I mean she tells me stuff about school too but I have to prod her and ask the right questions to get answers from her. No so this time. While our dear daughter was having fun, Hd and I hit a nearby mall, held hands while walking, window shopped, shared an ice cream cone and talked. All the while, I felt as if I had forgotten something. "Oh God, where is Ashu", my brain screamed involuntarily many times. I guess once you are a mother, theres no going back.

Confessions of a Fat Mommy.

I'm telling you first hand, being a fat mom is so much better than a fat single or a fat wife. Here's why.

1. For once, all the attention is on the kid. And even though its physically impossible, you can hide behind His/Her cuteness and disappear.

2. Being overweight is taken for granted after a child. People are going to be surprised only if you are thin.

3. You can take all your shopping frustrations and spend them with a vengeance on shopping for the kid. "Do you have this in a small size" - At last the question you always wanted to ask can be asked and you don't even have to lose a single pound!

4. As soon as you find out that the chic shop you just entered has nothing your size, you can slyly move to the children's section and actually buy something instead of coming out of the shop with an embarrassed expression and as if the whole worlds watching you.

5. And if you are big busted like me, you would have experienced the most annoying thing. Your boobs acting like a bib and trapping every crumb and morsel of what you are eating. (What? It never happens to you? Well, me neither. ;) And the chest area of your black top looks like a lint factory! Worry not. Here comes the kid to rescue. Blame it all on the kid "S/he cant even eat a biscuit without rubbing it all on me" statement works like a charm every time. Go on and try it.

6. If your kid is nt chubby and is all skeleton and bones, all the more good. A thin child is more worrisome for the aunties and uncles than a fat mom.

7. And nothing works like self-flagellation. "S/he is not eating anything. How much ever I try to fatten her up, I'm the one who is gaining weight. What am I to do?" will be duly met with "Don't worry. You need the energy to run behind a child and you ll lose the weight in no time". Bingo!

8. Unlike earlier, you don't have to spend so much time agonizing over what to wear for a party. People don't care about you as long as you are on time and have dressed up the kid in something cute! I mean, even your stained shirt can be blamed on the kid, right?

9. If you find yourself having exhausted all the above excuses, its time you get pregnant again!

10. And last but not least, think about this. If you are this fat in spite of taking care of a child 24/7 and spending so much energy, how much more overweight you would actually be without the kid? Scary, I know! ;)

*Off I go to give an extra hug to Ashu.*

Party time.

As always, the birthday just flew away before I could blink. First year was celebrated with all the hoopla, Second year was quiet with just the 3 of us and a visit to the zoo and this year, just some close friends who came home. With 14 adults and 6 kids, we all had our share of fun. We ordered Pizza. But I felt so guilty that I was nt making anything for my little girls birthday party that I ended up making Garlic Bread, Aloo Chole Chaat, Salad and Kulfi for dessert. And I just barely pulled it off as even this tired me out completely and I spent the whole day yesterday lying in bed! And of course, I totally forgot to take the huge bowl of salad out of the fridge for the party so ended up eating salad for breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner yesterday!! ;)

It was a colorful party as it did nt have a theme. Flowery "Happy Birthday" Banner and pink and white decorations. Colorful balloons. A few Dora decorations left over from last years party(the one my sister threw in the US). I also made Paper crowns for the kids. Since I had only white and blue sheets, the crowns were well.. blue and white! :) Ashu stamped the crowns with Mickey Mouse, Minnie,.. stamps in pink and blue colors because we had stamp pads only in those colors! I had bought some gift bags from the US which had beautiful illustrations of children's stories - Jack and the bean stalk, Goldilocks, etc... So those were used for return gift bags which contained a Mickey Mouse puzzle and a small bag with assortment of cookies and chocolates. I also printed out some coloring pages and tied the pages together to make it like a book and threw in a pack of Winnie the Pooh crayons as well which kept the kids occupied for like five whole minutes! ;) And most importantly, the cake. It was a chocolate cake with yellow frosting with animal fondants. Ashu asked for a crocodile, elephant, penguin, dog, cat and a lion. So they were there. The party could nt be any more uncoordinated!! (Do I pass, Kiran?)

Ashu wore a pretty pink frock which my in laws had given her last year. She was all excited about the party but when the guests started arriving and gave her the gifts, she refused to take it from them and turned her head and ran away. So I had to shamelessly accept gifts on her behalf! How much ever I pleaded her to, she did nt accept one gift! I don't understand this one! She was running around and playing with the kids but got really sleepy by 8 pm. Thankfully we wound up around 9.30. But of course, she was nt sleepy anymore as we were opening gifts. She has received loads of nice and interesting gifts. I always end up giving books or puzzles or clothes for the kids. So it was nice to see that there are actually interesting toys too! Like the Dora blocks, a small toy bath tub with pumping action and all(!!), clock, etc...

We had bought a laptop for Ashu in the US. I knew Ashu would like it but did nt know that she would fall in love with it! She saw one when we went to Sundars house last month and Junior generously shared hers with Ashu and she was hooked. That's when we decided to buy one for Ashus birthday. When we gave it to her yesterday afternoon, she was all teeth. She figured out the ABC game, some mouse game, tunes, etc... all by herself and started playing with it. Did nt keep it down even for minute. Then for the first time in her life, she asked for the laptop before going to sleep and hugged it to sleep!! She has never even hugged me to sleep, for crying out loud! All of yesterday, she was playing with it and I suspect shes *this* close to saying Google! Because she says things like "Amma, let me open my laptop and find out how to put these Dora blocks", "Amma, let me open my laptop and ask where my puzzle is", etc... And shes also avenging us for the torture we committed by not letting her touch our laptops for the past 3 years! She says "This is my laptop. Don't touch it!", "Im doing office work Appa. Don't talk to me", etc... Lets see how long this love lasts!

My sis and bil bought her the five disc DVD boxed set of the complete series of Planet Earth. We are half way through the first DVD and needless to say, its AMAZING. Ashu is talking about how the white wolf chased and hunted the baby caribou and ate it like a bad boy to anyone who would listen while Hd is wondering what a caribou is! I just read that the US version of this series is narrated by Sigourney Weaver. Thank God this DVD is not. I cant listen to anyone other than David Attenborough when it comes to these wildlife programmes. What a voice!

So thus ended another year. Sigh! And now she is 1,2,3 years old!

ps.
Thank you each and every one of you for the warm wishes you sent Ashu's way. Shes blessed to have all of you in her life.