So I'm 34 weeks pregnant and the d day is arriving fast. You know that far, don't you? This time around I'm more scared about the home front than the hospital front. I'm going to be in the hospital at least for 5 nights. That means, its just going to be Ashu and you at home. I'm sure if Ashu was old enough to understand the enormity of it, she would get herself admitted in the hospital bed next to mine. But the poor child does nt have a clue. Anyway, I dont want to be unfair. I can leave with absolutely no instructions and I know you can manage Ashu and the house just fine. Only not my way! After all, when have you ever "listened" to my instructions? But this time, Im writing them all down. Because, these are the little things which mean a lot to our baby girl. Her world is going to turn upside down in a month or so and for the first time in her life, her mom is going to be away in the night. So lets try to make this easier for her, shall we?
Here it goes...
1. I know that you know the breakfast routine, even a visually challenged person would know that by now, but let me go through it once more. She does nt want her milk as soon as she wakes up. Give her some time. And ever since she started drinking from that silver tumbler, theres this small routine you ve to follow. Pour half of the milk from the big plastic cup to the small tumbler. Only after she finishes every drop, should you pour again. But not all. You should leave a teeny bit of milk in the plastic cup so that she herself can pour that milk to her tumbler. Pour everything and she ll cry foul. Leave a lot and she ll complain that its too heavy for her to pour! And once shes done, she ll drop the plastic cup in the sink and keep the silver tumbler gently on the counter so that not to dent it. Yes, I taught her that. And she actually listens. And theres a lesson for you right there!
2. For your information, she cant drink milk, juice, eat a banana, an egg, toast, cereal,... all in the span of an hour. Unlike some people! *rolling eyes* So give a decent interval before asking her to eat the next thing.
3. Yes she can use the bathroom by herself when she wants to pee and would nt let us help. But sometimes when shes in a hurry, she will ask us to come and help her, afraid that she ll have an accident. That's your cue to throw the laptop and run to her. Unlike me, shes not saying that "just" to get your attention!
4. She loves bath time and has an elaborate routine with her bath toys. Its an honor if she invites you into her imaginary world of ocean animals. Indulge her. And she neatly puts the toys back in their place after her bath. So that's one job less for you. After the bath, she prostrates before Lord Krishna and sings along a short prayer. Then she puts some viboodhi on her forehead and expects you to bend down so that she can put some on your forehead too. Accept it. Even if you have nt had your bath yet.
5. Her school would be closed for summer soon. So no school routine to learn, you lucky sod!
6. Give her a notice period. Don't do anything abruptly. Tell her that that's the last book you are going to read before beginning it. She understands better that way. (Try this with me at your own risk, though!)
7. She will regularly remove the clothes of all her dolls and nag you to no end to dress them up again. Its an easy thing even you can do it! Except for one doll. That doll has to be dressed in an order. Panties first, dress next and then the shoes. But leave the Velcro strap of the dress undone. She ll do it herself. Do it any other way and be ready to face her wrath. Hey don't look at me! Her doll, her rules!
8. When in doubt, ask her. No shame in it! Even if you want to know where the "pottu kadalai" (fried gram dal) is. Yes, she knows.
9. She knows her outdoor clothes from her indoor ones. Don't try to mix and match. She knows I hate that! So should you. And I ll find out too when you guys visit me in the hospital. Duh!
10. And last but not least, don't you dare call me while I'm the hospital and ask where the Mustard seeds are or where Ashus hat is. That's the worst thing you could do.
I ll stop here although the list could go on. I know you would rather be by my side and leave her with a friend knowing how you held my hands while I was delivering the placenta instead of taking pictures of Ashu soon after she was born. But I would be more at peace if you were with her than me. Of course, my mom is coming in a month and all these are just in case I go into labor before she arrives. But if its later, then you better get your behind to the hospital and take care of this baby. Instructions to take care of me will come to you automatically once you go through the familiar pain of me squeezing your fingers to pulp.
B o o.