Musical Bed.

Since we now live in a bigger place, we moved Antus crib to another room. So she has her own room now. So does Ashu. And to think I have never had my own room all my life. We have always lived in teeny tiny places and even my parents did nt have any privacy let alone us daughters. In college, shared room with as much as ten girls at one point of time. And of course once we women get married, we share our rooms with the resident gorillas! The end.

Anyway, this one room for each is nt working out too well in our current situation. Take last night. Ashu and Antu were sleeping in their respective rooms. Around midnight, Hd got up to take Ashu to the loo. Then she would nt let go of him, so he slept on a mattress on the floor in her room. A while later, Antu got up. Hd woke up, picked her up and put her near me and I fed her and went back to sleep. Hd also went to sleep in our bed. Around 3 am, Hd got up and took Ashu to the loo. I got up and put Antu back in her crib in her room. I came back to our room. He slept in Ashus room. Then at 6 am, Ashu came and lied down next to me. Antu got up and I brought her to me. Then Ashu went and switched on the light in her room and an annoyed Hd came to our room to sleep longer since it was a Sunday. But Antu began to cry. I changed Antus diaper and put her in the crib in her room with some toys. Ashu was shuttling between her room and Antus and playing. Hd and I caught some 15 mins of sleep before we had to get up. Phew.

I so want to spread a Bhavani Jamakkalam* in the hall and go to sleep with all of us close together. It ll solve so many issues. Ashu can wet the jamakkalam by all means. A jamakkalam is nt a jamakkalam if it has nt been slept on by bed wetting kids. There's no danger of Antu rolling over and falling down. Hd does nt have to get up to take Ashu to the bathroom. Antu sleeps through the night when she co sleeps with us so I don't have to get up either. A win-win on all accounts. Our grand parents were nt exactly the dumb sorts now, were they? And here I am reading Ferber and buying Ikea kiddie furniture. Sorry Thatha. Thappu dhaan.

*a popular brand of bed sheet in Tamil Nadu

Mine! Mine! Mine!

So here we are. The much dreaded phase(which will last all my lifetime) is already here. Antu crawling and showing interest in Ashus toys and Ashu screaming "Shes touching my stuff, MOM"!! Sigh! Ignoring all the rattles, board books and noisy toys, Antu goes for the very ones Ashu is playing with, the little devil. "Share Ashu" is answered with "But shes chewing on them Amma and making them dirty. Its yuck! She can chew only her rattles. Not my stuff". Now how can I argue with that? And yesterday I caught her lecturing Antu. "Look baby. You can chew the rattles. But not this elephant toy. Because it has wheels and it runs on the floor and if you chew on it, the dirt from the wheels will get into your tummy and it will hurt"! I swear she said all that. Today Ashu and I were playing Snakes and Ladders in her room. Antu was on the floor nearby and there were only a million things near her. But she came to us, plonked right in the middle of the board and tried to take the dice away. Ashu who was already pretty pissed off that I was ahead of her in the game chose the moment to move her coin a few places ahead when we rearranged the board! Not one dull moment in this house, I tell ya.

About favorite girls, new house and Ikea.

Boo : Ashu, you are my favorite girl!
Ashu : (smiles)
Boo : Who is your favorite girl, Ashu?
Ashu : Antu is my favorite girl, Amma.
Boo- Wow, thats nice. Who is Appas favorite girl?
Ashu - You, Amma!
Boo - (preens)

On that note, we are settling down in the new house in a very slow and a very steady phase. I think by 2010 I should ve emptied all the cartons! It was no fun when Hd could nt find his razor and we had to go through 20 odd boxes to find it. (and it was sitting in bathroom all along, the sneaky little thing!) My back is permanently bent these days. The only saving grace is the school run. Its a 10 mins scenic drive to Ashus school as opposed to the 45 mins horror route before. That's the reason we moved, by the way.

More later. Since we have so much stuff, we are off to Ikea to buy more stuff so that we can keep all the old stuff we have in the new stuff we buy. Makes sense?

Moving.

Last day in this house. The movers will be here at 9 am tomorrow. This time tomorrow, we would be sleeping at the new place. Sigh. Two years of our lives packed in boxes and bags. I was on my feet all day today packing. Phew. Why do we have so much stuff? Whats the point? As my sister had warned me, kitchen is the worst room. Shes sure a wise one! Packing away the kitchen stuff seemed like a never ending job. Even now, I'm waiting for the dishwasher to stop so that I can pack away the rest of the crockery. If only we did nt have a stomach to be fed. Life would be so much better and simpler. Indha oru jaan vayaru irukke...

Will surely miss this little flat. The awesome view of the city from the living room window. The fabulous typical Swiss view from the other side of the living room. Snowy mountains, a farm with cows with bells, horses, apple trees,... The small kindergarten below and how Ashu watches the kids play. How she spots the horses and cows and the rare fox that makes an appearance and squeals with delight. How I go to the balcony and look down to see if the car is parked and Hd has arrived home, the full moon nights where we switch off all the lights, cuddle in the sofa together and watch the moon rise while I hum "chandni raatein"...

This was Antus first home. Bye, bye Schulstrasse. You ll always be fondly remembered.

Hoping to get well soon.

So much to write but the entire household is down with the flu. It all started on Friday afternoon when Ashu threw up her lunch and started burning up with fever. She was worse on Saturday and we could nt even move out the house. On the same night, I started shivering with high fever and it was horrible. On Sunday, Antu fell sick and did nt sleep the whole night. Hd started popping pills afraid he ll be next. On Monday morning Ashu felt a little better and absolutely wanted to go to school (first day after the winter break) and Hd dropped and picked her up. While Antu and I slept the whole time. But I guess sending her to school was a bad decision as the fever came back and she had a nasty cough too. Rushed to the Doctor in the evening with the both the kids. As always, the Doctor did nt give any meds for Ashu. Asked to continue the inhaler for her and gave Antu Paracetamol after confirming with a blood test that it was indeed viral. Ashus whining was an all time high, Antu was in pain, I was tired and Hd could nt even attend an important phone call because Ashu decided to throw up just when I put her to bed! Oh man! Awful. Hd was the pillar of strength, poor thing. Cooking and cleaning and taking care of sickies but I could see he was losing it. Thankfully we are a little better today and he could go to office. Or you would ve read about us in today's headlines. "Husbands kills wife, kids and dies a slow and painful death by accidentally shooting himself in his toe instead of his head". What? You think I would want a quick and easy one for him after he does off me and my babies?

Wanted to write about my first ever blog meet(yay!) and so much stuff about our India trip. Will do so soon. Meanwhile, you can read about the blog meet here, here and here.

Anniyan becomes Ambi!

We are back, Folks! And this happened on the last day of our India trip. :(

Where Did 2008 Go?

So we landed in Madras on 12th safe and sound. The girls were awesome in the flight. Antu was happy as long as she was glued to my chest, so all was well. The only time she cried was because the pillow I kept under her head came away and she bumped her head in the arm rest. Of course I let my dad believe that she was cranky. Was afraid he would push me from the plane if he knew I hurt her. The Qatar airways has some funny baby bassinets. It was so high that you have to throw the baby like a basketball for her to land on the bassinet!! There was no gap to even stand let alone with a baby. But the service was great and the staff were good. Spent a few days in Madras and then left for my parents place. My mom had arranged for a Thottil(cradle) ceremony for Antu just like the one we had for Ashu some 3 years back. I felt so nostalgic and choked back tears looking at such a grown up Ashu now. Then of course my dad had to give Ashu a PUPPY! She went ballistic and would nt come down at all and was with the Puppy 24/7 in the terrace. Theres nothing like seeing a little girl with a puppy, I tell ya. Such sweet creatures they make together. Then her neighborhood friends landed one by one and now after a week, I don't see her most of the day. She goes to their houses to play. I have nt seen their houses or met the kids parents! And to think that I have to go back to Zurich and "arrange" play dates for Ashu. Sigh!

Antu - Well, where do I begin? Shes growing up fast. Has a ready smile for everyone. Her smile is so catchy. Feels like seeing a flower bloom when she smiles. Poor thing though. Handling all the changes, mosquito bites, etc... like a pro and feeding and sleeping... Sometimes I get the feeling that shes minding her own business! Go figure. Happy 6 Months, Darling!

Hd arrives here tomorrow and we girls are eagerly looking forward. Then a week more in Madras and off we go back to Zurich. So see you all from there. Wishing everyone a Super Duper New Year. Good bye, 2008. You were very, very special! :)

We are going to India.

So we are leaving for India tomorrow. Hd joins us 2 weeks later. TWO WEEKS. Of no kids. Of no spouse. sigh! I am so jealous. I ve never been so jealous in my life! Hereby I declare that as soon as I wean Antu, Im taking off. At least for a weekend. Im telling this here because if I don't, please come back and beat me. With a chappal.

Leaving you with a photo.

Antu - So you really think Amma will leave us and go?

Ashu - She might. But just hold onto your chappal nevertheless.

Car conversations.

Ashu and I were in the car. Coming back from school. She was sleepy and started saying incoherent stuff like "I want Appa now. Why did nt you bring Antu to school? Where is Thatha?", etc... and was on the verge of bursting into tears and going to sleep. So to save the drama, I was trying to distract her.

Me - Look Ashu. I got a cut in my finger.

Ashu - A cut? Where?

Me - In my right index finger. Look. (Stretching my fingers to the back and showing her thinking it would ve been fun if it was the middle finger instead!)

Ashu - How did you get the owie, Amma?

Me - I was grating carrots and by accident, my finger rubbed against the grater and it got cut. It hurts, you know.

Ashu - (Making a sad face) But why did you grate your finger?

Me - It was an accident, Ashu.

Ashu - If it hurts, you should nt drive the car Amma.

Me - Its OK, Ashu. Its only in my finger. If I get hurt in my palm or hands, then I won't be able to drive. But now its OK.

Ashu - So who ll pick me up from school?

Me - What?

Ashu - If you get hurt in your hand and can't drive when I am in school, who will come to pick me up?

Me - !!!!!!

I should just put the quote "that that person, their their worry" in my blog header next to a photo of Ashu.

Mumbai.

I'm shaking with rage. I'm worried about people who I have not even met and only know them through their words. I am scared. I feel helpless. Watching the news only makes me more angry. "Terror strikes cricket"! Terror strikes cricket??? For Gods sake!

Stay safe, people. I know its tough. But that's all I'm able to say because I really want everyone to be safe.

Imai Irandum thani thani...

So Hd is away again. For two weeks this time. So like any self respecting girl, I cried and went running to "daddy" and my dad caught the next flight and arrived! :) Not exactly. But his visa was still valid and there were other stuff to consider, so he decided to come. This is the man who thinks twice before traveling to Madras from his home town and poor guy had to do two trips to Zurich in a short time all because his daughter asked him to. (More like son-in-law asked him to but I am not complaining!) Anyway, this post is not about that. I remember doing a post almost 2 years back - Sappy Me on how I discover some new song whenever Hd is away and repeat it to death. I swear I was nt even looking this time. So watched Vaaranam Aayiram last weekend and one song caught my attention and at last had some time to find the song on the net and listen to it yesterday. And what a song! Oh man, totally fell in love with it. It has been on indefinite loop fot the past 48 hours.(and this time totally annoying my dad!) Its on the background while Im typing this very post. I had the song on repeat even in the car today while I went to pick up Ashu from school. Anal mela pani thuli... Sung superbly by carnatic singer Sudha Raghunathan(although I feel guilty enjoying this song without the usual Bombay Jayashree.) and mind blowing lyrics by Thamarai. The lyrics are absolutely wonderful, I tell you. A woman in love, in pain, in want,... Sigh! And such a haunting music too. Now I cant wait for Hubby to come back and hear the song with me. So glad that the romance has nt withered and died. Yet.

Listen to it here.

anal mele pani thuli alai paayum oru kili
maram thedum mazhai thuli ivai dhaane ival ini
imai irandum thani thani urakkangal urai pani
edharkaaga thadai ini

endha kaatrin alaavalil malar ithazhgal virindhidumo
endha dheva vinaadiyil mana araigal thirandhidumo
oru siru vali irundhadhuve idhayathile idhayathile
unathiru vizhi thadaviyathaal amizhndhuvitten mayakkathile
udhirattume udalin thirai adhu thaan ini nilaavin karai karai

anal mele...

sandhithome kanaakkalil sila murayaa pala murayaa
andhi vaanil ulaavinom adhu unakku ninaivillaiyaa
iru tharaigalai udaithidave perugidu vaa kadal alaye
iru iru uyir thathalikkayil vazhi sollu vaa kalangaraye
unathalaigal enai adikka karai servathum kanaavil nigazhndhida

anal mele...

Thanks to Thamarai, we get to hear gems like these where a women sings about her desires. Have you ever wondered how few and far between they are? Did it all start with Vaseegara? From the top of your head, tell me the song which comes to your mind first. Anything in Hindi?

ps.
Sorry non Tamil folks. Theres no way I can translate this precious song in English even if I try. Any volunteers?

Vaaranam Aayiram.

If I want to see just excellent acting, I ll stay home and watch my 3 year old all day long. I don't go for a movie ONLY to watch excellent acting. I expect a good movie. But Vaaranam Aayiram is nt one. I don't know how to explain it though. I mean each scene on its own was good but they did nt add anything to the movie. Take the songs and dance away. Take the action scenes away. Take one of the romance angle away. What do you have? Nothing. Agreed that in real life, nothing makes sense so what can we expect from a story about a father and son and passage of time? I think it was nt interestingly shown. That's all. It was long and boring. I read some news today that Gautham has trimmed the movie and the kidnap scenes have been totally cut off. What the hell! So people who watched the movie in the first couple of days are idiots? Guinea pigs? This ain't fair, Mr. Menon.

Now for some thoughts:

So what else is new? Surya is awesome. And he proves it again and again.

Simran is good. Sameera Reddy is OK. Ramya is bad. I never liked Jyotika before. But after watching these two new heroines, I ve new found respect for Jo.

The supporting cast is excellent.

I think the word "daddy" has been used like a million times in this movie. Annoying! And the Guinness award goes to...

I had gone for this movie along with my Dad. He did nt like the movie either. For the record, I call him Appa. Never "daddy"! And the "daddy" of my two little girls sat at home while we went for a late night show. At least he can say he got a good night sleep.

I had not listened to the songs before. They were good. Loved the choreography. Surya has come a long way in the dance department, has nt he? Nice moves.

Surya does nt need a six pack for me to drool at him. All I can do at guys who go "Look at me! Look at me! I have a six pack" is *yawn*.

Needless to say, there were kids in the theatre (for a 11.30 pm show!) and the 5 year old boy behind me kept kicking my seat, pulling my hair and what not. And during one of the graphic drug scenes, he loudly asked his parents, "andha uncle ku pei pidichiduchaa"! (Is the uncle possessed by a spirit?)

Came out of the movie and while paying at the parking meter, the machine gave me an extra 10 cents. As if to mock me. Indha padatha paathu 10 paisa prayojanam unda? (Is the movie even worth 10 cents?) Hmpf!

I hope they don't trim the movie when my sis watches it next weekend. Yaan petra inbam... And she owes me one for Dasavatharam.

Two days at a time.

So Hd went out of the country on Sunday. For 2 days and 2 nights. Leaving me with 2 kids. I survived. The school run was the tough thing but otherwise things were pretty cool. So here's how it went.

Sunday

6.30 pm - Hd left.

Then I rock Antu to sleep. Feed Ashu dinner.

7.30 pm - Antu wakes up. I change her diaper, feed her lying on the bed. Ashu lies beside me. Antu goes to sleep and I put her in the crib.

8.15 pm - I give Ashu some laptop time and eat my dinner.

8.30 pm - I brush Ashus teeth, help her clean up her room and read her bed time stories.

9.15 pm - I lie down on the floor on a mattress while she goes to sleep on her bed.

9.30 pm - Shes asleep. I leave the room. Hubby calls. I do the dishes, clean the kitchen, brush my teeth and channel surf.

10.00 pm - The movie Transporter. I'm hooked. I watch. (I am a sucker for car chases.)

11.00 pm - Very sleepy. I record the rest of the movie and go to sleep.

Monday

1.55 am - Antu wakes up. I put her beside me and continue my sleep while she feeds.

3.50 am - Antu wakes up again. Since shes beside me already, she feeds again. I continue sleeping.

5.45 am - Ashu wakes up. Comes to our room and lies down near me. I continue sleeping.

6.30 am - Alarm goes off and I get up like a spring.

6. 30 to 8.15 am - Ashu drinks her milk, I drink my tea, I change Antus diaper, I pack lunch for Ashu, dress her up, dress Antu up, I dress up. Ashu eats cereal, I feed Antu and we are out of the door at 8.10 and in the car at 8.15.

8.45 am - I drop Ashu at school and get back home at 9.30 am. (traffic) Antu sleeps on the trip back.

9.45 am - I eat breakfast.

10 00 am - I feed antu.

10 to 11 am - I change diaper, I make lunch, talk to my parents on the phone and check mails.

11.15 am - I change diaper and feed Antu.

11.45 am - I eat my salad and get Antu ready in the car seat.

12.00 noon - We are out of the door.

12.25 pm - Reach school and pick up Ashu.

1.00 pm- Reach home. Both are sleeping. I wake Ashu up and she cries all the way to the 10th floor.

1.20 pm - Feed Antu. Feed Ashu lunch. I eat lunch.

2.30 pm - Antu goes to sleep. I clean up after lunch while Ashu lies down on the sofa licking a lollipop.

2.30 to 5.30 - Read books for Ashu. Change diaper for Antu. Feed Antu. Give snack for Ashu. Blog surf. Check mails. Run Ashu a bath. Feed. change. Make tea.

Because of the interrupted sleep all day long, Antu goes to deep sleep at 5 pm.

6.00 to 7.30 pm - Long phone call with my sis while Ashu is goofing around.(blowing raspberries and spraying every inch of the living room!) Then I prepare to make some dinner for myself. I feed Ashu her dinner. Brush her teeth and ask her to pick the books while I eat my dinner since Im starving.

8.00 pm - I'm hogging on the tortilla wraps while Ashu calls me. I ask her to wait until I finish my dinner. When I go to check on her 5 minutes later, shes snoring! Bliss.

9 00 pm - I wake Antu up, change her diaper and feed her. She goes to sleep. I catch up with Internet and doze off by 10.00 pm.

Tuesday

2.00 am - Antu wakes up...

Repeattu.

Thoughts

Its doable as long as none of us fall sick.

Ashu is in her perfect behaviour if its only me she has to deal with it.

Its enough if I talk to Ashu, tell her a story, read her a book or play with her. TV, Laptop, Chocolates, Candies and Lollipops mean NOTHING to her if she finds out that they are bribes and not treats. I learnt this lesson the hard way.

Antu is a doll. As long as her input and output are taken care of, shes one happy camper.

At 7 pm on Monday, Ashu had a meltdown and said "I want Appa NOW. I want my Appa" and 2 seconds later, Hd called. Freaked me out.

Going out for groceries or to a park would ve been a lot harder. If push comes to shove, I would do that too but its tough.

The trick is to eat BEFORE Im hungry. Feed Antu and Ashu BEFORE they get hungry. God save us if we all get hungry at the same time.

I did nt ve a minute to miss Hd.

I also have a strong suspicion that when a couple stay together in a loveless marriage for the kids' sake, it actually means "to share the burden of taking care of the kids".

5 pm to 7 pm is the craziest. If I ever kill myself, it would be precisely at 6.55 pm.

The second half of The Transporter sucked. Big time.

If you were me you would ve noticed that I did nt include taking a shower in the list. Thank God Hd was gone only for 2 days! And long live deos and perfumes.

Ashu feels alone.

Ashu has forgotten that she has a room and there are a million stuff in there for her to play with. I don't remember the last time she was in the room doing something on her own. Its rush, rush in the morning and she leaves for school. Comes back, has lunch and takes a nap on some days and skips on others. Then its snack time. Then an early dinner and goes to sleep. In between these, she is with Antu ALL the time. When I'm feeding Antu, shes lying down next to me. When I'm cooking, she lies down next to Antu in the play mat. Or sits next to the Bouncer and rocks her or talks to her or sings to her or tells her something. Talks to her in a gibberish language. Talks to me and tells me stuff Antu is doing. When I'm changing Antu, helps me by handing over a fresh diaper. And she talks. ALL the time. Questions, doubts, observations and imagination rule her life. Even when I remind her that she can do puzzles or play with her dolls or read(see) a book, she reluctantly brings them to the living room and half-heartedly does something for a few minutes and goes back to Antu. Its like her life revolves around Antu.I don't know what to make of it. I hope its just a phase because I feel sorry for the poor child. Shes absolutely aching for company. She is having a whale of a time during play dates with her class mates or when we go to a friends house who have kids too. But we are not able to do it on a regular basis. I think shes craving for kids her own age. Today she told me, "Lets call S home, Amma. I ll play with her and share all my toys with her." Broke my heart. So what do you parents do? Not many kids in this apartment of her age. Its getting too dark and too cold by 5 pm these days. Our friends don't live near us. Her school friends live too far away. I feel as if Ashu cant wait for Antu to grow up. Sigh! I should have had Antu first.

Food Allergy Awareness.

Tharini of Winkies Ways has started a Food Allergy Awareness Month. She has kick started the posts with her first post here and Sujatha of blogpourri has shared a wonderful and informative post in her blog. Theres more to come from Tharini and quite a few other bloggers as well. Also, check out Tharinis post on the difference between Food Allergy and Food Intolerance.

If you have done a post on Childhood Allergies in your blog in the past, please pass on the link in the comment space or by email. Or if you have any information to share, please do a post and leave the link here. I ll be doing a final round up of all related posts in the month end at IndianMommies, so do check it out. Lets all come together for this good cause and spread the awareness. Thanks in advance.

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried”.

When I got up today morning I got this insane idea to make Aloo Parathas for lunch. Yes, thats what I think about as soon as I wake up. Food. Actually, thats why I wake up these days. To eat. Otherwise, I will happily lay in bed all day long feeding Antu who does nt seem to have heard the famous Tamil proverb "Alavodu undu, valamodu vaazhanum" and is ALWAYS attached to my boob! Anyway, so I tell my idea aloud. Hd who is usually kicked up when I announce such things, snickers and asks, "But why?" I shush him up, finish the breakfast routine and attack the dough with vengeance. With the dough ready, I boil the potatoes and make the stuffing. I try to remember when I made Aloo paratha the last time. Circa 2001 I guess. And it was a disaster. But this time I am prepared. I ve seen the video a dozen times, read up the recipe hundred times and between then and now, I ve practiced making chapathis. About 5 times in these 8 years. So Im good, right? Like hell!

So I rolled out the dough, kept the ball of stuffing inside, closed it up on all sides and started rolling. Gently. The stuffing ran helter skelter, left the dough, bunched up at the edges, stuck to the rolling pin and on the counter. I took a long breath and rolled the second ball. But by now, the warning has been passed to the other balls about the hot frying pan situation and I swear that the stuffing stuck to the rolling pin and cried for help! And not to mention, the supposed to be round parathas looked like India map. With the stuffing bordering like Pakistan and Bangladesh. I was so upset. I screamed and shouted at Hd and startled the father daughter duo who were doing some project(play doh to mock me perhaps?) in Ashus room. "What happened Amma", asked Ashu very concerned. "These stup... I mean these silly parathas are nt coming out properly Ashu. My parathas suck!" "Its OK amma. Its OK. Don't be sad. Can I have some chapathi maavu to eat please?", she asked. Gave her some happily and asked Hd to look into the situation. "Why don't you mix up the stuffing and the dough and roll out? Its all the same, right?", asked Hd. "Why dont you eat some coffee powder and then drink the milk? Its all the same right?", I quipped. "Do whatever you want. It was nt my idea to make parathas", Hd barked and went away. Ashu swiped a little more chapathi dough and went away too. I shed some tears to make up for the less salt and finished rolling India maps with borders all the while muttering, "I'm smart. I should be able to make parathas. Why the hell cant I make some stupid parathas? I'm such a good cook and I cant even make these damn parathas. I can never start a food blog, I cant even make chapathis let alone parathas. I suck. I must be really stupid. May be theres a secret ingredient and no ones telling me. Yes, that must be it", I decided and finished frying the parathas. To leave no evidence, we ate all up. They were tasty yes but I would never serve it to anyone. They looked ghastly! I could ve taken some pictures and showed you guys. But I was afraid you all will judge me on what kind of mom I am. Who cant make parathas! And thats the reason I did nt tell you guys about the time I dropped the iPod on Antus head while feeding her. Oops!

This Diwali.

Inspired by YY, I managed to make this. Came out pretty good. Diwali Bakshanam under 10 minutes! Whowuddathunkit! Had people over for dinner tonight. In between nursing Antu and feeding Ashu and all the cooking and cleaning and making the kids sleep - hardly spoke two words with the guests. Whats the point, I ask! And Diwali on a Monday. Sigh! Ashu has a bad cold so dont know if she ll be going to school tomorrow. If only Hd can take off from work tomorrow, we all can sleep the day off! Whats Diwali without all the noise of bursting crackers anyway! Diwali used to be all about the "pudhu dress" back then. The charm is gone now since every shopping spree is about clothes these days! But the poor dad of mine bought all of us diwali clothes when he arrived last month. A pink(!) Tee shirt for Hd, some funky outfits for Ashu, a double XL(ahem!) salwar for me and some cute frocks for Antu. So gotta make do and pretend as if its a special day for Ashus sake. After all, first Diwali for Antu too. Since we were in India then, Ashus first was a blast! Poor Antu! Us second borns are always neglected. Anyway, Happy Deepavali, Folks! You have a good one.

Finally, we are now Four.

So dad left on Friday. The husband was travelling on work so I had to go to the airport to drop dad dragging the two kids along. I hate coming back to an empty house and was cursing Hd to hell and back ever since he told that he was travelling. Anyway, Friday morning - Ashu started getting upset. I had a lump in my throat and was controlling myself from bursting into tears. My dad was distracting himself doing the last minute things and Antu was blissfully smiling and cooing. Around noon, we got ready to leave. Ashu would nt wear her shoes or her jacket and started crying. "Let Thatha be here only, Ma. Don't go back to India, Thatha. Stay here and play with me ALL the time, Thatha", she kept repeating. I tried to explain to her that hes going back to his house, that his tickets are "finished", the police wont allow him to stay and all the crap but she would nt buy any of that. "What do you want to do, Ashu? Tell me. He has to go, OK?", I said very much annoyed. "I don't know what to do, Ma. But I don't want him to go", she replied equally annoyed. I just picked her shoes and jacket and went out of the house carrying Antu in her car seat. Ashu followed with tears and my dad picked her up and tried to explain. But she started sobbing again. "I understand you are upset , Ashu. I'm upset too. Its OK. You ll be OK soon. Wear your shoes now", I said. She cried even harder. "Do you want a lollipop, Ashu?" I asked. She nodded yes. "Then wear your shoes", I said and strapped her in the car. She was licking the lollipop happily and we reached the airport, checked in, left my dad at the gate, waved him goodbye, came back to the car, settled in and came back home. To an empty home. Now, wheres my lollipop? :(

Just Shoot Me.

A valuable advice for parents of single child who are planning to have a second one.

Keep talking in hushed tones,
Never raise your voice.
Even better, do NOT introduce talking to your child at all. You can do it once the second one comes along. Whats the hurry anyway?

OK, now for the reason.
I was feeding Antu in our bedroom with the door shut. After a loooooooong session, she was just about to doze off. I knew she would sleep at least for two hours and I was already planning which chore to finish first once she slept off. (Doing the dishes or folding the laundry - which is less mind numbing? Hmm... That a toughie!) Exactly then, Ashu opens the door with a bang and screams "Look Mommy!" and scares the bejeezes out of Antu. And Antu does three things at the same time - Bites me HARD, lets out an ear piercing scream and starts suckling again. All for what? To show some stupid blocks. If only I had nt given birth to this specimen! I managed a "Good job, Ashu. Now shut the door and go back to your room and play. Amma will come in a few minutes" with a fake smile while what I really really wanted to do was wring her neck and tell her, "Big deal! So you know how to build blocks! Now get out!"

On that note, is there anything more tortureous than an almost asleep baby waking up?

ps.
For others - do not have a second one. Or the first.

Just Tired.

No time to blog since my mom left. Not that I could nt squeeze some time to type but I just could nt gather my thoughts. Felt like my brain was cluttered.

So my dad arrived a week before my mom left. And hes leaving back to India in 10 days. When he came home from the airport, Ashu was thrilled. She held his hand and took him to our bedroom and showed him a sleeping Antu all excitedly. My dad told us later that he thought that Ashu was going to show him a toy or something and he had totally FORGOTTEN that Antu existed. He did nt ask about Antu to Hd from the airport till home. Since my sis was here that time, we all reminded Dad to be nice to Antu as well and not to spend every minute with just Ashu, the love of his life! And what has happened now? Hes spending every minute with ANTU!! She quietens down immediately if my dad picks her up, goes to sleep faster if he rocks her, saves her best smiles and giggles for him, ... and hes in love. Again.

Is nt it ironic that the man I feared when I was a child is now telling my child, "I cant give you candy. Your mom will scold me"! Revenge is oh so sweet! ;)

Ashus school is going well. We just drop her off at the gate from our car and she goes in with a teacher. So cool. But shes very unpredictable at home. One day, she ll skip to school and another day, she ll refuse to go to school. But thats just a regular kid for you.

Antu is 3 months old and is doing fine. She almost rolled over today. She just has to pull her hand out and she ll be there. My dad, Ashu and I stood around her and cheered, clapped and video taped and made a merry celebration when she was attempting to roll over today. I became misty eyed and all! But then, damn the hormones, Im getting misty eyed even while peeling potatoes. The poor, poor potatoes! *bawl*

The fun things apart, do you know whats the best time of the day for me? When both the kids are sleeping. Its just so exhausting spending every minute with them and for them. Hds job is not so hectic, Ashu goes to school for half a day and shes mostly good when shes home, Antu sleeps and feeds like a dream and to top it all, my dads here to give me a hand whenever I want. And still, its EXHAUSTING. After Ashu goes to school and its just Antu, I think "This is doable. I just have to feed, change and make her sleep. This is nt so bad". And when Antu is asleep or with my dad or Hd and Im reading a book with Ashu, Im like "Its fun to be with Ashu and do things. Why was I feeling so exhausted with just her before Antu?" But put the said infant and the child together and I go mad. To quote one of my favorite bloggers, "Adhi Bayangaramulu"!!