Check out what the Indian Mommies are upto at indianmommies.blogspot.com

November 06, 2008

Ashu feels alone.

Ashu has forgotten that she has a room and there are a million stuff in there for her to play with. I don't remember the last time she was in the room doing something on her own. Its rush, rush in the morning and she leaves for school. Comes back, has lunch and takes a nap on some days and skips on others. Then its snack time. Then an early dinner and goes to sleep. In between these, she is with Antu ALL the time. When I'm feeding Antu, shes lying down next to me. When I'm cooking, she lies down next to Antu in the play mat. Or sits next to the Bouncer and rocks her or talks to her or sings to her or tells her something. Talks to her in a gibberish language. Talks to me and tells me stuff Antu is doing. When I'm changing Antu, helps me by handing over a fresh diaper. And she talks. ALL the time. Questions, doubts, observations and imagination rule her life. Even when I remind her that she can do puzzles or play with her dolls or read(see) a book, she reluctantly brings them to the living room and half-heartedly does something for a few minutes and goes back to Antu. Its like her life revolves around Antu.I don't know what to make of it. I hope its just a phase because I feel sorry for the poor child. Shes absolutely aching for company. She is having a whale of a time during play dates with her class mates or when we go to a friends house who have kids too. But we are not able to do it on a regular basis. I think shes craving for kids her own age. Today she told me, "Lets call S home, Amma. I ll play with her and share all my toys with her." Broke my heart. So what do you parents do? Not many kids in this apartment of her age. Its getting too dark and too cold by 5 pm these days. Our friends don't live near us. Her school friends live too far away. I feel as if Ashu cant wait for Antu to grow up. Sigh! I should have had Antu first.

29 comments:

Me said...

Have you posted this photo before? Looks very familiar

yaadayaada said...

Breaks my heart! Why do you post such things!! Poor Ashu!! Let me start looking for tickets!!

Artnavy said...

Maybe you shld move apts and come over to mine or anywhere in India??
so many kids of so many age bands

anyway i am sure she enjoys playing with Antu and it is better than playing with only Boo?

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should try full day school for her so she gets to spend more time with other kids if she is getting bored at home. I see this with my daughters too. They just can't stay home for more than half a day at a stretch. With Anju, I used to think that it was because she started day care at 6 months, but very soon after Aparna I realized that it is just their age. They just like being with other kids playing be it school or park (and also they take up after their parents a bit in our case). It is good that Ashu is spending her time with Antu. Antu might not play with her now, but very soon that will change. :)

Anonymous said...

oops, I forgot to put my name in the comment before.

-San

B o o said...

Me - Yes. Used this photo before too in one of her updates. You ve one heck of a memory dude! :)

YY - Can you bring Chula and Mieja with you? ;)

Art - On the works, babe! :D

San - Thinking about full day. May be from the next term. And you re right. Hd is like that. Cant sit at home at all. Me? Someone has to drag me out of the house!

inbavalli said...

I posted a comment earlier but Wordpress ate it up :( Well, I said being with Antu and talking with you is as much fun and a learning experience for Ashu as doing puzzles or paying with friends. So you don't need to worry, me thinks. She gets to hone her communication and interaction skills apart from bond with Antu. Afterall, she does get to be with peers at school.

Do put up a pic of Antu. Romba naal aachchu :)

Rohini said...

Awwww.... poor baby. I feel the same way. I feel Ayaan is now at an age where he needs company. Even if we go the park and none of his friends are there, he gets bored and wants to leave. :(

sansmerci said...

awwww ... thts sad.. but i think u shud b happy that shes gettin along so well n lovin her sibling .. its nice to have a friend at home :)

Noodlehead said...

awww, the poor baby! bringing BB over won't help much, she's still too little.

btw, i know what u mean about ashu. BB's just the same. she'll keep looking at kids and pictures of kids. if we see kids when we're out she immediatley goes to hem and says hi. it breaks my heart too. that's why i've been considering a second baby these days, unfortunately that will take at least 9 months :(

Anonymous said...

I felt sorry for Ashu from the post. But couldnt help smiling when I read the last line "Should have had Antu first ", Indeed !

-dk

Reva said...

Would joining some paatu class, dance class etc help? ie.. if there's something near ur place. That way she also gets to learn something new.

That last line is so Boo'ish! very funny :)

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

Boo ... why don't you try some recreational classes ... may be parent and child classes too. (if you can leave Antu for sometime with Hd) May be gymboree or dance or swimming. Ashu may not learn anything significant, but atleast she can meet kids of her age and have some fun. It will also give a chance for you to spend some "Ashu Only" time.

K 3 said...

Exactly my senti, days being shorter, its hard to go anywhere like a park, and the fella takes my genes in wanting to get out ... waiting to see if anyone has any brilliant ideas!

Premalatha said...

I have a comment. I don't want to post, I want to post, I don't want to post. vaai namanama-nguthu.

Premalatha said...

on serious note,

Boo, in UK, local community centre have baby and toddler groups, where Ashu can meet new and local friends of her age. Antu gets to mix up with other babies of her age and you get to mix up with babies oops moms of your age!

netmoms.co.uk is another site which conducts events locally bringing local moms and babies together.

I am sure there Swiss might have similar things going on.

Neera said...

Boo I had the same concerns about Vansh last year and brought it up in his class - well the parents' class in the family program that I used to take him up to and the parent educator as well as other experienced parents with older kids say that its good he spends so much of quiet time. I was like at times I feel he is not doing anything else, let me just let him watch TV ..he'll learn something. But its good to let them sit and think and not do anything, because thats how they handle the HUGE influx of information they experience everyday, thats their way of making sense of the world, of all that they see and hear. It looks very odd to us but its actaully a good thing. After listening to that, now I deliberately put away his puzzles and books and toys so he can spend time doing nothing and become a great man :D
Wonderful picture accompanying the post ..hugs to Ashu ..I can see that she is fitting the elder sister bill to the T :)

Anonymous said...

I used to play with my kids myself, acting as a guest with a baby, visiting my elder one in her 'house' made of mats and blankets in the living room corner. My first daughter used to love it, playing host to me and using her quaint teaset to 'make' tea and serve it. Maybe nowadays girls are not given teasets and other choppu saman (gender bias?) to play?

GettingThereNow said...

Ha ha! You make the best observations. Of course you should have had Antu first. Then you'd be writing this post for her :)

I know what you mean though. I sometimes feel I should have had M sooner.

Parul said...

Oh, poor baby. But hey, it is such a blessing that she gets along so well with her sis. I wish I could think of something but I can't. All I can remember is that I never needed anyone when I had my sisters around. That is still true btw.

Maggie said...

Boo, I'm getting so tired of yelling same pinch to all your posts. So every time you put up a post about Ashu and Antu, just pinch yourself from me, ok? :-)

But seriously - it's the same over here. Moppet has a full day on school days, but she's taken to refusing park time so that she can play with Munch. If he's sleeping, she waits impatiently listening for the slightest sound from him. And as soon as she hears it, rushes to me screaming 'he's woken up, look he's opened his eyes' Most of the time, it's her screaming that wakes him up, but anyway....

Mama - Mia said...

oh i can imagine! Cubby too craves so much for company his age. we dont have any for miles together! and its heartbreaking to see him go NUTS when he gets some!

but then thats why you had antu! time will fly and they will be hanging out together! :)

cheers!

abha

Anonymous said...

first borns who grow up alone endup as great thinkers in their adult life....so cheer up!

ashok

DotThoughts said...

winters are hard.. maybe put her in an ice skating class where she can meet girls her age?

Madura said...

If this was a few months ago I would have thought, its good my buds wont be lonely they would have each other.
But I have been told some realities - twin parents have told me that happy companionship isnt true at all, if you wink or move away one second, they would have murdered each other fighting for a broken piece of rubber band!!! :) And a triplet mother told me the riot starts over an inch of abandoned paper lying on the ground, and it all starts when one picks it up and ends in casuality ward!!! :))) ...
So I dont know what to say.
It is just so sweet to observe the sweet elder sister in Ashu!

aparajita said...

oh no...your sad post makes me reassess my decision not to have another kid. if Ashu is feeling alone waiting for Antu to grow up...wonder what Myo is going to feel...

already there are days when I take him out and he excitedly runs(crawls or reaches out thru his hands calling them)but they don't respond. Completely breaks my heart.

Usha said...

This post and that beautiful picture make me want to rush over and hug your sweet little girl.
It is justa phase BOO - when she begins to go to regular school she will hardly have the time to feel lonely and by then antu would be alittle older to play with her too.

B o o said...

Thanks guys for all the lovely comments and useful suggestions. working on it. :)

Dubukku said...

//Ashu feels alone......I feel sorry for the poor child. Shes absolutely aching for company....//

dont just feel sorry..just talk with HD and you both better work on giving Ashu her next company ;P

***couldn't resist posting this...(sorry if its offlimits)