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October 13, 2008

Just Shoot Me.

A valuable advice for parents of single child who are planning to have a second one.

Keep talking in hushed tones,
Never raise your voice.
Even better, do NOT introduce talking to your child at all. You can do it once the second one comes along. Whats the hurry anyway?


OK, now for the reason.
I was feeding Antu in our bedroom with the door shut. After a loooooooong session, she was just about to doze off. I knew she would sleep at least for two hours and I was already planning which chore to finish first once she slept off. (Doing the dishes or folding the laundry - which is less mind numbing? Hmm... That a toughie!) Exactly then, Ashu opens the door with a bang and screams "Look Mommy!" and scares the bejeezes out of Antu. And Antu does three things at the same time - Bites me HARD, lets out an ear piercing scream and starts suckling again. All for what? To show some stupid blocks. If only I had nt given birth to this specimen! I managed a "Good job, Ashu. Now shut the door and go back to your room and play. Amma will come in a few minutes" with a fake smile while what I really really wanted to do was wring her neck and tell her, "Big deal! So you know how to build blocks! Now get out!"

On that note, is there anything more tortureous than an almost asleep baby waking up?

ps.
For others - do not have a second one. Or the first.

27 comments:

tulips said...

boo, i knew i would never go for a second one when i read ur birth story. This confirms my belief!

Priyanka said...

With Aashna's cousins around these days, I know exactly what you mean :)

mumbaigirl said...

heh heh, sorry, should be sympathetic, but this is funny.

Aartee said...

yeah i hv heard my co-sis tell me stuff like that a lot with her second baby. i am still wondering if having a second kid is a good choice or not,my son is gonna b 3 this nov.

Random Vignettes said...

Oh god oh dear god..I know!! I SO know..except in this case there ws no poor ashu to lay the blame..it was the creaking wooden footboards..damn the loft to hell and back!

Cuckoo said...

Oh I SO UNDERSTAND :) Poor u. Not to worry. hopefully all of these li'l ones shall grow up and move out and we can have some peace and quiet soon :)

Manchus said...

Welcome to the real world :)

Here R1 tries to wake up R2 when he is sleeping by telling him "Wake Up Baby, Wake Up. Come and play with Didi" or something like "Look Caillou is coming!!".

Caillou happens to be my future son-in-law.

Sometimes I am just speechless. He does cry a bit after waking up..but then he smiles for his sister and makes me feel like an outsider in their conversation.

asaaan said...

ROFL...
No No you must encourage everyone to have kids so that everyone can be miserable as you are when faced with a hungry wailing baby and a bored preschooler..
You must tell them how nice and easy having 2 kids is and then when they actually became pregnant, unleash the horrible truth *insert manical laughter*

sansmerci said...

oh poor anshu .. i'm wonderin how much she was plannin b4 she showed u the blocks... n got disappointed :) ... i unfairly take the kids side always!

Artnavy said...

hahahah
nothing made me more miserable when i thought peace and respite were on their way and someone woke anush up in her infant days

Mama - Mia said...

ouch!

will having been successful in soundproofing the first one be an incentive to have second? in hope that second one will take after the elder one?

because i so wanna have the second one! :D

cheers!

abha

Deej said...

There, there! Iss okay. You can exact revenge on her later - isn't that what the blog is there for??

Om said...

exactly so

Squiggles Mom said...

You are absolutely hilarious! I guess with Squiggles chattering away I can't really think of another one, can I?

Preethi said...

lol... hahahahaha so cute!!

Sue said...

No, definitely not!
If anyone dared wake my baby up, I'll tear them up into shreds...

That's a valuable suggestion. have to consider this part before the second one!!!

Poppins said...

LOL. Thank god we're at the stage where #2 seems soundproofed (I like Abha's terminology). We-ell lets see how long it lasts.

B o o said...

Tulips - Good you did nt read my first birth story then!! ;)

Priyanka - Ouch. It must be more painful with the first baby and even more painful when the child causing trouble is nt your own!! ;)

MG - "very" funny!

Aartee - The answer will come to you dear. And soon! :)

RV - See I cant even the cause of the trouble here! Damn!

Cuckoo - Ahh... Im waiting for that day!

Manchus - I know! Antu is all smiles if she can see Ashus face when she wakes up! but raises hell if its mine! The ungrateful brats!

Asaaan - Thats how I fell for it! Wait till I meet you!!!!

Sanmerci - Did you not read the part I fake smiled? huh? HUH? OR are you my dad?

B o o said...

Art - Tell me about it. This one time an entire family came to see Ashu when she was 6 months old. And they all stood around her, pinched her cheeks and woke her up! I was so mad! Its not like they came a long way. They lived right next door!! Grr...

Abha - Have the baby and have it NOW while it lasts! :)

Deej - No, I need something more vile. Any ideas?

Om - :)

SM - If you are smart, then NO! :)

Preethi - How about poor me??

Sue - Read my reply to Art. Some people! But what do you do when its your own child! Its so unfair, I tell ya!

Poppins - Sorry to burst your bubble. But the sound proofing seems to wear off by 3 months! Got to cross check with Mags and Kodis mom!

Madura said...

I had thought of buying a bose earphone to keep myself sane from screams (double!) atleast 2 hours a day - no no music, just absolutely sound proof hours. Now after reading your blog, I am wondering if I can custom order some baby-size bose earphones for the kids too!

Everybody has assured me that when one is feeding the other would scream and bring the roof down! :) And no secret hiding places in India - in addition, we have military flights blasting just 10 feet above our roof every other day making even adults shudder and wake up!!!

Pool all baby shower money for earplugs, earphones - no jimiki, kaathu kuththu for my kiddos, earplugs please!!! :) It is harder to stop them or anyone from screaming, much easier to plug victim ears! :)

Noodlehead said...

ohhhh, poor you! i know exactly what you mean. I dont' need a second child, I have a husband to make up for it. He invariably manages to make a loud noise just as BB's slipping into la-la land. I guess the good part of my situation is I can give him an earful but you can't do that with Ashu.Hugs!

WhatsInAName said...

awww dont you worry, this will pass too! and I am happy to see you could maintain your cool at Ashu :)
Oh yes. Waking up of an-almost-asleep-infant is the most irritating thing to happen!

Subhashree said...

Lol! And nothing is more torturous than an almost asleep baby waking up ;)

Uma said...

Boo,
I somehow landed in your blog and and I just have to say "wow!", your way of writing is really interesting and I'm sure you have a very bubbling personality - it shines through your writing. Read all your entries (thanks to the production code which was running forever *S*), I could relate to some of your postings being a mom of twins (2 and half year olds). Also it made me feel guilty that I never bothered to note down their milestones from birth till now and now this past weekend I went back the memory lane (ofcourse I have a good one ;-)) and wrote down all I can remember, which is good I guess from having nothing! Thanks to you!

Keep up the good work.

Happy Deepavali to you and your family.

DotThoughts said...

look at it this way boo.. you can have your revenge twice over in a few decades when you get grandkids :)

Monika said...

awwwwww. this makes my resolve to never go for a second one even harder...

B o o said...

Madura - Pattern it, pattern it! :)

NH - and hes still alive? You are a good person! ;)

Win - What to do? After all the fruit of my womb! :D

Subhashree - Thats something every parent in the whole world would agree, no? sigh!

Uma - Thanks for the kind words. Start a blog!

Dottie - If Im alive till then, that is!!

Monika - thats what I saying until that fateful night!!! ;)