27.04.2008

My Dearest,

How can time freeze and fly at the same time? I feel your twos has just gone in a blur but so much has happened in this year that I also feel it has been years since you turned two! The first thing that comes to my mind is school. You started day care just after you turned two and hated it. I hated sending you too, if it means anything to you. Thankfully, the India trip happened and once we came back to Zurich after a fun filled two months with the grand parents, you started play school and after a shaky start, you started liking it. You cant believe what a relief that was to me. Even today, Im crossing my fingers while dropping you at school. I know parents relive their childhood through their children but please do not make me go through this. My time is over, get it?

Two trips to the US happened this year, one after your 2nd Birthday and another one just before your 3rd. Your Aunt and Uncle are of course the only direct relatives you have and its only natural that you think the world of them. But I got to say I am so grateful to you for the love you shower on them. It makes us sisters bond more and also lets me watch TV in peace while you are pestering your Aunt to tell her a story while shes working from home! And the funny thing is, she does! And you do know that you have got her twisted around your little finger, you cheeky you! I see that sly smile of yours and how you run to her while I am scolding you for something you did. It does lighten my mood when you do that but Im also telling myself "Wait till you get home, you brat!" So be afraid my dear, very afraid! Ask your V Thatha if I am lying. For all the running I did to escape your Thathas wrath, it did nt do me any good once we were home. And how can I not mention the grand parents? You have to prefix their names even while talking to them and you only call them as V Thatha, S Thatha, R Paati and P Paati. You are a natural and you charm their pants off no matter what you do. Yeah, your paternal grandma does make you work a little more harder but let me assure you that its totally worth it. You got to make it for your mother who has miserably failed in that department. ;)

So we spent this year too without a night away from each other. That makes it 3 years in a row and the suspense is killing me. May be the night you are going to be a big sister? Oh, the thought makes me excited and scared at the same time. But don't worry if you see me screaming dear. You ll understand one day. Im sure nothing is going to change in three decades when it comes to child birth. Billions will be spent on producing an artificial uterus, sperm from women, cloning and probably a 20 blade razor for men for that ever elusive clean shave but labor pain will always be just that. Laborious P.A.I.N. And if this scares you then stay away from boys. And Men.

Until seven months back, your dad and I were nt even thinking about a second child and even the thought of making you a big sister was heart breaking. How can someone so small and fragile can become a BIG sis? How can you, the apple of my eye, become one of my eyes? How much ever we say that we want two kids so that they can grow together and have each other for the rest of their lives, its just one of the reasons. Not THE reason. I mean, lets face it! Would I have even shared the same bed with your dad if you were nt the angel that you are? Whatever shortcomings the guy has, he sure produced a good kid! I know its not from my side of the genes! So you are the sole reason dear. I don't mind another baby if shes going to be anything like you. How many times have I wondered aloud that I wish time froze and you remain the baby you are so that I can cherish those precious moments a little more. Well, my wish has come true now and come July, Im going to relive everything again. Yes, its a little scary. But then I have got you now, have nt I? You are the living example that I am a good mother. So far. And I am sure you are going to be an awesome sister. Yes, you wont hear it for another twenty or so years. But you ll thank me one day when you throw a baby shower for your sister along with 60 strangers! ;)

The bestest thing about you is your acceptance. Be it a chocolate or a lollipop, going out or coming back home, saying bye to your father or to your grand parents, leaving India or Zurich, leaving a park or a play area, wearing a pant or a skirt, switching off the TV or brushing your teeth,... You just accept whatever I say. Of course, everything flies out of the window when you are sleepy or hungry and you are totally fussy about food, but then pigs don't fly! And you are nt a robot! I am realistic if not anything else. I can totally understand that you can make my life hell if you want to but you choose not to. You know how proud that makes me feel? The other day while I was in the kitchen making lunch, as always you opened one of the cup boards and started playing with the plastic bowls. And as always you asked where the small red jar was. Usually, I would say Im using it and you would want it and I would repeat that I using it and you would let go after the umpteenth time. But this time, I was totally impatient and not to mention hungry and as soon as you asked me where the small jar was, I knew what was coming and said in an angry tone, "I am using it and Im not going to give it to you Ashu. So dont pester me OK?" And you said, "Thats OK Amma. I wont ask again. You use it and give it to me later after you finish with it ok? I don't want it now". You said it in such a polite and nice tone that I was so ashamed of myself. Don't you ever do that to me again, OK? That really shows me in a bad light!

Happy Birthday my little Darling! I love you. Thanks for being who you are and especially for making me what I am today.

Love,
Amma.