Belated Birthday update.

Last week Hd learnt that he might have to go to Prague for 2 weeks on work. While I ran to pack my bags, I heard a small voice calling me "Amma". Oh yeah, that's right! I cant go anywhere at the drop of a hat anymore! Then Hd explained to me that Czech republic requires a visa, that he ll be put up in a hotel and will be very busy and even might have to work on weekends and it might be tough for me to sit with Ashu in a hotel room for 2 weeks. I wanted to go. I did nt care what Ashu will do. That's her problem! Then I realized that he is right and I ll be moping around after we reach there. Ashu wont have proper food, she might get sick, she might be bored,... So I decided to stay and mope around in a familiar environment. Last week Hd went to Bern to apply for the visa and he took our passports too just in case. The lady in the embassy said she can accept my application too but I had to come in person to collect it. And today I had to go and collect all our passports while Hd stayed home with Ashu. So on my birthday, I got a day out. Yippee! I took a train to Bern and while sitting on the train listening to Tamil songs(Lajjavadhiye! nostalgic song!) in my ipod and reading a book(the curious incident of the dog in the night time. awesome read!), looking out of the window at the beautiful scenery, drinking freshly squeezed orange juice and Hd calling me every 15 mins and putting Ashu on the phone and hearing her voice through the phone, everything was so refreshing! I was in Bern in an hour. Took a tram to the embassy, collected the passports and was back on a train to Zurich in 30 mins. I wanted to do some shopping in Bern but you have the same shops in Zurich too and there were children everywhere in prams and it made me want to get back to Ashu as soon as possible! And I was worried that Hd might set fire to the flat if at all he entered the kitchen, that is! I was back in Zurich by noon and we decided to go out for lunch. So I went directly to the restaurant and Hd came there with Ashu. First time I was going to a restaurant in 6 weeks since I came here. Except for Mc Donald's that is! Stuffed myself with Mini masala dosas, garlic naan and paneer masala. Ashu sat in her high chair and was cutting a tiny piece of paneer into 100 pieces with the silver knife which weighed a tonne. When we finished eating and the waiter cleared our plates, Ashu started screaming and asked the "uncle" to give her plate back. (Uncle, plate, kaanum) Hd and I were rolling on the floor laughing because she had such a gutted expression on her face. When we left some coins to tip the waiter, she pocketed one coin and left. Sweet revenge!

Otherwise, it was just another day, my birthday that is. Flowers, cards, cake and ice cream from Hd. A cute card from Ashu and phone calls from family. No gifts this time. I bought myself a cute shirt last week and told Hd I don't need anything else and not to waste money buying me something I don't need. He listened and I'm happy he did. Hes looking for some serviced apartments in Prague and if it works out, I might go with him for 2 weeks. Now that would be a fantastic gift!

ps.
Ok, I wrote this post on my birthday and forgot to publish! Anyway, the Prague plan got cancelled. We are thinking of going during Easter holidays since we have the visa anyway. But doubtful since I am really scared to travel with Ashu.

The difference between yesterday and today is...

... SNOW!






When Ashu saw outside the window today morning, she was all confused. She might have thought we had moved house overnight! Ahhh... I love snowy landscapes especially in March! Let it snow, let it snow,...

I ain't fat for no reason.

OK. Its time I say this aloud, modesty be damned! I am a good cook. While I am at it, I'm an awesome cook! I'm not bloody creative or I don't claim to know everything that's there in cooking, but whatever I do I'm good at it. And I LOVE cooking. OK now, this does nt sound unbelievable to you does it? DOES it? I did nt think so too! So why the hell is it hard for my friends to believe the same? Every time I talk to one of my college friends, they re surprised that Im married, a house wife, a stay at home mother, a cook, a home maker, etc... One of them is surprised that I had a natural labor and not a C section because she did nt think I had it in me to go through a natural labor. Another one laughed on the phone when I announced that I was pregnant as in "YOU are pregnant!" Almost all of them think that I am lying when I tell them what I cooked for a dinner party. Now, why would a woman pushing 30 lie about what she cooked for dinner to anyone other than her mother in law? Beats me!

The thing is I was a tom boy in school and college. And our family moved a lot because of my dads job. So except for a couple of friends, I have nt met anyone after I got married. And me living out of India does nt help either. So everyone has this image of this girl who was out going, who did nt know how to cook, who had a boy friend even though she was in a girls college, who fought with her dad, who read Mills & Boon, blah, blah, blah! And I was the first one to get married among friends. Go figure! And I get all this heat from girls who don't know what gestational diabetes is even though they had it, cant spell Schezwan, don't name their babies until the babies start speaking, live with their in-laws and tell me that they like their MIL more than their mother and schedule a C section after consulting an astrologer! God only knows why I even bother to stay in touch with them. Who needs enemies when I have friends like these?

Now for some proof of my culinary skills:






Tomato baskets stuffed with capsicum rice. I made this inspired by a friends recipe.











Banana muffins I baked yesterday.








I don't have more photos here. But take my word for it when I say I make a mean Pineapple Rasam. That's my speciality. My Rava upma/khichdi is something else altogether. I have brought respect to the word Upma among friends and family. I make awesome Pasta with home made sauce. I am good at chopping veggies. I am better than a food processor! I don't use any frozen veggies except green peas. No pre cut veggies either! No tinned fruits except pineapples. No canned veggies except sweet corn. I am very popular among friends for making Veg puffs, Enchilada, Layered Aloo tikki chole, Khulfi, Rasam, Sambar, Veg clear soup,... My idlis, dosas and adai are always good. Im known to make tasty raita and mor kozhambu(kadhi) even though I don't like them and don't eat them.

Now to discard the evil eye, here are the things I am no good at.

I can never make a perfectly round chapathi/roti even if my life depended on it.

I am very scared to deep fry in oil. So I very rarely make pooris, bhajjis and pakodas much to the disappointment of Hd.

Except for Gulab jamoon, ghajar halwa, Rava kesari and Kheer, I have never tried making any other sweet. Oh, I made Basundi once. And I tried making Rasmalai. Gave up half way through. Don't ask!

Even though I make passable muffins and breads, I still have nt perfected the art of cake making.

I am NEVER consistent. No one can taste a dish and say for certain that I had cooked it. I still have nt got that "my" flavour!

I can never follow a recipe to the T. I have to give it my touch. At times, it does nt work!

Bottom line - Judge my cooking by my looks! Like I said, I ain't fat for no reason! ;)

Congrats, Mad Momma!

Congrats on your new little Sunshine!

A special thanks to OJ.

28, 29,... Does it matter anymore?

I tagged myself after reading this post by MM. What better time to write about my mother than today? Here's to you, Mom!

Thank you so much for giving birth to me. I know I have asked you a million times why you brought me into this world. But it was always the WHY I wanted an answer for not the YOU. I am glad that you are my mother.

Thank you for letting me be. You never asked me where I was going, what I was doing, whether I finished my home work, how much I got in my midterms, how much was my college fee, ... Instead you told me you trusted me, you told friends and family that I am very responsible, I study well, I work hard and always appreciated me. You don't know how much it meant to me then.

Thank you for celebrating your daughters. I don't remember anyone in our family or friends who absolutely celebrate their daughters like you do. Especially in those times when having 2 girls and no sons made people look at your family with pity. Look who's laughing now!

Thank you for leading by example. You never lie, you never laze, you are generous, brave, strong, selfless and always bursting with energy. I'm not there yet but I'm getting there!

Thank you for always being positive. At times you completely annoy me with your overdose of positivity. Like this one time I dropped a pickle jar on the floor and called you and complained that I had to clean up the entire kitchen and you said "Look at the bright side, you have a clean floor". Nevertheless, your optimism is infectious.

Thank you for disciplining me in so many ways. Remember the time when I was 13 and brought five of my friends home? You gave us Rasna to drink and then we left to play outside. After I came back home, you showed me the clean glasses by the sink and told me that I did nt even bother to put the Rasna glasses in the sink while you took pain to make the drink for my friends. I was so ashamed of myself for having treated you like a maid in front of my friends. That's why I stop with cooking when HDs friends come home for dinner. He does all the dishes. What would I have done without you? That's a good lesson you taught me there, mom!

Thank you for being a wonderful mother-in-law. I ll stop with that because I don't like that word very much especially when I have got a raw deal!

And last but not the least, thanks a million for being this amazing grand mother. Boy, are nt you great? You are everything a girl wants in her grandma and more. Ashu is one lucky girl!

Happy birthday to me! Phew! I managed to complete the post without complaining about my age. Now for giving this post a title... Damn!

ps.
The first photo is my mom with me when I was about a year old. The second is with Ashu.

His and His!

A couple of days ago, I was rearranging the closet and found loads and loads of cosmetics. Mens shampoo, moisturiser, hand cream, conditioner, body wash, body spray, face wash,... Everything was 2 or 3 pack. These are the stuff Hd has bought in the past 4 months as RESERVE stock! Apart from this, currently he has sixteen items of toiletries in the bathroom cabinet, three in the shower and also uses my hand cream. I really wish for those good old days when we were both using the same Dove bar. What was I thinking when I introduced him to the world of Mens cosmetics? Stay away from that baby cream you, you, you ... metro sexual maniac!

ps.

When I confronted Hd in the evening with this treasure I found, he did nt even remember buying most of them. And he took out the 3for2 pack moisturiser out of his shopping bag. At least we won't die of dry skin!

Get well soon, Baby S.

Funny comes easy to me. Even when Im sick or down, I can joke about it. But I dont know what to say when my friends are unhappy. I usually tell them that Im there for them, my prayers are with them and then I shut up. I cant give a long speech like my sister does and make them feel better with my words. I cant figure out what to do for them or how to make them feel better. I willingly help if they ask but I cant pester them to take my help. And today I felt the most helpless ever in my life. I spoke with my friend who also lives in Swiss. She gave birth to her second baby 5 days back. A girl after a boy. Just like she wanted. But alls not well. The baby has a heart defect. The Doctors had diagnosed that the baby has some heart problems even when she was pregnant. But now it has become certain. The baby was 3 weeks early so her family is not here yet. Her older son is staying with friends. Its tough on the family to say the least. She lives in another city, so Im not of any help. The baby has trouble breathing. She has shortness of breath during feedings and gets tired very soon. So the Doctors dont want her to try too hard. But the baby has to gain weight and become healthy to withstand the surgery which will be in a month from now. Its a vicious cycle. For now, my friend is pumping and the breast milk is fed to the baby through her nose with a feeding tube. I had tears in my eyes when I heard that. The baby is in the NICU. My friend is getting discharged tomorrow. Thats right, shes going home tomorrow without the baby. And it might even take weeks for the baby to come home. I imagined myself in her place, leaving 5 days old baby girl in a cold hospital, all alone, amidst strangers and going home. I could nt. What a cruel world we live in. My friend is taking all this very positively and at least on the phone she sounded okay. I pray God to give the family all the strength they need and a very quick recovery for the baby girl. Please keep Baby S on your prayers too. It will mean a lot to the family.

Update on apr 16th.

She has been moved to the Children's Hospital in Zurich. So I got a chance to meet my friend, P. The baby was in the ICU so I did nt get to see her. Which was good as I don't think I could have handled it well. P started crying as soon as she saw me and I could nt take it. We were sitting and talking for a couple of hours about this and that and catching up as we were seeing each other after an year. Her husband and her son were at home.(in another city an hour away by train) This happened a month back. Now shes commuting between Zurich and home everyday. The baby is still in the ICU. A surgery was performed last week and they are waiting to see if theres any improvement. The doctors told her that its a very slow process. She still needs our prayers.

For The Mad Momma.

An online baby shower for MM.

Now I cant be left behind, can I? Why stop with a picture? Heres some pregnancy humor for you MM to distract you for a while. Keep smiling and heres wishing you a smooth labor and even smoother breast feeding, diaper changing, cleaning, feeding, bathing, dressing, sleeping,... OK I ll stop here! ;)

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. Since I became pregnant, My breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A. Your therapist.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. Because you're fatter then they are.

Q. Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
A. No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

Q. What's the difference between a nine-months pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out your pregnant.

Q. I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position?
A. Authorized personnel only---doctors, nurses, oderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

Q. Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
A. Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q. What is the grasp reflex?
A. The reaction of new father's when he sees new mother's breasts.

Q. Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A. Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

Q. What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away?
A. They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in the event of global chemical warfare.

Q. What is colic?
A. A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?
A: When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Food guide.

The other day I gave Ashu some mashed potato and she says after one spoon, "Don't like it". (Pidikalai.) I was like huh! I asked her "What did you say?" and she clearly repeats again "Pidikalai". I was speechless for a minute. All of 22 months old and picky as hell.

She likes apple juice but not orange juice.

She likes salty biscuits but not sweet cookies.

We went to Mc Donalds the other day and this was the first trip for Ashu. She refused to eat the Fries. I told her its like papad and gave her one. She took one bite and said Enough. She did nt touch it the next time we went too after 3 weeks.

I have not given her a chocolate yet. So she does nt know even the word Chocolate. When we went to the paediatrician here for the first time, he had a big bowl of chocolates and asked Ashu to take some. She took one not knowing what it was and gave it to me. The doctor thought she was giving it to me to open it for her and opened one himself and gave it to her. I said I don't give her chocolates but the Dr said that it was white chocolate and its OK and gave it to her. She put it in her mouth and was surprised that something can taste this good. The next time we went, I pocketed the chocolate but Ashu understood what was going on and demanded I give the "chocky" to her. Damn the Doctor!

I bought her a lollipop for the first time a few days back. She liked to hold it and occasionally gave it a lick. But gave it back to me after a while.

She eats apples only if they are crunchy not soft but can eat bananas any time.

She has been drinking water and juice out of a straw for the past 4 months. The other day when we had gone out I bought those small milk cartons for her to drink. She thought it was juice so after one sip she refused to drink. And this is a child who lives for milk. So I transferred the milk from the carton to the sippy cup and her whole face lightened up when she saw it and started gulping down the milk from the sippy cup.
Note to self: Throw the cup out of the balcony. NOW.

I giver her corn flakes with milk and banana for breakfast everyday. Ran out of bananas one day so gave her just the cereal. One spoon and she asks me No banana?

She eats her breakfast cereal and curd rice dinner willingly. But feeding her lunch is a little tricky. So I have left the job to the cartoon shows on TV. She eats rice and dal with mashed carrots/spinach/beans/peas/any vegetable with a little tomato rasam and a cup of yogurt for lunch. Everything has to be mashed up nicely and should look like super glue! The speed at which she finishes lunch depends on how interesting the Noddy TV show is on that particular day. The more balloons and bouncy balls we see, the faster we eat!

I have never added sugar in her milk or cereal. She likes them plain or rather she has got used to it. The downside is that she does not want to eat anything too sweet like Kheer or Sweet pongal. And she wants plain toast without jam!

She loves yogurt but does nt want to eat Quark.

I cant figure out this human!

ps.
While I was writing this post, Ashu learnt to say a new thing. Today I was feeding her yogurt and she said she wanted "more" after her first cup. Thats a first! :) I have taught her to say Enough instead of No when it comes to food. So little Missy says enough even before the first spoon! And she likes to say it ALL the time. Even after she finishes eating she says Enough as if it was her idea to stop! ;) So hearing "Innum venum" (I want more) was music to my ears! Your wish is my command, sweet heart! Just dont push your luck too far.

"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer."

I have not been quiet all the time. I tried not to be a victim all the time. After being harassed a dozen times, you learn. You grow up from a child to an adult pretty fast. It jolts you awake from the sweet innocence of childhood to become a confused adult. I think I learnt to read the signs and be more weary only when I was around 17 and entered college. Every time I caught a bus to go to college, I looked at faces, judged them and hugged my backpack close to my chest. This one time, I was surrounded by men and this one guy kept staring at me. I stared at his hands all the time. As soon as he brought his hand close to me, I shifted and looked straight into his eyes and said in Tamil, "Don't even think about it! You wont know what hit you!" I could see fear and shame in his face and he got down at the next stop. For once, I felt powerful. But of course, for every situation like this one, there were dozens more where I was the victim with fear and shame in my face and tears in my eyes. But I grew stronger. I started looking out for young girls and tried to protect them as much as I could. I swore at the perverts, complained to the bus conductor, called them names but I have nt hit them. I regret it now. I should have slapped at least one of those perverts. It would have made me a little more happier person today and respect myself more.

Today when my 22 months old daughter told me shes afraid to walk on the dark corridor, all I could think about was how was she going to survive the bad, bad world out there if shes afraid to walk in the dark in our own home. I asked her to be brave, held her hand and walked with her. I told her to be strong like me, her mother. I knew I have to be an action hero so that she can be one too. I don't think I was a hero before but I am one now. Like the title quote* of this post, being a mother is my 5 minutes.

Thanks to the Blank Noise Project for reminding me to stop being a victim.

*Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Blank Noise invites you to participate in an online event-" BLANK NOISE ACTION HEROES"

Remember the Blog-a-thon by the Blank Noise Project last year? This was my contribution. Its that time of the year again. I am copying Blank Noise's mail here. Please spread the news and do a post on or before 8th of March.

On March 8 last year (Women's Day), we had a blog-a-thon of stories of street sexual harassment. The blog-a-thon was picked up by bloggers across India, and all over the world. We shared stories we had never shared before, stories we thought we had long forgotten, stories that we had often wanted to bury. We read each other, we linked to each other and we linked back to the Blank Noise Project blog. We were touched by each other's stories, and drew strength and sustenance from the the long, cross-cultural chain of shared experiences.

This year for Women's Day we're asking you to share experiences of times when you were an ACTION HERO and fought back against harassment. Blog about your experience, and let us know so we can link to you on our blog.

When did you flip a situation so you could resist, when did you give back as hard as you got? How did you choose to confront the situation? When did you become an Action Hero?

We hope that this response helps us understand the different strategies women (across age groups, cultures, and countries) have instinctively created to deal with street sexual harassment.(If you're a male blogger, ask your female friends and relatives about their experiences.)

Here's how to participate:
1. blog your story (as soon as possible, and definitely before March 8!)
2. email the link to your blog post to blurtblanknoise@gmail.com with a subject titled "Action Heroes Online"
3. we will link to you right away! And don't forget your non-blogging friends and family members -- we'd love to hear stories from your mothers, aunties and grandmothers!

If you're not a blogger, please feel free to email the action testimonials instead. We will upload them on a new blog site. ( WWW.BLANKNOISEACTIONHEROES.BLOGSPOT.COM)
Questions? Email us at blurtblanknoise@gmail.com. Look forward to hearing from you.

Visual DNA.

Saw this at Art, Itchy and Orchids blog and decided to tag myself. Was fun doing it. Take a look. And take the tag if interested.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Motherhood is...

... doing the dishes while carrying your toddler piggy-back.


ps.
The said toddler completed 22 months today. 2 more months to be 2. :)

Ashu and her books.

I wanted to bring all of Ashus books to Zurich from Bangalore more than her toys and clothes. English books are sold only in certain book shops and they are very expensive here. Finding a library and commuting might also be a problem. So I brought most of her books. (Remember the heavy fine for overweight baggage to Lufthansa? Now you know why.) I bought around 10 books just before coming to Zurich. My sister and friends have bought her loads of books. I also bought a few Tamil rhymes and alphabet books. So to cut the long story short, it seems like she has a million books now in her room. She has never seen them all together before. So the little Missy is happy beyond words. She wants to hold 4 books at a time and see pictures from all of them. She is also calling out letters like A, W, C, Q,... whenever she recognizes the letters. The other day she pointed out the word WILD in one of her books and said Dabbudabbu-I-Ellu-Dheeee and I almost had a heart attack. She has these flash cards with alphabets and pictures and madam can say all the 26 words now. Apple, Baoon, Cat, Doggeee, Naanai(for elephant), Fishy, Guita(r),Hat, Iggoo, Jar, Kite, Lemon, (she says tomato first and then when I ask her again she says Emon), Mitten, Nest(and immediately says "Kuvvi irukum" meaning "A bird lives in it"), Ottopus, Piggy, Qeen, Ring, Sun, (T)able, Umbella, Vioyeen, Dabbudabbu first and then Wagon, X(ray), Yoyo, Zeeba. And these flash cards I gave her only in the flight for the first time 3 weeks back. Of course she knew most of the words already having seen them in one or the other dozen alphabet books she has and the websites. Its hard to figure her out. She likes mostly picture books where she can point and say what they are or listens when I tell her what they are. But theres this Pooh story book she loves to look at and also lets me read it to her for few minutes. But she wants none of the nursery rhymes book to be read to her. Its OK if I sing to her when we are playing or I'm changing her diaper or dressing her up. But if I open the book and start singing a rhyme, she grabs it and closes it and says "Aachu" (finished) and keeps the book back in the shelf. I have to say it hurts my ego big time! Then there are these paper books which I keep on the top shelf as I'm afraid she ll tear them up. And those she loves needless to say. But I am always near her when she looks at them. Every time she turns the pages, I want to snatch the book from her and run as she creases the pages very badly. But then, these are her books. So I let it go! I know, I have a big heart! I bought two Noddy story books in Bangalore because she loves Noddy. I think I should prepare myself to accept him as my future son-in-law. Yes, that much lurve! Those are her favorites now. But we lost one in Ikea last week. So we are hanging on to the last Noddy we have currently!! My dad said he can courier a dozen Noddy books but I pretended not to hear him!

Anyway, I have a few Qs. Mommies help me out if you can.

1. So those nursery rhymes books are for the parents to memorize and sing to them later is it? Why is Ashu looking at me as if I'm copying in an exam when I sing the songs from the book? Or is it for older kids and shes trying to tell me that?

2. How does/did your toddler turn a paper page? This badly? Will she improve or should I hide the books which are MY favorites?

3. Ashu always likes it when I tell her a story in Tamil. So even when I read out from an English book, I tell her in Tamil after every sentence. Is that okay?

4. Whats with kids and animal pictures? She can say Iguana looking at a picture of Iguana and I have nt even heard of an Iguana before. But show her an Orange and she says Apple.

5. Do toddlers forget easily? I remember Ashu was doing this puzzle book with Numbers on them very easily. Now she does nt know how when she saw the book 4 months later. Does it mean I have to show those damn ABC flash cards to her every day? Let her as well learn in School then, whats the hurry? ;)

Is buying bin liners by myself a milestone too?

It has been very cold and windy in Zurich since the time I arrived. The only times we went out were either to Ikea or to a hospital. As if I need an excuse to stay home, just thinking about dressing up Ashu can put anyone off from going out! The tights over her diaper, then some thick pants, thermal top, turtle neck top, sleeveless sweater, the winter jacket, woolen cap, socks and then shoe. If she is nt crying her lungs out already, she will as soon as she sees the mittens. Putting her wriggly fingers inside the mittens and at the same time distracting her from crying should be listed under the Chinese torture methods. Then settling her in the stroller and strapping the belt.Two minutes later, shes trying to stand and crying again. Hd carries her while I push the empty stroller around. Frustrating! So yesterday Hd calls up from office and says what a wonderful sunny day it is.

Me: Is it?
(I open the shutters to see for myself.)
Why indeed, the sun is out! Is there anything else dear?
Hd: So why dont you go out?
Me: What? where?
Hd: Just for a walk woman.
Me: But why?
Hd: To get some fresh air.
Me: I can get that if I stand on the balcony, cant I?
Hd: Come on. Take Ashu and go out for a while.
Me: Why are u ordering me around? Im not a baby. I will go out if I want to.
Hd: It ll be a change for u and for Ashu.
Me: We don't need a change. We are fine.
Hd: Whats your problem? You dont even need to bundle up Ashu. Its very pleasant outside.
Me: But why should I go?
Hd: Why dont u go to that Migros store and buy the garbage disposal bags? It seems we have to use the ones that are sold in our area only.
Me: Why dont you go from office in the evening?
Hd: Fine.
Me: What if Ashu starts crying?
Hd: I said fine.
Me: What if she does nt want to sit in the stroller?
Hd: OK. Don't go.
Me: What if it starts raining?
Hd: OK. Sit at home all day long.
Me: OK. I ll go.
Hd: Whatever!

So after that silly conversation, I dressed up, got Ashu ready and ventured out. It took 20 minutes to walk to the store. 10 minutes there looking at all the aisles, bought the bags and apple juice for Ashu. I could nt have bought anything else even if I wanted to as I cant carry them back. While she was drinking the juice I pushed the stroller and walked back home. 20 more minutes. Ashu did nt utter a word. Not a whimper. Sometimes I was doubtful if she was even sitting on the stroller. She was unusually quiet. Observing every thing on the way. Im sure she was making some escape plans and memorizing the route! Or probably did nt want to cry and ruin the one chance she got to go out. Or may be she overheard the conversation I had with Hd! But it sure left me wonder why these kids behave the way they do when Dad, Grandpa or Grandma are anywhere near the radius. At least Ashu does. Shes an angel all day long but becomes this little devil once Hd comes home in the evening. And Hd is not even the extreme pampering kind like my dad. I am terrified of the future. It looks like she ll tell on me to Hd any day now. I better get my act together and mend my ways. And go out more. It was fun.

Is it the kid or the mom?

Ashu is by no means gentle all the time. But I know her enough to predict whats coming. Sometimes just by the way she walks to another child, I know if shes going to snatch the toy from that child or just touch the child or push her/him. Not always but most of the times. So I act accordingly. When we go to a park or some party, I'm always supervising her and seeing how shes behaving with the other children. One, it makes me understand my child and two, it also gives me time to stop her if shes going to behave badly. But some parents just let their children loose once they reach the park or the party. They have no idea how their kids are behaving towards other kids or generally what they are up to. And I mean kids between 2 to 4. Some parents just stand there and stare even if theirs kids are behaving badly. I am absolutely confused on why they are that way. To be honest, fathers are okay in these situations. They either apologize or remove the child from the scene. But the mothers are another story. They think its some kind of a battle and they ll lose it if they apologize or even acknowledge the situation. I know its tough to generalize the situations but take this case. A month back, when we had gone to the park with Ashu, there were these two boys aged 3 and 4. They both had a long wooden stick in their hands and were swishing it and hitting everyone who passed them. The mother was sitting on the park bench very near and watching. Ashu ran towards the boys and my mom and I got scared and ran behind her. We picked up Ashu just in time and my mom was hit by the boys in her back and she got really mad. The mother was sitting and watching. She made a feeble attempt to call the boys but did nt even get up from the bench. We hurriedly left the place and went to another corner. I watched the boys for some more time and they were still at it. The mother was sitting and watching. Another time when Ashu was 7 or 8 months old, she was sitting on her pram. A small boy came near her and tried to pull the toy that was hanging on the hood of the pram. He could nt and he tired to pull hard and Ashu started crying because of the jerks. I told the boy to stop but he would nt listen to me. His mother stood near him with a smile on her face. I pushed the pram and left the place. Don't you think these situations called for the mothers to act? I would have. And I expect the same from other mothers too. Whats the shame in accepting that our children behave badly sometimes and apologizing for the same?

ps.
This post was in my draft for a while unfinished. This post by Gauri inspired me to finish it.

St.Valentine and ABC.

Today morning after breakfast, Hd has some official work so he shut himself up in the bedroom with his laptop. Ashu started banging the door and shouting "Appa, Appa". So to distract her, I told her I ll show her ABC Zoo and started up my laptop to show her the ABC's from the fisher price website. She was sitting near me and when I opened the site, there was this Valentines day banner on it. Thats when I remembered! I called Hd loudly and he yelled back "WHAT" thinking that it was another diaper change time. I shouted "Happy Valentines day". He yelled back "Today? Wish you the same dear". And I went back to the ABC zoo while he went back to his work. I sent an ecard from my laptop from the living room which he received 2 seconds later in his laptop in the bedroom. Cool, huh? Happy Valentines Day Folks! Go on, spread the love. ;)

The Parakeet.

Ashu is talking a lot these days. Like a parakeet. She not only says it back after us but she remembers the words and speaks them on the right occasion too. It reminds me that I have to be very careful with my words. The other day in Ikea I got so excited at the children's section since this was the first time I can actually buy something instead of commenting "cute" and moving to the Kitchen area where I can buy stuff I don't need! So I got carried away and wanted to buy the whole section. Hd said its perhaps better if we move into Ikea as well! Ahhh, would nt that be lovely?? Anyway, in my cheerful mood I was picking up random things and asking "Idhu Nallaa irukaa? Adhu nalla irukaa?" (Is this good? Is that good?) to Hd. Ten minutes later we hear a squeaky voice "Appa! Appa! Nallarukka?" and shes holding a set of colorful little cloth hangers in her hands. Of course, I had to buy them too! :)

ps.
I so very badly wanted to move the ugly post down.

The Good, Bad and Ugly.

I don't know where to begin. So many things have happened in this one week since I landed in Zurich. Good, bad and ugly.

Good:
Lovely flat. Amazing surroundings. Very peaceful. Ashu is having fun exploring every corner of the house. Seeing so many new things. Her bright red small chair. Her cute junior cot. All her old favorite books she did nt see for the past 2 months. Noddy, Dora and Mickey Mouse talking in German on TV. Helping me in the common laundry room. Waving bye bye to her Dad from the balcony. Rushing outside and standing near the lift door when he comes back home. The trains every 10 mins whizzing past behind our apartment. The cold walks when she says "Kululadhu"(Its cold!)

Bad:
Ashu has had a cold right from the time we landed. And its not going. Her nose is running permanently. On Sunday, she had bad cough and could nt sleep the whole time. She was wheezing very badly and scared us to death. Hd and I were holding her the entire night. She seemed to be better in the day but we decided to go to a Doctor anyway. The paediatricians in this area were fully booked so we went to the emergency in the children's hospital. We waited for 4 hours to see a Doctor. The waiting room looked like a day care with so many kids, books, toys, etc... So Ashu had fun. She seemed to be perfectly OK when the Dr checked her. So all for nothing. It was a frustrating wait and we spent 6 hours for nothing. Thankfully Ashu did nt have the wheezing again but her nose would nt stop running. We have found a paediatrician a little away from our area and got an appointment tomorrow. Hope everything works out.

Ugly:
Yesterday we went to Ikea and bought a million things for the house. When we entered the apartment and were walking towards the lift, Ashu ran near the steps which goes down to the basement. I was afraid she ll fall down and ran behind her as the stairs are dangerously steep. She was on the second step and I bent down to lift her. I tripped and fell. It was a nasty fall. I landed with a thud hurting my chin on the landing. From the second step, past ten more steps, face first on the floor. No rolling. I was in a daze for 10 seconds, there was blood dripping from my face all over the floor, my teeth were broken and I could feel the broken pieces of teeth in my mouth. Hd was shocked to say the least. I picked up myself, held a hankie under my chin and took the lift to reach our flat. There was a deep gash under my chin because I had hit the corner of a step. Though there were broken teeth, there was no blood. I spat powdered teeth. Two teeth were loose. I kept some ice on the chin when Hd called for a taxi and we went to the emergency. It was 9pm by now and Ashu was sleeping in the waiting room with Hd while I got the check up, x rays and stitches under the chin and was asked to go to another hospital to see a dentist. We took a taxi and went there. It was 11.15 pm. The dentist checked and pulled the loose tooth and filled it temporarily. 3 more teeth were chipped and 1 tooth was hurting. (And I have an old chipped tooth and a cavity too if you must know!) She gave me some pain killer and asked me to see a dentist later to do the rest. We came home by 1 am. And that's when I called up my sister and then my parents and broke down. What if it was Ashu who was hurt, Why could nt I have been more careful, Why me, I was so stupid, Why me, Why now, Bad time, Bad luck, ...

Today I feel better. My teeth hurt and the stitches below the chin are itching. Im not able to move the lower jaw so I cant chew. Im on a lukewarm liquid diet. May be this is the only way I can be on a diet! Got to see a dentist soon and then a few days later, got to remove the stitches. Hope everything goes well from here. I cooked, cleaned and went about doing the daily chores much to Hds disapproval. Somehow Im extra active when Im hurt or sick. As if to prove that Im okay. I am okay.

ps.
Thanks all of you for the nice comments to my earlier post. I cant explain but I am so glad I have this blog and all of you.

Grüße from Zurich!

I cant be away too long from this blog especially when I have so many things to share. So after making Ashu sleep and generously letting Hd make dinner, here I am. Ashu waved bye bye to her precious grand parents and boarded the plane bravely in Bangalore. I on the other hand was crying. Before a stranger that too. Because he asked me to pay up for excess baggage. I could have sent the things by cargo for half the fine. Anyway, I paid up after a little bargaining. I hate Lufthansa! Probably, because of this heavy drama, the rest of the journey went smoothly. Ashu slept half the time in the flight. The rest of the time, she was looking at the small baby next to us and playing with her toys and books. When we landed in Frankfurt, she started asking for her dad and looked at me as if I had cheated her and brought her to some Dadforsaken place! One more hour of flying, baby! That went fine too. Rushed through immigration in Zurich and went to the baggage area. I could see Hd standing outside. I took Ashu in her stroller and put her near the glass wall and Hd was looking at her from the other side. Ashu was looking at all the people standing there and when her eyes went to Hd, her whole face lit up and she screamed "APPA"!! I ran and collected the baggage and went out. Ashu ran to her dad and he gave her a stuffed bear and bunch of tulips for me. The taxi driver helped me with the baggage and when we went out,... Well, well, well! What do you think? There was this white stretch Limousine and the driver was standing with the door open for me and Ashu! I just died and went to heaven straight in the Limo! I took some photos before of course! :) Hd has given me very many surprises before but I used to always guess or sort of get a hint on what he was upto. But this time, the whole thing was such a surprise that it was too much. I actually climbed into a Limo! The whole leather interior, the mini bar with Crystal glasses, the lightings, the music, everything was so beautiful! It was 30 mins drive from the airport to home and for the first time in our married life, I did nt ask Hd, "How much?" Because after 4 months of delay in getting the visa and the 12 hour flight, I knew I deserved such a welcome.

Ashu would nt let go of her dad even for a minute. She follows him everywhere like a puppy and stands guard at the bathroom door when hes using it. Last night she slept for 12 hours and then took a nap in the morning. So the jet lag is not that bad. Shes eating without a fuss because shes with her dad. I mean, you should see her face. She has this loyal look as if she would do anything for her dad. Im almost in tears whenever she calls Appa with a pain in her voice. Even though she never once asked for Dad or showed in any way that she missed him when we were in Bangalore, the pain in her voice now says it all. My poor little darling! The flat which is our home now is on the 10th floor and the views are amazing. Theres a farm on one side were there are cows and horses. The other side has a view of the city and the night view is awesome especially with a full moon like yesterday. Cant ask for more. Someone up there really likes me. Thank you pal and take care of the Lufthansa people for me, will ya?