27.04.2007

Dear Arushi,
Yes, its Amma again and yes, its already your second birthday. I don't believe it either but lets fact it, you are getting old! :) What can I say about this year except thank God for every minute of it? And do you know we both have nt spent a day or night apart from each other in these 2 years? Yes, that's true baby and I'm mighty proud that I have nt had any life except you. And lets see how far we can stretch it. Until your wedding night perhaps? OK, OK I get the point. I ll try to be cool when you go out on sleep dates. No promises though! This year started with a bang for you with two grand parties, ear piercing and of course, the shaved head! I realised babies look cute no matter what when I saw your bald head yellow with the sandalwood paste. But you look a lot nicer with those curly locks and whenever people comment that your hair is exactly like mine, I can only pity you. Sorry!

The best thing about this year was that you spent nine months of it in India and that meant more time with your grand parents. Which meant I could relax and actually enjoy you. I realize that's the best thing to happen to an impatient mother like me. And the way you are so close to your grandpas and grandmas makes my heart grow heavy. I ll never solve this mystery of why you are the way you are with them. Remember when Thatha went abroad for 2 months and when he came back, you screamed "Thathaaaaaaaaaaa" and ran to him. And there we were wondering if you ll go to him or not since you were 14 months old and it would have been normal if you were shy at first. This happened so many times with both the grandpas and grandmas that we stopped questioning it. You figured out who is going to leave you loads of money pretty early in life - that's the explanation I'm sticking to!

Something I'm sure you have got from me is very interesting to notice. You have no problems adjusting to new places and you are OK with change. You like your dolls Paapu and Boo but never miss them. You don't ask for them. You love your grand parents to bits but as soon as they say good bye and leave, you give me a sad look and ask me "No Thatha/Paati" and then continue with your life. You don't ask for them again. Its the same when dad leaves for office everyday, you go until the elevator and say lots of byes and as soon as his face disappears you give me a sad face and then distract yourself with some toys. You have loads of fun in the park but as soon as I say lets leave, you say "Bye Park" and start following me. It breaks my heart every time you unquestioningly listen to me. You have been drinking milk out of a bottle or a sippy cup almost all these two years and the other day when I gave you milk from a glass you just drank it without protest and did nt wonder for a second where the bottle was. But if you cant find out which part of the house I am and if I don't answer your calls, you start panicking and about to cry and as soon as you find me, you swallow the tears and pretend to be OK and give me a smile as if you never doubted that I had left you alone and gone somewhere. Who taught you all this? This is when I get proof that not all things are taught but inherited. Because I am exactly like that to the T. Years from now when you get married and start panicking when your husband does nt answer his mobile phone, remember to blame it on your mother's genes. It works!

The most annoying thing about this year would be my Karma punishing me through you. Why oh why is everything in life a circle? Why cant you just be happy when you see your mom and dad hug? You can't stand it if we are touching each other. Actually, you don't want ME to touch YOUR dad. You push only me no matter who's touching whom. You have to come and squeeze yourself in the middle if we are cuddling in the bed. You push my hand away if I put my arm around his shoulder. You scream if we kiss each other and ask your dad to carry you. But its OK if we just give a short kiss though. A peck in the cheek is all you can take. And to think that I was exactly like you when I was young and my folks were nt even that fond of public affection. I did nt even want my mom to sit next to my dad. I would always insist on sitting in the middle. As you sow... But the funny thing is that you make an exception when dad leaves for office. As soon as he kisses you and says good bye, you say "Amma?" and point a finger at me. So your dad kisses me and says good bye and you are happy. Thank you darling. It feels great to be kissed with your approval and without you glaring at us. And we promise, no tongue!

When you were a newborn, I used to wonder what kind of a toddler you would be. You are nothing I imagined. I thought you would be a mini version of me - impatient, messy, loud, lazy and other things Im not proud of myself. But you are such a well behaved toddler that I'm sure your dad is sending you to night school to learn the good stuff. The one thing I adore about you is that you listen to me. Almost always. And it brings a tear to my eyes when you listen to me. Always. I was afraid I would be a bad mother by constantly screaming and shouting and probably even spanking. But you never give me a chance and you don't know how much you have helped me grow because of that. I have discovered I have a calm and quiet side in me too. That I have a very patient and creative side too. Thank you for bringing that out in me. Thank you for being here. I am a better person because of you and I hope you say the same thing about me one day. Well, I can hope!

Happy Birthday Darling!

Luv,
Amma.