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December 30, 2005

I hope and pray that Ashu has nt inherited this from her father.


My husband does not read. There! I said it aloud. How can a person not read, I don’t understand. How did I marry such a person, I definitely don’t understand! No, he’s not illiterate. But what’s the point in being literate just to read Bangalore Times? He can’t finish a book to save his life. A book with 300 pages is his ultimate nightmare. When we were engaged, he gave me a book on positive thinking for my birthday! Talk about misleading! Probably it contained some truth about him because ironically I never finished the book! He also wanted me to suggest some good books. Since I was in a Grisham spree that time, asked him to read The Firm, Client, etc... He bought a copy of Client and if I remember correctly, took the entire 10 months of our engaged period to finish it. That too only because I asked him everyday if he has finished it and he wanted to save his face to his then-fiancée. I should have got a hint at least then. But no! It was not to be. I would have read The Fountain Head a dozen times and suggested it to him. He took one look at the book and asked me to tell the story to him! He finished 2 Harry Potters in a span of 4 years and said he ll see the movies instead of reading the rest. He was pressurized by all the hype about Da Vinci code and bought the book. (He always buys the books he wants to read because no library in the world renews books for a year!) He started reading it when I was 4 months pregnant and finished it after Ashu turned 4 months old! He also brought the book with him when he traveled alone on a plane for 10 hours and still did nt finish it while I finished the whole Ponniyin Selvan Part 4 book in my flight. He finished half of Grisham's Summons and then had to return the book to the library. Till date, he has nt even asked me what happened in the next half. Are nt humans supposed to be curious? And here I want to solve the mystery involving Tutankhamun’s death! For your information, I don’t give up that easily on people. After I read the Alchemist, the first thought I had was, "This is a pretty short novel. Awesome too. I should ask HD to read". Since he spends almost 3 hours on a bus everyday, I suggested he read it then. A week and 24 pages later, I found the book back on the shelf. I did nt even ask him why this time. A person gives up sometime or the other, I guess. And when I said he can’t read, include the fact that he can’t read aloud as well. Punctuation marks don’t exist for him and he has no idea why they are used. He pauses only when he’s out of breath. It’s so annoying to listen to him read that I am in denial that he is my husband whenever he reads. I remember some students in my class at school who were very poor in reading and I used to think so high of myself and used to act snotty around them. They formed a club, chose their president and 10 years later sent his horoscope to my parents. I can hear them laughing even now! Anyway, he does nt read my blog or any other blog for that matter. I have to ask him everyday, “Did you read my blog today?” He will say no and I will read it to him. I would say, “Is nt today’s post hilarious? I got 6 comments today”. Not mentioning the fact that some blessed soul has commented the same message twice, there are 2 spam comments and one of the comments is mine! If he were nt good looking and loaded, I would nt have even gone out on a date let alone have a child with him!

Ps.
Another reason I am with him is that he took a day off and landed in Kmu today and took us all by surprise. Even though Ashu brought him here, I love him for that. Though the man does nt read, he sure listens! And now, can a woman want more?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

How can you manage to get me laughing with every post?!!!
Hilarious post Boo! :-)

And wasnt Jaya right when she said HD is going to land at your doorstep soon?!

Enjoy Maadi!

lakshmi

LAK said...

Hilarious post! "---the bad readers formed a club, elected a leader and sent his horoscope to my parents---" Ha! This proves marriages are made in heaven--I never thought I would marry someone who never read PGWodehouse, but---!

F e r r a r i said...

A man who listens. He he :-)
Nice post

Fountainhead said...

Absolutely hilarious!!! I am totally hooked to ur blogs now! I'm actually getting on the net as often as I can just for this!!! Not even for the mails mind u!!

You go girl...

Oh BTW, I got JUST the right book for HD!!

Fountainhead said...

Whoa!! You actually LIKE The God of Small Things?? I mean, Timeline, Fountainhead, HP and THIS in the same league??? It's the first in my "Cant stand it but got to finish it coz I started it" list of books!

B o o said...

Thanks Laskhmis(!) and Ferrari for the compliments and for coming by.

Fountainhead - Are you the architect person I think you are? and pray tell me what book that is. If its the one with lots of pictures and text, we have it and someone has already looked at all the pictures without even reading a single word!!! :)

"The God of small things" touched my heart. It reminded me of my village days and some incidents too. Its a book I like but I cant seem to tell why. The end was disturbing but was nt gross as some reviews I read said. Also it always makes me feel good when some book which is nt a recent blockbuster touches my heart. I know that its not because of the hype!

alone in my dreams said...

read... learn.
hear... listen.
see.... observe.

I am not sure if I got that right... but you get the idea.

B o o said...

alone - sorry but I dont get the idea! :( * I sort of think I get the idea but dont know if its the right idea though! *

shub said...

hey i love this post! came here thro prabhu's blog
:)

Just like that said...

I'm with Lakshmi- how can you do it with every single post? Make me laugh, that is.
Absolutely hilarious. esp the boy's club prez bit! Lol Lol LOL