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September 17, 2008

The title of this post is the same as my previous post.

Time: Yesterday.
Place: Booville.

Me - So Ashu, Paati is leaving tomorrow huh?
Ashu - *silence*
Me - So who's going to be here?
Ashu - Thatha.
Me - And when is he leaving?
Ashu - October.
Me - Yes. Perimma and Perippa came right? And then they left. Paati came and shes leaving tomorrow. Thatha came last week. And he ll be leaving soon too. And THEN?
Ashu - *in an eager voice* Then Antu will go back into your tummy?
Me - !!!!!!

As the wise Pasupathi once told, "That that person. Their their worry."(Avan avanukku avan avan kavalai!!!)

ps.
Yes, mom left today and I stepped into the kitchen to make tea for the first time in 3 months. I know. I'm spoilt rotten. But its time to stop being a pampered daughter and pick up the reins. And Im trying to do just that. Vera vazhi?

September 14, 2008

"Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there."

I hate family reunions because they come to an end. Sis and Bil left early morning today back to the US. Dad, Hd, Ashu and Antu are taking a nap. Mom and I just finished three back to back games of Ticket to Ride(I won all of them, thank you for asking!) and while my mom is sulking, I looked at our living room now looking empty without the two big suitcases and all the stuff that were here for the past two weeks. When would we see each other next? Antu would nt even remember them the next time. Ashu as always never talks about people after they leave. Mother of all denials, this one has. This time Sis and Bil got her a cute toy stroller. She was over the moon. They said and did all the right things with the kids. I don't how to describe the feeling but they are just so perfect with the kids. Its even scary for me as if they understand my every move. Or may be we are tuned the same way. I know I can leave my kids with my mom without a backward glance but she would do things her way and I am not saying its wrong. But knowing that your kids will be loved as much you love them and in the same way you love them is such an overwhelming feeling. Thank you Sis and Bil for being the rock. You guys are truly phenomenal! :)

We hardly left the house. Mom was doing all the cooking and we stayed home, ate, played games, talked, caught up,... Dad arrived from India on Wednesday with sweets, savouries, new clothes for all us, gifts, etc... and we had a gala time. As if its Diwali already. Sigh! Now no time to sulk as moms leaving in 2 days. Got to save the tears.

By the way, as promised I offered Antu to Bil and he was very keen to pack her and take her with him since she saved all her cutest smiles and coos for him. But then we both forgot a small something while striking our deal. Hd. He totally refused to give up Antu. Sentimental fool that he is!

September 12, 2008

Little girls need their mommies.

Sis and Bil came back from their Italy trip on Tuesday morning. My dad arrived from India on Wednesday night. So yes, another one of our loony family reunions taking place in Zurich for the first time. Yippee! Ashu is in heaven. She resisted school on Thursday morning and she had to be unglued from my fathers arm but she was OK afterwards. She happily left for school on Friday. And something else happened too. There was a coffee morning I had to attend with some school moms. So I took Antu along with me. So far I have been walking Ashu to her class and help her take her jacket and shoes off. I asked her if I can drop her off at the car park and can she go into her class on her own with one of the teachers help. Otherwise I ve to park, take Antu in her car seat and go into the school. Ashu accepted. So I stopped the car in the school driveway and one of the teachers opened the door, helped Ashu and took her in. I was of course in tears seeing my little girl go. Sigh!

Antu was OK when we went to school and was OK on the way to the friends house. Was ok when we were there. But cried non stop when I picked up Ashu and came back home. Even the pacifier did nt work. Ashu was quite shaken by Antus crying. So far she has nt seen Antu cry like that. According to her, if the baby cries, Amma will feed her or change her or carry her or make her sleep. So she was very upset that I was nt doing anything to console Antu. Amma, shes crying Amma. Antus crying Amma, she kept repeating in a sad tone. I told her that Im driving and I am not able to help her and we will be home soon and she ll be OK. Ashu even hummed a song and tried to console Antu. My poor darlings! But this is going to be the routine once my mom leaves on Wednesday. (Sis and Bil leave on Sunday.) Even though my dad will be here for sometime, hes not my mom! Boo hoo hoo! :(

September 02, 2008

School saga continues...

Sis and Bil reached here on Friday morning from the US. I took them with me when I went to pick up Ashu from school at 12.30. The teacher told me that she was very quiet and slept for an hour. Ashu came crying to me and did nt even look at her dear Aunt and Uncle. We walked to a park nearby and slowly Ashu cooled down and started talking to them. We came back home and the weekend passed like a blur. On Sunday, we rented a van and went to Schaffhausen to see the Rhine Falls. Ashu had fun and Antu was quite a sport. All of us enjoyed the trip. Ashu as always clinged to Sis and Bil and wanted every waking minute to be spent with them. Then Monday morning dawned and she absolutely refused to go to school. She began screaming and crying and chanting non stop, "I don't want to go to school Amma". I bundled her up with everyones help and left for school with Bil entertaining her in the car with story after story. She would nt let go of me when we went into the classroom and started screaming again. Miss D was on leave and Miss M, the assistant teacher took her from me. She told me that Ashu is very quiet and does nt play with the children but by her own. Participates in activities but does nt talk or answer. She asked me what she says about school to me. I told her that she talks like school is fun and tells me every bit of detail about school, about who did what, etc... Miss M was happy to hear that. I left a screaming Ashu and came back home. I was very upset. And as always guilt was the first thing to attack, Self doubt, next. Am I doing something wrong? Does Ashu hate school? Should I be talking more in English at home? Should we move back to India? Should I home school her? Is it because of Antu? Am I not giving her enough attention? Is it because of my mom being here? Will she be ok after Mom leaves or will it be worse? Finally I shook myself and told myself, "I am NOT doing anything wrong. I am a GREAT mom. She ll be OK soon" and went back to pick her up at 12.30 albeit with a heavy heart. Miss M was holding Ashus hand and as soon as I went in she told me, "Ashu was so good today. She had so much fun" and Ashu came and hugged me with a wide smile! Whaddayaknow?????? Miss M also told me that Ashu said that Mommy loves the new baby more and it hurts her. The little rat!! Anyhoo, off we came back home with Ashu chattering about what she did in school and how much fun she had! Phew!

Sis and Bil left for their Italy trip last night and are back here on Tuesday. Ashu was mighty upset yesterday and was in a fowl mood when they left. She asked for my sis when she got up today and started saying "I don't want to go to school Amma". Oh Boy! I bundled her up as usual and dropped her in the class and ran home. She was whimpering and not screaming like yesterday. So some improvement! I am about to go and pick her up now. And I have no clue how shes going to be. Crying or smiling? Quiet ot chatty? Kids! They just exist to drive us crazy.