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September 02, 2008

School saga continues...

Sis and Bil reached here on Friday morning from the US. I took them with me when I went to pick up Ashu from school at 12.30. The teacher told me that she was very quiet and slept for an hour. Ashu came crying to me and did nt even look at her dear Aunt and Uncle. We walked to a park nearby and slowly Ashu cooled down and started talking to them. We came back home and the weekend passed like a blur. On Sunday, we rented a van and went to Schaffhausen to see the Rhine Falls. Ashu had fun and Antu was quite a sport. All of us enjoyed the trip. Ashu as always clinged to Sis and Bil and wanted every waking minute to be spent with them. Then Monday morning dawned and she absolutely refused to go to school. She began screaming and crying and chanting non stop, "I don't want to go to school Amma". I bundled her up with everyones help and left for school with Bil entertaining her in the car with story after story. She would nt let go of me when we went into the classroom and started screaming again. Miss D was on leave and Miss M, the assistant teacher took her from me. She told me that Ashu is very quiet and does nt play with the children but by her own. Participates in activities but does nt talk or answer. She asked me what she says about school to me. I told her that she talks like school is fun and tells me every bit of detail about school, about who did what, etc... Miss M was happy to hear that. I left a screaming Ashu and came back home. I was very upset. And as always guilt was the first thing to attack, Self doubt, next. Am I doing something wrong? Does Ashu hate school? Should I be talking more in English at home? Should we move back to India? Should I home school her? Is it because of Antu? Am I not giving her enough attention? Is it because of my mom being here? Will she be ok after Mom leaves or will it be worse? Finally I shook myself and told myself, "I am NOT doing anything wrong. I am a GREAT mom. She ll be OK soon" and went back to pick her up at 12.30 albeit with a heavy heart. Miss M was holding Ashus hand and as soon as I went in she told me, "Ashu was so good today. She had so much fun" and Ashu came and hugged me with a wide smile! Whaddayaknow?????? Miss M also told me that Ashu said that Mommy loves the new baby more and it hurts her. The little rat!! Anyhoo, off we came back home with Ashu chattering about what she did in school and how much fun she had! Phew!

Sis and Bil left for their Italy trip last night and are back here on Tuesday. Ashu was mighty upset yesterday and was in a fowl mood when they left. She asked for my sis when she got up today and started saying "I don't want to go to school Amma". Oh Boy! I bundled her up as usual and dropped her in the class and ran home. She was whimpering and not screaming like yesterday. So some improvement! I am about to go and pick her up now. And I have no clue how shes going to be. Crying or smiling? Quiet ot chatty? Kids! They just exist to drive us crazy.

14 comments:

Maggie said...

It's a phase, Boo. It must be, na? Although you probably want to talk to her about the 'Amma loves the baby more' statement....

artnavy said...

all will be well soon-

and then the tears will be on weekends when there is no school to look forwrad to
:-))

Bharathis said...

I remember when my first daughter was one year old, she would start screaming if my husband came home from office and started telling me about his day! Out of jealousy! So he started telling HER all about his day ending each sentence with her name.Then she would be quiet.You can imagine what a reception the second daughter had from her! We used to talk only to our firstborn all the time, as baby was too small to notice our ignoring her!(Even while changing nappies, we will be giving our 'talk time' only to the first one!) We used to hug and baby talk only when our older daughter was out playing or in play school!

Neera said...

Oh dear, don't worry!! It really is a phase. We had a very very tough time the first 4-6 months Jiya was born. And I don't have to tell you to do anything because I know you are doing your best. Shower all your love on Ashu and pray for it to pass. It will :) Have a happy week ahead!

Neera said...

Have a good book recommendation .. I love it when you smile by Sam McBratney (this we have read ourselves)

http://www.amazon.com/I-Love-When-You-Smile/dp/0060842458/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220411947&sr=1-1

A beautiful book to strengthen the mom child bond

And another one which is even more popular by the same author is
Guess How much I love you.

http://www.amazon.com/Guess-How-Much-Love-You/dp/076360013X

tessiewrites said...

it'll be okie soon...
i still rem how my li'l made a fuss abt goin to school... he did tht for 2 years :) those days we thought tht it wud be tuf task to keep away from home...

now that he is in clg, we've a tuf time keeping him at home :)

Its our space said...

Poor lil Ashu . May be all this is her way of dealing with the fact her grand mom and aunt and uncle will not be around for as long as she wants. Spend some time with her alone - take her out to a park ,buy her an ice cream or some such and get her talking . Or have her doodle how she feels. It may give you some insight in to her thought process and you can do something to help her.

Even with out a sibling in picture some days are trying with kids. So just take it easy - it will pass.

Its our space said...

And hey,Happy Ganesh Chaturthi:) I am sure you would have feasted on all kinds of kozhukattais while the likes of me struggle to make the 'toing 'thingy on the kozhukks .

Rohini said...

These kids I tell ya. The brat really enjoys his school, his teachers love him, he has made friends and he is full of stories when he comes home but every morning he wakes up saying 'I don't want to go to school. I never ever want to go to school'.

syeda said...

nw to ur blog nice obne, my daughter just started going to schoool,dunno wat she will do,I know little bit of tamil...Nallarkingla?

choxbox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mama - Mia said...

:D

i hope you have been seeing a smiling face!! :D

cheers!

abha

Vee said...

'Amma loves the baby more' is never going to stop. It doesnt stop even after you marry her off.

Ofcourse the 1st ones learn to deal with it.How much the 1st borns have to suffer!!! I am sure that you would now appreciate your sis a lot more than you ever had.

bird's eye view said...

"children are born to make their moms suffer agonies of guilt" - old jungle saying!

Something for you on my blog