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August 28, 2007

Update on Ashu at 28 Months.

I don't know if its the age or being in India, but Ashu is a different child these days. I would nt know where to begin to describe her. She seems so grown up at times.

She talks. A lot. She uses sentences like Poonai Ottamaa Odi pochu (The cat ran as if in a race), Paati kindal pandraa(Grandma is pulling my leg), Thatha engayo poita (Thatha has gone somewhere), Biscuit mattum porum (I want only biscuit), Enakku onnum vendaam (I dont want anything)... Its a sweet shock every time she says something new and I make her say it again and again until she gets tired of it. I literally rolled on the floor laughing when she said Paati kindal pandraa. It was totally unexpected.

She is just like the annoying son of my friend who would say, "Amma lets go home", whenever they visited my house. As soon as Ashu scans the hosts house and finds no one of her height, she starts telling "Amma lets go home" and goes to wear her shoes. I am seriously thinking of buying a new book or a new toy before we visit someones house to keep her occupied. Anything to avoid the embarrassment.

She of course is fully potty trained except for the nights when she uses the diaper. She takes off her pant by herself, goes to the toilet and sits on the potty seat and does the job. She even volunteered to clean the potty seat, but I declined.

She has become so adamant and so stubborn that Im really hoping that its only a temporary thing thanks to my dad and she ll be okay once we go back to Zurich. If not, Im planning to send her right back to India on a plane. Alone.

Everything is a struggle these days. As soon as I say "Ashu come here", she ll run to the farthest corner away from me and stare at me from there as if daring me to come and get her. I stare right back at her and its all a downhill from there. Loads of tears, lots of shouting,... all for a simple "come here". So imagine the bathing, dressing, eating, drinking and the other dozen things.

Shes unpredictable with kids. She loves their company but when it comes to sharing the toys, she shares with some and fights with others. Hugs some and pushes others. Snatches things from some and gives away to others. Very confusing.

"Sorry" used to be dime a dozen. Now she rations it. If she hits me or others and I ask her to apologize, she stares at me and zips her mouth. 9 out of ten times, she wins!


Yes, my baby girl who I was very proud that shes non violent has started hitting. I don't know if its the school she picked it from or just another milestone, but she is hitting. Unnecessarily, that too. I have pleaded with her, begged her, scolded her, shouted at her, gave her time outs, hit her right back, advised her, blackmailed her, bribed her,... but nothing seems to work. Its not frequent but its there. Enough to bother me.

She goes from this high energy, laughing and playing kid to a crying mess in less than two seconds when shes sleepy. One minute shes playing peekaboo with me and the next, shes crying her lungs out. I don't even have the time to change her into her pyjamas. She cries as if someone tried to strangle her. This is one thing I don't understand at all about her. WHY?

She has clearly started voicing her needs. And no one in the world can changer her mind. If she wants me to accompany her to the terrace, she wont stop nagging until I go with her. I have no choice. If my dad takes her to the bathroom, then only he should help her wear her pants. Not I. If my mom fed her lunch, then only she should clean her mouth. Not I. She will wear her shoes herself. She will pluck flowers from the garden herself, she will close the door herself,... She has clear ideas of whom should do what. And she ll throw a fit otherwise.

She wont talk or sing rhymes or even say her name to strangers. Most of the times, the strangers just happen to be my uncle, aunt, cousins and friends. They already know her name anyway and just have to take my word for it when I say that she knows her ABC's and can sing "Twinkle, twinkle little star".

For the past 16 months, her diet has been almost the same. She has not added anything new. Im not bothered anymore. One can only try so much. But thanks to this trip, at least my dad now knows what a stubborn kid she is when it comes to food. I don't have to hear him lecture me on the phone on what to give her anymore. I hope!

Sometimes, she says things like "I don't want you", "go away", "I don't like you" and breaks my heart. She did nt go to my dad or talk to him for a while when he came back after a 5 day trip. My dad felt horrible. Forget the teens, Im more scared of her turning three!

She would nt walk two steps. She ll say "Thookiko" (Pick me up) after walking for 2 seconds. I hated walking and whined "Thookiko" until I was 5 or 6 years old, I think. So no use complaining. Fate has a cruel sense of humor.

Last night while taking to Hd on the phone and narrating Ashus antics, he told me that Im complaining a lot about Ashu these days and I have nt told him one good thing about her since I left Zurich. I hope you did nt read this post, dear!

29 comments:

Kodi's Mom said...

so she's turned into a little brattess then...that adorable pattu paavadai smile says otherwise. K was hitting too after coming back from India, first I ignored it. when it didnt work, everytime he hit, I would hug him in return. he forgot abt it in a few days. so let her enjoy now, when it is just you and her, I think a lot of bratish behavior will disappear. of course that can't be good to explain to your HD ;)

mnamma said...

Ashu seems to be having the time of her life! Pattu paavadai, nethi chutti, valaiyal all the regal paraphernalia looks amazing! If my daughters take a look at this photo they would throw a tantrum ordering me to take them to India :) so that they can deck up anytime they want. And is that jaathi malli that Ashu is picking? Even thinking about the smell makes me long for it. And like Kodi's Mom says the brattish behavior will dissapear when you are back in Swiss. Let her enjoy!

yaadayaada said...

Look at that smile. How can you say such this about her?

Moppet's Mom said...

Lovely, lovely pictures! But it's true about the Mr Hyde type transformation, I see it with Moppet - one minute she's the sweetest, most adorable, stunningly smart kid you ever saw, and the next she's this maddening, screaming monster I want to just throw off the balcony! Hang in there, you know it's a phase...

timepass said...

Cute pics Boo.. Like the others said, I think Ashu will get back to her obedient self once she finds no one obeying her in Zurich..

subha said...

I guess it happens witht he kids when they come to be with grandparents. My niece was the same when she came from US to be with her thatha paati ( my parents). And now that she is back to her home under her mom's constant watch, she is a good girl now. so am sure ashu wud be goody goody soon. dont worry. enjoy ur stay for now.

Sunita said...

'Screaming her lungs out'..I think I know what you mean. My peapod screams like no one's business and after I have reached my limits ignoring her and ask her to shut up she does only to shout back and check what variance offends the most.
Where can I get thoes gorgeous pavadas

The Visitor said...

Boo - I'd think it's a phase. The cure (for you) is to accept it and not worry yourself about it. Worry also can transmit itself. So you relax first and wait it out. If you want an outlet you always have The Cult of Bad Mamma. ;-)

Poppins said...

I think it's two things Boo, one is the sudden attention/pampering of grandparents. Two, it is what they call the terrible twos. The need to be independent and assert herself at every step.

Don't take it personally. I hope you understand what I mean when I say that. When kids behave in unexpected ways we take it to be a blight on our parenting skills and get more stressed out than the situation demands. Avoid doing that.

The pictures, god I'm drooling !

noon said...

Love the pattu pavadai pic.
And Kodi, Poppins - comments here have said it all. The famous "phase" that we have to live through...and am sure each "phase" will bring it's own set of challenges! Like Tharini has said in her recent post - I think we are in it for the long haul. Very long haul!
Really I thought meal challenges are the big ones - I guess I have even worse things coming as my son enters his terrible twos (which started at 21m)...what joy to look forward to!

Collection Of Stars said...

The pics are cute...especially the paavadai :)
Know what - you are lucky - you have Ashu behave like this at 28 months but my KT has been at it right from the time she completed 18 months (about 20 days back) :(.
I am wondering whatever happened to my sweet little baby.

utbtkids said...

Boo, it is soooooo familiar that I can cut it nad paste it in my blog as Chula's antics!!!! Well this has been going on for the past 15 months in our house hold, that it is slowly passed the 'phase' assumption and at the verge of getting branded as her 'personality'. So now you understand what I mean by 'we fear Chula'. If you haven't, check out my post 'Enlightment'.

Some one once told me that twos is a window in to the teens. Some one help me please.

B o o said...

Kodis mom - She hates hugging when shes not in the mood and she is hitting other people, so I got to intervene. But Im trying hard not to make it "my" issue!

mnamma - Its Jaathi Mullai, at my aunts house! :)

yaadayaada - Trust you to take her side!

Moppets Mom - Is it just a phase? :(

Timepass - *Crossing my fingers*

Subha - And my dad feels as if Ashu would pay for all the pampering she had here while serving time in Zurich! This man is out to get me!

B o o said...

Sunita - You can try readymade paavadais from RMKV, Kumaran, Pothys,... Chennai. Trust us moms to complain about our kids and buy paavadais for them! ;)

Thanks for the comment, Visitor. I really needed to hear it!

Poppins - You are absolutely right, as always! I do take it personally and especially in front of guests, I take it as a black mark on my parenting. But Im slowly trying to change myself and succeeding thankfully.

Noon - Not to scare you, but meal challenges are nothing compared to the tantrums they throw, believe me! But the tricky part with fussy eaters is that sometimes Ashu is throwing a tantrum because shes hungry and during those times, Im royally screwed! Sigh!

COS - They start young these days huh? ;)

UTBT - Really? If my half baked parenting does nt work and your perfect parenting does nt work, I have my doubts now if "Parenting" works at all!!!! Im sure our kids are laughing their heads off reading our blogs!

Tharini said...

As always I am late on the roll call to comment. Grrr. And now you've hard all the pearls of wisdom from everyone else and I will sound like a broken record. But still I'll persist..

hitting = it'll go away as she gets a little older. you can talk them out of it.

saying unkind things to you = i once did a post on that abt akhil. again...you stop taking it seriously.

particular abt everything = its the age. she's learning abt independence.

Really...all of this sounds so wonderfully normal and right on cue...there's nothing for u to be bothered abt.

But don't listen to me okay? Its our job as mother to fret over everything, so go ahead and have fun! ;)

Just Like That said...

Oh Boo, don't worry over all this!

What will you do when she grows older and has homework???

Getting Sonny boy to eat, sleep, drink, behave...was a breeze compared to getting him to do his homework! :-(

She looks gorgeous and angelic! If I didn't have Sonny boy, I'd have thought you were exaggerating.

Lol at the last line.

Ishaan's mom said...

Hi,

This is exactly what i face with my 3 yr old so. so don't worry we are all there with you for company.

I think Kids grow up faster then we can imagine!!

Cheers
Pallavi

Something to Say said...

O dear God!!! now I know what to expect the next few months...

Roche said...

my nephew is hitting at 11 months...you should be happy....

A kitchen scientist & a white rat hubby!!! said...

nice blog..me too have a son who is a couple of months younger to yours..honestly, we can never forsee how children behave tomoroow

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