This and that.

Ashu is sick since we came back from Prague last Tuesday. Her nose is running, shes coughing really hard and is also feverish during the nights, extremely clingy and ready to bawl at the drop of a hat. Phew! Since I had medicines for all the ailments, shes a little better now. Have to pay the doctor a visit tomorrow if she does nt improve considerably. Hd and I always seem to disagree with this Doctor thing. He wants to go and see the Doctor as soon as she starts getting sick. I want to go only after a couple of days if she does nt get better. Generally, I hate to go to the hospital or see a Doctor. And equally hate medicines. I don't go unless and until it is absolutely necessary like when I fall down a flight of stairs and bleeding like hell or in labor! I seem to do the same with Ashu as well. So far things have worked out OK but the nagging feeling starts eating me up from the day she gets sick. Should I have gone to the Dr today? Has she become worse? Is she in pain? Am I doing the wrong thing? Is this a bad judgement? Will she be ok tomorrow? God forbid but will the worst nightmare of my life happen? And then the next day when she seems better but becomes worse towards evening, I'm going through all the guilt again. And its bad if this happens in a weekend as the entire Zurich is in curfew and the only option is the Emergency at the Children's hospital. And last time when we went there for Ashus wheezing problem, we had to wait for 4 hours by which time Ashu was perfectly fine and the Doctor could nt find anything wrong with her and sent us home with some Paracetamol! Damned if I did, damned if I did nt! Perfectly explains life with kids, does nt it?

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Hd is going to Amsterdam today and will be back on Thursday. So its going to be just me and Ashu for 3 nights. And I cant go "Mommy! Help!" as I did in India. I am sure I ll be OK but theres a little chance that I might go mad too. Will let you guys know for sure!

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I think it became Summer straight after Winter here in Zurich. It is so warm and so bright everyday here since the time change. And its high time I buy curtains for the huge windows in this flat. The sun light is really blinding. I'm not able to see where Ashu is after I look out of the window for a minute to see what the cows are up to. Oh yeah, I completely forgot to tell about the cows. There are these three farms next to our apartment and so far I have seen only 4 horses roaming around. Hd was telling me that he spotted some cows in October and they ll be out once the winter is over. And there they were 2 weeks back. Around 50 cows in total and one of the herd comes real close to the fence and I have fun looking at them from our 10th floor window and balcony. Ashu could nt believe her eyes the first time she spotted the whole lot of them. And to think that I grew up in a village with our very own farm. Sigh!

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Remember Baby S? She has been moved to the Children's Hospital in Zurich. So I got a chance to meet my friend, P. The baby was in the ICU so I did nt get to see her. Which was good as I don't think I could have handled it well. P started crying as soon as she saw me and I could nt take it. We were sitting and talking for a couple of hours about this and that and catching up as we were seeing each other after an year. Her husband and her son were at home.(in another city an hour away by train) This happened a month back. Now shes commuting between Zurich and home everyday. The baby is still in the ICU. A surgery was performed last week and they are waiting to see if theres any improvement. The doctors told her that its a very slow process. She still needs our prayers.

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OK, I just got back from the Paediatrician. Hd left for the airport in the morning so I had to go alone. I deserve it for delaying to go to the Doctor. Ashu had high temperature in the morning too, so called the Doc and went there by 10. Ashu seemed to be fine then and I was worried what the Doc was going to say. But he took a blood test and confirmed theres an infection and prescribed antibiotics. I told Ashu that the nurse was going to prick her fingers and it will hurt a little but not to cry. To my amazement, she kept looking at her finger and the nurse and did nt cry at all! So I cried. I mean here's this little girl who has been crying in her sleep for the past 3 days and I was getting impatient with her. And then when I saw her not crying when a needle pricked her little finger, I felt so guilty and realized how badly she might have been hurting to cry like that. So I called Hd who was at the airport and guilt tripped him as well! Why should I suffer alone? Anyway, I had to go to the Central Zurich area to buy the medicines as all the shops here are closed due to Sechseläuten(The beginning of the Spring Festival). Ashu is asleep now and I hope she gets better soon. As my mom says, sometimes paying the Doctor fee is all it takes for the kids to get alright.

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Happy Tamil New Year!