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August 31, 2006

The pain of Potty training.

1. It is frustrating.

2. It requires a lot of patience and I don't even know why we have to do it. I mean, I can afford diapers even until Ashu goes to college. I don't care about the environment. Theres no water scarcity or wet wipes scarcity! No rashes or allergy to be worried about. And I care a foot about my neighbor who has told me to potty train Ashu like a million times.

3. After 16 months of peepee-free, poopoo-free life, its very tough to adjust now.

4. The entire day, I either spend in the toilet urging her to peepee and poopoo or on the lookout for where shes going to "go" next. Because as soon as she finishes, she ll start tap-dancing on "it"! And sometimes slip and fall and hurt herself.

5. She goes #1 while sitting on my lap, while standing on the bed, while walking, while running, while lying down on her tummy,... spraying everything within a foot radius. But shes discreet when it comes to BMs. Always chooses a corner. Thank God for small mercies!

6. Currently the whole house is her bathroom and she pretty much goes anywhere and everywhere. I clean up the floor like I have never cleaned in my entire life and bathe Ashu every time she goes.

7. After telling about 100 times, you would think that a child will understand what you are asking her to do right? But she is clueless. Wonder what goes through her mind.

8. Today Madam climbs on the bed and goes #1. I finish hanging the clothes in the balcony and come back inside to see soggy wet bedsheets and mattress. I blew my fuse. For the first time, I really, really screamed at her. I screamed so badly that she started crying and I got furious and dragged her out of the bedroom. Then I locked myself in the bedroom while changing the bed sheets and drying the mattress with a hair dryer. The hair dryer died on me after 10 minutes. All the while I could hear Ashu crying in the hall. It took a while to calm myself. Then I sat with Ashu and told her NOT to go on the bed hereafter. She of course had no clue what I was talking about! Like I said, it is FRUSTRATING! :(

ps. To be filed under "Posts to be deleted as soon as Ashu learns to read".
ps2. Neha, not so cute anymore. Is she?

31 comments:

artnavy said...

WOw- thanks for the advance notice...I plan to start on my little one soon ...BTW I have just begun my blog- do visit

Tharini said...

Awwww. I know its tough.

Do you think that you may want to wait a bit tho?

I am asking because I have done it the way you have, with the time training and waiting and watching and innumerable accidents (here on the carpet which is worse), and I have discovered that when the right time comes, which is when they are potty-ready, the transition usually is a lot faster and smoother and less frustrating than at her tender age of 14 mos(?).

You could keep talking to her about it and have small intervals during the day when you leave her diaperless, and increase that interval when u think she begins to understand and make progress.

You don't want to have any more episodes where you end up screaming at her for something that she may not be ready for.

Julyvee said...

Wait for some more time pa... paavam adhu - innum rendu vayasu kooda aagala.

B o o said...

Actually, she was sick last week and had mild dysentery too. Developed rashes. So I stopped diapers in the day time and thats when all this happened! She is ok now and as you said Thairni, I am leaving her without diapers for small intervals and as soon as she makes "that" face, running to the bathroom. Even I feel shes not ready yet, but the pressure......! (Especially in India, I should add!)

WA said...

:(

Boo got to say 1 to 7 was funny. But when it got to no.8 couldn't stop myself from feeling sad, but take heart we've all been there and done it. Ignore your neighbour and do what you think is the best, you and only you know what is best for her and for yourself. Ignore everyone else.

Aparna said...

Having gone through potty training somewhat recently (not me, my daughter), I agree with Tharini and WA and julyvee(though I don't know exactly what she said, I got the gist of it) :)

Boo, when the time comes you'll know! Resist the pressure and take the stress off Ashu and yourself.

Tharini said...

I think you're brave enough to handle the pressure. :)

What is pressure if you don't 'allow' yourself to be pressured.

Find a 'thanks, but no thanks' approach on this one and enjoy your little toddler.

I know its hard to sometimes differentiate between when to push your child (as in a gently nudge) and when to back off and take her cues on things.

So, you'll just have to take it from people who've been there and done that and recognise a situation for what it is.

HTH you to relax on this issue, and find out what your options are in investing in a college diaper fund instead. :))

The Kid said...

that is interesting... I have know babies that go pee just after you remove the diaper... maybe because of the sudden exposure! That should have helped to get some control!

Never had a baby so, I should not say much!

Sush said...

I know it must be frustrating thing to do.. but I feel you can give her a little more time.

Good luck both of you...

Anonymous said...

Boo, it's heartening to read about your frustration. You might be interested in this: http://jjg.goringe.net/index.php?s=potty+training

You started off too early with Ashu(Advice. A-g-a-i-n. Like your annoying neighbor. I know...sorry). No fair!

Anonymous said...

Definetely only after 2 yrs is a good time to start potty training and girls generally are better than boys :). I have heard people saying that they trained their kid at 6 months, 1yr etc. But that is like punishing themselves because the kid's bladder is not so big to hold the urine for atleast 3hrs and they end up making so many bathroom visits. Don't frustate your kid too much..she is not ready yet. :)

Dubukku said...

same phase here for second daughter. Know what they dont understand our language.Our first one teaches her and so relatively easy and she is picking up good.
See if any little ones in your family can be of help. Beleive me they teach them fast and their language is easy for them to understand.
Take it easy.

S said...

Welcome to motherhood my dear!!
Real patience is what will win you the deal! There's no way absolutely NO WAY an 18 month old is going to u'stand when u scream and shout and blow your fuse on her!! think from her mind she is going to be nervous and sulking all day...why amma shouted at me...
when it happens just move away from the room, take a very deep breath count upto 10 if it helps and come back and face your daughter. It's after all wee and poo, nothing is worth a scream and shout on the poor little thing's face.

believe me I'm a mum of a 3 and half yr old, live abroad and i potty trained her exactly 2 weeks, yes 2 weeks while we visited india when she was 20 months old(simply bcos it was easy to leave her without nappies in india and the pressure of course)Of course we have had accidents, but the key is patience. and they will learn so quickly. You just need the patience. And this is a good time if u ask me. People who live in the west might advice that 24mnths -36 mnths is the ideal time, but my experience says this is the best time, esp if u live in India. And it is easy take it from me:-))
best wishes
s

the mad momma said...

:) relax...
this is India. I had people wanting to potty train him when he was born. starting with MIL. She kept putting warm water on his butt to make him go. And my stubborn 2 month old refused to do it on demand - unlike her other obliging children and grandchildren i am told. people love pressurising us mothers. tell them to shove it. I dont really keep the Brat in diapers, but he is kind enough to point to his undies after he pees so that i can change him and mop the floor. big job is done on the clock each morning so i put him on the pot the moment he wakes up. but really... there is no hurry. as someone wise once said, have you ever seen an 18 year old who is not potty trained?

itchingtowrite said...

the kid is right- the moment you open the open the diaper, they have a tendency to go if they have not wet it by then. I follow this thumb rule- take them to their potty for No. 1 the moment they are awake or before taking them to sleep or if they are crying and twisting their body or simply if i discover that some time has passed and they are still not wet or if they wake up crying in the middle of the night. for No 2 I make them sit on their potty the moment they are awake and touch wood from the time they were 6 months old, they have cooperated with this arrangement. of-course if I find them straining and making those funny faces, any time of the day, i immediately take them to the pot... Some say I am being inhuman to them but I prefer it this approach of prevention rather than cure and believe that they are more comfortable going in the potty rather nappy

B o o said...

Its so good to hear from most of you that its too early and I can wait. Thats the best advice I ve heard so far! ;)

Thanks anon for that link.

dubukku - I can do baby voice, will that help?!! :)

S - You are so right. Friends of mine look forward for that India trip to potty train their kids and thats the reason I started off early too. Slow and steady...

B o o said...

Mad Momma - Mine has no routine at all and the dysentery last week did nt help. Also shes cutting a Molar tooth and THAT does nt help either. So basically, it was wrong timing but I did nt have a choice. This week is better though!
>>have you ever seen an 18 year old who is not potty trained?
Thats what keeps me going! :))

Itchingtowrite - You are amazing! One week of taking Ashu to the toilet for about 7 or 8 times a day and I was beat! How do you do it with two of them? Show me your feet!

Gauri said...

Aww Boo !! I can well understand your frustration over this - I am just about seeing light at the end of the tunnel myself with potty training my 3 1/4 year old little boy.

Like the others have said, give her more time.

And trust me, it is not only in India that you get pressurised over this. There are smart alecks all over the world - I've been at the receiving end too.

Good Luck !!

The Visitor said...

Hi Boo - Tharini's advice is what you need to follow- dont pressurise yourself and Ashu.
And please, please dont ever shout at the kutti - they really dont understand. You might scare her in the process.
Itching to write seems to have the strategy worked out well - try that.
I think that you've already started doing well - like recognizing that sudden funny face (I call it the philosophical deep thought look).
Thumbs up!

mumbaigirl said...

I am sure you know what is best. Don't listen to anyone else except yourself-do what you feel is right.

the mad momma said...

just mailed ya!

mommyof2 said...

Why do you listen to other people? And after reading your blog I can't think of you giving a damn about what others thinks & let them rule your life (I am saying in good way but can't find better words:-).. I don't care about others & do what I think is right.. Just do what works for you. If you wanna take a took at this post on potty training my son

http://babymomblog.blogspot.com/2006/08/potty-training.html

btw I liked the other dress better too:-)

B o o said...

Gauri - Welcome. I ve been reading you for quite a while now. (through Tharini.) Thanks for the advice. I have decided to hang the mop! :)

Visitor - Promise! I wont! and thanks for the other comments too!

mumbaigirl - If only I could...

mommyof2 - I read that post a few weeks ago. (through Tharini again! Thanks Tharini!:) And was amazed. Trying to imagine myself pregnant and going through this so called potty training! And you say you dont have patience? I have NO patience. I bow to you! :)

dimbulb said...

Hey Boo!

My 13 month old has been on cloth nappies since the day he was born.
And for one year, I changed and changed and changed and changed *did I mention changed?*


1. Coz I didn't know there were velcro nappies in the market. So for the first two months I was figuring out how to tie square pieces of cloth so that he doesn't do a projectile susu in his ear!

2. When I found that there were velcro cloth nappies : I got so possesive about them after seeing how convenient they were, and I didn't go the diaper way...

3. Plus Chennai was too hot for Diapers, according to me


4. And so at 13 months, guess who is toilet trained? Me!

I know when a susu is coming on, by the minute :-)

5. So I take him to the loo and say "Please, please, please" and he has associated the bathroom with peeing : yippeeeeeeeeee!!!

6. BUT, there are accidents when I forget to take him

7. And dont forget Kaka!! He puts his hand into the potty everytime he sits... And this is a thumbsucker I am talking about :-) Down to my last three strands of hair

-- ODB

Uma said...

Yes, its absolutely tiring. i had gone thru the same thing with my son very recently, who is 3 now. She should be able to tell you when she wants to do; its a bit early for her i guess. its true that girls learn quicker than boys.

Anonymous said...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/toddlers_toilettraining.shtml

premalatha

Aqua said...

hey my baby's older than anshu and she's still not potty trained :(

i worry coz most of the babies her age already are. and i believe play schools insist that the child is potty trained !

pls to pass on tips :)

Hip Grandma said...

why did you scream at her?not fair at all.were you better?

B o o said...

Dimbulb - You are a Dheivam. But what about sofas and beds? Toddlers just climb on anything and everything and soosoofy! Thats what I am really worried about!! The cleaning part, I mean! And while you go out? Do you use the training pants?

Uma - Another reason to be thankful for having a girl then?
Check!

Thanks Latha!

B o o said...

Aqua - You just spoke my mind. More than people actually pressuring you, you get pressured seeing the other potty trained kids!

Hip Grandma - Welcome. Thats what I ask myself after screaming at her! "Why did I scream at her?" And what do you mean by "were you better"? Was I better before Ashu? No! I always screamed at HD too!! ;) Or Did you mean was it better after screaming? No it was nt!

Dog's Best Friend said...

hey boo
I've known kids that're 3 and just been potty trained. Chill out. MIne's 18 months and I try to take him to the bathroom every 1 hour or so to go sssshhhhhhhhhh. And the minute he squats I rush him onto the potty. It seems to be working. Why, a couple of times, he opened the bathroom door himself and announced 'Susu' ...take heart...there's hope out there