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May 29, 2013

Ashu's First School Trip.

Hd and I got married one fine day in June and about 2 weeks later, he joined work. It was around 8 am and he was getting into his car and I was standing near the gate waving goodbye and felt this huge lump in my throat! Tears were about to roll down my cheeks and I did nt want him to see them so I just smiled and went inside. But he knew. We never talked about it later and even to this day, almost 13 years later, its hard for me to see him leave even if hes just going to get the mail! But of course the feeling is nt as intense as it was the first time he left and I even forgot how intense it could be and how hollow it makes you fell. Until yesterday. 

Ashu left on a school trip. Her stupid school trip! (Thats what I ve been calling it for the past one month, much to her annoyance!) I was all fine until the weekend. Then I started worrying! How will she manage! What would she do! What would I do! We bought her a new suitcase, a new sleeping bag, packed her stuff, gave her a million instructions, quizzed her on trivial things and when the day and time arrived, my dad, Hd and I walked her to school. She saw her best friend and stuck to her. The friends mom and I looked at each other and could nt say much because both of us had worry written all over our faces! The girls climbed into the bus, sat next to each other and buckled their seat belts. For a minute, I thought of grabbing her and running away! Hd was keeping an eye on me because he was sure I would do something utterly crazy! My dad kept on asking Ashu "Are you sure you want to go?" and Ashu was rolling her eyes at him! I took a photo and waved and blew her a kiss and the bus went on its way! This was Monday morning 9.40 am! I will see and hear from her next on Friday 2.30 pm! Needless to say, Im a nervous wreck! I cant even remember a day I did nt talk to Ashu in the last 8 years and now I cant hear her voice for over 3 1/2 days! I dont know what shes doing, what shes eating, what shes wearing,...! Sigh!

The house is eerily silent in spite of 4 adults and Antu! And the lump in my throat and the butterflies in my stomach are refusing to leave! Sorry Hd, the first time you left is a walk in the park compared to this one. But Im glad you are suffering along with me because I cant do this alone!

I know there would be many, many more trips and good byes but I dont think I ll ever forget this day. I dont want to.